James H. gets a cheesy no-prize for bringing us yet another in the long line of "too stupid to do anything else" crime stories:

Steven T. Denton, 32 ... was taken into custody following a fracas at the Dockside Lounge on Sombrero Boulevard.

"Denton told me that if I would drive him to McDonald's, he would buy me two cheeseburgers if I let him go and did not take him to jail," reported Deputy Mark Eastty of the Monroe County Sheriff's Office.

Alcohol was, unsurprisingly, involved.