Keep in mind kiddies, if you want to get your jollies off in public:

• DO: go at it like bunnies. This is no time to play porn star.
• DON'T: Use the Holiest of Holies in all Texas-dom* as your trysting spot:

A man and woman landed in jail after witnesses told police they were seen having sex inside the [Alamo] Sunday.

They tossed Ozzie completely out of San Antonio, and he just peed on the thing.

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* Having lived near Texas for twenty-five of my past thirty-[mumble] years, I do have to say that the Alamo does actually rank higher than Texas Stadium. But only during the off season.