Well, except for the "I *heart* Republicans" T-shirt we bought you months ago, you'll also get this:

Bong Spirit Imported Vodka is a designer spirit beverage envisioned by a group of contemporary artists to fuse together a new wave of progressive fashion and designer attitude with an age-old Dutch product of exceptional quality.

"Contemporary artists" is to "smelly pot-smoking hippies" as "compassionate conservatives" is to "wild-eyed Christian fanatics with suits on." Meh... he'll drink it all the same. And so will we!

Hey, as long as it's not grapefruit-flavored, at least everyone will keep their clothes on!