July 27, 2002
Lemur FAQ

A lemur, for those who might not know, is a small primitive primate. You can find lots of cute pictures of them here.

Some time in the late 80s or early 90s, a "newsgroup" got started called "alt.fan.lemur". A newsgroup was what socially-impaired people used to talk to each other before blogs were invented1. Why lemurs? God only knows. They're kinda cool in a geeky sort of way I guess.

As time would march on, a newsgroup would slowly build up a body of knowledge, eventually distilled into a "FAQ". Short for "Frequently Asked Questions", some, like the talk.origins FAQ, became, and in some cases remain, invaluable overviews of whatever field of knowledge they happen to cover. The easiest way to become an expert on anything was to read the FAQ of the newsgroup that covered your topic of choice.

But then sometimes people got a little silly. Well, people got a lot silly, and more than a little weird. If you like Monty Python, or think Black Adder is a hoot, you will absolutely wet your pants at the alt.fan.lemur FAQ. Pick part one, and read away. An excerpt:

(7) Who is Rudolpho the Christmas Lemur?

Rudolpho the Christmas Lemur is said to have stowed away on Santa's sleigh during a stopover in Madagascar one Christmas. Upon finding the hapless Lemur shivering in the back of the sleigh after returning to the North Pole, Santa named him "Rudolpho" and adopted him into the North Pole community. Rudolpho aided Santa for a few Christmases, sneaking into houses and opening the chimney flues when required so Santa could get in. Eventually, though, Rudolpho yielded to a kleptomaniac urge and began stealing silverware... and jugs of Big K Grape Soda. Santa reluctantly discharged him on the spot, but Rudolpho has continued his irregular service nonetheless, breaking into houses and stealing the Big K Grape Soda and opening any chimney flues that need to be opened. If he should happen to be discovered, he flees by shaking up a bottle of Big K Grape Soda, opening it, and jetting off over the horizon. (If he gets thirsty in mid-flight he pulls a loop, fills a cup, and continues onwards.)

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Posted by scott at July 27, 2002 06:25 PM

eMail this entry!

Oh, but I AM socially impaired.... trust me!

Posted by: Jim S on July 29, 2002 01:15 AM
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