January 28, 2004
When Motorists Attack

I used to think the DC area had the worst drivers in the world, but now I'm beginning to agree with Lair that it's Houston that should be wearing the crown. It's a train people. Not a dog, not a pothole, not a Mexican, but a great big horn-honking multi-ton mass of metal and plastic. Some especially tasty bon-mots:

[Phillip] Brown, who used the drive-through Tuesday afternoon at Whitney bank near Fannin and Southmore, said he's worked in the area for more than 20 years and isn't used to trains coming down the street. He was surprised there's no standard railroad-crossing gate at the bank's driveway onto Fannin, only a sign that lights up when a train approaches and two yellow lights that blink.

Lighted sign, blinking yellow lights, and a huge mass of train not enough for ya? Here's your sign.

Transit officials say nothing could have prevented Tuesday's crash. Not only did [driver] Quyen Lu ignore two "no left turn" signs, said Metro Police Chief Tom Lambert, he failed to yield while making the turn and drove straight into the train's path.

Obviously it's not just Congressmen who think rules are things that apply to other people.

[Donna] Bright said simply assuming all drivers will pay proper attention to the new transit mode is presumptuous.

I mean, why should anyone pay attention to something that could squash them flatter than Kate Hudson's chest? Don't make me pay attention! I'm trying to get somewhere!

I shoulda entered ATS's dead pool with a list that read "Houston Driver vs. Metro Train #1, Houston Driver vs. Metro Train #2..."

I don't know why I'm so surprised. My dad used to live in Houston, and he said simple rainstorms were terrifying, ice storms apocalyptic. SUVs and motorcycles in particular seem to regularly launch themselves from the city's 100-foot-high overpasses like shiny catapult stones. Lair often writes about walking to work, and sometimes I'm afraid he'll get splatted like a Monty Python Holy Grail extra by one of these oil-rich fundie retards trying to see if they can actually drive to heaven.

Duck Laurence! Duck!

Posted by scott at January 28, 2004 12:30 PM

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About 2 weeks ago some idiot decided to gun it from a driveway and I managed to deflect a glancing blow off of the hood.

If I had brought my guns with me that day, I'd have revoked his birth certificate and driver's license on the spot.

Posted by: Laurence Simon on January 28, 2004 08:31 PM
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