June 07, 2006
No Ellen, You Can't Have One

Thing is, she actually does want some:

Few people like to get on the scale -- but their reluctance is nothing, compared to a handful of tortoises at the Phoenix Zoo.
One of those reptiles was so heavy, nine adults struggled to carry it to and from the scale. It weighed in at 649 pounds.

Galapagos and Aldabra tortoises, to be exact. Galapagos have a reputation for being quite affectionate and fun (well, for a turtle anyway), but having a quarter-ton pet to take care of really pushes things.

So I'm afraid Ellen will just have to settle for Om, who by all accounts will end up being about the size of a beach ball and the weight of a spare tire. Beats the hell out of a dog, far as I'm concerned.

Posted by scott at June 07, 2006 08:39 AM

eMail this entry!

Wait - dogs are useful. With proper motivation, you could train a dog to bring you beer, slippers, and they're affectionate, they'll guard the house (well, at Pongo's age guarding means sleeping in front of the door some someone trips over them...), etc. And they don't tend to cause the same messes that cats cause.

However, if you tried to train your turtle to bring you the beer, it's gonna be a tad bit warm (not to mention that you'll be thirsty) by the time it gets there.

And face it, dogs, unlike cats, aren't looking at you and plotting your demise...

Posted by: ron on June 7, 2006 08:58 AM

Speaking of pets with shells, how are the hermit crabs doing?

Posted by: Tatterdemalian on June 7, 2006 09:30 AM

I think two (out of, IIRC, eight) have gone to the Great Tree in the Sky. The rest seem to be doing fine. One seems to have become something of a nudist... he wanders around occasionally without his shell. At first we thought he was on his way out too, but he crawled back in after some minutes and kept going. Done it a few times now. *shrug*

Re: "cats don't cause the same messes"... emphasis being on "same". Tortoises, when properly housed, don't cause ANY, which is the ultimate goal here.

Posted by: scott on June 7, 2006 12:15 PM

Your nudist is probably looking for a larger shell, Scott...

Posted by: Kathy K on June 7, 2006 12:37 PM

Their tank is covered in them, all different sizes. Must be a really picky crab.

Posted by: scott on June 7, 2006 12:46 PM

Ron, your dog craps in the house all the time.

Posted by: ellen on June 7, 2006 12:47 PM

To be fair to Pongo, he's roughly 105 years old, mostly deaf and going blind, and arthrytic, to boot. If I make it that age, I'll be happy if I can still hold it most of the time. And he does manage to control himself most of the time.

However, for the vast majority of his life, he's had no real problem with the crapping in the house. Nor the peeing. He's occasionally eaten a wall, but that's due to him having his cave changed on him without any permission.

And Scott - if you think the turtle will always be properly housed, apparently you've been drinking too much and not listening to Ellen and Amber talk. Soon, my friend, soon Om will be leaving you presents on the floor. Nice, slippery, stinky ones.

Posted by: ronaprhys on June 7, 2006 04:33 PM

Ron, he still shit on my floor, and pees on yours..and poops on yours :)

Posted by: ellen on June 7, 2006 08:15 PM

Again, he's old. Real old. In dog years, he could've fought in WWI, had kids that fought in WWII, Korea, grandkids in Viet Nam, and great grand kids in Desert Storm and Enduring Freedom. Hell, had he had an aggressive set of kids, hell, he could have had children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren, and great-great-great-grandchildren. Cut him some slack, eh?

A dog, at this point (with a modicum of training) would give you years and years of poop and pee-free living.

Posted by: ronaprhys on June 7, 2006 08:22 PM

It could be that all the shells that are big enough for the "streaker" have rough edges inside that he doesn't like. Or maybe he's the low crab in the picking order, and the other crabs keep stealing his shell every time he settles in.

Posted by: Tatterdemalian on June 7, 2006 11:52 PM

Ron, your dog took a shit on my floor when he came in from just using the outside. The way he moves is like a giant tortoise.:)

Posted by: Ellen on June 8, 2006 06:55 AM

Yes, he did. Which was actually pretty amusing. At least to me. However, he didn't always move like a tortoise and crap on your floor (or mine). Until recently, I think he did that roughly 6-7 times in his life. And he would run everywhere, jump around, go hiking with me, etc. So, while he's closer now to what your tortoise would be like, I still submit that I'd rather have a dog than a tortoise.

Posted by: ronaprhys on June 8, 2006 08:33 AM

Oh no, I will be telling Amber all about this. :)

Posted by: ellen on June 8, 2006 08:52 AM
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