Coming to a hi-fi wanker store near you: $500 "audiophile" ethernet cable. Directional, even! Ok, the CAT-5 equivalent of lamp power cord is a bit more expensive than, well, lamp power cord, but it'll transmit your data just as well as the cord transmits electricity to your speakers, and it'll all sound just as good as the idjit who spends $5k on his interconnects.

Oh, and I couldn't quite think of how to express the "fool and his money" adage in a single line using a lambda. After 12 years using the real thing, I'm just too comfy with pseudo-SQL. I'll leave alternatives as thought exercises for the peanut gallery.

Three words: Farming with Dynamite. Does the real chance of dying from some weird disease that today would only require a shot balance out with having high explosives available for purchase at the corner hardware store? I'm just not sure...

It was bound to happen eventually. Someone's come up with a "sock Obama". It's got that great racist fizz!

Like a child who refuses to clean up her room until her trip to the movies is threatened, it would seem China really can control counterfeiters, if they're given a reason. If I were Microsoft or Sony, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for this newfound efficiency to "bleed over" into any of my piracy cases. They do have their priorities, donchanknow?

Annie gets a well-protected no-prize for bringing us just what, exactly, the very last shipment of goods this season to our antarctic research base contained. Jiggidy!

I think this one pretty much defines "so scared you scream like a girl." Since she is, and does, and is, well, there ya go. Me, I'd be hooting and hollering like a goddamned chimpanzee, but I'm special that way.

While I knew the correct definition for most of these "9 words that don't mean what you think they mean", there were still a few surprises. I have, fortunately, grown out of the habit of correcting people about them. Having a wife who can tell her husband to f- off three different ways in two sentences will teach one to maintain one's own council about such things, donchaknow?

Male domestication, step 4: teaching him practical jokes that worked on his dorm friends will not work on you. I learned this one a long time ago. This is probably more due to me being old than to me being smart. Just ask my wife!

No, really, I'm just watching to see how the widget works. Personally, I think "boobmaster" would've been a more appropriate name. SFW!

They're called "awful", but I think this collection of custom license plates is pretty funny. I especially like the "EAT THE - [children first]" plate. From Virginia no less!

Members of the peanut gallery currently or formerly involved in the medical profession (veterinary or otherwise) may find thi s list of "insulting" diagnosis abbreviations of interest. The comments on the FARK link include more items, as well as more than a few sniffy "This is not funny!" replies.

Annie gets a no-prize with foil hat firmly attached for bringing us this "doomsday" scenario at least one group believes is inevitable if a national ID scheme is ever implemented. Because we all know how the current amazingly well constructed HIPAA legislation is being utterly and completely ignored.

Next...

...

But O so funny.

I'm not sure which is better... the position of this (very expensive) British helicopter, or the position of the parking truck. The latter being quite definitively out of frame, we'll just have to speculate.

Nothing livens up a press conference like counter-rotating flying dildos. No, really!

Via Violins and Starships.

Fark veterans will know nearly all of them by heart, but the rest of you should find this collection of best mugshots "evar" amusing. Hey, at least they're famous for something!

Chili's a cow. Chili's a big cow. Chili has an interesting taste in snacks (emphasis added):

However, nine-year-old Chilli grazes just on grass and enjoys the occasional swede as a treat at his home at the Ferne Animal Sanctuary in Chard, Somerset, where he was dumped at six days old.

How the hell does that get by the copy editors?

Mark gets a silver no-prize with an earthy blue star on it for bringing us this older, but no less amusing, cartoon about a certain peanut gallery member's favorite football team. I'd probably laugh more, but the Redskins stink so bad they're not usually not even worth the occasional chuckle.

I peed myself laughing at this.

Of course...it's Florida!

Mark gets a no-prize with no detectable accent I can hear for bringing us this "Red State Update" view of the Democratic primary process. It was the very last line of dialog that clinched it for me.

While I would've probably enjoyed more floppy-induced mayhem and less goofy shtick, this film about one man's quest to find a use for 3.5" floppies was still amusing. This is my boomstick!!!

Damion gets an extremely subtle no-prize for bringing us one fine example of hot-rodding a ricer. Hey, at least he's not hiding anything, eh?

Rhinos: 1, Wildebeast: 0. Hey, if they were bright they wouldn't be living like that, ya know?

Mark gets an old but good no-prize for bringing us the latest (that we've seen anyway) Morse code vs. text message contest. Oh, and Jay, it's MORSE, not "morris." Geeze.

Annie gets a very interestingly shaped no-prize for bringing us the true story of what happens when rich Americans in the West get into a tiff with each other. You can take the redneck out of his tacky neighborhood, but...

So, fess up now, are any of your favorite songs on this list of "top 90's worst videos. I'm expecting a lot of indignant harumpfs and denials from the peanut gallery. Methinks they doth...

I always suspected those guys underneath the stage of The Muppet Show were having a good time. Now I have proof.

Rick R. gets a no-prize in the shape of a score board for bringing us this great link.

Any Brits who go on about how tacky people in the US can be are pleased to be shutting up and sitting down now. And all this time I thought Amber's dress was complicated...

Annie gets a no-prize with an extremely amusing mug shot attached for bringing us a story involving of one of the less popular places to spend one's wedding night:

A newlywed couple spent the night in separate jail cells -- she in her wedding gown -- after police said they brawled with each other, then members of another wedding party, at a suburban Pittsburgh hotel.

And could someone please explain wtf a "Yintzer" is?

I agree with Ron, Best! Song! Evar!!! I especially liked how Rodney kept looking at the balcony chick. Impressive. Most impressive.

NSFW!

They must've been on sale or something:

Three streetcars purchased by the District of Columbia for about $10 million are being held in the Czech Republic until the city builds tracks for the cars.

Bought 'em three years ago, no less.

Pat gets a no-prize with no reserve set on it for bringing us news that you, too, can get your classified military parts cheap on e-bay. I would like to think the whole thing was a complicated sting operation to allow the FBI to pop Achmejanni trying to pick up some spares for his Tomcats. Of course, this is the Federal government we're talking about here, so...

Bad: getting yelled at by mom for not telling her you're meeting some myspace guy you met.

Worse: having a kid brother around with a video camera.

Couldn't tell if it was a younger or older brother, but it doesn't matter. Is this a conversation I'm going to have in 13 years? I'd like to think not.

"Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice." -- Bill Cosby

Via Econlog.

It's also why towing children's toys with grown-up four-wheelers is bad. No kids were harmed in the filming, although I imagine that teenage punk's little sister isn't going to be very happy with him.

Something tells me one of Ellen's co-workers probably has a picture of him somewhere wearing suits just like this. Well, not the guy with the gold lame boots, the businessmen.

You just all better watch out, this could be coming to a movie night near you!

Now, far as I'm concerned any woman over 30 who marries a man more than twice her age deserves what she gets. I also think the reverse is also true. Go for the ridiculous story. Stay for the cRaZy eyes.

There's nothing better than clips of pretty, self-important people getting p3wned to help start your Saturday morning. Now, go outside and accomplish something.

Hooray for Viagra! Hey, it's what married people are supposed to do.

Technically SFW, but some of the ads are suspiciously raunchy.

Lisa brings us a very 'down under' ad all the way from DOWN UNDER!

The sad thing is, I know a few guys who've actually had conversations like this. And did I mention how glad I am I never ever ever have to go back to high school?

Warning: audio only, but the language is pretty blue.

Stafoo???

Mark gets an obnoxious no-prize for bringing us even more reasons police have the hardest job in the world.

Mark gets a no-prize that'll be there for an hour for bringing us this look at the daily grind of checkpoint work. Now that the Mahdi militia is back on the march, something tells me things are quite so boring.

Houses do a lot of things well. Unfortunately boucing isn't one of them. The back-story is here.

Annie gets a no-prize she better not take over a bridge for bringing us this "redneck joke just waiting to happen."

Ok, it's no Caturday, but this Fark thread in celebration of the end of prohibition is still, as I'm wont to annoyingly say nowadays, "full of win." So sit back, relax, and read about just how much worse other people's drinking stories are than yours will ever be.

Actually, this reminds me of more folks than just Ron. Me? Oh hell, I'm too old for that crap nowadays.

You'd think by now people would learn not to give Robin Williams a microphone without a script. Then again, if they did, the world would most likely be a much stuffier place.

My house is like this whenever I try to make tomato sauce ahem... gravy. Except the guy with the crowbar is shorter, prettier, and, you know, a woman. Not that we're mentioning any names here!

Besides, Ellen swears a lot more than that.

Mark gets a no-prize that'll plead no-contest when it goes to trial for bringing us a rather colorful way of failing a sobriety test. You're doing it wrong!

Leave it to the French to mount a 75mm cannon on a Vespa scooter. Are those goofy little things really that good off-road?

Lesson #28 on How Not to Do a Remote: never try reporting from the bottom of a snow sled hill.

It's almost too good to be true, but I'm provisionally believing it, at least for now.

You knew it was only a matter of time before someone explained just what about Ashley Dupres was worth $5000. Hmf. I thought they were all blue-tooth enabled. How else does my wife knows where everything is?

I personally can think of no better use for a high-speed camera. Wait, what the hell am I saying? This would be the second best use of a high-speed camera. You all can guess at the first, but I will tell you it starts with a "b" and ends with an "oobs."

Another good laugh(s).

We received free tickets to the new D.C. Newseum from a very good friend that works there. If you have not heard about the Newseum, it is all on media. Yes, the news. Highly recommended visit for D.C.

Now, you get the opportunity to play "reporter" out on the streets for FREE! Yep, this one you do not have to pay for! So what did I do? I made Scott get up there with Olivia and "play reporter."

I think their actual mistake was opening their restaurant so close to campus:

The restaurant, which opened two weeks ago, sits south of campus at the intersection of State and Hill streets. Adorning the blue awning above the restaurant next to its name is an image of a cowgirl riding a hamburger.

The Stonewall Democrats, a lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender caucus of the University's College Democrats chapter, has taken offense with the restaurant's logo and recently began circulating a petition to sway the owners to change the logo.

I must be getting old. I can remember when it was just "Gay and Lesbian." The more names they add the less I take them seriously.

Comedian Eddie Izzard strikes again, this time with helpful Lego animation! His monologues on history bear a surprising resemblance to my own at times. Maybe I should put on lipstick and eyeshadow and go on stage?

Or, perhaps easier, learn how to, you know, actually be funny?

While I doubt these really are the ten most racist moments in TV, I did get a giggle. I especially liked the sports commentators who's urge to fill the air with anything finally bites them on the bum.

Those of you who wonder just what it would look like if you mixed the ridiculous earnest sincerity of a national politician with the loopy lunacy that only Japan can incarnate need wonder no more:

Foreign Minister Masahiko Komura appointed the cat an "anime ambassador," handing a human-sized Doraemon doll an official certificate at an inauguration ceremony, along with dozens of "dorayaki" red bean pancakes — his favorite dessert — piled on a huge plate.

No, really!

Turns out there may be something beer can't do after all:

After years of argument over the roles of factors like genius, sex and dumb luck, a new study shows that something entirely unexpected and considerably sudsier may be at play in determining the success or failure of scientists — beer.

Hey, at least it wasn't my tax dollars at work!

I'm not saying Ron's an anarchist bent on spreading murderous chaos for humor value, I'm... well, actually, I guess that is what I'm saying after all. We lurv him so.

That old codger with the chicken crap catapult? All it did was fling a bunch of fail. But he's vowed to try again, so who knows?

The reason people turn to a life of crime is because they're too stupid to do anything else:

Perhaps James Wombles thought he made a clean getaway when he reportedly committed multiple burglaries in Clark and Miami counties between December and January.

But authorities tracked the Montgomery County man down by following the GPS signals from his electronic monitoring bracelet. He has been in the Miami County Jail since his Jan. 22 arrest on charges of receiving stolen property.

Sometimes they act as a deterrent. Other times, they enable arrest.

Annie gets a no-prize that'll get out any stain for bringing us a story that really would be run if we were put in charge of the Church's laundry. Pink underwear... it's the new white!

Mike J gets a no-prize that'll slide all over the place for bringing us an example of just how far too much free time can go. The note about the difficulties of testing certain kinds of programs is interesting too.

Joshua is the proud recipient of the Ed Wood no-prize for Absolutely Worst Movie of 2007 for bringing us well, this. The best part is, these people will almost certainly end up on Conan or Kimmel over this. Hey, if it can happen to that Tron suit guy, it can happen to anyone!

Presenting HotChicksWithDoucheBags.com, your one-stop-shop for the dorkiest white guys on the planet who, somehow, still manage to at least get close to hot women. I was wondering which trends in the 'aughts would end up in the next VH1 "I love the..." specials. I don't wonder anymore.

I'm not completely sure what's up with everyone being so into zombies suddenly, but I still found & Teller amusing. I think it would've been better to see Penn wandering around in makeup, but he's probably too manic to make a really convincing zombie.

Leave it to the English to take the whole goth thing way too far. You know the story: pay taxes, stay out of trouble, keep off my lawn, none of my business.

I can still raise an eyebrow!

Alternate title: Junk, meet gate pole; gate pole, junk. I'm not completely sure it's real, it seems a bit too good to be true. I do know, however, that downhill skiers can top 60 mph, so one hopes a cup was part of his equipment. As it were.

While using a retired trebuchet to fling chicken poo at thieves is all well and good, I can't help but think there'd be an aiming problem. They were originally meant to knock down walls, which don't move around near as much as your average punk. The cannon sounds more promising, if only I knew exactly what a "railroad sleeper" was.

The fact that he'll likely get in deep trouble if he ever actually uses his defenses speaks volumes about what eleven years of Labor rule has done to Britain's vaunted self-reliance. There, but for the grace of God and a Democratic party too disorganized to accomplish anything they consider meaningful, go us.

Fark (of course) linked up "the worst shots ever created", a list which purports to contain the absolute worst shot drinks created by man. Looking at the list, I'd have a hard time disagreeing with them. The crap people will put down their throats in a bar at 2 am never ceases to amaze me.

Why use a laptop case when a pizza box will do? I've always tossed a towel over valuable stuff in my car. The wise owner of an old convertible will always have one or two in the car at all times.

Don't mess with the scales, young man, you'll get the teeth. Or, you know, something like that. With picture!

Cricket batter: 1, streaker: 0. Includes nekkid-buttage pic, so if that's NSFW you've been warned.

Presenting StuffWhitePeopleLike.com, a damned funny blog about a white guy picking apart his own preferences and preconceptions and, in the process, doing so for nearly every other white person I know. Particularly amusing to me was an observation that sounded eerily like this site's co-owner:

...what do white people like to do for lunch? The answer: expensive sandwiches.

In most cities, if you need to find a cache of white people get yourself to a sandwich shop. Generally these places aren’t open for dinner, have a panini press and are famous for their bread. There are always vegan options and the selection of meats and cheese are strongly European.
...
These sandwiches generally start at $8.99. Remember that whenever a white person says they wants to go to a sandwich shop you are looking at at least a $15 outlay after tip and drink, $20 if the place has a good selection of microbrews.

Via Violins and Starships, who makes the quite valid point that we may find this amusing more because of where we live than the color of our skin. I don't much care, the satire works just as well when you live in the correct area.

Everything old being, as always, new again, 80s perms are making a comeback. Fortunately, in the UK. Unfortunately, probably here soon enough.

If things end up timing correctly, Olivia will be raiding Nina's old high school clothes for her fashions.

Personally, I think if someone actually mistakes a re-skinned Fiero for one of Modena's finest, they deserve what they get. But that's just me.

Mark gets a no-prize he'll have to hide from the border patrol for bringing us yet another tasteless flash game. Those damned things move fast!

Personally, I think the effectiveness of this will be determined by the bait. However, I have a feeling the number of choices required for a catch would not be particularly large.

Sorta puts that whole "pizza boxes in the oven" thing in perspective, eh?

A 42-year-old borough woman was injured when what authorities called a stash of "homemade fireworks" stored inside her oven exploded.

So much for the quiet town.

Problem: Hajji, being the secretive sort he is, gradually learns to hide from your big, sophisticated robot airplanes.

Solution: Make tiny, simple robot airplanes that look like bugs and birds, enabling you to facilitate a meeting with Hajji and his 72 virgins in a quick and efficient manner.

New problem: Cats (and other things):

There are bats, birds and other insects out there that will find it a cinch to catch robot butterfly's, mechanical birds or even cyborg moths. It will be a long time until our artificial flyers will be anywhere near a match for Nature's airbourne hunter-killers.

I can definitely see the disappointment involved in creating a zillion dollar droid which ends up showing you nothing more than what the inside of a cat looks like. And boy wouldn't that be an interesting thing to scoop out of the litterbox?

Via Ares.

Update: Go for the edifying discussion. Stay for the Y duz fud buzz? video.

Mark gets a no-prize shaped like a starfish for bringing us a rather unique pencil sharpener. How Amber and Ellen managed to survive without one of these I'll never know.

Annie gets a no-prize that should never be brought anywhere near the water's edge for bringing us a remarkable set of "Murphy's Law" pictures, and an explanation of why the last one is just too good to be true. I thought the last one in the e-mail looked a little funny. Considering what actually happened, there really wasn't much of a need.

It's a unique collection indeed in which I have not seen a single one before. In other words, they're original, they're subversive, and they're fun. Don't just sit there, go look!

Via Instapundit.

Trillions of dollars and billions of man-hours to create, expand, and maintain the Internet, just to make sure we can see stuff like this. I love this country!

I'm sure Olivia will find this one at least a little funny. The trick is making sure Ellen doesn't run it completely into the ground, al-la "The Egg Song."

Joshua, I have found your next goofy movie. It woulda been Ron's too, but it wasn't animated enough and lacked tentacles.

Looks like things are heating up over on the West Coast again. Maybe tech stocks will return to save us all?

Mark gets a no-prize he just shouldn't look at for bringing us the real secret behind Google Maps. It's getting to the point Google is nearly as scary as Microsoft!

Resolved: If it explodes, moves fast or produces ridiculous amounts of torque, it's cool.

Seconded, passed unanimously. Now where's the fuse?

Via Violins and Starships.

Joshua gets a no-prize that throws out more jokes per second than Robin Williams on crack for introducing us to Ben Croshaw, the lord of Zero Punctuation.

Just go straight to the Super Mario review, then Guitar Hero III. You can thank me later.

And remember, he is Not. Gay!

Always remember one of the hallmarks of a spoiled brat is the ability to dish it out but not take it:

As six Republican senators devised a plan to yank $2.3 million in federal funding for Berkeley programs, the mayor of the famously liberal city apologized Wednesday for his hard stance against a Marine recruiting center.

Too bad these aren't actually six-year-olds, and they're running a city.

Being able to think more than three turns ahead is the mark of a grand master, in politics as much as chess. I'm not sure what sort of mark is made when someone doesn't even think of the consequences of the move their making right now.

Via Instapundit.

Mark gets a no-prize that probably shouldn't look like that for bringing us this collection of unique "look-a-likes". Nobody said duplicating someone at 1/8th scale was easy!

Have fun parsing this one. Then again, the perspective seems all wrong to me. Maybe it's just a goofy photoshop?

Via Violins and Starships.

Actually, it's not just mathematicians and physicists. Just about all my friends would be vulnerable to this sort of dastardly trick.

For whatever reason, I'm reminded of a scene out of the recent Dr. Who series. The Doctor gives and extremely elaborate and detailed explanation for why something that looks like a cross between a zombie and a bread machine is trying to gnaw everyone's face off. After two minutes, he stops for a bit, and everyone looks at his (cute, blond, female) companion. She says, "I find it's easier to just wait until he's out of breath and then nod a bit."

Ellen didn't stop laughing for five minutes. No idea why.

Look, people, If you can't bring it home don't f'ing bid for it on Ebay:

Hundreds of people in the poor Romanian town of Dragasani have grown rich by conning eBay online auction customers with deals that seem too good to be true - and often are.

The scammers have even put the new town hall up for sale on eBay, the mayor admitted last week. “I mean, who would want it?” he asked.

Bonus: the classic trailer-trash momma quote, "He's just a good boy who got mixed up with the wrong crowd." I wonder if it's more poetic in Romanian?

Like most illnesses, this one seems to be playing out in the very young, the very old, and the very stupid.

Welcome to the former Soviet Union, where all manner of things are possible. Possible, yes. Desirable, well, that's something else all together.

Although, truth be told, I recall seeing things nearly as goofy in and around the South while I was growing up. Most are now long gone, so I think it's as much a sign of poverty as it is cultural quirks.

"If own grandmother pulls plow in underwear... you might be from Russia."

The advantages of having a cute girlfriend with connections. We've heard Sarah on Stern more than once... she really is like this.

This is why, after more than 25 years, I only flirt with the Hi-fi hobby:

The Andromeda Reference, part of the Moon Evolution series, is Simaudio's flagship CD player. As such, it's a showcase for the company's latest and best technology, and they've gone all out in its execution. The double chassis is a perfect example. Sim began by separating the power supplies for the digital and analog sections, then designed each around an optimized, purpose-built toroidal transformer to minimize thermal, electrical, and magnetic leakage, and loaded them up with copious amounts of capacitor storage. Next, they shielded the transformers from the circuitry, and mechanically isolated the transformers and the circuit boards from each other and within the power-supply chassis. Then, to ensure that any residual power-supply noise was truly isolated from the audio signals, Sim put both supplies in their own chassis. The analog and digital power supplies each has its own umbilical to the CD-player chassis.

More than twelve thousand dollars later, and whaddaya got? 16 bits, 44.1khz sample rate, just like my $200 Emerson had in 1983. Just to add frosting to the lunacy, the reviewer starts comparing it all to vinyl. Because we all really know the true hi-fi benchmark was set in 1957, donchaknow?

Gah, I say, Gah!

No, really, a burger in a can. And he eated it! What will those silly Germans think of next?

Joshua gets a giant demon-shaped no-prize for bringing us this startling development regarding the Super Bowl half-time show. Don't feel bad, mom, if I hadn't watched all of Ellen's brothers play Guitar Hero over Christmas I wouldn't have any damned idea what they were talking about either. Pop culture inside jokes... gotta love 'em!

While I'm pretty sure the house of inveterate Cowboy's fan Ron didn't echo with screaming German, I bet something very like this went on in his head. I don't know just how many different ways this particular track can be mashed up, but this one was definitely a winner.

It would appear that, just sometimes, enthusiasm can be an antifreeze. Go for the goofy dog jumping in the snow. Stay for said goofy dog's "Bugs on his way to the beach" tunneling imitation.

That's right soap.

And I PAY people at work to eat cat food and cat treats. No wait, I make them get in the dryer too!

Ron and Amber, recently liberated from The Garden State, you may now start your flashbacks. The only time I've spent any significant time in NJ it was in the middle of winter, and I went nowhere near the club scene. Looks like it was win-win for ol' Scott!

Joshua gets a tragic yet informative no-prize for bringing us the Best. Photoshop. Tutorial. Evar! All four parts are great, although I think a few members of the peanut gallery will be in a huff after episode 2. Relax! Repeat to yourself... it's only a story... all fake, not real!

Sometimes they have problems telling the difference when it comes to... "p*ss factories."

Surprisingly, this vending machine is not available in Japan. You can get beer and used panties on streetcorners in Tokyo, but you have to come to LA to get your pot fix from an armored soda dispenser.

Brings a whole new meaning to, "fall down go boom."

A recent book I read discussed at some length how over time humanity seems to have genetically "bred out" its more violent traits. It would seem Western Europe's transformation from a seething hotbed of violence to the milquetoast of the developed world would bear this sort of thing out. I wonder if, by literally blowing themselves out of the gene pool, the Arab cultures will eventually tame themselves in just such a fashion?

Walt M. gets the Darth Vader Ultimate Armament no-prize for (in the comments) cluing us into a .50 caliber air gun. A 1/2" slug, pushed by air. Those damned chipmunks better watch the F- out, s'all I'm sayin'.

In the early 70s, even the trailer parks were supposed to be fabulously "mod". Luckily, free markets in the West made these popular but misguided attempts to "revolutionize" housing flop like the poorly planned utopias they were. The communist block wasn't so lucky, as the legions of critically-acclaimed Brutalist buildings with leaky roofs and lukewarm AC will attest.

Hard to imagine, but there are high school graduates who will not get one bit of this. Of course, high-tech in 1980 was even more classically silly. Who knows what'll be current when Olivia graduates high school?

Via Econlog.

Something tells me, if Ron and I were to somehow get incarnated into a video game, we wouldn't be two Strong and Quick Heroes^tm, we'd be these guys. It only got scary when one of them said "balls" in context.

Joshua's the only one of us who's actually played Portal. He'll most likely have the biggest laugh of all. At least until he comes around that corner. L-O-L.

Mark gets a no-prize that'll throw a rock at him if he gets on its lawn for bringing us a deeply unappreciated reminder of my upcoming 40th birthday. I normally say, "yeah, but you're catching up fast" to such jests, but Mark started out several leagues ahead in this particular race.

The status of various grammas Shall Not Be Mentioned.

Even though it's 78% soft-headed college lefties, I do still love the occasional conservative on Fark

Most people would find paying fifteen million dollars for a hamburger a sign that something's wrong. Most people, however, are not Robert Mugabe. When will it all end?

Guitar Hero, Blender. Blender, Hero. I've seen these blenders in the store occasionally. Trust me, you are definitely paying for the ability to blend anything.

Now now...we KNOW Ron is a wine drinker..but still, this is Ron.

All of our plans usually wrap up around 8 pm. The more risque friends and associates we have should most definitely get a laugh out of this one.

"Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OSes is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders."
--Unknown

Don't look at me, man. I do C#.

Annie gets a no-prize with a lop-sided background and a really bad haircut for bringing us this... historic... collection of department store photo studio products. I would imagine we all have such awful photos of ourselves stashed in a closet somewhere.

I know lots of guys who are white enough, but none that are rich enough. Wtf is "raw tea" anyway?

Well, what would happen if God had a MySpace page? There certainly seem to be a lot of users who could do with some retribution, s'all I'm sayin'.

Yeah, it's a little long, but does have some clever bits. I thought the various choices of computer were amusing.

Personally, I've never noticed any of these "obviously" gay ads. Then again, I'm well known for being about as quick on the uptake as Jamie Lynn Spears watching a condom ad. So what do I know?

Meh. Stay out of trouble, pay your taxes, keep off my lawn, and I officially cease to care. It's your product, market it as you please.

Article contains one vaguely NSFW ad.

Teenager + car + alcohol = busted + car. You balance the equation. His mom already did.

Mark gets a no-prize which will protest to its last for bringing us this look at how most gamers really act when they get banned from their favorite games.

Personally, anything that makes fun of Nazis in their darkest hour is fine by me.

I'm pretty sure this thing is supposed to be yet another perpetual motion machine. While it looks impressive enough, I think it's quite suspicious the video was shot in such a dark room. I also noted the lack of a more detailed examination of the thing's guts. In other words, just because I can't say how it was made doesn't mean the product isn't still a bottle of snake oil.

Triple negative! Woot!

Who says the law has to be stuffy? Makes up for all those reports about the judge and the penis pump.

Well, ok, not really. But still!

Fark had its (as far as I can tell) first-ever "headline of the year" contest this year, and the winners are just great. Showbiz was my favorite category, with politics a close second.

Hey, at least he's owning up to his mistake. Sort of, in that great, fizzy, "I'm-a-wack-but-I-meant-well" sort of way. That's the problem with prophesying the end of history. It just keeps happening anyway.

It's never too late for some Christmas carols. I didn't know Dunham could be that edgy.

Via Instapundit.

I'm not sure which is more impressive, that you can build a contraption this elaborate for a self-frag, or that someone would actually try to do it. Fun with physics models!

New Scientist has a year-end collection of the most spectacular science screw-ups of the year. Of course, there are still a few days left, so maybe we'll get more entries.