Most everyone has heard the term "bejesus", as in "you just scared the bejesus outta me!" Yeah, I know, it's probably new to you, but that's because you don't get out much. Anyway, ever wonder what that word actually meant? Well, ok, I don't care if you've never wondered, because you're going to go visit Bejesus Quarterly anyway, if nothing else for the definitions:

Bejesus - (n) A substance found in the human body that determines how close one is to becoming Jesus.

I wonder what the die-hard aethiest section of the peanut gallery will think when they find they "got Jesus" after all!