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Talking Malibu Barbie's Fate is Sealed
Slashdot linked up this site detailing the efforts of a programming company to hack its new mascot, "Talking Bob the Builder."
Cue wavy-screen dream effect. Ah, I can see it now...
SCENE: A playground on a sunny fall day. A small group of girls approximately seven years old are playing with dolls.
Suzie: "My Malibu Stacy has the car and everything."
Girls (together): "Oooooo"
Marcy: "That's so cool! My Superstar Ken can drive her to a restaraunt in it!"
Dana: "And then they can all visit my new Barbie Salon and get a makeover!"
Girls (together): "Ahhhhh"
Suzie: "Isn't that the new Talking Malibu Barbie?!? Wow Olivia! What can she say?"
Olivia, a small, pretty, but rather quiet child dressed very darkly, stands a tall lace-dressed doll on the ground and turns it to Malibu Stacy, then presses a button.
Talking Malibu Barbie: "DEAD BY DAWN!!! DEAD BY DAWN!!!"
Malibu Stacy falls to the ground as Olivia turns the doll toward Superstar Ken.
Talking Malibu Barbie: "SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!!! SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!!!"
Later. Interior of kitchen. A low, wide shot of a sobbing Suzie holding her Malibu Stacy by one arm. A woman enters the frame from the left.
Mom: "You've been playing with the Johnson girl again, haven't you?"
you won't do it. Cool idea, but you won't do it. You'll get used to the idea of playing with barbies and little girlie toys.... you will because you have to. It would break your daughter's heart to have you mess with her barbies.
Dude, I used to torch my sister's barbies. Literally. With a blowtorch, we melted them into little piles of charred hair and melted plastic. Had a ball doing it, too.... Now I can't even joke about it. Ashley gets this look like "You couldn't do that to ME, though Daddy" and says something to the effect of "THIS from the guy who used to melt his sister's barbies!"
*sigh* how far we've come......
Posted by: Jim S on August 8, 2003 03:31 PMLol at Jim S! I just hope I am still around the first time someone's old hairy legged boy comes around to take her out in his father's car.ROTFLMAOPIMP
Posted by: Pat on August 8, 2003 07:04 PM