Archives

March 19, 2014
January 12, 2014
Cat analasys

Captain obvious in the vet clinic: Cats think people are just bigger cats with better food. People also provide a warm space to be a flying maniac at 3 am when they're young, and a convenient place to puke when they're old.

Posted by scott at 09:24 AM eMail this entry!
December 17, 2013
I Can Haz Doh-mess-tikashun?

A new archeological site in central China has provided tantalizing new clues about the domestication of cats. It seems the little monsters have been peeing on walls, crapping on floors, and puking on furniture for a very long time indeed.

Posted by scott at 07:18 AM eMail this entry!
December 04, 2013
Movin' Out

Posted by scott at 09:21 AM eMail this entry!
November 07, 2013
Oh, Great. Now They're Learning to Talk

Posted by scott at 11:57 AM eMail this entry!
November 01, 2013
Guilty Little Monsters

Posted by scott at 10:52 AM eMail this entry!
October 10, 2013
ZOMG!!

Posted by scott at 09:05 AM eMail this entry!
Truth!

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Posted by scott at 06:29 AM eMail this entry!
September 18, 2013
Mah Jeans, Let Me Show U Them

Scientists have confirmed what cat owners have long suspected: If it looks like a house cat, acts like a house cat, and is viscous like a house cat... And if any of my house cats weighed 300+ lbs, I'd keep them in a cage, too.

Posted by scott at 06:36 AM eMail this entry!
August 26, 2013
Just Better Watch the F- Out

Posted by scott at 09:30 AM eMail this entry!
August 09, 2013
Whadfuq?

Posted by scott at 07:07 AM eMail this entry!
July 10, 2013
Cat Crazy

Another year, another attempt by Fuller Torrey to scare you about cats. He's been trying to prove a link between mental illness and cats for at least twenty years now, and keeps coming up empty. As noted the last time around, your cat may in fact be making you crazy, but it has nothing to do with its poop.

Posted by scott at 06:37 AM eMail this entry!
June 28, 2013
I Haz a Feerss!

Posted by scott at 10:27 AM eMail this entry!
June 19, 2013
I R Rownd, Fuzzy Clowd

Posted by scott at 10:35 AM eMail this entry!
I Can Haz Linux?

A robotics lab has announced the creation of a low-cost robot that runs like a cat. The military has been fiddling with something like this for a year or two, as I recall, but they've ended up with something big and scary that no doubt costs more than your house. This thing looks to be far less expensive. Hopefully they'll get rid of the tether soon.

Posted by scott at 06:34 AM eMail this entry!
May 13, 2013
Dis Fud Moov Funny

Posted by scott at 10:55 AM eMail this entry!
May 10, 2013
Thunderthud

Posted by scott at 08:29 AM eMail this entry!
March 12, 2013
And Fud Sez, "Wuf Wuf"

My wife's head exploding with candy in 3... 2... 1...

Posted by scott at 02:47 PM eMail this entry!
March 06, 2013
Yes. Yes, they can...

Posted by scott at 12:33 PM eMail this entry!
March 02, 2013
Your Thought for the Day

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Posted by scott at 03:20 PM eMail this entry!
February 12, 2013
I Can Haz Helper Goggie?

In today's "if it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid" file, we have helper dogs for cheetahs. It seems that, with the right dog, even the least-sociable cheetah can prosper in captivity. Proof that cats are cats are cats: "The dog always has the cat's back, but it's never the other way around. Dogs worry about their cats. They protect their cats."

Posted by scott at 01:07 PM eMail this entry!
January 31, 2013
Y Duz Fudz Chays Me?

Posted by scott at 12:28 PM eMail this entry!
January 29, 2013
I Can Haz Homisidal Rampaij?

Today's bit of sensationalism is... [spins the Wheel o' DOOOM!!!] ... the menace that is the domestic cat. It's my experience that when a new study's conclusions are "startling" or "unexpected," that usually means there's a problem with the study, not the subject. That, or the people sponsoring it are selling something. In this case, I'm pretty sure it's a healthy dollop of both.

Posted by scott at 03:43 PM eMail this entry!
January 09, 2013
I Can Haz Tyme And Reluhtiv Deemenshuns?

Too late for Christmas, but maybe next year: a DIY cat tower/TARDIS replica. Yet another thing that would take up space we don't have in our house. Plus nowadays Ellen would be at least as likely to turn it into a bird cage.

Posted by scott at 06:15 AM eMail this entry!
December 01, 2012
But Will it Make Them Crap Rainbows?

Just in time for Christmas: inflatable unicorn horns for cats. Because when I think of gentle, magical, horse-like creatures, the first thing that comes to mind is a cat.

Posted by scott at 07:59 AM eMail this entry!
November 30, 2012
Why You Should Always Keep Cats Indoors

Posted by scott at 12:11 PM eMail this entry!
November 21, 2012
Jump!

Posted by scott at 12:27 PM eMail this entry!
When Stupid Attacks

So, what happens when an ad company gets a clever idea for using cats in a commercial? If you picked "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE," come down and collect your prize. Considering the level of sophistication typically found in youtube comments, I'm surprised they only found three who completely fell for it.

Posted by scott at 07:20 AM eMail this entry!
November 08, 2012
Y Iz Top of Fud Pink?

She wasn't trying to hurt the little girl, she was just trying to figure out if the little girl was tasty. I love the sense of scale, of just how big the damned things are. I also like how every single cat owner in the world knows exactly what is going through that thing's head. A cat is a cat is cat, and the only reason the cats in my house are safe is because they weigh less than 10 pounds.

Posted by scott at 08:17 PM eMail this entry!
September 12, 2012
I Can Haz Riches?

When dogs are involved, the meme is "humiliate my dog." When cats are involved? Not quite the same result. I didn't find the pictures all that funny because around here, we call that "Tuesday."

Update: link fixed!

Posted by scott at 07:27 AM eMail this entry!
August 22, 2012
The More You Know...

Ok, everyone, you can all breathe a sigh of relief: it seems cats do not in fact cause brain cancer. They'll puke on your chairs, pee on your walls, and poop on your floors, but they won't give you cancer. What a relief!

Posted by scott at 12:48 PM eMail this entry!
August 15, 2012
Well, Raining Just Cats Then

Of course, Ellen would consider this a feature...

Posted by scott at 12:31 PM eMail this entry!
August 08, 2012
Bad Kitty!

Strap a camera on a house cat and turn it loose in the neighborhood and what happens? Mayhem, I tell you, pure mayhem. Yet another reason why ours have always been pure indoor cats.

Posted by scott at 07:54 AM eMail this entry!
August 03, 2012
Fun with Fosters

This was our next-to-last (so far) set of fosters. 7 at once! About half have found homes.

Posted by scott at 04:07 PM eMail this entry!
July 26, 2012
The Wees!!!

My kittens and the broom!
Posted by Ellen at 08:26 PM eMail this entry!
July 11, 2012
Oh Hai!

Darned cats mess everything up. Ellen would've stopped the broadcast immediately and brought the hapless thing home with her.

Posted by scott at 11:48 AM eMail this entry!
Fun with Kittens

Like the article says: forget Sundance, this is the film festival you should really pay attention to. I especially like the one with the apples.

Posted by scott at 08:55 AM eMail this entry!
July 07, 2012
Cats and Toxoplamosis

This is *always* a concern with clients of ours. Wash your hands, wash your food, be careful in the yard and 9 times out 10, you will be fine. Hygiene, Hygiene, Hygiene! Fullertorrey, back in the day when Scott worked for some mental illness advocacy- was a prominent figure on this idea. Except he said it causes schizophrenia. Until the studies are out that every one with mental illness is tested for toxo- you can only look at them as a theory, not a fact. Yet.

Read the article Is My Cat Driving Me Crazy?

Posted by Ellen at 06:58 PM eMail this entry!
Li'l Bub

How can anyone not like this cat?

Posted by Ellen at 09:09 AM eMail this entry!
July 05, 2012
What Can Possibly Go Wrong?

And now, a heartwarming tale of a girl and her pet lynx. No, Ellen, you emphatically can't have one. I don't trust house cats to stay cool in all situations, and they must weigh a fraction of what this thing weighs. I mean, I'm happy they've rescued him and all, so I guess ultimately all I can say is "good luck!"

Posted by scott at 08:23 AM eMail this entry!
June 27, 2012
Kittehs Vs. Vacuum

Posted by Ellen at 07:23 PM eMail this entry!
It Hates Guitar!

A cat tweaks a guitar (supposedly) during the recent earthquake in Australia. I dunno about this one. When we had our Virginia earthquake last year everyone hauled ass out of the building.

Posted by scott at 08:02 AM eMail this entry!
June 23, 2012
When Evil Attacks

Posted by scott at 03:24 PM eMail this entry!
June 20, 2012
I Can Haz Cheep?

I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a cat that's adopted a baby bird. Our remaining cat is too fat, old, and lazy to be much of a threat to any bird, so I actually find this pretty likely.

Posted by scott at 06:18 AM eMail this entry!
June 18, 2012
An Addiction I Am Way Too Familiar With!

Yes, I admit it. I kitten huff.

Kitten huffing is a controversial practice that has recently been growing as a popular alternative to street drugs. Despite a long history in Western culture, the practice remains largely taboo. Excessive huffing has been known to produce undesirable side effects, and kitten-related human fatalities. Even unapologetically frequent huffers caution against using more than two or three kittens per day.
Posted by Ellen at 07:30 PM eMail this entry!
June 14, 2012
Mrrrow!

Recent biological surveys are indicating cougars are repopulating areas in central North America. It seems they're permanently set up as far as Texas / Ontario, with one individual being found all the way on the East Coast. The scientists go out of their way to assure everyone that cougars are shy and retiring, but I've read enough accounts (and observed the behavior of their much smaller cousins) to think otherwise. Ah, well. At least now Amber will have an alibi if Ron ever disappears after going out for a walk in the woods.

No, Ellen, you can't have one.

Posted by scott at 10:36 AM eMail this entry!
June 13, 2012
I Haz a Tired

Posted by scott at 08:19 AM eMail this entry!
June 04, 2012
I Know... I Can't Have One.

So when cat Orville, named after the famous aviator Orville Wright, was run over by a car, his artist owner decided to turn him into a permanent piece of artwork as the ultimate tribute by transforming him into a flying helicopter.

Dutch artist Bart Jansen first stuffed Orville before teaming up with radio control helicopter flyer Arjen Beltman to build a specially-designed flying mechanism to attach to the cat.

Complete with photos and a video!

Posted by Ellen at 06:26 PM eMail this entry!
May 23, 2012
Kitty No!

It's in the newspaper, so it has to be true: after the earthquake in Turkey last year, Turkish cats have become suicidal. I dunno, man, maybe it's just that they live in Turkey? Or, even more plausible, the earthquake damaged buildings and a whole host of precarious but serviceable paths through the cities no longer work, and the only way to find out is to fail at them. Or they're just depressed. You pick.

Posted by scott at 01:11 PM eMail this entry!
April 29, 2012
Our First Foster Baby of 2012

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We call him "Mr. Sparkle Pants". Nothing about his hind end sparkles. Ever.

Posted by Ellen at 07:39 PM eMail this entry!
April 27, 2012
Fun with Simon

Ellen's long forgotten what it's really like to have kittens old enough to cause genuine trouble. Fortunately, I have a good memory.

Posted by scott at 08:43 AM eMail this entry!
April 18, 2012
Wild Cats- The Homeless Domestics of Washington DC

A friend of mine made her thesis on the stray cats of DC!

This short documentary examines the effects of feral cat overpopulation on the local community of Washington, D.C. Growing numbers of homeless cats nationwide have led to the existence of outdoor cat colonies, many of which are fed by area residents. Over 300 feral colonies are monitored by the Washington Humane Society in the District of Columbia alone. Feral cats’ excellent hunting abilities have put pressure on native and migratory bird populations, and their exponential reproduction has overwhelmed local adoption centers. The efficiency of current Trap-Neuter-Release (TNR) programs, which aim to sterilize the cats, has been debated as a viable method of curbing population growth.

Many drastically different solutions have been proposed, though all parties agree on one idea- feral cats should not exist. Whether we choose to protect or eliminate these animals humanely, it is first the responsibility of the pet owner to have cats spayed/neutered and kept indoors.

See the film.

Posted by Ellen at 03:05 PM eMail this entry!
April 03, 2012
I Can Haz Print Teknahlojee?

No wonder Kodak is in trouble! They spent all their money figuring out how to print out cats! Fortunately it's only available at kiosks now. I'm in big trouble whenever the home version arrives. Well, I won't be, but Ellen will.

Yes, we're late. I had to go find it myself!

Posted by scott at 09:20 AM eMail this entry!
March 31, 2012
I Got Yer Moon Landing Hoax Right Here, Bub
Posted by scott at 06:47 PM eMail this entry!
March 21, 2012
Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Posted by scott at 11:38 AM eMail this entry!
March 04, 2012
We Know Where Teddy Reincarnated To

If you all do not remember, Teddy used to jump through a hoop.

We still miss that cat.

Posted by Ellen at 09:28 PM eMail this entry!
The Foodz Iz Mine!!

Posted by Ellen at 09:14 PM eMail this entry!
February 28, 2012
Your Thought for the Day

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Posted by scott at 02:53 PM eMail this entry!
Lefty Island: Not Yours

A complex and multi-year effort to rid the California Channel Island of San Nicolas of cats has been declared a success. Since this is the "budget? What's a budget?" state of California and the "we lose more money than that on toilet seats" US Navy, you can bet it was the most eco-sensitive, cat-friendly round up in history. They could've paid Ellen a quarter of their budget and she'd have them all in homes within six months. No, I'm not kidding.

Posted by scott at 01:13 PM eMail this entry!
February 25, 2012
Sometimes They're Nice

Posted by scott at 08:40 AM eMail this entry!
February 17, 2012
Ten Years Ago at AMCGLTD

The first, but by far not the last, of our hard-luck kittens was first discussed on the site. We still have a picture of this one on our wall.

Posted by scott at 06:47 AM eMail this entry!
February 11, 2012
Crazy Is

Another year, another attempt to link your cat exposing you to toxoplasmosis with giving you schizophrenia. Ellen's been a veterinary technician for about eighteen years now, ten of them in a cat-only hospital. She handles more cats in a day than you or I will in probably ten years, or more. She still tests negative for exposure to "toxo." Fuller Torrey has been trying to link mental illness with toxo exposure for as long as I've known about him (nearly twenty years), and has failed to find anything convincing.

In other words, your cats may in fact be making you nuts, but it's not due to some scary-secret bug you've caught from them.

Via Instapundit.

Posted by scott at 04:24 PM eMail this entry!
Rags To Riches Feline Style

Then the judges chose their top 10, which included Tank and several of his catmates at The Oregon Cat Project. When it came down to the top two cats, the judge hesitated, then awarded Tank with the blue ribbon, announcing, "This is my best household cat in show."

"My eyes welled up with tears as they gave him his 1st place ribbon – here was a real Cinderella story for all cats" says Tank's rescuer, Dana Lionel, founder of The Oregon Cat Project.

Read entire article here.

Posted by Ellen at 08:38 AM eMail this entry!
February 10, 2012
A Web Site, for Me

Presenting Sh*t My Pets Ruined, a one-stop-shop to remind me that I'm not the only ungrateful husband who thinks things like clean carpets and couches with no puke on them are important. At least one day my kid has the potential to support me. Of course, the site originated from Sh*t My Kids Ruined, so it's not like kids are any better.

Posted by scott at 01:33 PM eMail this entry!
January 30, 2012
I Shall Call It, "Robopetter"

After all this time, we finally have a way for Mark to pet cats without allergy meds on board. Back in the day, all 5 of ours would do the "WTF?!?" bob-and-weave and then knock it over. Nowadays the one that's left would likely just go "meh." The birds may take some issue with this idea, though.

Posted by scott at 03:10 PM eMail this entry!
January 22, 2012
Thank You! We Will Be Here All Week!

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Posted by Ellen at 06:34 PM eMail this entry!
December 31, 2011
Head.Explode(Candy);

Olivia found this one!

Posted by scott at 05:38 PM eMail this entry!
December 26, 2011
Meow...*BOOT*

Posted by Ellen at 07:15 PM eMail this entry!
December 24, 2011
Your Thought for the Holiday
Posted by scott at 09:27 AM eMail this entry!
December 22, 2011
Traveling Swaps

Most, well... all, cats are not worth their weight in gold. Our sole remaining cat is not worth 3/4ths her weight in gold. Yet someone is still willing to trade Cats4Gold. I would believe they could crap, puke, and pee their own weight in gold, probably in just a month or two.

Then there's a cat who survived a 200 mile trip under the hood of a car. It nearly ended up in Cleveland. What a save!

Posted by scott at 03:04 PM eMail this entry!
December 13, 2011
I Can Haz Slurp?

Scientists have completed yet another study on how cats drink. I could've sworn NOVA or some discovery show figured just this out years ago. At any rate, according to the article it was all done for free, so it's not like tax dollars were used or anything. Meanwhile, on the same campus, they've got a camera capable of visualizing the movement of light.

Posted by scott at 02:43 PM eMail this entry!
November 29, 2011
I Can Haz Nanny State?

That mayor Bloomberg, always on the lookout for other people's health. A natural outcome of giving distant bureaucrats power to "look out for us" is the disappearance of harmless, even charming, exceptions to the rule. Any rule. Their rule.

Posted by scott at 07:30 AM eMail this entry!
November 11, 2011
Cobra Cat Gonna Git U

Ellen says she sees cats at her clinic do this all the time. I tell her I see belly dancers do that at shows all the time. She thought about it, then nodded.

Posted by scott at 05:20 PM eMail this entry!
November 06, 2011
*pOOf!*

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Posted by Ellen at 09:37 PM eMail this entry!
October 22, 2011
Maine Coon Baby Madness!

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This weekend I was asked to help bottle raise 5 of the SaraJen Maine Coons.

All we can say here at AMCGLTD.... they are HUGE!!! 2x's as big as a "plain cat". But adorable non the less!

Posted by Ellen at 07:53 PM eMail this entry!
October 18, 2011
Opens Da Door!!

One reason why you should not have a doggy door on your back door in Colorado.

Cougars(not the elderly women who feed off of young men)visit!

Posted by Ellen at 06:43 PM eMail this entry!
September 29, 2011
Your Thought Of The Day

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Posted by Ellen at 08:16 PM eMail this entry!
September 28, 2011
Double Head Bumps!

OMG! Double the head bumps!

CNN Image A 12-year-old cat in Massachusetts is making history just for being alive. Guinness World Records has declared him the oldest living two-faced cat, according to CNN. His name is Frank and Louie, and he's a Janus cat, named after the Roman god with two faces.

Read the article and SEE the picture!

You can see a video in this article!

Posted by Ellen at 07:32 PM eMail this entry!
September 26, 2011
I Shall Smooch You Sharp Kitteh Nails And All!

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One of our 7. He went to his new home this past weekend.

Posted by Ellen at 09:59 PM eMail this entry!
September 12, 2011
Weer In Ur House, Under Teh Black Lite

Another day, another genetically engineered critter that can glow. According to the article this is the first successful application of this technique in a carnivore. Making "teh kitteh" glow not only may help medicine in humans, but may also help find a cure for that other immune system scourge, FIV.

Posted by scott at 04:06 PM eMail this entry!
September 08, 2011
Noah, Great Kitteh of The Flood

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A young lady brought this little guy into work to me this evening! We thought kitteh season was over! Apparently not! He was found under a car cover soaking wet. His eyes are just starting to open.

We normally do not name kittens so soon, but we had to give the picture a title and Noah seemed appropriate since VA is literally underwater.

Posted by Ellen at 10:03 PM eMail this entry!
September 06, 2011
Why For Box Make Erfqwaik?

I tend to agree: this is not a cat being a bully, this is a bunch of youngish cats being goobers. I imagine Ellen sees things like this at the clinic all the time. She just doesn't have time to video tape it.

Via Instapundit.

Posted by scott at 03:08 PM eMail this entry!
August 17, 2011
Goodnight Coconut

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March 27, 1997-August 17, 2011

The "C" to AMCGLTD has decided to pass on after a year long battle with cancer. We love you very much Coconut. We will never forget that you were our "first" baby from start to finish. It was a privilege to be able to wake you up when you were born and then help you go back to sleep. Mommy loves you.

Posted by Ellen at 08:29 PM eMail this entry!
August 14, 2011
Say It Ain't So!!

A baby Meercat born out of wedlock!

Posted by Ellen at 07:31 PM eMail this entry!
August 04, 2011
Your Thought for the Day

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Posted by scott at 10:18 PM eMail this entry!
July 28, 2011
Teh Beatz, We Haz Dem

Posted by scott at 09:52 PM eMail this entry!
Weer On Ur Ship, Trainin' teh L33t

Sure, it's a few months old, but if you don't smile at least a little at this story of sailors rescuing stowaway kittens, you need help. Bonus: enough cute pix of "teh kittehs" with their sheepish rescuers to make Ellen's head explode twice.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, "L33t" translates as "elite."

Posted by scott at 10:07 AM eMail this entry!
July 15, 2011
I Wonder What's Up There?

At first I felt bad for kitteh, but he kept coming back for more (cat is wrong, but otherwise fine). Ours are too fat, old, and lazy for stunts like this anymore. Our experience fostering kittens reminded us just how much energy a cat "can has."

Posted by scott at 05:07 PM eMail this entry!
June 22, 2011
Bark! Bark! Bar...MEOW!! MEOW!!

A cat who want to be a dog?

Posted by Ellen at 06:24 PM eMail this entry!
June 17, 2011
I Has Not A PMS!!!- part deux

cute baby animals - Acting Like Animals: The Meaning of 'NO'
see more Daily Squee
Posted by Ellen at 10:19 PM eMail this entry!
I Can A Tissue...*SNIFF*

CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa – A community came together to grant a homeless man his last wish.

That dying wish was to see his dog one more time.

It was a simple request, but one that meant the world to him in his final days.

Read entire sappy story, grab some tissues and watch the movie.

Posted by Ellen at 09:46 PM eMail this entry!
June 16, 2011
Wishin' Fer Teh Noms

And this, folks, is why zoos have switched to glass instead of iron bars. It also proves young lions aren't much brighter than young house cats. Personally, I'm surprised the lion didn't spin around and pee on the glass when it figured out the tasty treat in Keds was permanently out of reach.

Posted by scott at 02:07 PM eMail this entry!
June 14, 2011
I Can Haz Dee-Duck-Shun?

A new decision from a U.S. Tax Court may have far-reaching consequences for volunteers who wish to deduct un-reimbursed expenses. The impetus for the decision involved a single woman's attempt to deduct expenses for the 70 feral cats she helped foster for a "fix-and-release" program in California. In other words, crazy cat lady: 1, IRS: 0!

Posted by scott at 12:18 PM eMail this entry!
June 08, 2011
I Can Haz Street Korner?

I guess, if highly motivated, kitties can learn thing like the shell game. Ours would just sit and stare pitifully at Ellen until she buckled and gave them a treat anyway.

Posted by scott at 07:06 AM eMail this entry!
June 05, 2011
Om and Jilly Boo

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It took Om over 1/2 hours to make it to the inside of the kennel!

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Posted by Ellen at 09:48 PM eMail this entry!
Twwwppptt!!!

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Thanks J-Boo. :P

Posted by Ellen at 09:41 PM eMail this entry!
Buddah Says...

cute baby animals - Now Repeat the Heart Sutra After Me
see more Daily Squee
Posted by Ellen at 09:39 PM eMail this entry!
June 02, 2011
Olivia and Jilly Boo

Posted by Ellen at 09:36 PM eMail this entry!
May 30, 2011
Sleepy Jilly Boo

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Jilly Boo fast asleep on Olivia's bed!

Posted by Ellen at 07:11 PM eMail this entry!
May 25, 2011
Yer Garage: I Haz It

What a California man thought was a raccoon rooting around in his garage actually turned out to be a mountain lion. Kitty's fine, zapped him & woke him up in a remote forest. No, Ellen, you can't have one.

Posted by scott at 03:51 PM eMail this entry!
May 10, 2011
I'm Going To Love And Hug...

Her owner said Ginger loves to play with the ducklings and they follow her everywhere. "She's supposed to be out hunting ducks and retrieving them after people shoot them or whatever," said owner Michelle French, "And you see she's never going to do that, hopefully."

Can I get an awwwwww!

Posted by Ellen at 06:27 AM eMail this entry!
May 09, 2011
Moooooommm!!!!!!

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One of our foster babies right now.

Posted by Ellen at 08:03 PM eMail this entry!
May 06, 2011
I Can Haz Ice Age?

Introducing the Manul, one of two, and the only surviving, known species of ancient cats. I'm pretty sure these things aren't ancestral to the fuzzy puke balls that walk around my house, but definitely cousins of some sort.

Posted by scott at 06:57 AM eMail this entry!
May 05, 2011
Kitteh In Slo-Mo!

Posted by Ellen at 05:42 PM eMail this entry!
May 02, 2011
YAWWWNN!!!!

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One of our foster babies right now. She is 4 days old. We call her "Booper #1" since they cannot be named for another week. It is bad luck if you name them early.

Posted by Ellen at 08:08 PM eMail this entry!
April 14, 2011
Why Ellen Can't Have a Land Rover

And now, a tiger hanging his head out of a land rover. Something tells me the upholstery in that car won't last very long. Or smell very good.

Posted by scott at 06:34 AM eMail this entry!
April 11, 2011
Catlanta!

"They" are your garden-variety mix of urban dwellers in Atlanta, from students and artists to young professionals and housewives. For them, it's about the thrill of the chase. Plus, the reward is kind of too cute to resist: a small, metallic gold magnet in the shape of a cat, emblazoned with a heart and the artist's moniker.

"For me, the appeal is the social aspect and that it's interactive. You don't just view the work in a gallery; you have to actually go outside and try to find the artwork," Long said. "It's kind of like a game. I like the idea of the scavenger hunt, going out there to beat others before they find it. It's just fun."

Read then entire delightful article on street art here.

Posted by Ellen at 08:54 PM eMail this entry!
April 09, 2011
Hee!!

funny pictures - That noise was just you singing in the shower? What a relief.
Posted by Ellen at 06:23 AM eMail this entry!
March 27, 2011
Happy 14th Birthday Coconut!

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The "C" of AMCGLTD is getting old! Coco now spends her days chillin' on the couch, snuggling on bathrobes, drinking water from tumblers and will still chase the occasional ribbon. We don't know how much longer we will have her since she has a huge tumor in her lungs. We just take it day by day and are still very grateful to have her around.

We <3 you Buddha Baby!

Posted by Ellen at 10:15 AM eMail this entry!
March 26, 2011
Cats Are Just Better!
Posted by Ellen at 11:03 AM eMail this entry!
March 22, 2011
Cat Static

Goblin and her balloon trick!

Posted by Ellen at 08:49 PM eMail this entry!
February 28, 2011
I Can Haz Dignitee Fail?

I don't want to know how long it took them to set this up, but I'm glad they did. Kitteh loves the tiny, shiny, green mouse because its tastiness is legendary. Kitteh hates the big stack of cups because it scares us, and hates us, and hides the precious from us.

Sorry, metaphor collision...

Posted by scott at 08:01 PM eMail this entry!
Scientist: I Haz One

Captain obvious in the lab: A new study concludes cats "adore, manipulate women." They also, "stain, stink up" houses.

Posted by scott at 06:57 AM eMail this entry!
February 23, 2011
Paging Ke$ha, White Courtesy Phone Please

Kitty likes the metronome!

Posted by scott at 06:19 AM eMail this entry!
February 20, 2011
Your Thought for the Day
Posted by scott at 06:50 PM eMail this entry!
February 01, 2011
Stupid People Upset Over The Right Thing

"I couldn't believe someone took my cat and got him fixed. I don't know why they would do that," Curtis told Bay of Plenty Times newspaper in an article Thursday. "It really was quite bizarre. I mean, who just takes someone's cat and gets them neutered?"

Obviously you were not meant to breed this cat. Especially if it is a Siamese-Bengal Cross. NO SUCH BREED ASS WIPE! It's called a MOGGIE! A Mix! Not a pedigree.

Dumb ass.

Posted by Ellen at 07:59 PM eMail this entry!
January 30, 2011
Mewonight Madness!

Posted by olivia at 08:19 AM eMail this entry!
January 23, 2011
I Can Haz Next Die Hard Lead?

Robert H. gets a no-prize that'll crap on his floor, pee on his walls, and puke on his couch for bringing us "6 Cats More Badass Than You." It's actually one of the best-written Cracked countdowns I've read in quite some time.

Posted by scott at 07:05 PM eMail this entry!
BackAsswards Utah At It Again

If you live in Utah, you might want to keep a shorter leash on your pet. A new bill (H.B. 210) sponsored by Republican Representative Curt Oda (R-Clearfield) would legalize "the humane shooting or killing of an animal if the person doing the shooting or killing has a reasonable belief that the animal is a feral animal."

Proof that a state is lazy. Well it's a Mormon state, what do you expect? They need more room to pop kids out of their clown car crotches, and for the state to pay their needs instead of setting up easy Trap/Neuter/Return programs.

To them just get a gun and make it open season on feral animals.

But again, it actually smiled when I saw this.

Posted by Ellen at 07:54 AM eMail this entry!
January 13, 2011
Oh Look. Me As A Cat.
Posted by Ellen at 07:35 PM eMail this entry!
January 08, 2011
Humperdink Does Not Like Fake Farts

Our clinic cat. He was not amused.

Posted by Ellen at 08:24 PM eMail this entry!
December 27, 2010
What Is Food For...

Cops say two cats died and others starved while they were left to fend for themselves with their litter boxes overflowing. Another 12 cats had to be euthanized. Bozzio blamed it on a caretaker who hadn't tended to the animals while she was gone for a week, but a judge ruled that the conditions were in place for quite some time.

Somehow I don't believe her.

Posted by Ellen at 09:30 PM eMail this entry!
Scaredy Cat

After years of trying, scientists have successfully photographed the elusive Sahara cheetah. The environment it lives in is so extreme, and the cat so crafty, even eight-day expeditions have not succeeded in directly observing the beast.

Posted by scott at 06:35 AM eMail this entry!
December 23, 2010
Pressies!!

Posted by Ellen at 06:07 AM eMail this entry!
December 07, 2010
Humphrey and The Broccoli

One of our clinic cats, Sir Humphrey Winston III. He thinks he is a person.

Posted by Ellen at 06:59 AM eMail this entry!
November 22, 2010
A Cat Goes Into A Bar...
Posted by Ellen at 07:06 AM eMail this entry!
November 12, 2010
DOITAGAIN!!! DOITAGAIN!!!

So, let me channel Amber here for a second... *ahem* (shake the arms a bit, a twist of the neck, flip the hair) You're tossing your pussy! You're tossing your pussy! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! (Completely SFW).

Ok, those who know Ellen's actual life partner will understand. The rest of you, well, let's just say you only thought Ellen was singular in her "crazy-cat-lady-to-be" obsession.

Posted by scott at 09:20 PM eMail this entry!
Haz Roomba, Will Travelz

So, for all those folks who've either forgotten that those insane little fuzzballs known as, "kittens" really do have an "off" switch, or for those who never knew, we now have video proof. I especially like how they just sort of roll off one by one, and then get scooted around by the thing. I guess these things are quite a bit less terrifying than your garden variety vacuum cleaner.

Posted by scott at 06:43 PM eMail this entry!
I Can Haz Flooid D-eye-namiks?

By using high-speed photography and way too much spare time, scientists have worked out how cats manage to drink without getting their faces wet. I could've sworn I saw something very similar to this on Nova or some other documentary show years ago. Discovery springs eternal, I guess.

Posted by scott at 06:58 AM eMail this entry!
November 02, 2010
And Cue The Angry Parrot People Comments!

Posted by Ellen at 06:59 AM eMail this entry!
November 01, 2010
The Day After
Posted by Ellen at 07:13 AM eMail this entry!
October 28, 2010
Bonne Nuit Mon Chat De Noir

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Our "M" to the AMCGLTD passed away peacefully at 5:15 AM this morning after a several month struggle with lymphoma.

Goodnight Magrat, we love you. 14 years went by too fast.

Posted by Ellen at 05:36 AM eMail this entry!
October 26, 2010
So... Much... Win...

I'm sorry, but I have a cat on a washing machine, therefore your argument is invalid.

Hey, it's no worse than what Pelosi pulls out of her... ok, hang on, I really didn't want to go there, did I?

Posted by scott at 06:37 PM eMail this entry!
For Amber

Here is your single sock explanation!

Posted by Ellen at 05:48 AM eMail this entry!
October 21, 2010
I Can Haz Rekkerd?

Meet Stewie, who, at 48.5 inches, is officially the longest domestic cat in the world. Maine Coons are impressively huge house cats, but this one's nearly as long as A Gramma is tall. I bet shedding season is spectacular.

Posted by scott at 06:42 AM eMail this entry!
October 19, 2010
Can Ellen and Amber Make a Sound So Loud it Shatters Windows in YOUR House? Let's Find Out

Posted by scott at 08:04 PM eMail this entry!
October 14, 2010
Yes, There is a Forum For Everything.
Posted by Ellen at 09:44 PM eMail this entry!
October 12, 2010
Kitteh Sez Wha?

Scientists have for the first time observed real physical changes in the brain that would explain why people who lose one sense, like hearing, compensate by strengthening the others. I'd like to think the cats in this experiment were allowed to live a long, fulfilling life and weren't dissected when the grant ran out. Who knows? I may be right.

Posted by scott at 06:39 AM eMail this entry!
October 11, 2010
I Can Haz Rescue?

A 9 month-old kitten is your typical 9-month old kitten and gets his self stuck in a damned dangerous place. The result? a disassembled truck and a reporter with a softball to beat his deadline. Kitty is fine, too.

Posted by scott at 06:23 PM eMail this entry!
October 09, 2010
Speaking of Musical Animals...

Tatterdemalian gets a no-prize with a big band and a bunch of very white singers for bringing us yet another take on 'ye olde trololololo". Or, you know, something like that. My grandmother Johnson was into Lawrence Welk, as I recall. I never really got the point. Not all that sure I was supposed to.

Posted by scott at 11:05 AM eMail this entry!
October 08, 2010
Awweee...
Posted by Ellen at 09:11 PM eMail this entry!
September 30, 2010
Your Daily Cute
Posted by Ellen at 06:38 AM eMail this entry!
September 24, 2010
What's Your Diagnosis?

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A real case from work on Wednesday.
Posted by Ellen at 02:15 AM eMail this entry!
September 22, 2010
I Can Haz Tasty Friend?

Today's "head explodes with candy" moment is brought to you by a lion, and a meerkat. Hopefully the little guy will figure out his giant friend can be dangerous before anything gets too far out of hand.

Posted by scott at 06:21 AM eMail this entry!
September 18, 2010
New Set of Little Ones

This time, we have six.

Posted by scott at 07:45 AM eMail this entry!
September 17, 2010
Bottle Noms!!!

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One of SIX babies this time around!

Posted by Ellen at 07:32 PM eMail this entry!
September 15, 2010
Puurrr...SQUEAK!!

Posted by Ellen at 10:15 PM eMail this entry!
September 05, 2010
~ One of These Things is Not Like the Others ~

Today's "animal adopts cat" story is brought to you by an Indonesian national park. I bet that monkey won't be so happy when that cat pukes on his floor!

Posted by scott at 09:42 AM eMail this entry!
September 03, 2010
I Can Haz Librarian?

And now, an orangutan babysitting lion cubs. Heh... I told you when Ellen's and Amber's heads explode with candy at the same time it'd make an impressive noise!

Posted by scott at 06:34 AM eMail this entry!
September 02, 2010
This Is My Work
Posted by Ellen at 06:29 AM eMail this entry!
August 27, 2010
Fetch Agent T!

Our foster baby, Agent "T".

Posted by Ellen at 09:31 PM eMail this entry!
August 24, 2010
Cat Tossed Out

Speaking of issues...

This woman needs to toss her own fat ass out.

Posted by Ellen at 07:01 AM eMail this entry!
August 13, 2010
I Can Haz Clip Show?

And now, cats being complete goobers. That whole "elegance, grace, and style" thing? Yeah, once you've actually owned cats you realize it's a front for pratfalls, pranks, and screwups. They meant to do that.

Posted by scott at 07:58 PM eMail this entry!
August 10, 2010
He Said True Love Max!

Posted by Ellen at 10:40 PM eMail this entry!
August 05, 2010
Got Nip?

Turns out most big cats really do seem to like catnip. By body language, they really do seem like scaled-up house cats. That said, I wouldn't trust any of my fuzzy little puke balls if they weighed 300 pounds.

Posted by scott at 06:21 AM eMail this entry!
August 02, 2010
I Can Haz LRM-20 Packs?

Jeff gets a no-prize that'll work well as long as the heat is kept down for bringing us what happens when a Mechwarrior fan has too many boxes, cats, and time on his hands. I especially like how he mounted controls in it, topped with fuzzy toys.

Posted by scott at 07:11 PM eMail this entry!
July 28, 2010
007 Cat
Posted by Ellen at 09:25 PM eMail this entry!
July 25, 2010
Praize BeJeeebus!!
Posted by Ellen at 04:52 PM eMail this entry!
Of Fur and Vagabond

It is not in the nature of cats, at least in the case of the platoon of strays we have adopted in our travels around the world, to freight themselves with speculations about their fortune in finding human refuge. From the get-go, Scuzzi behaved as if he knew how blessed we — as much as he — were by his turn towards our verandah when all other hope for him was gone.

A very sweet story.

Posted by Ellen at 03:25 PM eMail this entry!
July 21, 2010
Prickly Love!

Posted by Ellen at 09:44 PM eMail this entry!
SQUEE!!!!!!
Posted by Ellen at 09:30 PM eMail this entry!
July 18, 2010
I Swear They Do Have Jet Packs
Posted by Ellen at 09:09 AM eMail this entry!
July 15, 2010
Faces In The Window!
Posted by Ellen at 06:55 AM eMail this entry!
July 12, 2010
Agent T and His Drink

agentTdrunk.jpg

Posted by Ellen at 09:18 PM eMail this entry!
The "C" Of AMCGLTD

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Posted by Ellen at 08:48 PM eMail this entry!
July 08, 2010
*Waving At My Eyes! Waving At My Eyes!*

>/div>
Posted by Ellen at 08:04 PM eMail this entry!
July 07, 2010
The Lost Cat Poster

This is a reason why you do not fool around with you design team! LOL!

Posted by Ellen at 06:00 PM eMail this entry!
July 02, 2010
Me and Scott In A Nutshell
Cat Earmuffs!

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I wear them year round!

Posted by Ellen at 04:46 PM eMail this entry!
July 01, 2010
OH NOES!!!!
Posted by Ellen at 09:20 PM eMail this entry!
June 26, 2010
I Can Haz teh Technologee?

Annie gets a no-prize that moves so fast it's always being shown in slow motion for bringing us news of what is possibly the world's first bionic cat. Around here, that'd just mean he'd poop on the floor a lot faster.

Posted by scott at 06:47 AM eMail this entry!
June 22, 2010
Ride On Lil' Tortie

I can totally see this happening at my house!

Posted by Ellen at 08:25 PM eMail this entry!
June 11, 2010
Best Cake EVAR!!

funny food photos - Rainbow Laser Kitty WINS
see more
Posted by Ellen at 06:54 AM eMail this entry!
Epic Cuteness!!
Posted by Ellen at 06:15 AM eMail this entry!
June 03, 2010
Meow Don't Feel So Good...

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Send good thoughts for Curly! He's not feeling so well. *duh*

Oh the IV catheter? Yes, my handy work :)

Posted by Ellen at 09:41 PM eMail this entry!
MeOw!

Amazing! Listen to the ENTIRE meow!

Thanks to Joshua for a very MeOw! link! NO-Prize for you!

Posted by Ellen at 09:31 PM eMail this entry!
June 01, 2010
*Hint Hint NINA!*
Posted by Ellen at 09:56 PM eMail this entry!
May 31, 2010
My Kind of Weed!
Posted by Ellen at 10:57 AM eMail this entry!
May 27, 2010
Paging Dead or Alive, White Courtesy Phone Please

I've always known cats are so evil you can't kill them with a stick. Now I have proof! Exactly how the little monster managed to survive seems to be a genuine mystery. Nice to hear it all turned out well. You know, in the wash...

Posted by scott at 06:39 AM eMail this entry!
May 14, 2010
BEAR!
Posted by Ellen at 06:15 AM eMail this entry!
May 11, 2010
Ellen will Literally Laugh Out Loud When She Sees This
Posted by scott at 10:31 PM eMail this entry!
May 10, 2010
Magrat...Is That You?
Posted by Ellen at 10:25 PM eMail this entry!
May 07, 2010
Ima GIT U!!!

Me, I'd hit the little monster with something heavy. Ellen's dealt with awful cats for most of fifteen years, and she doesn't quite know what to make of it. It'd be NICE to think the other cat was trying to stop the madness. Me, I'm thinking he was just trying to steer it all onto something more valuable.

Posted by scott at 10:39 PM eMail this entry!
May 03, 2010
P---- Goes Where?!?

I think even Ellen would draw the line at marrying a cat. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? She'd be worried she couldn't marry enough of them.

Posted by scott at 08:27 PM eMail this entry!
May 01, 2010
Awww....
Posted by Ellen at 09:46 AM eMail this entry!
April 30, 2010
Neko Curry!

Posted by Ellen at 06:58 PM eMail this entry!
April 21, 2010
It's All Well and Good...

... until the fuzzy little monster bats it off the table!

Via Violins and Starships.

Posted by scott at 07:08 AM eMail this entry!
April 20, 2010
I Would NEVER Use These!

Cute Kawaii Stuff - Kawaii crayons
see more

Cat crayons!? WANT!

Posted by Ellen at 10:41 PM eMail this entry!
April 19, 2010
Your Thought for the Day

The only difference with ours is that they'd choose a different "portal" to shoot the lasers.

Posted by scott at 06:35 AM eMail this entry!
April 15, 2010
WANT!!! But I Was Told NO! WANT!

I would totally feed this cat.

Posted by Ellen at 09:05 PM eMail this entry!
NO NO! No Biscut For You!

A list of items that you should never give to your pets.

This year we had 2 cats with lily poisoning over the Easter holiday. Both went into sudden kidney failure that required nearly a week in hospital on IV fluids. Both still have elevated kidney levels.

Posted by Ellen at 07:02 AM eMail this entry!
April 08, 2010
ZZzzzZZZzzzzZZZZzzzzz.....

We all need one.

Excuse me while I put a cat on my head.

Posted by Ellen at 09:57 PM eMail this entry!
In The Milano...We Adopted Extra.
Posted by Ellen at 09:52 PM eMail this entry!
April 05, 2010
I Can Haz EMT?

Annie gets a no-prize that almost certainly left some dents in someone's car for bringing us an update on the "wandering serval of Leesburg." Kitty definitely made it to the vet, but there's no word if he'll walk out of the place under his own power.

Posted by scott at 06:07 PM eMail this entry!
April 03, 2010
I Can Haz Capture?

Annie gets a no-prize that'll leave an impressive pile in the litter box for bringing us news of a great escape. This one better not show up in my living room.

Posted by scott at 06:45 AM eMail this entry!
March 25, 2010
My Wife's Attitude, in a Cat Poster
Posted by scott at 04:20 PM eMail this entry!
March 16, 2010
Magrat, Let Me Show You Her...

funny pictures of cats with captions

Well, this would be more like "back in the day." She's pretty much a retired nasty kitty nowadays. And, really, it would only be when Amber was around.

Posted by scott at 09:18 PM eMail this entry!
March 15, 2010
I Can Haz Going Down?

Of course, for that to work with my bunch, it would mean they'd have to burn a calorie or two. Not happening. And no, Ellen, you can't have one.

Posted by scott at 01:52 PM eMail this entry!
February 26, 2010
Phone Insurance, FTW!

The last time we had to worry about something something like this, the "in" phone was a cordless standard. Ajax became so adept at "answering" our phone we had to put a special message explaining why we suddenly weren't answering it. Nowadays ours are too fat, old, and lazy to be much of a threat to electronics. The bird, on the other hand...

Posted by scott at 04:50 PM eMail this entry!
February 23, 2010
I Can Haz Immigrant Song?

Mike J. gets a no-prize who's only goal is the western shore for bringing us an innovative, and pricey, cardboard scratch post for cats. Our cats being who they are, I think they'd end up playing with the box and ignoring the boat.

Posted by scott at 11:17 AM eMail this entry!
February 19, 2010
A Hat Full of Cute

I defy you to frown through each and every one of these videos. That sound you hear? Ellen's and Amber's heads exploding in cat cuteness. Several times.

Me? Pretty little puke machines, far as I'm concerned. My story, sticking to it...

Posted by scott at 09:47 PM eMail this entry!
February 18, 2010
I Can Haz Apocalypse Prediction?

Cats and squirrels, sleeping together!!! Anyone who knows kittens can tell they are emphatically not cuddling. Judging by the expression "kitteh" is wearing, a face nom is imminent.

Posted by scott at 06:26 AM eMail this entry!
February 12, 2010
Olivia and Wilson

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My helper at work today :)
Posted by Ellen at 06:58 PM eMail this entry!
February 07, 2010
I Need To Purchse One!

I don't have Kit Cat Clock!

One is purchased every 3 minutes! WOW!

Posted by Ellen at 02:23 PM eMail this entry!
February 06, 2010
Your Thought for the Day
Posted by scott at 04:50 PM eMail this entry!
February 03, 2010
I Can Haz Scythe?

Looks like the "death cat's" streak is up to 50 and counting. I could see ours doing something like this. If, you know, they saw a chance to puke on you while they were at it.

Posted by scott at 11:23 AM eMail this entry!
February 02, 2010
Coverup

Mike J. gets a discreetly covered no-prize for bringing us the latest in cat box accessories. If I thought it would improve the chances of one of our bunch to actually use the box, I'd buy three.

Posted by scott at 06:33 AM eMail this entry!
January 30, 2010
Your Thought for the Day

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Posted by scott at 04:50 PM eMail this entry!
January 24, 2010
No Mixing Colors and Whites

My house...

Posted by Ellen at 08:51 PM eMail this entry!
January 22, 2010
Weer In Ur Spider Hole...
Posted by scott at 06:22 PM eMail this entry!
January 13, 2010
How To...

How to gift wrap a cat.

Posted by Ellen at 06:32 AM eMail this entry!
January 10, 2010
Daily WIN!

Posted by Ellen at 11:18 AM eMail this entry!
January 09, 2010
I Can Haz Anti-Freeze?

A cat found literally frozen stiff has apparently been revived and is on its way to recovery. Best of all, it'll find its way back to its home as well.

Posted by scott at 07:28 AM eMail this entry!
January 06, 2010
Living Mewowwwey

"He's a sweet old guy, and he's been through a lot," said Brian Pressman, 33, who received the cat as a birthday present during middle school. "But no matter how weak he seems or how many times he's diagnosed with something fatal, he just keeps bouncing back. Every single time."

Added Pressman, with a sigh, "He sure is a persistent one."

Its' a JOKE people!

Posted by Ellen at 07:01 AM eMail this entry!
December 23, 2009
Xmas Laser Beam Cats!

Posted by Ellen at 07:20 AM eMail this entry!
December 16, 2009
Some People Are Just Sick...

I am glad this jack ass got sentenced.

Posted by Ellen at 06:56 AM eMail this entry!
December 11, 2009
Cricket 2009

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My little buddy at work.

Posted by Ellen at 04:55 PM eMail this entry!
December 07, 2009
For This, I Kill You in Your Sleep

Pat gets a cranky no-prize for bringing us news that, "there are no good pictures of cats in wigs." Experts on the species will not be surprised the person setting out to fix this is from Texas. Natives will be even less surprised that she lives in Ft. Worth.

Posted by scott at 09:33 AM eMail this entry!
December 04, 2009
Determination: I Haz It

Nothing like the manic energy of a 3 month old kitten. One of these days we'll end up with ones that aren't so fat, old, and lazy. How the bird handles it all will be interesting.

Posted by scott at 06:59 AM eMail this entry!
December 02, 2009
Weer In Ur 70s...

... gankin' ur furneetyoor. Mike J. gets a no-prize with a leisure suit on for bringing us this cat-sized blast from the past.

Posted by scott at 06:43 AM eMail this entry!
December 01, 2009
WEE!!!!

Posted by Ellen at 09:34 PM eMail this entry!
November 27, 2009
I Can Haz Arky-Tect?

I'm actually a little surprised it's taken this long for another cat-centered house design to surface. Another? Yes, Ellen's got a whole book dedicated to people who completely re-made their houses to make it more convenient for their cats. And once I get over my leftover turkey-induced tryptophan coma, I might try to find it.

Via Instapundit.

Posted by scott at 03:53 PM eMail this entry!
November 25, 2009
Your Thought for the Day

funny pictures of cats with captions

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Sorry, Amber, Magrat escaped long ago and was not able to be in this shot.

Posted by scott at 04:41 PM eMail this entry!
November 19, 2009
I Keel U in Ur Sleep

Posted by scott at 10:04 PM eMail this entry!
November 18, 2009
Weer In Ur Pooter, Thinkin' Thots...

IBM has recently announced they have successfully simulated a significant part of a cat's brain. Which means to me they've spent billions of dollars to teach a machine which can calculate the behavior of an interstellar space craft in its spare time how to puke on the couch, pee on the wall, and poop on the floor. Ain't science grand?

Update: Linkee now workee.

Posted by scott at 07:09 PM eMail this entry!
November 10, 2009
In Or Out Maru!

Posted by Ellen at 08:18 PM eMail this entry!
November 07, 2009
Mai Friend, Let Me Show You Him...

Ok, I gotziz him... u get remote!
Posted by scott at 05:35 PM eMail this entry!
October 29, 2009
JR

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My current cat I am cat-sitting. I've been watching him for 4 years now :) His sister...lives under the bed.

Posted by Ellen at 09:11 PM eMail this entry!
*BOOT*

Now, all of us, we'll see that the cat was butt-wiggling and the guy was actually trying to keep an eye out for the pounce. Who wants to bet Ellen and Amber don't see it that way? If stunts like that actually hurt kitties, there'd be a lot more business in Ellen's clinic.

Posted by scott at 05:28 PM eMail this entry!
October 24, 2009
I Have Clients That Order These

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Posted by Ellen at 08:18 AM eMail this entry!
Hide And Go Seek Gone Bad

"They used a bucket truck with a cherry picker but once they got him down he took off, just ran away," said Scribbles' owner, Mike Shin.

My hero!

Posted by Ellen at 08:05 AM eMail this entry!
October 23, 2009
30 Is A Good Number

Caterack, the kitty who kept owner Alisa Morris company the past 30 years, died on Thursday.

Goodnight Kitty.

Posted by Ellen at 09:30 PM eMail this entry!
October 22, 2009
*Gag*

A next-door neighbor said the family was nice, but kept to themselves.

YIKES!

And I thought MY house was messy!

Posted by Ellen at 06:22 AM eMail this entry!
October 20, 2009
Closer... Closer...

Nowdoitagain!!!

Posted by scott at 03:09 PM eMail this entry!
October 19, 2009
Tiny Nom

Pat gets a tasty but puzzling no-prize for bringing us these very large pictures of an equally very large leopard trying to figure out wtf to do with a rat eating its lunch. Eventually either the rat will wise up or the leopard will figure out how to play with it. For a little while.

Posted by scott at 09:02 AM eMail this entry!
October 18, 2009
Wet Cat And A Gun

funny pictures of cats with captions
Posted by Ellen at 03:21 PM eMail this entry!
October 14, 2009
Fire? I Don't Care.

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Another Alley Cat Allies NJ pier cat.
Posted by Ellen at 09:56 PM eMail this entry!
Boo.

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Posted by Ellen at 09:31 PM eMail this entry!
October 13, 2009
Got To Get My Daily Dose of Cat

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Posted by Ellen at 03:36 PM eMail this entry!
You Don't See Me

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Posted by Ellen at 03:33 PM eMail this entry!
The Smell of the Sea...The Sand in My Fur...

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No matter where I go...I find cats!:) These are the beach cats of the Taj Mahal pier. All have igloos to live in, food and toys.. sweet!

Posted by Ellen at 03:31 PM eMail this entry!
October 08, 2009
Bosun

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Posted by Ellen at 08:04 PM eMail this entry!
October 07, 2009
Mah Brains...
Posted by Ellen at 06:23 AM eMail this entry!
October 02, 2009
Mai Wife, Let Me Show You Her

funny pictures of cats with captions

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Well, that's on the weekends, at any rate. Luckily, I have the Morning Wakeup Call of Doom, aka Swoozie. La Parrotte' tolerates Not Flock (i.e., me and Olivia) downstairs in the morning, but when I go upstairs to brush my teeth, that's Swoozie cue to start shattering windows with her peeps, trying to find Mom Burd. Ellen, so surly a bear would take notes, obligingly comes downstairs for animal husbandry.

Posted by scott at 08:29 PM eMail this entry!
October 01, 2009
This Is Me and Amber
Posted by Ellen at 09:37 PM eMail this entry!
September 30, 2009
That Is One Old Cat!

She wasn't kidding. The indoor cat, who Morris says is now 30 years old, lives a simple life with her owner and her husband, Jim Wesbrooks, in a three-bedroom house in Midlothian, Texas. Though she can't hear very well and only has vision in her right eye, Caterack is still mobile, though sometimes shaky on her feet, and enjoys life to the fullest — and likely could be among the oldest housecats in the world.

Can I get an AWWWWW!!

Posted by Ellen at 06:10 PM eMail this entry!
September 29, 2009
Rawr!

What better way to start a Tuesday than some nifty tiger pictures? This is what my bunch dream they are at night. Well, right after they puke on the couch, anyway.

Posted by scott at 06:27 AM eMail this entry!
September 17, 2009
Not The Face!

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Posted by Ellen at 06:12 PM eMail this entry!
I Think I Love You

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Posted by Ellen at 06:10 PM eMail this entry!
September 13, 2009
Your Thought for the Day
Posted by scott at 09:13 PM eMail this entry!
*Sigh*

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Is it over yet?

Posted by Ellen at 08:28 PM eMail this entry!
Purr Ball

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Birmese.

Posted by Ellen at 08:26 PM eMail this entry!
Adopt Me

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Rescue Me.

Posted by Ellen at 08:24 PM eMail this entry!
Theres A Cat In There Somewhere

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White Persian.

Posted by Ellen at 08:21 PM eMail this entry!
I Pick You

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From the National Cat Show this weekend.

Posted by Ellen at 08:18 PM eMail this entry!
September 09, 2009
A Hole For Maru

Posted by Ellen at 07:11 AM eMail this entry!
September 08, 2009
Jameson

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Of the SaraJen Maine Coons.

Posted by Ellen at 08:52 PM eMail this entry!
PET ME!!!

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Zebe. The only cat I know that hisses when she wants to be petted.

Posted by Ellen at 08:49 PM eMail this entry!
Ahhh....Right There!

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Zebe and Darin
Posted by Ellen at 08:11 PM eMail this entry!
September 05, 2009
I Can Has An Up?

Posted by Ellen at 10:29 PM eMail this entry!
Because I Feel Like Making Ellen and Amber Cry...
Posted by scott at 09:48 PM eMail this entry!
September 04, 2009
What is WRONG With People!!!

"It's horribly tragic and a miracle the cat is even alive and has such a great attitude still through all of that," said Sarah Hayeds, CEO of the Monroe County Humane Association, to WISH TV-8.

People are mean.

Someone find this person and shoot them in the head.

Posted by Ellen at 06:59 AM eMail this entry!
September 01, 2009
M*%W!!

"He can say seven words all up: mum, no, now, what, f**k, prick and why.

Someone get a bar of soap to wash his mouth out with!

Posted by Ellen at 06:43 AM eMail this entry!
August 29, 2009
In Honor of a Certain Someone...

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Someone partied a little too hard last night. Well, ok, a lot too hard. And for once it wasn't me!

Posted by scott at 12:40 PM eMail this entry!
August 28, 2009
Can I Get an Awww... Conversion Can Be A *GOOD* Thing!

They die often and—frequently—brutally, from disease and neglect, from attacks by predators like foxes and coyotes, from target practice by kids or hunters, or from the bites of rabid raccoons. They get hit by cars or, in the worst cases, waste away from starvation and exposure. When their numbers grow—few are spayed or neutered—they often are shot. Some of the softer farmers put heat lamps in their barns or let their barn cats into basements and mudrooms on subzero nights. Most don't.

So SWEET!

Posted by Ellen at 06:13 PM eMail this entry!
August 27, 2009
I Can Haz Contradiction?

Veterinarians in the UK have discovered a "genetically impossible" male tortoiseshell cat. Ellen called b-s, claiming there have long been reports of male calicoes. In other words, extremely rare, but far from impossible.

Posted by scott at 06:43 AM eMail this entry!
August 26, 2009
People Are Just Sick

Accused kitty killer Sean Lynde turns self in; suspected of murdering 4 of girlfriend's adopted cats.
Read more: here.
Posted by Ellen at 07:08 AM eMail this entry!
August 23, 2009
Your Thought for the Day

funny pictures of cats with captions

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My wife, let me show you her. My wife.

Posted by scott at 05:37 PM eMail this entry!
August 19, 2009
The Largest Inventory of Used Cats In The Area!

Come check us out! Lowest prices, 0% financing and $0 down!

Visit your local shelter today!

Posted by Ellen at 06:22 PM eMail this entry!
August 13, 2009
Your Thought for the Day
Posted by scott at 09:52 PM eMail this entry!
July 31, 2009
Been a Long Time Since Pictures, You Say?

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I think it's gonna take A Gramma or two to get Ellen to post some pictures. Apologies until then.

Posted by scott at 06:53 PM eMail this entry!
July 19, 2009
Jeeze... I Only Went To Visit Neighbors!

However, Turnbull said she was shocked and delighted when she recently received a letter from a local veterinarian saying the cat had been found.

The power of the microchip.

Posted by Ellen at 08:34 AM eMail this entry!
July 17, 2009
Advanced Cat Yodeling!

">

Posted by Ellen at 09:11 PM eMail this entry!
July 14, 2009
Weer in Ur Hed...

... farkin' wif ur mind:

Cat owners may have suspected as much, but it seems our feline friends have found a way to manipulate us humans.

Researchers at the University of Sussex have discovered that cats use a "soliciting purr" to overpower their owners and garner attention and food.

The conclusions seem a bit... florid... compared to the data, but it's an interesting conclusion nonetheless. Now for follow-up, they should see if such a purr can be found out amongst barnyard feral colonies.

Posted by scott at 10:58 AM eMail this entry!
July 02, 2009
Your Thought for the Day

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see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Best explanation I've ever seen of it. Never have understood why I need to look at a cat's paw under the bathroom door.

Posted by scott at 03:52 PM eMail this entry!
June 17, 2009
Stupid Researcher Wastes Time On Study

"If we know their limits we won't expect too much of them, which in turn is important for their welfare. I am not trying to say cats are stupid, just they are different."

No they aren't stupid, they just don't give a shit.

June 13, 2009
Your Thought for the Day

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Posted by scott at 02:24 PM eMail this entry!
I Can Haz Evolutionz?

And now, a multi-page report on cat evolution. The short summary: a particular species of middle-eastern wildcat was just cute enough and just useful enough to be allowed in the house. The rest is history.

Posted by scott at 02:09 PM eMail this entry!
June 11, 2009
But It's So Cozy!

Now I would do this! It's almost like they are still there...

Posted by Ellen at 06:45 AM eMail this entry!
June 10, 2009
Your Thought for the Day
Posted by scott at 12:17 PM eMail this entry!
June 09, 2009
Goodnight Daddy-O

We love you.

Posted by Ellen at 05:15 PM eMail this entry!
Now What?

Damned fuzzy little monsters, I knew they were up to no good!

To counter all the scare-mongering you constantly hear about toxoplasmosis (toxo) and how dangerous it is, I give you this data point: Ellen handles more sick feral cats in a week than you or I ever will in our entire lives. She's been doing it for about fifteen years now I think. On Fridays her hands look like, well, like they've been attacked by sick, p-ssed off cats. She still tests negative for toxo.

Put that in your "giving up fluffy because I'm pregnant and don't want to get that nasty disease" pipe and smoke it.

Posted by scott at 12:43 PM eMail this entry!
June 01, 2009
I Can Haz Cauzality?

In the "well, at least we have proof" category, behavioral scientists have determined cats are incapable of connecting cause with effect. They're pretty good at connecting puke with carpet, I can tell you that for free.

Posted by scott at 02:00 PM eMail this entry!
May 30, 2009
Your Thought for the Day

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This definitely does not remind me of anyone I know. Not college buddies, not friends, not spouses. Nobody. Mah story, let me show you it...

Fark's Caturday is pretty darned good this week.

Posted by scott at 03:54 PM eMail this entry!
May 28, 2009
Franc The Cat

francthecat.jpg

Our overnight guest. Franc had a minor pee-pee surgery today. YiKeS! He's just hanging out (DOH!) until tomorrow.

Posted by Ellen at 09:55 PM eMail this entry!
Bad Kitty!

It's like a house cat, with a mouse. The body language of that cat was telegraphing he (she?) was looking to jump something.

To this day I've seen nothing in a lion or a tiger that I don't see every day with our incontinent little monsters. The difference is, of course, our cats don't weigh 300+ lbs. If they did, they'd be just as dangerous and unpredictable as their bigger cousins.

Posted by scott at 11:57 AM eMail this entry!
May 27, 2009
My Take
Posted by scott at 06:18 PM eMail this entry!
Smell Mah Kitteh Butt!

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Look! The kitten is almost camouflaged in Scott's beard!

Posted by Ellen at 05:47 PM eMail this entry!
Sharing Lunch

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Can I get an "Awwwwww".

Posted by Ellen at 05:44 PM eMail this entry!
I Can Haz Even More Fur?

And now, a cat with wings. Swoozy's gonna be sooo jealous!

Posted by scott at 09:54 AM eMail this entry!
May 23, 2009
Run Away!

Posted by Ellen at 10:12 PM eMail this entry!
Kitteh Trouser Monster!

Posted by Ellen at 09:58 PM eMail this entry!
May 22, 2009
Your Thought for the Day

funny pictures

moar funny pictures

"Icanhaz" captions are released to the wild immediately. We'll see if this one gets loose...

Posted by scott at 10:00 AM eMail this entry!
May 21, 2009
I Love You Teddy

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It has been 3 long years without you Teddy. Mommy still loves you.

Posted by Ellen at 06:31 PM eMail this entry!
May 14, 2009
Sticky Sweet

Posted by Ellen at 07:47 PM eMail this entry!
May 12, 2009
I Can Haz Identitee Crisis?

You think cats and dogs sleeping together is bad, now they're raising each other. Those kittens are just about the same age as the ones we're fostering right now. They're all cut and fuzzy, until the poop starts to come.

Posted by scott at 08:50 AM eMail this entry!
May 11, 2009
Admiration

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Posted by Ellen at 08:01 PM eMail this entry!
May 10, 2009
Chloe Kitteh

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*Learning how to eat their own toes.*

Posted by Ellen at 09:31 PM eMail this entry!
*NOM NOM NOM*

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The first 72 hours and they are already biting Scott.

Posted by Ellen at 08:12 PM eMail this entry!
May 08, 2009
Itteh Bitteh Kittehs!

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It's kitten season at the AMCGLTD house!
Posted by Ellen at 09:45 PM eMail this entry!
My World, Let Me Show You It.

Posted by Ellen at 09:18 PM eMail this entry!
May 07, 2009
Bits o' Fluff

Posted by scott at 02:00 PM eMail this entry!
May 06, 2009
That's Pretty M uch How It's Like in My House Too

It would appear cats really are important to the Internet. Around here "child", "bird", "turtle", and "snake" bars would also have to be added.

Hmm? Husband? You do read this site, right?

Posted by scott at 05:45 PM eMail this entry!
Cat Fail

Posted by Ellen at 06:54 AM eMail this entry!
May 02, 2009
I Can Haz Spring Lodeing?

Posted by scott at 11:34 AM eMail this entry!
April 23, 2009
I Shall Call Him "Fluffy."

Dr Marion Gibson, a witchcraft and folklore expert from Exeter University, said hundreds of years ago cats were put into walls to ward-off "bad luck".

Cat in a ha...no, wall.

April 15, 2009
Your Thought for the Day

funny pictures of cats with captions

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For some reason, I'm reminded of Amber's house...

Posted by scott at 09:05 PM eMail this entry!
April 11, 2009
Your Thought for the Day
Posted by scott at 11:13 AM eMail this entry!
April 08, 2009
I Can Haz Idenittee Crisis?

Another day, another stupid-cute series of "tiger cub with unusual mother" pictures. No, Ellen, you definitely can CAN'T* have one. Either one.

----
* CAN'T CAN'T CAN'T CAN'T CAN'T CAN'T CAN'T CAN'T!

Posted by scott at 09:18 AM eMail this entry!
March 27, 2009
AAAIIIIEEEYA!!!

Meant to do it, meant to do it. It's a good thing kittens are light and mostly cartilage. I'd fear for the survival of the species otherwise.

Posted by scott at 03:14 PM eMail this entry!
March 26, 2009
There's a Bag on Your Head! A Bag on Your Head!

Nothing quite as goofy as a mild-mannered cat "in disguise." There's a whole series featuring this feline. So much for an evening with the wife.

Posted by scott at 11:33 AM eMail this entry!
March 25, 2009
I Can Haz Bottle?

Whodathunkit? Turns out The Post really is useful for something... running pictures of cats!

Those baby snow leopards look exactly like the babies we foster every year, except about 3x larger. That's definitely not a baby butt I'd want to rub*.

----
* If you have to ask, Beavis, you've obviously never fostered newborn kittens. And stop giggling.

Posted by scott at 01:35 PM eMail this entry!
March 24, 2009
Your Thought for the Day
Posted by scott at 03:03 PM eMail this entry!
March 21, 2009
LolWhut?

getyourstinkin-1.jpg

My wife's work, let me show you it.

My wife's work.

Now go use up someone else's bandwidth.

Posted by scott at 06:00 PM eMail this entry!
March 19, 2009
I Can Haz Green M&Ms Only, Plz KthxBai

Coming to a stage near you, well, definitely near me I'm sure: Samantha Martin and her group the "Rock Cats". Some rock groups want groupies to throw underwear and hotel keys on the stage. This group just wants dead mice.

Posted by scott at 12:14 PM eMail this entry!
March 17, 2009
Blorch!

Yes, at work.
Posted by Ellen at 09:47 PM eMail this entry!
March 07, 2009
Back from a 9 Month Tour

RV was picked up as a stray by animal control officers in King County, Wash., a couple of weeks ago and she and Gold were reunited by microchip technology.

Read entire mushy story here.

Posted by Ellen at 06:48 PM eMail this entry!
March 06, 2009
Your Thought for the Day

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Posted by scott at 09:21 PM eMail this entry!
March 02, 2009
AWWW...

How can anyone think this cat is ugly? :)

The cat's full name is Ugly Bat Boy. He's bald in most places except for flowing fur on his chest, and he spends his days on a warm computer at Exeter Veterinary Hospital, reported WMUR-TV in Manchester, N.H. Bat Boy has become something of a local star.

With a video!

Posted by Ellen at 09:35 AM eMail this entry!
February 28, 2009
Your Thought for the Day

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Moar here...

Posted by scott at 11:42 AM eMail this entry!
February 25, 2009
Is He Cuddling, or Tasting?

Pat gets a no-prize that'll explode with candy for bringing us the latest in stupid-cute-baby-animal videos. Which just goes to show mammal babies are the same everywhere. I know from experience a baby bird would have absolutely nothing to do with either of them. Well, except squawk at them, that is.

Posted by scott at 01:36 PM eMail this entry!
February 23, 2009
I Can Haz Iden-it-ee Crisis?

Your "Head.Explodes(Candy);" moment today is brought to you by Frankston, Australia. Ya know, at least in the US they tend to tell you which state the story's happening in.

Bonus: AIIIEEEYAAAH!!! kitten leap from a couch capture in the video clip.

Dur. Link is here...

Posted by scott at 09:10 AM eMail this entry!
February 22, 2009
Rolcats

They aren't doing it right

They must be taught the true LOLCAT way!

Posted by Ellen at 08:14 AM eMail this entry!
February 20, 2009
StuffOnMyCat

Your thought for the day:

funny pictures of cats with captions

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Posted by scott at 08:11 PM eMail this entry!
February 18, 2009
Kitty Puff...No Grabby.

“People can’t believe it’s real when they see the picture. I tell them ‘yes it’s real, I’m holding a lions’ b****’.”

No Scott, I do not hold kitty puffs while they are awake. Just when I'm stripping off hair for neutering.

Posted by Ellen at 08:12 PM eMail this entry!
February 14, 2009
Cooper's At It Again!

This time he has his own art gallery display!

Cooper - Cat Photographer.

Cooper is a 3 year old American Shorthair cat living in Seattle. Once a week he wears a lightweight digital camera fastened to his collar, which snaps a new photo every 2 minutes.

Posted by Ellen at 08:58 AM eMail this entry!
February 12, 2009
Fullmer!

Posted by Ellen at 09:12 PM eMail this entry!
Waiting for the Compile to Complete...

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Posted by scott at 01:26 PM eMail this entry!
February 06, 2009
My Wife, Let Me Show You Her...

My wife...

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Posted by scott at 01:53 PM eMail this entry!
GIMMEH!!!

Oh, look... a wee beastie with delusions of grandeur:

I especially like how the guy really wants to poke "teh kitteh" with a fork, but stops just short, presumably because his significant other is holding the camera.

I agree with one of the commentators... this most likely is a rescue kitten who hasn't gotten its head around the "free food all the time" reality of domestic "kittehtude."

Posted by scott at 01:51 PM eMail this entry!
February 01, 2009
This Will Have This Song In Your Head For HOURS...

Posted by Ellen at 08:03 PM eMail this entry!
January 29, 2009
Archie, You Need A Nail Trim

Posted by Ellen at 09:51 PM eMail this entry!
Patches, Do You Want To Go Home?

No? You want to stay with Jamilla? Oh she has tuna fish? Lucky cat.

Posted by Ellen at 09:40 PM eMail this entry!
January 28, 2009
I Can Haz Clearance to FL 20?

You knew it was only a matter of time before guys started using those nifty indoor RC helicopters their wives/girlfriends gave them for Christmas to f- with the family cats:

I've only gotten about half way through it. So far the highlight is the drive-by mugger at about 4:30. All-in-all, a great collection of wtf? it can't eat me? kill it! Kill it dead! KILL IT!!! cat expressions I've seen in quite some time.

Posted by scott at 06:05 PM eMail this entry!
Couldn't Resist

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Posted by scott at 10:14 AM eMail this entry!
January 27, 2009
Best Job Ever!

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And NO it's NOT molesting cats! Some people get smoke breaks, I get cat breaks.

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menzeus.jpg
Posted by Ellen at 01:31 PM eMail this entry!
January 09, 2009
I Can Haz Fone Call?

Meet Frankie, Swindon UK's most prolific cat burglar. Bonus: proof positive that US morning TV does not in fact have a corner on the douchebag host market.

Posted by scott at 01:42 PM eMail this entry!
January 08, 2009
Warm and Fuzzy!

A very 'furry' NO-Prize to Annie!

Suzanne Owen owns a hand-crafted sweater made out of cat fur. Owen collected every hair her cat, Smokey, shed to create the one-of-a-kind feline sweater.

Every time Smokey was brushed or groomed, Owen saved the loose fur in plastic baggies.

Once 5 pounds of Smokey"s fur was collected, VIP Fibers in California spun the fur into yarn.

Would I wear one? Hell yes!

Posted by Ellen at 06:50 PM eMail this entry!
It Just Don't Get Much Sillier

Posted by scott at 03:21 PM eMail this entry!
Lord Vader, this is an unexpected pleasure. We are honored by your presence...

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Posted by scott at 01:23 PM eMail this entry!
January 06, 2009
Your Thought for the Day

Ivehadenoughofyourbs.jpg

Posted by scott at 04:07 PM eMail this entry!
January 05, 2009
I Can Haz Requiem?

Willie, the Bush's "first cat", was found dead at her home in the White House on Sunday. 18 is a pretty darned good run for a cat, but I'm sure it's still quite sad. On the other hand...

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Posted by scott at 01:28 PM eMail this entry!
January 04, 2009
Field Trip!
Patricia Dare was charged Monday with the violations in a private complaint filed by a state dog warden who inspected Petz Unlimted's kennels in October. Because Dare pleaded guilty to summary charges of failing to maintain sanitary and humane conditions following a July inspection, the new charges are a misdemeanor, court documents state.

Petz Unlimited, located in the Cumberland Marketplace shopping center on the northwest corner of state Route 114 and the Carlisle Pike is owned by Dare's son, Port Dare. In 2002, Dare spent 15 days in Cumberland County Prison after being convicted on animal cruelty charges.

Township police and witnesses said Dare placed a sick kitten in a plastic bag and put in in a freezer. When that did not kill it, Dare bashed it against the side of a Dumpster.

Address: Petz Unlimited

6560 Carlisle Pike

Mechanicsburg, PA 17050

(717) 795-9099

Oh yes...the article.

Enjoy.

Makes you thinks twice where you buy your pet supplies from.

Posted by Ellen at 08:46 PM eMail this entry!
December 31, 2008
I Can Haz Photoshop?

While I think the connection with schizophrenia is pretty darned tenuous, the pictures are pretty cool. Just don't let Ellen figure out how to do it, lest this site be flooded with wispy cat and parrot artwork.

Posted by scott at 09:00 AM eMail this entry!
December 30, 2008
MY HEROES!

I'm going to cry.

Firefighters used baby oxygen masks to revive six pet cats after the moggies were overcome by smoke when a blaze ripped through a house.

The crews used breathing apparatus adaptors usually reserved for babies to revive the animals who were found lying unconscious in the smoke-logged building.

Read entire sappy article article.

Posted by Ellen at 06:51 AM eMail this entry!
December 18, 2008
WTF?

Some people are really that sick.

ROSS TWP. – Three kittens with ear, neck and tail piercings were removed from a home by humane officers on Wednesday.

Wayne Harvey, SPCA kennel attendant, holds a kitten that was taken from a home in Ross Township on Wednesday.

One of the officers from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals of Luzerne County said the pierced kittens were being sold as “gothic kittens” on an Internet auction site.

Read entire asinine article here.

Posted by Ellen at 09:12 PM eMail this entry!
December 15, 2008
Me and Chess

meandchess.jpg

There is nothing better in the world than to come into work in the morning and get a kiss from a cat.

Posted by Ellen at 08:38 PM eMail this entry!
December 12, 2008
I Can Haz Inner Peece?

How Ellen's avoided this for all these years I'll never know. They weren't all fat, old, and lazy 10 years ago!

Posted by scott at 04:24 PM eMail this entry!
December 11, 2008
I Can Haz Follow-Up?

The lady with the cat who bit Santa came forward with vaccination records, so at least kitty is safe (for now) and Santa doesn't have to get shots. Bonus: owner claims cat is "half domestic, half bobcat." Well, if the records are to be believed, there's a vet in Jersey somewhere who bought it. I don't.

Posted by scott at 10:43 AM eMail this entry!
December 10, 2008
Sandy Claws: 1, Santa Claus: 0

Alternate title: I can haz naughty list:

Scratches and bites cover the hand and arm of Jonathan Bebbington, after an encounter with a not–so–friendly feline.

Bebbington says, "It hurt, it had a lot of power in its jaws."

That's because the kitty on Bebbington’s lap when he was dressed as Santa Claus for pictures appears to be a bobcat.

Ellen's got a few stories about weirdo owners trying to bring wild animals in for pet care. It will most likely surprise nobody around here that she a) doesn't tolerate it and b) calls the cops, usually before the owner even knows what's going on. Domestic cats are crazy enough, I wouldn't want to go near a wild one.

Posted by scott at 02:24 PM eMail this entry!
December 08, 2008
Sparky... What Are You Doing?

Posted by Ellen at 09:01 PM eMail this entry!
December 02, 2008
Goofy Little Monster

Posted by scott at 08:51 AM eMail this entry!
December 01, 2008
Your Thought for the Day
funny pictures of cats with captions
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Posted by scott at 03:08 PM eMail this entry!
November 29, 2008
November 25, 2008
Oscar's Hit! Oscar's Hit!

Posted by Ellen at 09:08 PM eMail this entry!
November 02, 2008
I Can Haz Candid Camera?

Have cam, will travel:

Curiosity may kill the cat but now their inquisitive owners can find out exactly what their pets are getting up to - by hanging a tiny digital camera from their necks.

Ours would be long, continuous shots of whatever they happened to be sleeping on.

Posted by scott at 10:04 AM eMail this entry!
October 28, 2008
Your Thought for the Day

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Posted by scott at 04:29 PM eMail this entry!
October 25, 2008
Your Own Personal Night Light And Pet At The Same Time!

Mr Green Genes of New Orleans in the U.S. is the country's first 'glow in the dark' ginger tom.

In daylight he looks normal, but put him in a darkened room and switch on an ultraviolet light, and his face will beam out a bright green.

Everyone say awwwwww.

Posted by Ellen at 10:30 AM eMail this entry!
October 20, 2008
I Can Haz Cardeeack Arrest?

Annie gets a no-prize with a strobe mounted on it for bringing us a geeky/creative way to keep "kitteh" off the counter. The videos don't have sound, but they really don't need it. The guy should've kept his trap shut and sent at least one of them into AFV. He probably would've gotten on TV with it.

Posted by scott at 11:58 AM eMail this entry!
October 13, 2008
I Can Haz Psychadelic Swirlee?

Annie gets a no-prize with an obsession with water for bringing us the root cause of one man's incredibly high water bills.

Every cat I've ever known goes through a phase when they're obsessed by the toilet. Some are just more enterprising than others in kicking things off.

Posted by scott at 10:39 AM eMail this entry!
October 12, 2008
Lily, The Never Ending Food Pit

Posted by Ellen at 08:49 PM eMail this entry!
October 10, 2008
Wakey-Wakey

Those of you wondering what it's really like to sleep with a cat in the house need wonder no more. This at least appears to be a single-cat home. Those of us cursed blessed with more than one of the puke/pee/poop machines darlings get the added bonus of being used as bunkers during bed territory wars.

Posted by scott at 08:35 AM eMail this entry!
October 08, 2008
In Favor of the Odds...

Far as I'm concerned, life tends to come in 3's. Tends to. No one prepares you for the other odds.

When your career is to fix the hurt, no one ever realizes that 'fixing' that hurt can mean ending the hurt. Permanently.

Eventually 3's turns into 5's. Then 7's. Then 9's. The odds keep adding up, after a while.

Now, normally Wednesdays on my end are quiet days. They are boring days. You watch the clock, wonder what you'll eat for lunch or what the cat gets to make them come out and play. You never think the worst. It's a Wednesday, and it will always remain boring. Must remain...

Suddenly a Wednesday will somersault on you and make you dizzy to the point that it takes hours for you to realize what you did.

Wednesdays are slow days. Must remain...

Not today.

Today started with a euthanasia and ended with one.

Not my favorite kind of day.

You... well, I... literally become hardened on the outside, yet your insides want to scream and cry and wail but you have to... must prove yourself to the newbie that in the end it does not hurt after a while.

12 years later, it still hurts, and yet you have no tears. Well, on the outside.

I came home today after euthanizing 4 cats. 3 of which I knew well. Fortunately, for 3, I knew their time was right.

Max, I love you even if you were so cranky and you always wanted to bite me no matter how much I tried to win your heart. Your Mom loved your haircuts and you got a tad sweeter every time I saw you. Today you were quite kind to me. I love you. Always have, always will.

Wawa, you were sweet no matter how cranky we all thought you were. I'm sorry you had cancer. Your Daddy loves you so much. He proved it today.

Peanut, your Daddy loves you and Grandma could not bear to watch you leave so she sat on the couch with Emme and Cricket to comfort her. I was there to help.

Big Boy... last man out. I am so sad for you. Your mom was moving to Bolivia for some reason unknown to us. She would only let us do x-rays and an exam and refused all else and decided to euthanize you because you were vomiting all the time. I hope someone throws up in her car and can't get the smell out. Or her plane falls into the ocean, or her car overturns on one of those Bolivian roads. It's happened before!

I am sorry I could not help you other than making your passing a nice, quiet and loving one.

Tonight... tonight I looked down at my hands when I got home from work and realized I had ink all over them. Ink from doing 8 paw prints on 4 cards in a day. No matter how hard I scrubbed it would not come off. I even noticed the smeared paw prints on my arm in the shower.

No matter what, I hope I made your passing an easy one.

[What else does the harvest have to hope for, dear Lord, except for the care of the Reaper Man? -- Ed.]

Must... never... always... remember...

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Not bruises. Well, not on the outside.

Remember...

Posted by Ellen at 09:03 PM eMail this entry!
October 03, 2008
I Can Haz Inshooranse Settlement?

Lisa R gets a no-prize with eyes that'll glow in headlights for bringing us a sad tail of someone trying to blame everything else but his behavior as the cause of a fatal car accident, even the cat. Article includes impressively mangled car remains picture, but no sign of the perp feline.

Posted by scott at 08:55 AM eMail this entry!
September 23, 2008
Not Cool Sparky

Posted by Ellen at 09:17 PM eMail this entry!
September 22, 2008
Goodnight Yoda

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Your Mommy loves you Yoda!

ps. Tell Ted, Ajax and Pongo to behave!

pps. Tell Garrison that the flowers I sent are poisonous and you don't want him with you anytime soon!

Posted by Ellen at 07:45 PM eMail this entry!
September 15, 2008
I Can Haz Observaishun?

Jeff gets a no-prize that can move with eerie silence for bringing us this clear and simple example of just what happens when you put that dratted cat in that German's box and close the door. Don't worry, "kitteh" is just being a cat, and was not harmed in the least.

Ours are too fat and lazy to do this sort of thing anymore, but Ellen's Mom's cat Lovey was justly famous for doing this sort of thing all the time. Except it was even spookier because she never seemed to move from a sitting position.

Posted by scott at 01:47 PM eMail this entry!
September 14, 2008
September 2008 Pet Food Recall

Pet Food Recalled After Salmonella Link Suspected.

Two isolated cases of a type of the salmonella bacterium known as Salmonella Schwarzengrund in humans has caused a Pennsylvania pet food manufacturer to recall a number of dry dog and cat food brands nationwide.

Mars Inc.'s Mars Petcare is recalling cat and dog food made at its Everson, Pa. facility, according to wire service reports.

While Mars Inc. maintained no direct connection has been made between illness in either animals or humans and its pet food product, the possibility that two humans may have contracted salmonella caused the recall, which began at the beginning of August.

The latest announcement expanded the pet food brands being recalled to include some Pedigree brands, Country Acres, Retriever, Doggy Bag, Members Mark, Natural, Ol' Roy, Special Kitty, Paws & Claws, Wegman's, Pet Pride, PMI Nutrition and Red Flannel.

Consumers should look for "17" as the first two digits of the second line on the Universal Price Code. Pedigree products will have "PAE" on the bottom line. Consumers can also call 1-877-568-4463 for more information.

Salmonella Schwarzengrund is one member (serovar) of the salmonella family. According to the U.S. Food and Drug administration, symptoms in humans include fever, diarrhea (which may be bloody), nausea, vomiting and abdominal pain. Animal symptoms include lethargy, diarrhea (sometimes bloody), fever, and vomiting. Some pets will only have decreased appetite, fever or abdominal pain.

Posted by Ellen at 09:33 PM eMail this entry!
September 13, 2008
Your Thought for the Day
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U go wai, steel fark banwith... k thx bai!!!

Posted by scott at 05:45 PM eMail this entry!
September 12, 2008
IMA GIT U!

Don' like papr... u go wai!

They probably didn't need the "bang" sound... the cat was probably hitting that printer hard enough to make plenty of noise.

Posted by scott at 01:22 PM eMail this entry!
September 10, 2008
An AMCGLTD Exclusive!

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Yes! This is one of the kitty cats I work on! Names? Nope. Sorry. Names are withheld per request of the cat!

Posted by Ellen at 09:04 PM eMail this entry!
September 05, 2008
I Can Haz Rescue?

Annie gets a smoldering no-prize for bringing us this latest tale of firemen rescuing cats. The stinger? It was the little monsters who probably caused the fire in the first place!

Posted by scott at 12:33 PM eMail this entry!
September 04, 2008
Judge Me By My Ears Will You?

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AWWWWWW!!!!!

Go find it on your own! Yoda the 4 eared cat! :)

Posted by Ellen at 09:49 PM eMail this entry!
August 25, 2008
I Can Haz Sarah Conner?

Leave it to the Pentagon to spend zillions of dollars on something I know from long experience will spend 90% of its life sleeping, and the other 10% split between peeing, pooing, or puking on everything in the house:

The Pentagon's crash program to create an artificial brain is up and running. And, if it all goes as planned, we could see an electronic chip that mimics the "function, size, and power consumption" of a cat's cortex some time in the next decade.

And I will take this time to note for the record that, to the absolute surprise of no-one who reads this site regularly, today Ellen taught her parrot to purr. Obligatory YouTube video will most likely come along soon.

Posted by scott at 03:51 PM eMail this entry!
August 12, 2008
Diiing Dooong!

Posted by Ellen at 09:45 PM eMail this entry!
August 07, 2008
Gilbert Has The Crazies

One of my boarding cats right now. He has the crazies. Often.

Posted by Ellen at 09:18 PM eMail this entry!
Your Thought for the Day

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Hee!!!

Posted by scott at 02:22 PM eMail this entry!
August 05, 2008
I Can Haz Arteries!!!

Newbie cat owner Annie and anyone else new to cats should find this account of "an encounter with the vet" amusing. Ellen has things like that happen just about every day, so it's pretty routine to her. I still thought it was funny.

Via Yourish.

Posted by scott at 12:01 PM eMail this entry!
August 01, 2008
Gimmeh!!!

S'mine! U go wai!

Joshua gets a light-hearted no-prize for bringing us an example of a very... possessive... "kitteh."

Posted by scott at 08:22 AM eMail this entry!
Kitten Update

One by one the kittens just turned off last night. Being 10 days premature I am not surprised at all.

Posted by Ellen at 06:42 AM eMail this entry!
July 31, 2008
The Hardest Project Of All

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Litter of 4 from a Feral cat colony. No matter what, they wanted Mom spayed, so we C-sectioned her instead. Two already died from the litter. They are a week to 10 days premature. So they are with us to see if we can get through the first 24 hours.

Posted by Ellen at 05:48 PM eMail this entry!
I Can Has Identity Crisis?

Annie gets a no-prize full of candy for bringing us a curious kind of foster care. Would it were always that easy!

Posted by scott at 02:12 PM eMail this entry!
I Can Has Saveyur?

Mark gets a slightly ridiculous but otherwise harmless no-prize for bringing us the latest in Jesus sightings. Ceiling cat is watching you genuflect!

Posted by scott at 08:24 AM eMail this entry!
July 30, 2008
Oh Hai...

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Chester at work today. Cell phone pix...sorry it's blurry.

Posted by Ellen at 09:01 PM eMail this entry!
Hey Amber... Just For You..

Posted by Ellen at 08:39 PM eMail this entry!
DOOT!

Let's poke Coconut!

Posted by Ellen at 08:33 PM eMail this entry!
July 26, 2008
Teh Monee Go "Boom"
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This week's Caturday on Fark is Molto Benny! Go use their bandwidth!

Posted by scott at 06:24 PM eMail this entry!
July 24, 2008
NOT SMART!

Posted by Ellen at 08:52 PM eMail this entry!
We Love You Chester!

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Chester went to live with Annie tonight! Annie has 2 of our foster babies from last year. Poor cats, they have no idea what she is bringing home. GOOD LUCK Simon and Vincent!

Posted by Ellen at 08:01 PM eMail this entry!
Spanky

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My boss's cat, Spanky. He is my best buddy when he comes to visit at work. And yes, I am wearing a sweater today. The air conditioner was on overdrive.

Posted by Ellen at 06:07 PM eMail this entry!
Weer in Ur Old Folks Home...

... stealin' all the rooms. I'm not sure if this is a clever marketing attempt by a shelter, or if it's just another boarding facility. Either way, that music is annoying!

Posted by scott at 08:17 AM eMail this entry!
July 23, 2008
Weer in Ur Jim...

...burnin da calorees.

Annie gets a trim n' fit no-prize for bringing us an example of what every kitty should do to stay healthy.

Posted by scott at 01:48 PM eMail this entry!
July 22, 2008
Me and Archie

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We use Archie for prank phone calls. I mean who does not want a LOUD Bengal calling them?

Posted by Ellen at 08:31 PM eMail this entry!
July 20, 2008
What I Deal With On A Daily Basis

NO CATS WHERE HURT IN THE MAKING OF THIS VIDEO. LAUGHING YES...*

His parents even commented on it when we called to let them know we would have to sedate him for his xrays.

Per what the owner said on the phone... "Honey? You know that thing Pinto does when he gets upset? You know when he starts to scream and rears up?..."

I shit you not. That is why we laugh.

Posted by Ellen at 02:59 PM eMail this entry!
July 18, 2008
Early Caturday
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We still don't have the bandwidth to host a full one, but Scott just couldn't resist this shot

Posted by Ellen at 08:47 PM eMail this entry!
July 17, 2008
Chester Hugs

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Posted by Ellen at 09:32 PM eMail this entry!
July 16, 2008
Cat Tower For The Tight Spaced

I really need one of these.

Posted by Ellen at 09:50 AM eMail this entry!
July 11, 2008
Oh My....Head Rubs...

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Posted by Ellen at 09:13 PM eMail this entry!
3-0 Monocryl

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Only 12 days to go and they come out Chester!

Posted by Ellen at 08:54 PM eMail this entry!
Stitches

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Chester! Where is your eye? In the trash you say? Keeping Goblin's leg company?

Posted by Ellen at 08:49 PM eMail this entry!
July 10, 2008
That's right...play with electricity now.

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...let's see what body part you lose next.

*Oh its a USB cable ppl! Lighten up!*

Posted by Ellen at 09:19 PM eMail this entry!
Chester

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Our latest foster cat, Chester. We took his eye out today due to an old lens rupture injury. Hasn't slowed him down tonight.

Posted by Ellen at 09:12 PM eMail this entry!
June 27, 2008
Blutarskitty... Zero... Point... Zero...*

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---
* It's a reference. Oh go look it up!

Posted by Ellen at 10:15 PM eMail this entry!
June 26, 2008
Rrrmm... Okay...

Fans of "Kitty Cat Dance" may find this amusing. Sort of. Suddenly I have an urge to exercise and drink a strawberry milkshake.

Posted by scott at 11:34 AM eMail this entry!
June 17, 2008
Pets A'Hoy!

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As Scott would say:

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ZING!

~Really cute pet show at Sea World.

Posted by Ellen at 09:41 PM eMail this entry!
June 14, 2008
I Can Has Carousel?

Now why didn't I think of this? "Renewing" your cat wouldn't work for us... I'm pretty sure the only reason Swoozie is still around is because our bunch is too fat, lazy, and old to care.

Posted by scott at 07:02 AM eMail this entry!
June 12, 2008
I Can Has A Burlesque Dance Too?

Watch the cat!

Posted by Ellen at 12:29 PM eMail this entry!
June 03, 2008
I'm Actually Surprised it Took this Long

First it was scancats, then lolcats, now I guess we'll have to call them "sinkcats". If they weren't so damned goofy pretending to be elegant, I'm not sure this stuff would be near as much fun.

And yes, I know I need to get out more. No need to whack me toward the door with a broom, thank you.

Posted by scott at 11:32 AM eMail this entry!
June 01, 2008
3 Little Kittens...

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Look, WE will pay the toll if you just take them off our hands!

Posted by Ellen at 08:48 PM eMail this entry!
May 31, 2008
NINJA BUG!!

Posted by Ellen at 09:11 PM eMail this entry!
May 21, 2008
Whisker Lips

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Posted by Ellen at 09:06 PM eMail this entry!
Kitten Pile Up!

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I added 2 more to the mix today. That brings us to 3 kittens right now. The 2 new ones are ~1 week old. One still has it's 'extension cord' still on.

Posted by Ellen at 08:58 PM eMail this entry!
May 20, 2008
My Face... Let Me Show You.

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Posted by Ellen at 09:06 PM eMail this entry!
I Has A Foot!

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Posted by Ellen at 09:04 PM eMail this entry!
Cuteness Overload!

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Posted by Ellen at 09:01 PM eMail this entry!
May 19, 2008
Foster Kitten #1

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This little girl has a home. We got her today and hope to have her back to her home in 3 weeks.

Posted by Ellen at 09:07 PM eMail this entry!
Tis The Season!!!

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It's KITTEN season!! That's right, our house has turned into a foster home yet again!

Posted by Ellen at 08:59 PM eMail this entry!
May 13, 2008
I Can Has Identity Crisis?

Nothing like a video report on a dog helping foster newborn kittens to start the day off right. Head.Explode(Candy);

Posted by scott at 10:30 AM eMail this entry!
May 09, 2008
Your Thought for the Day

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So versatile... from Olivia's real last name to the look Ellen gives me at bed time!

Posted by scott at 06:29 PM eMail this entry!
April 26, 2008
Best of Breed

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Now, U go wai!

Posted by scott at 03:38 PM eMail this entry!
April 19, 2008
When Engineers Attack... CATS!

Posted by Ellen at 06:16 PM eMail this entry!
April 17, 2008
For Ron, Our Anime Addict

humorous pictures
see more crazy cat pics

Except we do not put up stuff with tentacles.

Posted by Ellen at 09:48 PM eMail this entry!
April 12, 2008
I Can Has A Good One?

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This week's FARK Caturday thread is Full of Win, so go and enjoy someone else's bandwidth!

Posted by Ellen at 05:49 PM eMail this entry!
For Gramma Suzie

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Posted by Ellen at 05:47 PM eMail this entry!
April 08, 2008
And Now Da Sportz!

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No-prize to Mark!

Posted by Ellen at 06:06 PM eMail this entry!
April 07, 2008
Goodnight Arbor

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Goodnight RB, we love you.

Posted by Ellen at 05:19 PM eMail this entry!
April 04, 2008
I'm Jus' Sayin'

humorous pictures
see more crazy cat pics
Posted by scott at 05:58 PM eMail this entry!
IMA GIT U!

Alternate title: Head.Explode(candy);

Joshua gets a no-prize that'll melt the hardest heart for bringing us this bit of fluffy kitten cheer.

Posted by scott at 10:45 AM eMail this entry!
March 27, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

HAPPY 11TH BIRTHDAY COCONUT!!

~We LOVE you!

Posted by Ellen at 08:02 PM eMail this entry!
March 26, 2008
I Can Haz Refreshment?

A specialty soda manufacturer is running a contest to put lolcats on their labels. Could this be the final cresting of the LOLcat meme? Me, I hope not, I think they're funny.

Why, thank you for this sign, but "E. Zleea Mused" isn't my name!

Posted by scott at 12:49 PM eMail this entry!
March 24, 2008
U Go Wai

There's laid back cats, and then there's laid back cats. Ours are almost that lazy, at least until the food scoop comes out.

Posted by scott at 12:44 PM eMail this entry!
I Can Has Geye-Gurr Counter?

Action: Federale radiation detector meant to snag Hajji and his merry bomb-makers instead pops a kitty in a truck who just got radiation treatment.

Reaction: ZOMFG!!!1!!! They're watching us!!!

I'd read stories about how the metropolitan areas of Oregon and Washington state were so far to the political left they were in danger of falling into the Pacific Ocean. I didn't really believe them. I'm starting to believe them now.

Posted by scott at 10:24 AM eMail this entry!
March 17, 2008
I Can Haz Orijenz?

The Washington Post's science section today was all about teh kittah. Turns out that, not surprisingly, feline origins are more complex than originally thought, although some definitive answers seem to have been found.

Posted by scott at 08:36 AM eMail this entry!
March 12, 2008
Nom Nom No-- hey!!!

Cat: 0, Pringles can: 1. Oh be quiet, the cat was fine. More than fine, downright laid-back about it all. If something like that were to happen to one of ours they wouldn't be right for a week.

Posted by scott at 02:22 PM eMail this entry!
March 10, 2008
I Can Haz Stress Reduction?

Funny, around our house they seem to encourage, rather than prevent, heart attacks. As noted in the article, it's more likely that all pets cause a significant reduction in heart attack risk, and what the study found is due to statistics.

Wouldn't it be interesting if that weren't the case?

Posted by scott at 02:12 PM eMail this entry!
March 06, 2008
I Can Haz Off Day?

Dunno, why, but a caturday thread on Thursday is for whatever reason much funnier than "teh noremall" one that comes up on Saturday. So enjoy someone else's bandwidth!

Posted by scott at 08:40 PM eMail this entry!
March 05, 2008
If We Weren't All Racist Cat Haters, We'd Actually Like This

Joshua gets a no-prize that is possibly the silliest thing on the planet for bringing us The Cat with a Thousand Faces. It's amazing what you can achieve with some string, a few bits of cardboard, and a lazy cat.

Posted by scott at 10:11 AM eMail this entry!
March 02, 2008
Weer In Ur Treeze

Helpin Darwin:

A 27-year-old Orange man fell to his death from a 50-foot Italian cypress tree as he attempted to rescue a cat, the Orange County Register reported Thursday.

The cat got up there, the cat most definitely can get down. It stays because it doesn't have anything better to do, and enjoys the view. Ignore this at your peril.

Posted by scott at 05:50 PM eMail this entry!
February 26, 2008
To My Sweet White Boy...

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Yesterday was your 1st year in Heaven, and it feels like you have been gone longer. We love you Ajax.

Posted by Ellen at 06:54 AM eMail this entry!
February 18, 2008
Much Better than the "Pilling" List

39 steps to wrapping a present with a cat, well, present. Now that the holiday season is safely over, I can laugh.

Posted by scott at 04:27 PM eMail this entry!
February 16, 2008
Oh Noes!!!

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It may go on forever, but this week's Fark Caturday thread sure starts out strong enough. It's someone else's bandwidth, so enjoy!

Posted by scott at 04:32 PM eMail this entry!
February 10, 2008
Which is Why You Lock the Pet Door

Home pets: 1, raccoon: 0. I wonder how long it took them to figure out just what was stealing all the cat food?

Via Dust Bunny Ramblings

February 02, 2008
Caturday Overload

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I didn't think it was possible to express what Ron is like after he downs a bottle of Merlot in 10 minutes. I was wrong.

Moar heer...

Posted by scott at 04:04 PM eMail this entry!
January 30, 2008
I Can Has Officer Commission?

Lord bless Wikipedia, without which we would never have know about Unsinkable Sam, the only cat known to have survived three ships sinking under him. You'd think, after the second one at least, they would've kept him on shore.

Posted by scott at 10:44 AM eMail this entry!
January 26, 2008
I Can Haz Regyoolar Feet-Yur?

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Just in time for... oh hell, I dunno, something, Fark's Caturday roundup appears.

Don't blame us, blame evolution!

Posted by scott at 09:22 AM eMail this entry!
January 24, 2008
I Can Has Frequent Flyer Miles?

I'm thinking the total number is around six:

Some kitty math: How many lives did little tabby Gracie Mae use up when she crawled into her owner's suitcase, went through an airport X-ray machine, got loaded onto a plane, thrown onto a baggage belt and mistakenly picked up by a stranger far from home?

And doesn't that give you a great "warm n' fuzzy" about the effectiveness of TSA luggage screeners? "Socks... Camera... Cat skeleton... Shaving cream... Underwear..."

Via Yourish.

Posted by scott at 11:37 AM eMail this entry!
January 19, 2008
Caturday Returnz

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No, not here, it's just too expensive to host here. Fark has lots more money than we do.

Posted by scott at 03:29 PM eMail this entry!
January 14, 2008
I Can Haz Restin' Peess?

Damned bloody dog:

A pet dog missed the family’s dead cat so much that he dug up his grave and brought the body back into the house.

Could be worse. The family could've woken up to half a dead cat. Considering a dog's sense of smell, that's most likely what the intent really was.

Posted by scott at 01:28 PM eMail this entry!
December 31, 2007
Going to Moon, BRB

Sadly, there's absolutely no way any of ours could get away with this. But it should finally put to rest Ellen's outrage over that whole "Bonsai Kitty" thing.

Posted by scott at 02:48 PM eMail this entry!
December 27, 2007
I Can Has...

Gekkoe feets?

Ours are too fat, old, and lazy nowadays to attempt things like that. If they were younger, I'm not sure just how safe ol' Swooze would be.

Via Countercolumn

Posted by scott at 03:01 PM eMail this entry!
December 21, 2007
I Am, Quite Honestly, Amazed This Hasn't Happend to Us

Hasn't happened to us, or Amber:

It is very disturbing to see the headless body of your cat in the sink. This is an animal that I have slept with nightly for ten years, who burrows under the covers and purrs against my side, and who now looked like a desperate, fur-covered turkey carcass, set to defrost in the sink while it's still alive and kicking. It was also disturbing to see Rich, Mr. Calm-in-an-Emergency, at his wits end, trying to soothe Rudy, trying to undo the garbage disposal, failing at both, and basically freaking out.

Not to worry, everything ended up just fine. Well, except for my now-very-well-split sides.

Via Yourish

Posted by scott at 07:48 PM eMail this entry!
December 18, 2007
Robo Kittah

I can has ride to Talos IV?

It's a geeky reference. Go look it up. Dur.

Posted by scott at 03:37 PM eMail this entry!
December 12, 2007
MY Kind of Cat!

Owner Wendy Wallis said Jelly wandered back in to their property, which borders the creek at Sorell, about 11.30am yesterday carrying the snake with her.

See the picture and article here.

Posted by Ellen at 09:56 AM eMail this entry!
December 09, 2007
The Xmas Pix I did for The Capital Cat Clinic 2007

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Posted by Ellen at 07:21 PM eMail this entry!
December 05, 2007
You've Gotta Be Kidding Me

Mark gets a no-prize he's allergic to wearing a wig for bringing us Kitty Wigs. It's exactly what you think it is, in a "no-not-that-kitty-you-sick-f-" way. Coming to a cat clinic near you!

Bonus: lots of "FOR THIS, HUMAN, YOU DIE TONIGHT" lolcat candidate pictures.

Posted by scott at 10:26 AM eMail this entry!
December 02, 2007
I Can Has...

A Caturday thread someone else pays for! It'll come back here again, I'm sure. We just need to drink enough beer be in the right mood with the computer open.

Posted by scott at 09:49 AM eMail this entry!
November 30, 2007
A Challenger Appears!

I especially like how he makes it ring like a bell at the end. Yeah, I know, but caturday's gotten really expensive for us. Maybe next week...

Posted by scott at 03:23 PM eMail this entry!
November 26, 2007
I Shall Call it "Cadubbed"

This sorta reminds me of a kung-fu movie. Only funnier, and with cats. I especially liked it when one called the other, "ass."

Posted by scott at 02:05 PM eMail this entry!
November 21, 2007
Only A Face A Mother Could Love

I need one! Why did I not have a 2 faced cat yet!?!

Read the article here.

Thanks to Nina for the article! No-Prize to you!

~With picture goodness! I am so happy to see one of these guys thriving!

Posted by scott at 07:20 PM eMail this entry!
November 13, 2007
Kiss n' Ride Kitty

Mark gets a no-prize he'll have to pick up every dratted morning for bringing us the story of Sgt Podge:

Sgt Podge, a Norwegian Forest Cat, disappears from his owner's home in Talbot Woods, Bournemouth [UK], every night.

The next morning, the 12-year-old cat can always be found in exactly the same place, on a pavement about one and a half miles (2.4km) away.

None of ours are allowed out unsupervised, so I'm not sure how well they'd do with this.

Posted by scott at 03:30 PM eMail this entry!
November 05, 2007
Spritz!

Sometimes, getting close to the wild animals is not a good thing. Domestic male cats will do this too, but since they don't weigh 300+ lbs it's not quite as impressive.

Destructive? My carpet, let me show it to you...

Lisa gets a no-prize that's got a scent that'll never go away for bringing us this scene of a tiger, a camera, and the permeable fence.

Posted by scott at 08:14 AM eMail this entry!
November 02, 2007
Caturday, the Return

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Back from a hiatus caused by sysadmin forgetfulness and bandwidth limitations. We may end up doing this slightly less frequently just to keep the bills down. At any rate, enjoy!

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Posted by scott at 11:24 AM eMail this entry!
October 26, 2007
Git Along, Lil' Doggy!

The best part is, you can tell exactly what the cat is thinking just by looking at him. You can also tell what the dog is thinking, but that's just because all he's thinking is, "runaroundrunaroundrunaroundboo!runaroundrunaroundrunaroundboo!"

Posted by scott at 01:33 PM eMail this entry!
October 19, 2007
Caturday Goes Where?!?

In spite of actually sending this week's bunch of captioned cats to myself, they didn't arrive, so we'll push forward to another day.

Posted by scott at 09:22 AM eMail this entry!
October 18, 2007
Luke

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Our new clinic cat.

Posted by Ellen at 10:42 PM eMail this entry!
This seems... strangely familiar...

Of course, at our house there's always the "puke strategy" involved. Getting regularly whacked in the head with a baseball bat would actually explain a lot of things than happen around my house.

Posted by scott at 03:40 PM eMail this entry!
October 12, 2007
I Can Has Huge Doggy?

I left all the LOLcats for today's Caturday on Ellen's computer at home, so it'll be up to her to get them up when she gets home (hint, hint). In the meantime, enjoy this video of a tiny kitten and a big ol' husky having fun together. I was a little worried at first, but it seems pretty obvious the kitten knows the dog, otherwise all you'd see on the video is a kitten-shaped hole in the air as he hit light speed to get away.

Posted by scott at 12:15 PM eMail this entry!
October 11, 2007
I Can Has Light?

You knew it had to happen some day: the LOLcat bible. No, really!

Genesis 1 looks so damned much like what (in my opinion) a cat would say, it's kinda scary.

Posted by scott at 12:47 PM eMail this entry!
October 10, 2007
Madness?!? This is... Sparta!!!

Usually I don't find "mash-ups" all that funny, but this one made me "LOL". Something tells me the chicks in the audience (especially Ellen) may be mildly disappointed in it, but that's just me.

Think of it as a trailer for, "LOLcats, the movie."

Posted by scott at 01:51 PM eMail this entry!
October 05, 2007
Caturday Blackjack

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Nobody loses with AMCGLTD Caturday! Not many originals here, but a whole bunch of LOLcat loopiness just the same. Enjoy!

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Posted by Ellen at 07:45 AM eMail this entry!
September 29, 2007
And The List Keeps Growing!

A historical look at cats.

Cats that are famous. Cats that belong to famous people. And of course, WILD CATS!

Posted by Ellen at 06:26 PM eMail this entry!
September 28, 2007
20th Century Caturday

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Indeed we do! This time, with much all-original goodness!

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Posted by scott at 08:48 AM eMail this entry!
September 21, 2007
Caturday, 1999

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True, but AMCGLTD Caturday is always worth the effort! Enjoy!

Updated with new bonus LOLcats to make up for the date screwup yesterday, like:

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Posted by scott at 07:59 AM eMail this entry!
September 15, 2007
Q-Tip Tail

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Posted by Ellen at 07:57 PM eMail this entry!
September 14, 2007
Caturday 18th, Par 5

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Maybe where you come from, but around here nobody can say no to AMCGLTD's caturday! This time with a great number of AMCG originals!

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gyros.jpg

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parrotfence.jpg

pluginkitty.jpg

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Sadhugzcat.jpg

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superherocat.jpg

tenderchicken.jpg

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Posted by scott at 08:15 AM eMail this entry!
September 07, 2007
Caturday 1922

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Posted by Ellen at 05:09 PM eMail this entry!
September 06, 2007
Mean Kitty!

Cheesy white guy rap: check
Bouncy single-synth track: check
Drum machine: check
Obnoxiously cute kitten: check

Posted by scott at 02:31 PM eMail this entry!
August 31, 2007
Caturday the XVI

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And so we shall! Onward, brave reader, for yet another AMCGLTD Caturday installment!

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Posted by scott at 08:29 AM eMail this entry!
August 24, 2007
Caturday 15th hole, Par 5

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You might be, but we're not! Enjoy!

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Posted by scott at 08:42 AM eMail this entry!
August 17, 2007
Caturday XIV

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Well of course! This time with much original goodness! Well, to us anyway...

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Posted by scott at 08:50 AM eMail this entry!
August 14, 2007
Yup, That's About the Size of It

It would appear cats start out very early learning important skills. Ellen and Amber will probably think this one's a scream.

Posted by scott at 02:08 PM eMail this entry!
August 12, 2007
Cat Taming!

Just for the fun of it. This is how we decompresss from a very short but busy weekend. We tame the Coconut!

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Back kitty! Back I say!

Posted by Ellen at 09:31 PM eMail this entry!
August 10, 2007
Caturday the Thirteenth

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We even managed to make our very first "dis-inspirational" poster for this run. Enjoy!

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Posted by scott at 07:45 AM eMail this entry!
August 09, 2007
I Can Has Coloration?

Obligatory: An extremely rare male tortoise shell cat has been found in San Diego. After the required five minutes of wonder, you can go about your business.

Posted by scott at 08:32 AM eMail this entry!
August 07, 2007
Felinian Motion

Ten cats, twenty cats, fifty cats, pretty soon you're talking about a real crowd. As basically everyone has noticed, their room sure does look clean. Something tells me we're all better off not knowing what that place smells like.

Posted by scott at 08:24 AM eMail this entry!
August 03, 2007
Caturday Twelfth Night

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Of course you are! It's AMCGLTD Caturday!

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Posted by scott at 08:27 AM eMail this entry!
July 30, 2007
Ajax's Memorial Portrait

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My good friend Gabby over at her personal art site did this for me. She did Ted also.

We love it! It really captures his spirit. We LOVE you Ajax!

Posted by Ellen at 07:26 PM eMail this entry!
July 27, 2007
Caturday Eleventy-First

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Another Friday, another AMCGLTD Caturday. This time with ottery goodness!

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Posted by scott at 08:30 AM eMail this entry!
July 23, 2007
Goodnight Lovie

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July 22, 2007

I have shared with you your laughter,
You have wet my fur with tears.
We've come to know each other
Throughout these many years.
Just one more hug this morning
Before you drive away,
And know I'll think about you
Throughout your busy day.

The time we've left together
Is a treasured time at that.
My heart is yours forever.
I Promise

- This old cat.

~partial poem by KC Bigamon

Posted by Ellen at 08:30 AM eMail this entry!
June 28, 2007
June 23, 2007
This Explains the Week

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Posted by Ellen at 01:38 PM eMail this entry!
CATURDAY!

Thanks to Nina who reminded us about Caturday! We forgot! Hey we are on vacation here! Give us a break!

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~ENJOY!

Posted by Ellen at 09:19 AM eMail this entry!
June 19, 2007
Not Just a Good Idea, It's the Law

Mark gets a no-prize that'll puke on his floors for bringing us the laws of cat physics. Now if only they'd find a cure for some of these laws!

Posted by Ellen at 09:47 AM eMail this entry!
June 07, 2007
Cats in Things

They even has buckett! Yeah, it's silly, but no worse than that damned "Kitty Cat" song.

Posted by Ellen at 07:59 AM eMail this entry!
June 05, 2007
Everyone Say "Awww..."

I know I can't have a small dog Scott!

Sprinkle regularly grooms the kitten, licking its face and body. She protects the kitten from people reaching in to pick her up. Even though she’s not producing milk, the dog tries to nurse the kitten. The unlikely pair also sleep together, curled up with the kitten’s head resting on Sprinkle’s body.

Posted by Ellen at 09:32 PM eMail this entry!
May 31, 2007
Costly Kitty

Fark linked up news of a new "domestic" cat breed. Named "Ashera," this exotic crossbreeding of two wild cat lines and a domestic line results in what looks to be more a smallish cheetah than a large house cat. Yours for only $22,000.

Little f'er would probably still yak on my carpet.

No Ellen, you can't have one.

Posted by scott at 09:12 AM eMail this entry!
May 29, 2007
Weer in Ur Cold War...

Lissnin' in:

The CIA tried to uncover the Kremlin's deepest secrets during the 1960s by turning cats into walking bugging devices, recently declassified documents show.

In one experiment during the Cold War a cat, dubbed Acoustic Kitty, was wired up for use as an eavesdropping platform. It was hoped that the animal - which was surgically altered to accommodate transmitting and control devices - could listen to secret conversations from window sills, park benches or dustbins.

As with most hair-brained Cold War schemes, this one ended in a tragic farce.

Posted by scott at 11:42 AM eMail this entry!
May 21, 2007
En Memoriam

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December 9, 1999 - May 21 2006

Constant as the stars above
Always know that you are loved.

Posted by Ellen at 11:30 AM eMail this entry!
May 15, 2007
I Has...

bucket

Yeah yeah I know...no cats. But hey! They have whiskers!

Posted by Ellen at 09:50 PM eMail this entry!
May 13, 2007
UUrrppp!

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The latest photo of our foster baby! Thanks to Ron and Amber for the 'caturday' post!

Posted by Ellen at 09:54 PM eMail this entry!
May 06, 2007
OH THE TORTURE!

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Posted by Ellen at 07:37 AM eMail this entry!
May 05, 2007
Pussy

A Canada Post spokeswoman said the agency was concerned about the safety of its carriers, although it hoped for an amicable solution to its dispute with cat-owner John Samborski.

"The letter carrier who delivers mail there ... was brought up on a farm, she is very comfortable with animals," spokewoman Kathi Neal told the newspaper. "Apparently this is a very threatening cat."

What do you expect from a Canadian?

Posted by Ellen at 05:16 PM eMail this entry!
May 02, 2007
Pink Worm

Thanks to Amber for sending us this!

Posted by Ellen at 06:10 PM eMail this entry!
Kitten Quote

"When you believe there is no love in the world, just gaze into the eyes of the cat in your lap."

Posted by Ellen at 01:38 PM eMail this entry!
April 27, 2007
Even More Catz

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Posted by scott at 03:29 PM eMail this entry!
April 24, 2007
No!

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Apropos of nothing, just thought it was a funny picture.

Posted by scott at 08:42 AM eMail this entry!
April 23, 2007
Got Nip?

While the narration is in German, videos of cats gorking themselves stupid on catnip pretty much speak for themselves. I tell ya, there aughta be a law!

Posted by scott at 08:39 AM eMail this entry!
April 13, 2007
Dominus hubiscum habisco. Esperitu sanctum. Dey gas da bus. Me gas da bus. You gas da bus. We missed the bus. They missed the bus. When's the next bus?

Nina gets a no-prize that's too clever by half for bringing us news of a kitty that's learned to take the bus to the nearest fish and chips shop. I'm lucky if ours are smart enough to make it to the food dish without running into something. Twice.

Posted by scott at 12:59 PM eMail this entry!
April 12, 2007
Feed An Animal In Need

HELP!! The Animal Rescue needs your HELP!!

Feed An Animal In Need. Just click the link and click on the purple button. Each click give 0.6 bowl of food to an animal.

Click daily! We even have the link on our site! On the left side below our topics.

Posted by Ellen at 08:21 PM eMail this entry!
April 11, 2007
Even More Silly Cat Pix
JCitsSparta.jpg

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Posted by scott at 10:24 AM eMail this entry!
April 04, 2007
DIE IN A FIRE AMBER!!

This is what happens to Amber at my house every time she comes over. Mind you Magrat is black, but it is the SAME thing!

Poor Amber. She has been watching the AMCGLTD bunch for nearly...er...5-7 years now.

Magrat still hates her. We have no idea why, but she feels Amber needs to "die in a fire."

A very hissy spitty NO-PRIZE to Amber for the link!

Posted by Ellen at 07:29 PM eMail this entry!
March 27, 2007
Happy BIrthday Coconut!!

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We love you!

Posted by Ellen at 06:45 AM eMail this entry!
March 25, 2007
What!?!

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I get paid to do this.

Posted by Ellen at 05:39 PM eMail this entry!
March 22, 2007
Abbey Cat
abbey1.jpg
Posted by Ellen at 10:13 PM eMail this entry!
March 20, 2007
Chainsaw Time!

Jerred tried luring the cat.

"Here, kitty, kitty," Black said.

The cat fidgeted, but even chicken wings didn't do the trick.

Then, someone suggested grabbing a chain saw.

Chuck headed to the truck. Michael moved down the ladder, grabbed the chain saw and cranked it up. He handed it to Jerred.

Black handed out cans of Sierra Mist soda to the workers and her family.

It's not what you think! Read the whole story!

Posted by Ellen at 07:03 AM eMail this entry!
March 18, 2007
Weer In Ur Pondz Eatin Ur Geeses

weerinyerpondz.jpg

Skippy on a walk at the goose pond. Notice the ferocity of this cat! GRR!! I say! GRR!!

Posted by Ellen at 08:41 PM eMail this entry!
Cat Food Recall

Get rid of it now and contact the company.

Recall Information 1-866-895-2708

  • Americas Choice, Preferred Pets
  • Authority *
  • Best Choice
  • Companion
  • Compliments
  • Demoulas Market Basket
  • Eukanuba *
  • Fine Feline Cat
  • Food Lion *
  • Foodtown *
  • Giant Companion *
  • Hannaford
  • Hill Country Fare
  • Hy-Vee
  • Iams *
  • Laura Lynn
  • Li'l Red
  • Loving Meals
  • Meijer's Main Choice
  • Nutriplan
  • Nutro Max Gourmet Classics *
  • Nutro Natural Choice *
  • Paws
  • Pet Pride *
  • Presidents Choice
  • Price Chopper *
  • Priority *
  • Save-A-Lot
  • Schnucks
  • Science Diet Feline Savory Cuts Cans *
  • Sophistacat *
  • Special Kitty Canada
  • Special Kitty US
  • Springfield Prize
  • Sprout
  • Total Pet
  • Wegmans *
  • Western Family
  • White Rose
  • Winn Dixie

*=cat food that is found easily in PetsMart and Petco

Posted by Ellen at 01:44 PM eMail this entry!
March 10, 2007
Cat in Space!

No-PRIZE to Amber for sending us this little ditty.

Posted by Ellen at 09:45 AM eMail this entry!
March 09, 2007
Deep Tissue Cat Massage

A very orange kitty massage NO-PRIZE to my Dad for sending us this.

It's even dubbed in English from cat speak!

Posted by Ellen at 07:03 PM eMail this entry!
Laser Cats!

If SNL was this funny all the time, I'd probably still be watching it. Lots of great in-jokes for the indie movie crowd to appreciate as well. Plus cats with lasers!

Posted by scott at 01:02 PM eMail this entry!
March 02, 2007
Ajax in The Sink

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One of Ajax's favorite spots.

Posted by Ellen at 07:50 PM eMail this entry!
March 01, 2007
You Have a Hippo On Your Head! A Hippo On Your Head!

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Thanks to Amber and Ron for subjecting Skippy to this type of humiliation!

Posted by Ellen at 07:00 AM eMail this entry!
February 28, 2007
Thank You

AMCGLTD just wanted to THANK everyone for their sympathy of Ajax. Our "A" of AMCGLTD is going to be missed greatly.

Thank you for the flowers Amber. They really made my day.

Posted by Ellen at 12:04 PM eMail this entry!
February 22, 2007
Moor Kat Pix!

As dumb as they are, I can't get enough of them. This one was triggered by a polydactyl story on Fark.

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Posted by scott at 01:04 PM eMail this entry!
February 14, 2007
Foiled Again!

Curse You Villain Medium Web view.jpg
Posted by Ellen at 08:06 PM eMail this entry!
February 12, 2007
And the Cat Goes, "Gobble Gobble Gobble"

Trust me, in reverse, the sound is nothing like a vacuum. More like a clogged toilet that's been accidentally connected to a misfiring diesel engine, sort of thing. Sometimes I wonder why they even bother to eat.

Posted by scott at 11:51 AM eMail this entry!
February 11, 2007
Goodnight Gertie

gertifoo.jpg

2-11-07

The last of the original Clinic Cats are gone. My hospital is going to be very empty. Night night Gertie. Ellen loves you no matter how yucky everyone thought you were. I still loved you and held you and cleaned you up.

Posted by Ellen at 06:10 PM eMail this entry!
February 08, 2007
~ Spank / My Booty / C'mon and Spank My Booty ~

Around our house Ajax is the S&M kitty, but he's got nothing on this tuxedo cat. Never thought of using actual paddles, but it's probably just as well, since Olivia would chase all the cats around with them.

Posted by scott at 11:46 AM eMail this entry!
February 07, 2007
I Know Ellen Would Watch

Two words: cat accountants. Hey, as long as you don't mind them barfing on your tax return, it's all good.

Posted by scott at 10:57 AM eMail this entry!
February 04, 2007
That Company Better Have Good Insurance...

because if this ever became mainstream, it would kill a lot of cats just from fright alone.

You may find the video funny, but when you see a cat come in from a groomer that was hung or had a jaw broken, its' not so funny anymore.

Posted by Ellen at 10:34 AM eMail this entry!
Nothing Says I Love You More Than...
Posted by Ellen at 09:44 AM eMail this entry!
February 02, 2007
Hercules, Hercules!

Garrison and Pica are large cats no more. No, Ellen, you can't have him. You either, Amber.

Posted by scott at 08:41 AM eMail this entry!
January 29, 2007
Cat...Err..Hamster Wheel?
Posted by Ellen at 08:22 PM eMail this entry!
January 28, 2007
Weer In Ur Houzez Eating Ur Petz

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Uma the Hutt

Posted by Ellen at 09:44 PM eMail this entry!
Weer In Ur Houzez, Steelin Ur Tee Towlz

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Aw c'mon Ron! You were asking for it!

Posted by Ellen at 09:38 PM eMail this entry!
January 25, 2007
Nope, not Gonna Say it

I think I'll call them "Brazillianed Cats" instead. Ellen does this to cats all the time. She claims they feel lots better afterward, but to me they always look enormously pissed off.

Posted by scott at 03:04 PM eMail this entry!
January 24, 2007
Paging Steve Austin's Cat, White Courtesy Phone Please

Slashdot linked up news of the development of new electronic retinal implants meant to fight degenerative retinal diseases. In humans and cats, no less. I wonder if they'll make a weird "boopity-boopity" noise when they're used?

The sad thing is, there are a lot of people out there who won't get the reference. Damned kids.

Posted by scott at 08:50 AM eMail this entry!
January 18, 2007
Cats In The Box
killingyourdoodz Medium Web view.jpg

One more!

Posted by Ellen at 12:35 PM eMail this entry!
I Do Not Want Pancakes

Donotwantcatpancake Medium Web view.jpg

Found via Scott on the web!

Posted by Ellen at 12:33 PM eMail this entry!
January 08, 2007
Fun with "Tapeu"

I'm pretty sure we linked up a previous version of the Japanese being clever with a cat and some packing tape, but it still gives me a chuckle to watch. Ajax is that laid back, but he'd still most likely run away after the first time you taped him up. With any of the others, you'd most likely not get your hand back the second time.

Posted by scott at 01:23 PM eMail this entry!
December 21, 2006
The Santa Claws

If it's silly, stilted, and full of cats, you know we're going to link it. The best part is I can re-cast it almost person-for-person with our friends. EllBer were particularly easy to spot.

Posted by scott at 04:10 PM eMail this entry!
December 19, 2006
Lasermouse!

MUST! CATCH! TASTY! SHINY! RED! MOUSE!!! Our cats loved these things so much all I had to do was swing the key chain part silently in the air to get them running from the other side of the house. Nowadays they're all too old to go after them this fast, but they will still chase them whenever they show up.

Posted by scott at 03:31 PM eMail this entry!
December 18, 2006
Bop!

One of the Christmas presents delivered to NY was one of the "Pod Bayz" kittens, given to Ellen's Dad's family. We think probably the middle one in that particular picture (they grew up a lot and we never did name any of them, all have been adopted since). It's a good thing the proud family doesn't have other cats, because if they did I'm sure this would eventually happen to him.

Instead, by the reactions we saw, there's going to be a whole lot of education going on with the two dogs already in the house. Watching an eight-ounce kitten holding off a 60-pound dog is quite instructive. To everyone.

Posted by scott at 10:27 AM eMail this entry!
December 09, 2006
Cat Shaped Hole in My Heart

December 9th, 1999

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Happy 7th Birthday. Mommy misses you and wishes you were here with her for your kisses and hugs. Remember when I told you that you had to wait till your 7th birthday to leave me? You left me early, and not a day goes by that I do not think of you sitting on my kitchen counter waiting for your heart medication or sitting on my lap making biscuits for an hour. I even miss you talking to me while I was in the shower in the morning and helping me get ready for work everyday, and I miss seeing you sitting at the top of the steps waiting for me when I got back. You were my special little guy.

Keep watching out for me. I need all the help I can get.

AMCGLTD will be closed the rest of the weekend. Thank You for your understanding.Please enjoy our archives. We will start posting again on Monday.

Posted by Ellen at 10:49 PM eMail this entry!
December 04, 2006
Going Home!!

HOOORAYY!!! No more kittens as of today!

It was nice while we had one, but time for them to move on to find homes.

Well, two of them are going. One is going to NY.

Posted by Ellen at 11:19 AM eMail this entry!
December 01, 2006
Weer On Ur Couchez, Steelin' Ur Childrenz

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Posted by Ellen at 08:44 PM eMail this entry!
Got Milkz?

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Posted by Ellen at 07:33 PM eMail this entry!
What Happens When Olivia Picks Out A Kitten

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NO! We aren't keeping any!

Posted by Ellen at 07:23 PM eMail this entry!
November 28, 2006
Nigga Please

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Too funny not to share :)

Posted by Ellen at 08:56 PM eMail this entry!
O Holy Meow...
Posted by Ellen at 08:45 PM eMail this entry!
Overload!
Posted by scott at 12:40 PM eMail this entry!
Fat Cat - Thin Cat

Turns out what's good for humans is what's good for cats: eat less, exercise more. The most effective diet plans I've read or heard about revolve not around some exotic quick fix, but instead around different strategies for portion control and exercise. It's not eating specific things, rather eating less of everything, and moving around a bit more.

Which, as with most important things, is far easier said than done.

Posted by scott at 09:00 AM eMail this entry!
November 25, 2006
Hey It's Starting To Go Up and Down the Steps

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Posted by Ellen at 09:35 PM eMail this entry!
November 21, 2006
Weer In Ur Pod Bayz

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Opinin ur doorz!

In our day, it was condoms in a sock, and a backpack!

Posted by Ellen at 08:11 PM eMail this entry!
Dirty Kitten!

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Did I mention they smell?

Posted by Ellen at 06:59 PM eMail this entry!
KITTENS!!

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Yes, it's that time again! We get kittens! Now Teddy is gone and cannot tell us NO now, we get kittens to care for! Complete in their own cooking oven/space shuttle!

Posted by Ellen at 06:56 PM eMail this entry!
~ Some People Want to Fill the World with Silly Cat Pix ~
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And what's wrong with that?

Posted by scott at 12:16 PM eMail this entry!
November 19, 2006
Jungle Love

Some kitty out there has some explaining to do.

Posted by Ellen at 05:33 PM eMail this entry!
November 12, 2006
Stanley

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Stanley is a cat I am taking care of this weekend at home. He has a severe infection from a declaw since his owner failed to follow post-operative instructions.

He has had open toes since Tuesday and as of yesterday, the daily bandages were stopped. It's looking good for Stanley!

Posted by Ellen at 04:24 PM eMail this entry!
November 02, 2006
Gimme that Paper!

Why this isn't on AFV I don't know. Our cats have attacked various pieces of computer equipment over the years, but not with this much gusto. They much prefer widdling on things when given the choice. More destructive and much sneakier!

Posted by scott at 12:50 PM eMail this entry!
October 31, 2006
Candy Aftermath
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Uggh... my belly.

Another instance of the usefullness of the Emergency Back Up Cat. Trust me, you really do not want to see what actually happened*.

....
*OK, not really, she's fine. But it made for a really nice joke! AND I got to put a picture of a cat up!

Posted by Ellen at 08:11 PM eMail this entry!
October 24, 2006
Caption Fun

Well of course we won't link a series of goofy cat photos. I mean, why would you think we'd do something like that? Silly readers...

Posted by scott at 08:39 AM eMail this entry!
October 23, 2006
Now Why Didn't I Think of That

Cat owners will most likely not be surprised by this:

A 67-year-old woman of Rosdorf in Schleswig Holstein, Germany, accidentally sent her cat Felix, in the mail, after the animal snuck inside the parcel she was sending to her nephew.

The little monsters get everywhere, especially in boxes. No worries though, cat is fine.

Posted by scott at 02:41 PM eMail this entry!
October 21, 2006
Fishing Cat

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We went to the new Asia Trail at the National Zoo and I got this shot right through the glass of the Fishing Cat.

Posted by Ellen at 10:10 PM eMail this entry!
October 16, 2006
Garrison Snoozing
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Amber sent me some pixes to share with you all.

Posted by Ellen at 07:02 AM eMail this entry!
September 27, 2006
Tour Groupie

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Apparently this cat was hanging out by the tour bus. Props to Nina for the pix!

Posted by Ellen at 09:43 PM eMail this entry!
September 25, 2006
Paging Mark T., White Courtesy Phone Please

Those deathly allergic to cats (like our good friend Mark) may find the introduction of a supposedly hypoallergenic cat of interest. $4000 will buy a lot of fancy coins though, so something tells me we probably won't see a new addition to his home any time soon.

Posted by scott at 10:04 AM eMail this entry!
September 19, 2006
Hey, at Least That One is Useful

Mahmood's latest videoblog has a novel use for a cat. Oh relax, the cat is fine. Nice to see they can clean as well as they can mess.

Posted by scott at 02:21 PM eMail this entry!
September 09, 2006
Lay an Egg

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Yes, that is OM and Goblin hanging out in the kitchen together.

Posted by Ellen at 04:28 PM eMail this entry!
August 31, 2006
Devil Kitty

I wonder if this is what Ellen means when she says a cat is "cage aggressive"? I'm not sure which would be scarier, that this is an example, or that it's not.

Posted by scott at 01:15 PM eMail this entry!
August 27, 2006
The Ted Tat

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Quarter sleeve. Nearly 5 hours in the chair. Minimal pain. I LOVE it.

Constant as the Stars Above, Always Know that You are Loved

12.9.99 - 5.21.06
Posted by Ellen at 12:18 PM eMail this entry!
August 25, 2006
The Preliminary Sketch

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Tomorrow I get this tattoo done on my arm for Ted, there are small changes to be made, but I cannot wait.

Posted by Ellen at 07:39 PM eMail this entry!
August 23, 2006
Scubakitty!

Joshua gets a no-prize that can breathe underwater for bringing us this video about a scuba diving cat. No, really!

I'd seen pictures of this (or perhaps of the scuba dog), but never anything detailed. The kitty is remarkably stoic about it all. Ours would explode in a panicked furball and not be right for weeks if we tried something like this with them. Except maybe for Goblin, who is pretty fearless in the face of the unknown. She'd probably be busy trying to leverage it into increasing her status with the gang.

No Amber, you can't have one. You either, Ellen.

Posted by scott at 11:39 AM eMail this entry!
August 17, 2006
Score One for Captain Obvious

Then again, considering how dumb a lot of people are with their pets, they probably do need to be told:

Before you make good on threats to banish your misbehaved cat to the local shelter, consider this: Fluffy’s chances of finding a new home may not be as rosy as you might hope.

Felines surrendered by their owners are more stressed, fall ill more easily and are therefore euthanized more often than their stray counterparts at the shelter, according to new research by Kathryn Dybdall at the University of Nebraska in Omaha, US.

Cats around Ellen just naturally end up living 6 times longer than they would otherwise, but that's not what you'd call a typical case. Take care of your damned pets, people!

Posted by scott at 01:10 PM eMail this entry!
Kitty Bling

You know we had to link this one:

This cool cat has traded in his catnip for some bling. Sebastian, a one-year-old Persian with long black hair, sports gold crowns on his two bottom canines, which grew sticking out from his lips in an underbite similar to a bulldog's.

I know, from being married to someone who is often a dentist for cats, that the standard procedure is to simply pull the teeth. Ellen pulls them so often I'm surprised cats have any teeth left when she's done with them. Probably this is because almost all their cats are old, and we all know every cat in the world is rotten.

Posted by scott at 09:30 AM eMail this entry!
August 14, 2006
Robobox

Robert H. gets a useful but complex no-prize for bringing us the latest in robotic litter boxes. Of course, for this to work in our house we'd actually have to get them to start using litterboxes. Consistently, I mean.

Proposed Fark headline: "New litter box provides hands-free cleaning, searches for Sarah Conner"

Posted by scott at 08:12 AM eMail this entry!
August 05, 2006
Sassy
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Also known as Sassafrass.

Posted by Ellen at 10:18 PM eMail this entry!
Yoda Cat

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I do not know what it is about that sink...

Posted by Ellen at 10:16 PM eMail this entry!
Maggie

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Maggie is an old lady that boards with us on occasion

Posted by Ellen at 10:14 PM eMail this entry!
July 31, 2006
SCOOOP!

Cute daily cat photos brought to you by Scoop Away cat litter.

Posted by Ellen at 07:06 AM eMail this entry!
July 28, 2006
Cat Burgling!

As if the gardeners of Pelham don't have enough to worry about, with the rocky soil and the slugs and the big trees casting too much shade, a feline felon has been sneaking into their back yards and carrying off gardening gloves.

Read entire missing gloves story here.

Thanks to Mark for the link!

Posted by Ellen at 07:13 PM eMail this entry!
July 19, 2006
Lick...lick...lick...lick...

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Posted by Ellen at 09:04 PM eMail this entry!
July 18, 2006
Fuzzy Fuehrers

"AMCGLTD," we hear you ask, "I think my cats are up to no good. They widdle on the walls, puke on the carpets, try to trip me down the stairs, and knocked an heirloom vase off the counter to shatter on the floor. Why, just last night I woke up in the middle of the night and found the fuzzy monsters staring at me!

But I'm not sure. Are there any examples of other cats with grandiose designs on someone's household?"

Fear not, friendly cat cringer, AMCGLTD is here to help! Presenting Cats that Look Like Hitler.com, your one-stop-shop for four-footed Godwin's Law violators. It's all there, in glorious color and black-and-white photos. Some of them even seem to be saluting! Act now! The France you save may be your own!

Posted by scott at 10:02 AM eMail this entry!
July 14, 2006
Kitten with two faces

Here's one for Ellen and Amber. A kitten was born in Ohio that has two faces. FTA, the two mouths open and meow in unison. They didn't say where in Ohio, so you all escape hearing a story of how I've been there, but at least it's Ohio.

via Fark

Yes, I do try to avoid linking up too many Fark things, but this is a kitty thing, so I think I'm morally obligated as the blog-sitter...

Posted by ron at 09:06 AM eMail this entry!
July 10, 2006
Foreplay Panther Style

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No really! There was serious panther PrOn happening!

Posted by Ellen at 03:53 PM eMail this entry!
Me and Patches

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One of the rare pixes of me with no makeup. But hey, at least there is a cat in the photo!

Posted by Ellen at 03:47 PM eMail this entry!
Meow?

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Posted by Ellen at 03:41 PM eMail this entry!
July 08, 2006
Lala Nala

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One of Grandma Pat's cats.

Posted by Ellen at 06:31 PM eMail this entry!
July 04, 2006
Fun with Fish

Lisa R. gets a really heavy no prize for bringing us yet more evidence that the Japanese simply have too much time on their hands. This one avoided the "Weird & F'd Up" category only because of its stars.

Posted by scott at 08:11 AM eMail this entry!
July 03, 2006
Coconut Kisses

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Posted by Ellen at 08:27 PM eMail this entry!
Me and The Coconut

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Posted by Ellen at 08:20 PM eMail this entry!
Magrat the Photo Assistant

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Here, let me help you get this backdrop all straight. I know...don't move the bottle cause it's your center point. This is my job. I'm an assistant remember? I make things better for you. *HORK HORK HORK...BLEEEEH!!!* See? All better now.

Posted by Ellen at 08:11 PM eMail this entry!
July 02, 2006
And for My First Link Back...
Posted by scott at 12:03 PM eMail this entry!
June 27, 2006
It's A Precious

True story!

Several years ago I was asked by Tina, an asstant of mine, if I ever heard of a cat breed called a 'precious'. Turns out neither of us had never heard of it.

When I went to the client inquiring about the cat, I noticed that she looked like a regular short haired cat. Nothing fancy, no blue hair, stubby legs, or tin foil hats anywhere.

But the owner was rather insistant that the cat was a new breed called a 'precious'.

The nice thing about new clients is that they normally bring their breeder papers in with them.

A-ha! a phone number!

Three minutes into the phone call the breeder is laughing out loud at me. "That's not a precious! She is just a regular short haired cat! Her name is Precious.

DOH!

Posted by Ellen at 04:09 PM eMail this entry!
June 15, 2006
As Long as They Don't End Up in My House

Pat gets a meowing no-prize for bringing us news of the latest in reality shows:

Ten cats in search of owners will spend the next 10 days in a New York store window, their every move caught on camera for a reality TV show on which they will compete for best sleeper and mouse-catcher.

No "best widdler"? There goes our bunch's chances.

Posted by scott at 08:20 AM eMail this entry!
June 12, 2006
Meow, Damn You! Meow!

Also from fark, a picture of the wussy bear and the loony cat. I'm sure this looks like one or more of the cats Ellen and/or Amber work with/own/are possesed by, I just can't think of any names right now.

Posted by scott at 09:38 AM eMail this entry!
June 10, 2006
Get Off My Lawn! Meow!

Pat gets a hissing, spitting no-prize for bringing us further proof that cats can be dumb and crazy:

A black bear picked the wrong yard for a jaunt, running into a territorial tabby who ran the furry beast up a tree -- twice.

Mine would just show him the best places to widdle on the carpet.

Posted by scott at 07:56 AM eMail this entry!
May 24, 2006
Thank You

Many thanks to everyone for your kind words, flowers, and your shoulder to cry on when I needed it the most.

Posted by Ellen at 09:25 AM eMail this entry!
May 23, 2006
Cat Poem

They will not go quietly, the cats who've shared our lives. In subtle ways they let us know their spirit still survives.

Old habits still make us think we hear a meow at the door. Or step back when we drop a tasty morsel on the floor.

Our feet still go around the place the food dish used to be, And, sometimes, coming home at night, we miss them terribly.

And although time may bring new friends and a new food dish to fill, That one place in our hearts belongs to them. . . and always will.

- Linda Barnes

Posted by Ellen at 07:24 PM eMail this entry!
May 22, 2006
My Handsome Boy
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Posted by Ellen at 09:14 PM eMail this entry!
Chocolate Chips

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Posted by Ellen at 09:10 PM eMail this entry!
Hugs Part Deux!

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Did I mention he LOVED hugs.

Posted by Ellen at 09:04 PM eMail this entry!
Hugs

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MANY thanks to my sister, Nina, who sent me a pix I have never seen this side of. My heart aches for Teddy. I feel like I lost a child.

Posted by Ellen at 09:00 PM eMail this entry!
May 21, 2006
En Memoriam

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December 9, 1999 - May 21 2006

Constant as the stars above
Always know that you are loved.

Posted by Ellen at 10:01 PM eMail this entry!
April 28, 2006
You Mean This Doesn't Happen Every Day?

Because around my house it sure does:

Felinophiles may want to be extra alert this morning, because today is National Hairball Awareness Day. Unless it was yesterday. There's some confusion about the date. No matter. For people who own cats - a third of all American households, half of those with two or more - hair balls are an issue that keeps coming up.

Those who think cats are the epitome of style and elegance have obviously not been paying attention when they cross their eyes, arch their back, and then turn themselves inside out on your carpet.

Posted by scott at 10:08 AM eMail this entry!
April 15, 2006
More Shaggy Cat Stories

Pat gets a dim but cute no-prize for bringing us yet another tale of a seriously stuck mouser:

The epic search for Molly, the black, 11-month-old fraidy-cat stuck in the wall of a Greenwich village food store for two weeks, ended in jubilation last night after rescue workers spotted her in a small opening and quickly yanked her to safety.

Since cat pee is a universal solvent, my bunch would have little trouble getting their butts out of a situation like this. Of course, the very first time a hunger pang hit one they'd most likely die of surprise, so I guess it all evens out in the end.

Posted by scott at 03:51 PM eMail this entry!
April 10, 2006
Uh-Oh...

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I'm sure you can guess what happened to me next.

Posted by Ellen at 08:59 PM eMail this entry!
April 06, 2006
Thumpa-Thumpa

It's amazing how much fun you can have with a bit of looped video and the right soundtrack. Seems the cat most likely didn't have any claws. Ours always treated Olivia as an alarming self-propelled noise maker, and steered clear at all times. Now that she can actually pet pretty effectively, there's usually one or another nearby trying to score a free scratch or two.

Posted by scott at 12:43 PM eMail this entry!
The Good Kind of Cat House

Mike P. gets a fuzzy-cuddly no-prize that will widdle on his carpet when he's not looking for bringing us news of The Cat House on Kings, which claims to be "[A] unique, no-cage, no-kill environment."

Not a darned thing wrong with that!

Posted by scott at 08:46 AM eMail this entry!
April 03, 2006
Abby

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Posted by Ellen at 08:59 PM eMail this entry!
Have A Sip Miss Kippers

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Amber will want her cat back one day. She has been in my upstairs bathroom since 4 today and even helped O with her bath at 7:30.

Posted by Ellen at 08:58 PM eMail this entry!
Yes, Our Cats Get Email Spam Too

Hello Coconut.

An anonymous woman with big boobs covered in whipcream.

From Johnny,
A housewife toying from Billy.

Mind you, this is a very crappy email from someone that cannot speak english.

Posted by Ellen at 05:50 PM eMail this entry!
March 29, 2006
When Cats Attack

No, really, when cats attack:

Residents of the neighborhood of Sunset Circle say they have been terrorized by a crazy cat named Lewis.

Lewis for his part has been uniquely cited, personally issued a restraining order by the town's animal control officer.

If I thought it would keep my cats from peeing, puking, or crapping on my stuff (around here we call it "placing the insides on the outside") I'd be all over a restraining order. As it is, it'd only be a matter of time before one of them peed on it.

Kinda says it all, no?

Posted by scott at 08:14 AM eMail this entry!
March 27, 2006
Guess Who is 9!?!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COCONUT!

Posted by Ellen at 07:00 AM eMail this entry!
March 22, 2006
SQEEEZE!

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Katina (one of my assistants), and Maxine.

Posted by Ellen at 07:53 PM eMail this entry!
Lick

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Max, he likes to lick.

Posted by Ellen at 07:50 PM eMail this entry!
FEATHERS!!!!

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Oh please can I have that feather teaser!?!

Posted by Ellen at 06:53 PM eMail this entry!
Gertie

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One of the clinic cats. Gert is 14 years old and has motor disfunction due to her mom having panleukopenia when she was born.

Posted by Ellen at 06:38 PM eMail this entry!
Maxine

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Posted by Ellen at 06:29 PM eMail this entry!
March 11, 2006
Just Because...

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I like to sit on a pony does not make me gay. Well I'm not! I'm neutred!

Posted by Ellen at 02:23 PM eMail this entry!
March 10, 2006
Shaggy Cat Story

Cats and primates, part II:

Tondalayo, a 45-year-old Sumatran orangutan, and T.J., a stray tabby cat, became an inseparable duo after a zoo employee introduced them late last year.

So sweet it makes my teeth hurt...

Posted by scott at 02:35 PM eMail this entry!
Finally, Something that'll Pee on Them
Posted by scott at 12:20 PM eMail this entry!
March 01, 2006
I Knew the Little Monsters were Evil

After all these years, finally a cat trifecta:

Four European countries today imposed restrictions on the movements of cats after a dead cat in Germany was discovered to have been infected with bird flu.

Now, I'm probably just a tool of the VRWC* here, but I've read in more than one place that flu in and of itself does not kill, it's the secondary infections (mostly pneumonias) that get you. Since, unlike 1917, we have shots for pretty much all of that, and, unlike most of modern East Asia, we have a functioning infrastructure and a population that knows medicine works better than ground up tiger wang, I'm thinking maybe I probably aught not worry too much about the ol' bird flu. Besides, my mom worries enough for six people, so I'm figuring me, Ellen, Olivia, and at least three other people can be calm and happy because of that alone.

-----
* Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy

Posted by scott at 02:30 PM eMail this entry!
Talking Cats

Why yes they really DO talk!

Doesn't your cat talk? My cats talk? Everyone's cats should talk!

Posted by Ellen at 09:40 AM eMail this entry!
Attack of The Cat Paw!
Posted by Ellen at 07:27 AM eMail this entry!
February 27, 2006
Of Course We Have to Link it

Fark linked up this article detailing the "latest" (as of, it would seem, at least 1992) on the why and how of cat purring. Personally, I'm much more interested in the why's of cat puking, since ours regularly attempt to turn themselves inside out on whatever new bit of furniture we've recently acquired. Such a charming habit...

Posted by scott at 08:50 AM eMail this entry!
February 13, 2006
Coco

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Posted by Ellen at 09:00 PM eMail this entry!
February 12, 2006
Coco(Don't Make Me Kick Your Ass)Nut

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Posted by Ellen at 12:06 PM eMail this entry!
February 07, 2006
Kiss My Nose

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Posted by Ellen at 06:12 PM eMail this entry!
Gold Eyes

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Posted by Ellen at 06:05 PM eMail this entry!
February 03, 2006
Certainly Cuter than Janet's Floppy Boob

While we'll have to give The Puppy Bowl a miss, the half-time kitten show may end up being "must-view". Click the link for previews, including one that elegantly displays the distilled fuzzy insanity that is a kitten.

Posted by scott at 03:47 PM eMail this entry!
January 27, 2006
Lilly

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The best cat you could ever make out with :)

Posted by Ellen at 09:53 PM eMail this entry!
Look Into My Eyes

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Posted by Ellen at 09:40 PM eMail this entry!
India at The Sink

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Posted by Ellen at 09:30 PM eMail this entry!
January 22, 2006
Feline Assistance

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Cats always seem to help when sewing impliments are out.

Posted by Ellen at 05:59 PM eMail this entry!
January 18, 2006
Norman

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Posted by Ellen at 02:56 PM eMail this entry!
Bentley

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Posted by Ellen at 02:55 PM eMail this entry!
Room With A View

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Posted by Ellen at 02:52 PM eMail this entry!
January 12, 2006
Ours Would be Much Easier to Find

Ours would simply pee their way out:

A basement remodeling project left Jany Chumas with one question after the drywalling was done where's Mary Poppins? Chumas' pet cat was nowhere to be found after the workers installed drywall in a room Jan. 2.

There's also this weird special food cocktail that Ellen mixes up for Cats that Won't Eat. When she brings it home the stuff acts like a giant cat magnet, they call come running. Ajax licks whatever surface the stuff has sat on long after it's been moved, and they all vulture around for hours wherever it happens to be. If they'd had that to put down in that basement, I bet that cat would've chewed its way through the drywall right quick.

Posted by scott at 01:51 PM eMail this entry!
January 11, 2006
Cyclops Kitten
Posted by Ellen at 09:14 PM eMail this entry!
Cat Traces

BBCnews is carrying this article summarizing new discoveries about the evolution of cats. By studying mitocondrial DNA in living cats, scientists have determined they evolved from a common ancestor in present-day Asia some 11 million years ago:

The Panthera lineage, which includes the lion, jaguar, and tiger, emerged first. This was followed rapidly by a group of three Asian species - the bay cat, Asian golden cat and marbled cat; three African Species (caracal, African golden cat and serval) and the path that led to the New World ocelot.

If I recall my human origins classes correctly, this would put cats evolving at roughly the same time as apes, and in more or less the same areas. No wonder the wee beasties always look like they want to kill us!

Posted by scott at 01:24 PM eMail this entry!
January 02, 2006
Gwen

I took a picture of a cat named Gwen in July. She is sitting on a ladder. She was black and white.

This weekend I learned she was euthanized because of renal failure.

I really liked that cat.

Posted by Ellen at 09:16 AM eMail this entry!
December 29, 2005
Shaggy Cat Story

Joshua gets a warm & fuzzy no-prize for bringing us Henry's World:

Henry’s World tells of an intrepid tripod cat who wins the hearts of two self-avowed "dog people". Inspired by Henry’s resilience and zest for life, they shared his adventures via email with a few friends. In eight months Henry’s email folder swelled to 2000 letters from around the world. Henry’s new "e- mail" paw pals teach him much and many confide in him their own setbacks and tales of survival.

One of our own "misfits" is a fuzzy black ball of three-legged evil known as Goblin. When we moved from our apartment to this house, she staged her very own "palace coup", overthrowing the established cat order and placing herself at the top. Where once three to four cats would sleep on our bed, now there is only one. Choice perch spots (that she can actually reach) are taken at will. Food sharing happens to other cats.

Now if we could only get her to stop tossing her cookies once a week...

Posted by scott at 02:14 PM eMail this entry!
December 09, 2005
Happy 6th Birthday Ted!

Happy Birthday Ted E. Bear!

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Posted by Ellen at 06:45 AM eMail this entry!
November 06, 2005
Kitty Comforts

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Some of my boarding cats love the laundry basket!

Posted by Ellen at 04:27 PM eMail this entry!
October 31, 2005
Not Everyone Needs Two Eyes

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Posted by Ellen at 05:39 PM eMail this entry!
October 28, 2005
I See England/I See France/I See Your Cat's Underpants

There's lost kitties, and then there's lost kitties:

When Emily the cat went missing a month ago, her owners looked for their wandering pet where she had ended up before — the local animal shelter. This week they learned Emily sailed to France.

Lesley McElhiney now figures her cat went prowling around a paper warehouse near home and ended up in a cargo container that went by ship across the Atlantic Ocean and was trucked to Nancy, a city in northeastern France near the border with Germany.

The fact that they would have to actually work for their dinner while making the crossing would pretty much doom any of our bunch.

Posted by scott at 02:06 PM eMail this entry!
October 23, 2005
Two-Tongued Cat Video
Posted by Ellen at 06:56 PM eMail this entry!
October 22, 2005
Garrison the Great Marbled Cat Shark!

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This is what happens when your friends dress up their cats.

Posted by Ellen at 05:31 PM eMail this entry!
SaraJen Maine Coon Cats!

India's(the resident clinic cat at my work)family.

Posted by Ellen at 04:21 PM eMail this entry!
October 19, 2005
Say it Aint' So

Not quite "Man Bites Dog", but close:

Cats are blamed for triggering asthma attacks in humans but veterinarians in Scotland say it may also work the other way around.

Irritants such as cigarette smoke, dusty homes and human dandruff can increase inflammation in feline lungs and worsen asthma in cats.

It'd just add another cycle of pills to what "the land of the misfits" already take. I swear these cats are on more meds than three senior citizens put together.

Posted by scott at 08:35 AM eMail this entry!
October 18, 2005
Tasteful Toes

"I've been a vet for 40 years, but I've never heard of a single case where a cat has chewed off a person's toes. I could believe if it we were talking about a dog, because dogs could bit through the bones, but cats have sharp teeth that hurt when they bite, but make it physically impossible to chew through bone," Tokio Tonouchi, head of the Tonouchi Veterinary Clinic, tells Shukan Bunshun. "Even the way dogs and cats eat meat is different. Dogs chew it, but a cat is more likely to lick it for a long time until it wears down. Even if the cat were to have done what people are saying it has, there is no way it would ever eat the bones, too. If the cat has done it, you'd also be able to tell from the bite marks left on the foot."

Read entire article here.

Posted by Ellen at 08:11 PM eMail this entry!
October 17, 2005
Car Ride!

They're lucky Ellen doesn't drive for them, otherwise she'd be giving rides all day:

A motorist with a chronic fear of being with cats in confined spaces drove all the way from South Devon to Birmingham blissfully unaware that a hitchhiking feline was sitting right behind him. Baby the freeloading cat is now back home in Torbay after her trip on board a brand new Shogun Pinin being delivered to distant Darlington by whiskers-shy driver Ray Train.

Ray Train stopped at services only to discover his worst nightmare - a cat purring softly just behind his seat.

Oh don't worry, everything turned out OK. Let that be a lesson to you kitties... hitchhiking is bad!

Posted by scott at 02:03 PM eMail this entry!
October 14, 2005
Extra Bits

Considering the existing menagerie from "the land of mistfits", I'm sure a two-tounged cat can't be far behind. Fweaky.

Posted by scott at 08:11 AM eMail this entry!
October 05, 2005
Kitty Yoga

Download these funny kitty inspired yoga videos!

Posted by Ellen at 05:23 PM eMail this entry!
September 21, 2005
Cat Breath

A funny story about a cat and his bad breath.

Yes, vets will talk to clients that way!

Posted by Ellen at 06:52 AM eMail this entry!
September 20, 2005
Best AMCG Icon EVAR!

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Many thanks to Joshua for the icon!

Posted by Ellen at 07:53 PM eMail this entry!
September 06, 2005
Cat of A Different Color

A west Devon couple are baffled by how their nine-year-old white cat turned pink after a weekend stroll.

Mrs Worth said: "He was pink - Barbie pink. His head, ears and right down his body, although not underneath, had gone a quite brilliant pink.

Read entire article here.

With pix!

Posted by Ellen at 06:53 PM eMail this entry!
September 04, 2005
Orange Maine Coon Babies!

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Posted by Ellen at 05:25 PM eMail this entry!
Kitten Break

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One of the many Maine Coon kittens that pass through the clinic doors.

Posted by Ellen at 09:46 AM eMail this entry!
A pet cat caused a house fire after a TV caught light when he was sick on it.

Yes, it's a true story. You just have to read it.

Posted by Ellen at 08:47 AM eMail this entry!
August 31, 2005
Sell Your Dog!

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A very Ebay No Prize to my Mother for sending us this!

Posted by Ellen at 07:30 PM eMail this entry!
Monsters and Thieves

It's 10 p.m., do you know where your cats are?

German police called to a break-in at an apartment in the northern town of Itzstedt found the intruder still on the premises and hiding under a kitchen cabinet.

The "cat burglar" had somehow crawled into the ground-floor of the apartment, broken window blinds, torn down drapes and trashed furniture.

We're talking the 4-legged variety here. I thought it was mighty quiet downstairs last night.

Posted by scott at 09:42 AM eMail this entry!
August 29, 2005
Shaggy Cat Story

The Religious Policeman brings us this nice adoption story about a blind Saudi cat. I wonder if they'll take ours?

Posted by scott at 11:42 AM eMail this entry!
August 28, 2005
It's Because They're Evil

So now they're going to tell us why cats are such fuzzy monsters:

Animal behaviour experts are launching a study into why cats sometimes bite their owners when stroked.

Researchers at the University of Lincoln say petting aggression is a common problem, with more than 20% of household cats showing it.

Personally I'd be more interested in finding out why they seem to need to puke once a day, every day. But that's just me.

Posted by scott at 09:05 AM eMail this entry!
August 25, 2005
Cats in Sinks!

Our cats do this.

Posted by Ellen at 09:09 PM eMail this entry!
August 18, 2005
Coconut

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Posted by Ellen at 09:12 PM eMail this entry!
My Ted

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Posted by Ellen at 06:29 PM eMail this entry!
And People Wonder Why He Is Called Mr. Sssips!

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Posted by Ellen at 01:00 PM eMail this entry!
August 17, 2005
Fence Jumping

Artistic Merit 6.0, Technical Merit 9.0!

A very kitty olympic No-Prize to Rich for bringing us this stellar performance!

Posted by Ellen at 07:04 PM eMail this entry!
August 10, 2005
I Wonder if they Play the Kitty Cat Dance Song?

Good thing Ellen's all tied up with Belly Dance classes. Otherwise I'd probably end up getting dragged to this.

Posted by scott at 09:25 AM eMail this entry!
August 04, 2005
Kitty Ninja Foo!

YEEEEEAA!!!!!!

Just click the link!

Posted by Ellen at 08:41 PM eMail this entry!
August 02, 2005
I Always Wanted to do This with Ours

What's inside the box?:

VERGENNES, Vt. -- Imagine the shock at Country Home Products when workers opened a box and five kittens came squirming out.

Don't worry, they're fine, apparently shipped by accident as part of a merchandise return.

Posted by scott at 11:46 AM eMail this entry!
August 01, 2005
Thunderbelly The Cat

You have just got to go look.

Posted by Ellen at 09:00 PM eMail this entry!
That's A BIG Kitty!

A big cat dubbed the Moorland Beast has been unmasked as an overweight pet. Residents in East Ogwell, near Newton Abbot, have reported several recent sightings of a panther-like creature prowling the streets. One resident reported seeing "a black feline at least 2ft 6in tall" stalking fields on the edge of the village.

Finish reading the story here.

Posted by Ellen at 06:12 PM eMail this entry!
July 31, 2005
I Somehow Don't Think This Was An Accident

A worker in the returns department at Country Home Products got a return and a surprise when he opened a brush trimmer sent back from South Carolina. Inside the box was the trimmer - and five kittens.

Read article here.

No-Prize to Carrie for the link!

Posted by Ellen at 09:11 AM eMail this entry!
July 25, 2005
Mine'll Eat Every Other Damned Thing Though

So why isn't Fluffy interested in a single chocolate chip, while it's all you can do to keep Fido from eating the entire box? Well, according to this Washington Post article, it's because cats can't taste anything special about the cookie:

Until now, scientists have not known whether cats simply lack the lingual apparatus to detect sugar; or have functional sugar detectors on their tongues but faulty wiring from their taste buds to the brain; or -- as some might presume -- are simply too snooty to admit to such a common craving.

Now researchers studying the DNA of house cats, tigers and cheetahs have settled the question: Cats both large and small harbor a genetic mutation that renders the sugar detectors on their taste buds inoperative.

So much for my mom wanting to come back in her next life as a cat.

Posted by scott at 08:06 AM eMail this entry!
July 11, 2005
*Cough*Bullshit*Cough

WTF!?

What kind of asinine research is this?

Let's go over this AGAIN. You can get toxoplasmosis from a cat yes, in the rarest of cases. BUT you are more likely to get it from undercooked meat, unwashed vegetables and gardening without gloves on.

Oh yeah, washing your fucking hands too helps.

I am a Licensed Veterinary Technician. I've spent the past 12 years working with cats, and I handle fecal matter on a daily basis. I have never tested positive for it. If you need more research on this matter, I suggest you contact the American Association for Feline Practitioners.

Posted by Ellen at 08:48 PM eMail this entry!
July 10, 2005
Avery

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Posted by Ellen at 05:54 PM eMail this entry!
July 08, 2005
Of Course We have to Link it

Ron gets a cute-n'-fuzzy no-prize for bringing us news of baby snow leopards at the Denver museum. With pictures!

Posted by scott at 12:23 PM eMail this entry!
July 04, 2005
Orange Cat

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Posted by Ellen at 09:27 AM eMail this entry!
July 01, 2005
Trevor

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Posted by Ellen at 09:18 PM eMail this entry!
Archie

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Archie is another one of my boarding cats. He is a bengal.

Posted by Ellen at 09:11 PM eMail this entry!
Gwen

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This special little cat is boarding with me at work till July 20th. She has been with me a week already. Her favorite thing to do it sit on the ladder against the wall and peer out the boarding window leading into the hallway.

Cat pictures always make people smile.

Posted by Ellen at 08:42 PM eMail this entry!
June 29, 2005
Do You Dream In Cat?

Too Funny!

Brought to you by Spreegirl!

Posted by Ellen at 06:34 AM eMail this entry!
June 27, 2005
Lovie

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Lovie is another one of my clinic cats that lives with my parents. Well, she used to be a cat. Now she is some black blob that likes to bathe in the sun.

Posted by Ellen at 08:25 PM eMail this entry!
RB

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RB, aka Arbour, is my parent's cat. RB used to be a clinic cat of Amber and mine when we worked at an animal hospital together.

Posted by Ellen at 08:18 PM eMail this entry!
June 26, 2005
Sometimes You Can Take a Picture of Evil

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Baby is my brother's cat. She is insane.

Posted by Ellen at 08:12 PM eMail this entry!
June 20, 2005
Snoozing in the Shade

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Posted by Ellen at 06:29 PM eMail this entry!
Freshen Up!

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No-Prize to Ron for bringing us this one!

Posted by Ellen at 12:36 PM eMail this entry!
June 19, 2005
MROW!

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Posted by Ellen at 09:35 AM eMail this entry!
ZzzzzZZZZzzz....

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Posted by Ellen at 09:28 AM eMail this entry!
June 17, 2005
Another 2 Faced Kitten Born

A newborn kitten recently entered the world with two faces and, hopefully, at least nine lives. Gemini was born Sunday with two mouths, two tongues, two noses and four eyes.

Read entire article here.

With Pix!

Posted by Ellen at 06:42 PM eMail this entry!
Peek A Boo Kes

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Posted by Ellen at 06:27 PM eMail this entry!
June 10, 2005
MROW!

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Posted by Ellen at 08:36 PM eMail this entry!
The Litterbox! The Litterbox! You Damn Cats!

And Scott curses MY cats!

Two kittens picked the wrong place to relieve themselves when they urinated on a fax machine, sparking a fire that extensively damaged their Japanese owner's house.

Read entire cat pee article here.

A 5 day old unchanged litter box NO-PRIZE goes to Monikka for the link!

Posted by Ellen at 05:28 PM eMail this entry!
June 09, 2005
Cuteness... Overload... Blood Sugar... Rising...

Ron gets a warm-and-fuzzy no-prize for bringing us news of rare kittens born at the Minnesota Zoo. If Ellen so much as pouts at this she's gonna owe me a pizza.

Posted by scott at 04:05 PM eMail this entry!
June 05, 2005
Cat Blessing Ritual

For all of you Pagans out there.

Posted by scott at 01:01 PM eMail this entry!
Bomb's Away!

Maybe Scott would leave the cats alone if they did this!

Posted by scott at 01:01 PM eMail this entry!
May 27, 2005
Beau

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Beau is 19 years old.

Posted by Ellen at 07:33 PM eMail this entry!
May 24, 2005
Kes In A Basket

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Posted by Ellen at 08:29 PM eMail this entry!
May 23, 2005
LICK!

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Posted by Ellen at 07:50 PM eMail this entry!
May 20, 2005
Softness

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Posted by Ellen at 06:07 PM eMail this entry!
India on the Couch

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Posted by Ellen at 05:53 PM eMail this entry!
May 19, 2005
In The Window

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This is Kes, Spinaker's buddy.

Posted by Ellen at 08:47 PM eMail this entry!
No No... No Pictures Please!

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"No pictures, no autographs. See my publicist please!"

Mullin is a boarder that wanted extra special attention. And to touch my camera.

Posted by Ellen at 08:31 PM eMail this entry!
Spinaker

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This cat is 23 years old.

Posted by Ellen at 08:20 PM eMail this entry!
Paw Sense

Cat proofing your computer.

The person that invented this obviously has a very smart cat that only pretends to be tricked by the software.

Posted by Ellen at 06:53 AM eMail this entry!
May 15, 2005
SNITCH!

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Olivia did not want lunch, so Ted took it.

Posted by Ellen at 09:40 AM eMail this entry!
May 10, 2005
STREEETCH!!

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Posted by Ellen at 08:52 PM eMail this entry!
May 06, 2005
Kitten War

Just keep picking the best kitten!

Thanks to Joshua over at Blue Lens for the link!

Posted by Ellen at 07:03 AM eMail this entry!
May 05, 2005
Garrison!

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Posted by Ellen at 09:01 PM eMail this entry!
Key Largo

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aka: Bogie the cat

Posted by Ellen at 08:32 PM eMail this entry!
May 04, 2005
India Lounging

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Posted by Ellen at 09:07 PM eMail this entry!
May 03, 2005
About Face

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Posted by Ellen at 08:54 PM eMail this entry!
May 01, 2005
It's a Goblin!

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Posted by Ellen at 04:31 PM eMail this entry!
April 28, 2005
Contemplation

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Posted by Ellen at 08:05 PM eMail this entry!
Profile

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Posted by Ellen at 04:36 PM eMail this entry!
India In The Window
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Posted by Ellen at 04:23 AM eMail this entry!
MrA
Posted by Ellen at 04:02 AM eMail this entry!
April 26, 2005
Soft

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Posted by Ellen at 08:03 PM eMail this entry!
Some Serious Leg Licking Going On!

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Posted by Ellen at 07:55 PM eMail this entry!
India in the Catnip Mats

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Posted by Ellen at 07:49 PM eMail this entry!
April 23, 2005
HAHAHAH!!!

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Posted by Ellen at 12:53 PM eMail this entry!
April 21, 2005
Library Cats of the World!

A very addictive site.

Posted by Ellen at 09:23 PM eMail this entry!
April 16, 2005
Tabitha

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Tabitha is one of the cats that comes to board at my cat clinic I work at.

Posted by Ellen at 08:00 AM eMail this entry!
April 14, 2005
India

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India is one of the residents at my work.

Posted by Ellen at 08:28 PM eMail this entry!
April 13, 2005
Cat Drummer

No children were harmed in the making of this film. Well, that we know of.

Posted by Ellen at 07:00 PM eMail this entry!
April 09, 2005
Coconut!
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Many thanks to Coconut for sitting at the table like the princess she is while I snapped my first pix on my new NIKON D70

Happy Anniversary to me!! -from my Super Sugar Daddy of a Husband!

Posted by Ellen at 08:51 PM eMail this entry!
April 03, 2005
New Paw for Kitty!

The Simmonses wanted to make his life a little easier, so they called Dr. Denis Marcellin-Little at the N.C. State College of Veterinary Medicine to do something that had never been done before -- attach a prosthetic paw to the cat's actual leg bone.

The surgery is so rare it's been performed on just 70 humans worldwide.

Read entire article here.

No-Prize to Ron!

Posted by Ellen at 08:50 PM eMail this entry!
Super Garrison!

Super Garrison Small Web view.jpg

Posted by Ellen at 03:56 PM eMail this entry!
March 30, 2005
Snip-Snip

Great, just what I needed, another cat song for Ellen to obsess over. Hey, at least it's for a good cause!

Posted by scott at 02:00 PM eMail this entry!
March 27, 2005
Happy Birthday Coconut!

Happy Birthday to Coconut!

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Posted by Ellen at 03:53 PM eMail this entry!
March 21, 2005
Cat-Napped!

"Blackie is safe and warm with me and my family of 3 kitties. She has instantly bonded with our autistic child, and I cannot think of separating them. The reward is of no comparison to the amount of love and joy she brings to my daughter's heart. I know this will not assuage your grief, but know she is well looked after, loved and always will be. Regards, MN."

Read entire article here.

Apparently the cat is microchipped. As soon as this dumbass takes it to the vet for the first time (well, assuming the clinic is smart enough to scan all black cats for a while) she will be reported.

Posted by Ellen at 06:12 PM eMail this entry!
March 19, 2005
Hot Cat Off Tin Roof

Anyone in Colorado want to look these fuckers up?

Police say 22-year-old Christopher Wilbur and 18-year-old Joshua Klohr set a gray cat on fire and then tossed it off the school roof Wednesday night. Officers spotted the two men on the roof of Arvada West High School just before 11 p.m.

Read entire fucked up article here.

Great family values I say! They just added 2 more serial killers to the growing list.

Posted by Ellen at 03:15 PM eMail this entry!
March 16, 2005
Two Faced Kitten Dies

Sad, but most of these little guys don't make it. They die of pneumonia due to aspiration of milk since their airway and esophagus tend to be deformed.

Read article here.

Posted by Ellen at 07:04 PM eMail this entry!
March 11, 2005
Two Faced

Kitten born with two faces.

With Pix!

No-prize to Carrie!

Posted by Ellen at 08:04 PM eMail this entry!
March 10, 2005
Remember: Guns Don't Shoot People...

Cats shoot people:

A man cooking in his kitchen was shot after one of his cats knocked his 9mm handgun onto the floor, discharging the weapon, Michigan State Police said.

Let's see... how many gun safety practices did this guy ignore:

  • Loaded gun in a non-shooting situation
  • A round chambered
  • Safety off (presumeably)
  • Gun not stored out of sight
  • Gun not secured
  • Gun left where a third untrained party can access it.

Yep, that pretty much covers all of them, at least that I can think of. That wasn't the sound of a bullet he heard, it was the sound of a Darwin award.

Us? We don't have any guns. Our evil minions have to resort to cruder methods of murder, like weaving back and forth through legs while we walk down stairs. Ron, on the other hand...

Via IMAO.

Posted by scott at 02:59 PM eMail this entry!
March 04, 2005
Far as I'm Concerned, They All Should be Transported This Way

You see, that's why cats have claws:

Torri Hutchinson's cat might just have one less life to live. Hutchison was driving along Interstate 15 one day recently when a motorist kept trying to get her attention and pointing to the roof of her car.
...
She had driven about 10 miles with the cat on top of the car, and didn't even notice the feline when she stopped for gas.

Hang on kitty! Hang on!

Posted by scott at 02:25 PM eMail this entry!
February 28, 2005
Pain Managment for Your Pet!

Managing pain in animals has always been a challenge because cats and dogs can’t say where or how much it hurts. Beyond that communication gap, animals — especially cats — often try to hide their pain, an instinctive behavior dictated by the premise that the weak don’t survive.

Owner concern, plus their own interest in animals, led anesthesiologists, surgeons and intensive-care veterinarians to look more closely at animals in pain and try to do a better job of recognizing and treating it. Dogs and cats have been the main beneficiaries of this interest. Not enough is known yet about treating pain in birds, reptiles and other pets such as ferrets, Karas says, adding "we are using some pain meds in birds, and we are studying how best to treat them, so progress is being made."

Read entire article here.

Very cool! For those of us in veterinary medicine, this is a very important topic!

Posted by Ellen at 08:22 PM eMail this entry!
February 24, 2005
What?

What the hell is this?

Posted by Ellen at 08:47 PM eMail this entry!
February 22, 2005
Mapping The Cat Brain

As you can see, a cat's brain is so complex that we needed this very detailed map to get a better look at it.

Posted by Ellen at 06:25 PM eMail this entry!
February 05, 2005
Cheetah Babies!!

Watch the new cheetah cubs at the National Zoo on their LIVE web cam!

Posted by Ellen at 09:37 PM eMail this entry!
January 31, 2005
Kitten Expressions

Imao tells the tale of his new cat's *exprssions*.

Posted by Ellen at 06:19 PM eMail this entry!
January 28, 2005
Also Known as "My House"

Steppin' all over Ellen's categories today... first babies, now cats. Ellen, Amber, et. al. will certainly get a kick out of the infinite cat project, which seems to be all about taking pictures of cats looking at cats looking at cats, etc. I expect we'll be rather busy with our camera once Ellen gets home tonight.

Posted by scott at 10:51 AM eMail this entry!
January 22, 2005
Cat Found Frozen To Fence

Read story here.

Poor Kitty!!

Posted by Ellen at 04:17 PM eMail this entry!
January 19, 2005
CHOMP!!!
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No-Prize to my Mom! Thanks for the pix!

Posted by Ellen at 08:03 PM eMail this entry!
Cheetah Butt!

Carrie gets a very swishy tailed No-Prize for bringing us this picture of a cheetah!

Posted by Ellen at 07:15 PM eMail this entry!
January 17, 2005
I Guess We'll Call it "Meow-Dex"

Doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense, it has cats in it. Ellen will squeal anyway.

Posted by scott at 10:28 AM eMail this entry!
January 14, 2005
Kitty Love!

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Everyone say Awwwww!!!!

Posted by scott at 08:42 PM eMail this entry!
January 10, 2005
Sponsor Cat

Our sponsor kitty got a home! :)

Posted by Ellen at 05:33 PM eMail this entry!
January 02, 2005
When Chipping Works!

This is a reason WHY to microchip your outdoor cats!

Jamison, a 7-year-old cat with long, gray fur, ventured outside his home one day in June 2003 and didn't come back. His owner gave him up for lost and adopted another cat.

Three weeks ago, Christine Park received a call from a microchip company, saying Jamison had been found and was living at an animal shelter in San Jose.

Read entire sappy story here.
Posted by Ellen at 03:11 PM eMail this entry!
December 28, 2004
Folgers Coffee-Tabby Blend

Ok, I like cats. A lot. No wait, I LOVE cats. But not this much.

Found via It's Full of Crap.com

Posted by Ellen at 09:24 PM eMail this entry!
December 23, 2004
There Can be Only... rrmm... Several?

CaptainHowdy gets two identical no-prizes for bringing us news that someone has actually taken delivery of a cloned cat:

The cat's out of the bag - a North Texas woman paid $50,000 to have her kitty cloned.

Yeah, I know, 50-large would sure do a lot of good for already-existing homeless kitties. Still, it's her money, so here's to hoping for many long years with her re-run'd cat.

Posted by scott at 12:00 PM eMail this entry!
December 20, 2004
Blooming Grove Animal Shelter

AMCGLTD would like to present it's newest addition to it's family!

Please meet our sponsor cat, Broadway Anne!

BA is currently up for adoption at the Blooming Grove Animal Shelter (NO KILL) in NY. For as little as $10 a month, YOU can sponsor a pet too!

Posted by Ellen at 07:25 PM eMail this entry!
December 17, 2004
It's Official... I've Now Seen Everything

Well, I'm glad it doesn't exist yet, because if the Cat Drinking Songs CD was available that'd be all I'd listen to for the next two weeks. Oh stop laughing Ron, you'd only be safe until Amber made a copy!

Posted by scott at 01:59 PM eMail this entry!
December 16, 2004
Yeah, That's About Right

Those of you with cats and Christmas trees already know, but for those that don't, witness the power of Christmas cats. For some reason ours don't climb in/up the tree anymore, although when they were kittens it was pretty common to come home to a set of eyes staring out at you from deep within the tree.

However, a far more regular sight at our house was what we called the "bottomless" tree. The first day after decorating it would be perfect, but as the days rolled on everything below the level of a raised cat tail would slowly disappear, until all that was left was lights.

This year the tree is downstairs to avoid an encounter with hurricane Olivia, and for some reason the cats are leaving it alone too. I suppose it's out of their main traffic area, so they're not bothering it. Then again, it's only been up a week or two, so it may just be they haven't gotten around to it yet. Ah, the holidays...

Via Lair.

Posted by scott at 01:08 PM eMail this entry!
December 14, 2004
Nice Kitty

While hardly as earth-shaking as the story makes it out to be, the birth of a "liger" is always worth a look. Yup, lion-tiger cross. No Ellen, you can't have one.

Posted by scott at 12:36 PM eMail this entry!
December 10, 2004
Kitty Ice Cream!

Mr. Garrison(of the infamous Amber and Ron) and his ice cream!

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Lick.Lick.Lick.Lick.Lick...

Posted by Ellen at 08:12 PM eMail this entry!
December 09, 2004
Happy 5th Birthday Teddy!

Happy 5th Birthday Ted!

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I remember when Ted was 5 weeks old and being told by his cardiologist that I would be lucky if he would make it to six months old. We've come a long way little man!

Remember, you can't leave me till I say so!

~Love,
MommyCat

Posted by Ellen at 06:51 PM eMail this entry!
December 05, 2004
Glow in the Dark Cats
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For those night vision challenged cat owners out there. AMCG presents the glow in the dark cat! Limited supplies! Act now!
Posted by Ellen at 04:20 AM eMail this entry!
December 04, 2004
Guess the Cat in Crayons

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For the bonus point!

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It's Ajax!

Posted by Ellen at 01:26 PM eMail this entry!
Guess the AMCG Cat!

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Winners shall recieve a cat puked No-Prize!

Your answer is...

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Coconut!

Posted by Ellen at 11:21 AM eMail this entry!
December 03, 2004
Ohmmm Mane Padme Purrrr....

Joshua gets a no-prize Ellen and Amber will squeal over for bringing us this silly bit of fluff. No, really, fluff!

Posted by scott at 10:35 AM eMail this entry!
November 28, 2004
36th Carnival of the Cats

Go check out the 36th Carnival of the Cats over at Watermark.

Show some kitty support and click the link! Your cat commands you!

Posted by Ellen at 07:33 PM eMail this entry!
I Want MORE Turkey!

sips.jpg

Thanks to Joshua for this great Ted pix! :)

Posted by Ellen at 08:04 AM eMail this entry!
November 04, 2004
MMMM!!!!!

Scott says I can't make one.

Posted by Ellen at 05:40 PM eMail this entry!
October 29, 2004
Blooming Grove Animal Shelter

My mom donates lots of stuff to the shelter all the time.

This is just sickening.

There needs to be donations or Habitat for Humanity to build a house on that property for someone to live on the premesis of the shelter.

Sick, sick, sick.

Posted by Ellen at 05:30 PM eMail this entry!
October 28, 2004
Franken-Kitty Follow-Up

New Scientist did some digging after yesterday's hypo-allergenic cat story broke. What they found was rather interesting:

It is probably possible to create cats that do not produce the most common protein allergen, says Thomas Platts-Mills, director of the asthma and allergic disease center at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, US. But he adds that cats produce many more allergens, and that blocking production of the protein could damage the cat's health.

Which is more or less what I expected. From my admittedly limited readings, allergic reactions seem to be damned complicated things, and claims that a single alteration (no matter how gee-whiz) can cure them sounds mighty suspicious to me. But it gets better:

[Allerca's] parent company, Geneticas Life Sciences, has a division called Genetiate which proposes adding jellyfish genes to deer so their hair and skins fluoresce when illuminated by car headlights. The sight of glowing green deer would bring drivers to a screeching halt, avoiding accidents.

Which sounds so wacky I'd normally chalk it up to a government program. It's rather rare to find people actually spending their own money on something this screwy.

Bottom line: like the article says, don't hold your breath waiting on super-kitty.

Posted by scott at 11:47 AM eMail this entry!
October 27, 2004
Test-Tube Kitty

Via slashdot: Someone's working on genetically engineering a hypo-allergenic cat. I'd be a lot more interested in one with a supressed puking reflex, but I've been called a "meanie" for saying that before.

Posted by scott at 10:49 AM eMail this entry!
October 09, 2004
Meow Max

Ron, via IFOC, brings us news our next vacation might be in Malayasia:

Today Kuching or Cat City — is the home of the world‘s first and most extensive Cat Museum — a unique treasure-trove of kitty artifacts and feline memorabilia.

He gets a feline no-prize for finding the museum's home page. Hard to surprise Amber about a honeymoon location when she tells you where you're going, eh? Nah, just kidding...

Posted by scott at 08:12 AM eMail this entry!
September 28, 2004
The Cat's Caboose

Rob E. gets a brown-eyed no-prize for bringing us the tale of the (cat) ass-filled digital camera:

First of all, I'd like to congratulate you on the acquisition of a Casio Exilim S20 compact digital camera. No doubt it was an exciting find after your fine meal at Houston's on Park, where delicious spinach dip is the signature item ... No doubt, you're wondering why the memory card contains 17 close-ups of a cat's ass.

The sad thing is, Ellen would not only not be put off by the contents, she'd a) diagnose the problem, b) share that diagnosis with me and call me a wuss for turning green, c) share that diagnosis with Amber and coo with her over the poor kitty, and d) try to find the owner to ensure the cat turned out OK. Which it did.

But that still wouldn't stop me from turning green.

Posted by scott at 01:10 PM eMail this entry!
September 24, 2004
You've Gotta be Kidding Me

First song, now pictures. Where does it end? Someone, please, stop the madness!

Well, I know what the subject of our next fifteen rolls of pictures will be. Stop laughing Ron, they went shopping for film together.

Posted by scott at 08:05 PM eMail this entry!
Here We Go Again

Ellen only now stopped singing that stupid "Cat, I'm a Kitty Cat" song. Now we have this. Techno too. Lord help me.

Via Lisa.

Posted by scott at 04:03 PM eMail this entry!
September 21, 2004
Kitty Pix

This is cute!!!

Posted by Ellen at 07:51 PM eMail this entry!
September 19, 2004
Mmmm...Now if you just don't fly away...

Neat cat pix.

Posted by Ellen at 10:36 AM eMail this entry!
Staff celebrates life of saved cat

Dr. Sue Burkhart helps her cat C.C. make the first cut of the cat's birthday cake at Animal Medical Center in Ontario on Friday afternoon. C.C., who is celebrating her first birthday, used to stand for "Coma Cat," but it now stands for "Clinic Cat" since she has recovered from a drug-induced coma that took the life of her brother early this spring. The animals' owner administered ear mite medicine intended for horses, and C.C. spent two weeks in a coma. She is fully recovered and spends most of her time in the center's waiting room. More than 30 staff and clients came for the lunch and party.

See caption with pix.

Posted by Ellen at 10:03 AM eMail this entry!
September 18, 2004
Shoe Fetish

Podge the cat, whose mother Kizzi used to steal rugby socks, has spent much of the past two and a-half years flogging shoes from porches.

He lost part of his tail during one late-night raid - his owner, Aileen Smith, suspected it was caught in a door as he tried to get away - but he continues to steal shoes by the pair.

Read entire cat tale.
Posted by Ellen at 09:18 AM eMail this entry!
September 16, 2004
I Think it Should be Called "Catsersize"

The thing is, I think Ellen actually owns this book:

Bad, a longhaired tortoiseshell who, judging from her attitude in the photographs, apparently believes that both the exercises and the photo session are for her benefit alone. The chubbier Masi - used for exercises that require extra weight - looks tolerant enough, but nowhere near as pleased as Bad.

But I bet Amber doesn't have a copy yet. You can thank me later, Ron :).

Posted by scott at 10:57 AM eMail this entry!
September 10, 2004
The Cat and the Naughty Bird

Make sure your speakers are on for this one! This is great!

Naughty Bird.

8 small episodes, you can watch them all!

Posted by Ellen at 07:28 PM eMail this entry!
September 09, 2004
Cat Graphics!

How cool! A whole site dedicated to cat graphics!

Thanks Joshua!!

Posted by Ellen at 05:45 PM eMail this entry!
September 06, 2004
~Shouf-Shouf-a-Douf~

Mahmood linked up the nifty Shoufy the Cat blog. "Trying to promote good feelings about living in the Middle East" is a pretty tall order in these trying times, but if a cat can't do it, nobody can.

Posted by scott at 09:49 AM eMail this entry!
August 31, 2004
Ellen's Next Exercise Craze?

Introducing YogaKitty, with "purr-fect" video examples of how you and your cat can reach an alternative state of being. Maybe this will get Edloe to exercise more?

OOOUMMMM-meow-meow-OOOUUUMMM

Posted by scott at 10:07 AM eMail this entry!
August 29, 2004
Cat Town

This is great!

Posted by Ellen at 11:23 AM eMail this entry!
August 15, 2004
Man pleads guilty in cat torture case. *More serial killers in the making*

WILLOWS A man accused of torturing and killing a cat pleaded guilty Thursday and now awaits sentencing. John Lee Allen, 50, of Orland entered the plea and now faces up to three years in prison when he is sentenced Sept. 17.

Read entire F'd up story here.
Posted by Ellen at 09:55 AM eMail this entry!
August 11, 2004
I Guess We'll be Visiting Manhattan Soon

Fark disapproved mightily of the latest "theme" eatery idea coming soon to NY City:

When the Meow Mix Cafe opens its doors August 17, pussycats will be able to tuck in to a variety of vittles while their owners enjoy comparable dishes. For example, while the kitty chews on her "Fillet Meow" of beef in gravy, her owner eats a beef tenderloin sandwich.

Having watched my own cats splatter "Tuna Surprise with Cheese Bits" all over the kitchen floor, I'll pass for my own reasons. But I doubt it'd even slow Ellen down.

Posted by scott at 08:07 AM eMail this entry!
August 10, 2004
Cat Clone, Cat Cuddle

BBCnews is carrying this report by a woman who's actually seen/petted/been crawled on by two cloned kitties. Apparently, if you weren't told you'd never know the difference.

Since most of ours have genetic things wrong with them, I'm not sure any of them are candidates.

Posted by scott at 10:39 AM eMail this entry!
August 09, 2004
Catpix

You've probably seen many of these cute cat pictures before, but you've probably not seen others. Take a few moments out of your busy day for a smile or two at our goofy feline friends.

Posted by scott at 10:27 AM eMail this entry!
July 30, 2004
The Great Mouse Chronicles, part the 4th

Mice 2, Cats, 2

Well, we had another little mouse in the house last night. It was a small little grey mouse. We came home from cat-sitting for Ellen and Scott and noticed that the cats were intent on the dryer. This normally being a sign that something alive is under there, be it a spider, mouse, or whatever. So, we moved all of the cats and started to try and catch the little guy (or gal, as the case may be).

Well, in short order, we'd identified that this was a younger mouse and it was under the dryer. So, we got prepared to catch him - seeing as how we're experts on this now. We had towels out to block escape routes, a yardstick to help force the mouse to where Amber could grab it, Pongo blocking the route that Skippy would use to try and catch the mouse, and so on. We also, had put Garrison in the office and shut the door so he wouldn't interfere.

So, after adjusting the dryer around, lifting it, and trying almost everything we can to get to the little bastard, he comes sprinting out - at me. Mind you, at this point, I've just played soccer for two hours and have managed to completely cool down, so I'm about as stiff as a board. So, can I catch him? No, I was the lifting the dryer guy, so I don't even have a towel (you want to catch them in a towel, not with your hands so you don't get bitten). So, very similar to Amber's experience, I now have a mouse running down my leg. Very light touch, somewhat ticklish - get a feather, or some very flexible thing such as this, run it down your leg, and you'll know what I'm talking about.

So, uber-mouse decides to head to the linen closet. No problem - he can't get out of there, so we're safe.

Or so we thought. He somehow disappears in the closet and we can't find him - even though we empty the thing. So, now we figure he's in the wall and relatively safe. HAHAHAHA.

As I'm trying to eat dinner, the mouse is at it again. This time he's behind the bookshelves from the earlier Chronicles. We get the same set up, but no luck catching him. He's just too feisty. And then, he makes a break for open space - and Garrison. Garrison dives, the mouse disappears. We pry open his mouth and no mouse. Hmmm... That was a quick swallow - or was it. I pick him up, and the mouse had been trapped under his front paws. Mousey goes sprinting down the wall, the other cats are oblivious, and he disappears under the fridge.

Well, we decide to leave him there and catch him later. This will prove to be an ominious decision - for the mouse, at least.

So, after a good nights sleep, I come out and see some spots of blood on the floor. No real big deal- there must've been a kitty fight that I slept through - which happens frequently. Then, upon further inspection, I see a little grey thing. In the morning light, it looks like a clump of mud from my cleats, however, it's a bit to even of a shape for that. I get down and notice the shape has eyes. This time, they left the entire head instead of part of it. Guess the mouse wasn't content to stay safe under the fridge...

And, if you remember from the last post, we'd found one of the entrances? Well, we found another. And this time I've been threatened within an inch of my life if I don't block it up...

Posted by ron at 08:34 AM eMail this entry!
July 29, 2004
Kitty wants a squirrel

Okay - here I am, back from work and just trying to get a few things done before heading off to play soccer. Minding my own business, I go walking into the kitchen and what do I see? Skippy - absolutely intent on something on our back porch.

As many of you may know, Amber has a soft spot for little 'cute' animals. Now, cute isn't defined in the normal fuzzy manner as I've been subjected to cute lizards, katydids, frogs, and other such nonsense, as well as the normal gamit of cats, squirrels, chipmunks, etc. As part of her soft spot, we've got several bird feeders hanging in our little back porch area. Unfortunately for us, we've got stupid birds here in Virginia, so they're rarely used.

That doesn't mean we don't fill them up when all of the seed is blown out. We certainly do. And we have a nice bag of birdseed just sitting on the back porch. We also have a door from our kitchen that leads to the porch - and it's one of those with glass the whole way down to roughly 6" off the floor.

So, here I am, just trying to get a glass of water and what do I see? I see the Skipster, tail wagging in that snakelike fashion that cats tails wag when they're intent on death and destruction. He's just staring out the windows. So, following his gaze, I see the bag of birdseed. Next to the bag of birdseed, what do I see? A bird? Nope - our birds are stupid. I see a common grey squirrel. Well, interestingly enough, the squirrel sees me and wigs out. He goes a sprinting up the kayaks (don't ask) to the top of the porch rail. And just sits there, tail going much like the cats, only about 100 times quicker - guess Skippy didn't scare him at all, but the large human coming around the corner is particularly heart-stopping...

Well, it's good to know that our cats don't inspire fear into the warm fuzzy things out there.

And no, in spite of my strong, strong desire to do so, I didn't open the door and let Skippy chase him down...

Posted by ron at 03:15 PM eMail this entry!
July 28, 2004
The Return of the Cat Week

Today we have Skippy. He’s the squirrelly little whiner of a cat that just loves to play. Amber got him roughly 5 years ago when she was still a vet tech. Apparently, someone’s son had kicked the hell out of him and broken his front right arm bad enough that they were going to put him down. Amber, being a lover of all that’s warm and fuzzy prevailed, had a steel pin put in his leg to repair the broken bone, and made sure he stayed alive. He got the name Skippy because he was in a cast from his little paw to his shoulder and had to skip around to get anywhere.

AMCGLTD_Skippy.JPG

Now, like I said, he just wants to play or get loved on. He’s the only cat I know that likes to play tag – he’s almost like a dog (which is a HUGE compliment from me as I’m the resident dog lover). However, he does hate dogs. Even though Pongo (my 13yo black lab/chow mix) wouldn’t hurt a thing, Skippy still whines whenever Pongo gets near him.

The Skipster is also our only cat that likes to go outdoors. One day, just for fun, we put him in a little kitty harness and a leash and took him outside. After a bit of tentativeness, he’s decided he loves it. He almost even walks where you want him to go. Unfortunately, we created a monster with this – now, every chance he gets, he’s in front of the door whining like a 3rd grade girl.

The whining he does can’t be emphasized enough – pick him up and hold him, he whines. Grab his little tail, he whines. Basically, do anything to him and he whines. The upside is that it’s fun to make him whine. And the even bigger upside? He loves me and comes to play even though all I’m gonna do is mess with him until he whines again…

Posted by ron at 05:23 PM eMail this entry!
July 27, 2004
Rate my Kitten

All - Garrison is now on Rate My Kitten. Please go and vote for him - we want to see his stats up...

Dan - the link should be fixed now. Thanks Sherri!

Posted by ron at 06:07 PM eMail this entry!
July 26, 2004
Cat Week strikes again

Today’s Kitty is “Uma” and as you can see she isn’t a small cat (and not really bright, either). She is our resident love-kitty who wants nothing but food and attention.

AMCGLTD_Uma.JPG

Uma originally joined Ron’s household several years ago when he was living in Ohio. Someone’s cat had apparently given birth and the bastard just dropped the kittens near Ron’s warehouse. Uma managed to somehow sneak in the building and took up residence in a stack of pallets. As a precursor to her proven lack of intelligence, she tried to escape the warehouse and hide under Ron’s car. Ron lured her out with a piece of grass and captured her, brought her home and introduced her to his other kitty (Target) who is currently on the Heavy Side Layer. Roughly 4 days after he brought her into his apartment, she finally decided to come out and be seen by the world.

Currently, she lives in the bedroom – she hates Garrison with a calico passion as he has this unholy urge to rape her and she is not that kind of girl. So she decided that living in our bedroom is a much better option. She also licks herself what is loved on, she rolls over (summersaults), and makes little bird/burble noises. If you smack her little (well, not so little) ass too much, she gets a bit over-stimulated and tries to attack your hand – an operation somewhat impeded by the fact that she closes her eyes and turns her head the other way…

She also has the nickname “Uma Toes”. Why? When under furniture, she positions herself in such a way that all you see, if you’re walking through a room, are the tips of her toes. If she was in the musical Cats she would be my Jenny Annie Dots.

Posted by amber at 07:49 PM eMail this entry!
The Great Mouse Chronicles, part the third

Folks, here's the last (well, until another mouse makes it in the house) of the Mouse Chronicles. Note that it does feature Garrison, who is bio'd a bit further down this page.

Okay, here we are again. Amber and I’ve just returned from our normal weekend shopping trips. After everything is put away, I run off to visit the great white throne. All of a sudden, in mid, well, uhmmm, push, I hear a blood-curdling scream. Since I’m kind of stuck, I decide to wait and see if there’s another scream. I do keep hearing, “Let go. Let Go. LET IT GO!!!!!” Then another blood-curdling “SWEETIE PIE!” So, without any, uhmmm, clean-up time, I go running out to see what in the hell is going on (I’m figuring that one of the pets has ingested something poisonous and that without my running out there, they’re going to die. So, after running out I see Amber holding Garrison down – and the cell phone is lying next to them.

Apparently what has happened is that Amber calls Ellen. She then (as Amber can’t just talk on the phone – there must be talking and cleaning) goes into the pantry to grab the broom. Garrison then dove headfirst, much like an Olympic diver, into the pantry. She tries to grab him, but of course, it’s hard to grab 16 pounds of kitty on a mission, especially with just one hand. However, she does grab him. All Amber can see at this point is the mouse’s tail hanging out of Garrison’s mouth – and he’s got a death grip on the thing. She hangs up on Ellen and attempts to get the mouse out, and trying with all her strength to pry his jaws of death open, he relents and lets go. The mouse then makes a beeline to the refrigerator.

This is the point were I finally make my entrance, shorts around my knees (and it isn’t easy to move this way, mind you…). After a quick synopsis, I’m given permission to go and finish taking care of business.

I then return to the kitchen and we formulate a plan. I’ll pull out the fridge and keep the determined kitties out of the kitchen. Amber will jump behind the fridge and snag the mouse (at least I didn’t have a suitcase and suit-wearing mouse dream to deal with this time…). So, the plan is simple. Flawed, but simple.

I successfully get the fridge out and we find the mouse under there. After a few attempts, he comes sprinting out and runs along the floor of the kitchen next to the cabinets where I could snag him. So, I’m trying to get a towel on him when he, much to dismay of Isaac Newton and the laws of inertia, manages to flip around without loosing any momentum and sprint back at Amber, whose stuck kneeling in the hole the fridge sits in. From there, he proceeds to run under her legs. Amber is squealing like a 3rd grade girl with a frog in her pants while trying to snag the little guy. She keeps grabbing and he keeps getting away. Well, after about 10 seconds of this, the mouse gets the idea that a safe thing to do would be to run up Amber’s leg, then down the calf and hide in her flip-flop – while it’s still on her foot. The squealing has now reached epic proportions. There is a bit more squealing, squirming, and then Amber has him. Sort of. He then has the temerity to bite her (didn’t break the skin, no shots needed) which does get him about 3.5 seconds of additional freedom.

Finally, he’s snagged and successfully balled up in a paper towel and a kitchen towel. We take him out to the field, check him to make sure he wasn’t bitten half to death by Garrison, and then the required “ohmygodit’ssocuteihavetotouchit” comes out, the mouse is petted, touched, and otherwise frightened to death, and released. He hops through the grass and heads for the hills.

After later inspection, we find out that the little bastards have eaten a hole in the wall of the pantry and that’s how they’re getting in. Amber has great plans of me patching this with something that’ll prevent more intrusions. However, considering the pure amusement level that I’m getting, I suspect it’ll be awhile…

Posted by ron at 06:08 AM eMail this entry!
July 25, 2004
Small Kitten Doing Better After Being Shot Twice With BB Gun

A 10-week-old kitten shot twice with a BB gun is alive due to the efforts of a good Samaritan out for an early morning walk, Wednesday.

Samperi called the emergency veterinarian's line and left a message. A staff member at St. Johnsbury Animal Hospital called her around 8:30 a.m. and told her to bring the kitten in.

Hoppe said the kitten had been shot once in the head and once in the back end.

Read entire here.

Hey Vermont! Be on the look out for a serial killer in the making.

Posted by Ellen at 08:21 PM eMail this entry!
Cat Week here at the Kitty Condo

As you may know, the Discovery Channel has “Shark Week”, where the entire week is dedicated to different sharks and their behavior, habitats and so on. Well, since we have control over amcgltd.com this week is now “ Cat Week”. Each day a different cat will be highlighted, a small biography will be written dedicated to that feline and all of it’s little quirky idiosyncrasies. It may be one of ours or it could be one of Scott and Ellen’s.

Garrison Phillips

AMCGLTD_Garrison.JPG

Today’s Shark…… is “Garrison”. He is a rotten, badly behaved feline with incredibly selective hearing, who was found outside about 7 years ago and has done nothing constructive since then. He breaks things, chases the other feline residents tries to rape them. (He has no neu-neu’s Editor's note: Neu-Neu's are those things that you had before you went to see the vet and didn't have after - which now means you have a compelling urge to decorate) He is loud, always in the way and eats non-stop. He's the infamous mouse catcher in the house. Editor's Note: Yes, the same one written about in the Great Mouse Chronicles. We have had a few little fuzzy visitors and he thinks they are his personal play things that run and wiggle, and apparently are rather tasty.

Note from Ron - Typically, the first thing people say when they see him is a paraphrase of what they say when they first see Cartman of South Park fame - "Goddammit that's a big, fat cat." He's roughly 5' long from the tip of his toes to the end of his tail when he's stretched out fully. He also weighs around 25lbs when he's healthy. Currently, he has diabetes and has lost an enormous amount of weight, but due to the skill of the vets that Ellen works with and Amber's diligence, he's come back from 13lbs and is up closer to 20 now.

When visitors come over, Garrison steals the show. Everyone loves him and wants to take him home. However, these nice people who claim they are our friends would cease to be were they to take him home and have a large portion of their belongs 'defiled' by him. He is rather destructive and has moved large objects, like coffee tables, by running into or under them. To I think he's doing this to help simplify our lives. For example, we now have 4 wine glasses instead of 6. Those pesky pictures that I framed and put on the coffee table are now gone. Those little knick-knacks on the kitchen counter? Gone. The $700 couch *scratching post* that Ron bought? At least it's and Ikea so we can replace the cover... Apparently, he has a burning desire to visit Shanghai because he's currently trying to dig to China, but has yet to get through that pesky layer of carpet and concrete first.

His current habitat is laying on the dining room table, crawling above the refridgerator, or laying on the tile floors. His favorite foods include his DM (a diabetes specific food), olives, flowers, mice, and anything else he can get his little mouth around.

For those of you who've seen Cats, he's my Rum-Tug Tugger.

Posted by ron at 10:38 AM eMail this entry!
July 24, 2004
The Great Mouse Chronicles, Part the Second

For those of you familiar with the first story, this will come as no surprise. We’ve had another mouse in the house. Shocking, but I guess that since we’re one the ground level and near some uncut grass, trees, and the like, I guess they just naturally explore their surroundings – which includes us. However, these mice are in for a rather large surprise. They duck in the house and think to themselves – I’ve hit the mother load: Food and water lying out in easy to get to spots, plenty of things to hide under, etc. Then, probably 20-30 minutes into their revelry, one of our 7 cats notices them. As you might guess, this is probably quite a shock to a little mouse to see several sets of rather sharpish teeth coming at them rather quickly. Being that mice aren’t particularly good at defending themselves, they tend to run like hell and hide under something until the cats get bored. However, cats don’t bore easily when there is food available…

However, for this particular incident, I have to first take you back to a day prior to the incident. As is normal for my job, I’m up and out of the house almost prior to the sun rising while Amber gets to sleep in until 6:30. So, while on the way to the first appointment, I give her a wake up call. After waking her up, I’m informed that I’ve disrupted her dream and she’s lost her mouse. Her mouse that was wearing a nice suit and carrying a suitcase. A mouse that she picked up at the airport and which subsequently fell through a crack in the floor. A mouse that she was trying desperately to find. Now, I’m thinking that this is a rodent and that loosing it somewhere other than in the house is a good thing, but who am I to comment. However, Amber heads off to work and I put the dream out of my head. Later that night, it comes up again. She is really distraught over the fact that she lost her mouse in a suit with a suitcase. Nevertheless, the evening proceeds as normal and we go to sleep.

As luck would have it, I have to be at an appointment rather early again, so I’m up while Amber’s still sleeping. On the way out the door, I notice that Stinky, our tortoise-shell, is next to one of our bookshelves huffing away. Upon closer inspection, I notice that this is due to the mouse hiding there. Now, I have to leave so I can make my appointment on time, so I let Amber know that there is a mouse in the house – again. Since she’s in a deep sleep, I’m not sure it registers, but I do have to leave.

About 45 minutes later I get a call. Amber’s caught the mouse with a yardstick and a paper towel. However, she didn’t catch it normally. She had to move the bookcase by hand, block the mouse’s escape route, use the yardstick to wedge him up against the wall, then wad him up in the paper towel like a snowball – all while keeping several VERY interested cats away. This, in and of itself, is a rather amazing feat. However, the next part is what was a bit more, well, odd.

Amber then takes the mouse outside and holds it in her hands so she can look at it (she does have a thing for ‘cute’ animals. In hiking through the wilds of everywhere, any animal she sees tends to get the “ohmygoditssocuteletmetouchit. Touch it. TOUCH IT” treatment.). After petting it a few times, the dream comes back to her. This is her mouse in the suit with the suitcase. She’s saved it and now she’s setting it free. The world is now safe for democracy and puppies. We can all sleep safe now. And most importantly, the mouse with the suitcase and the suit is free…

Posted by ron at 11:49 AM eMail this entry!
July 23, 2004
Hot or Not for cats?

Since Hot or Not came out, there've been a view others that I've seen or heard of that follow the same format - rating everything from poo to boobs. Now, in a morning search, I see Rate My Kitten - and for some reason, I'm not amazed anymore...

Note to cat lovers everywhere - just like Hot or Not, you can post your own kitty pixes for approval from the networld. And for some reason, I get the feeling that pics of Amber's and Ellen's cats may soon be posted...

Posted by ron at 06:13 AM eMail this entry!
Get ready for the 'ohmygoditssocute'...

This site, though a bit sparse on any text, does show you random pictures of cute little kittens and the like.

Look at it at your own peril...

Posted by ron at 06:05 AM eMail this entry!
July 22, 2004
Pass the Sunblock Please!

This is a VERY true problem in the cat world! Especially for light colored outdoor/window loving pusses. So Pass the Sunblock! Spf 30!

Slapping on the sunscreen is a well known precaution to prevent the damaging effect of the sun, and for one cat it could be a lifesaver.
Read entire article here.
Posted by Ellen at 02:37 PM eMail this entry!
July 14, 2004
Still no Entry for "Puke in Shoes"

CaptainHowdy gets a multi-lingual no-prize for bringing us this cat translation dictionary:

Miaowmioaw - Have you noticed the shortage of available cat toys in this room?

Mioawmioaw - Since I can find nothing better to play with, I shall see what happens when I sharpen my claws on this handy piece of furniture.

Raowwwww - I think I shall now spend time licking the most private parts of my anatomy.

Ellen already pre-translates everything our cats "say", in their own distinctive voices no less, so my need for this is somewhat less than, say, someone who isn't married to a crazy-old-cat-lady-to-be.

Posted by scott at 01:11 PM eMail this entry!
July 13, 2004
Saving Private Hammer

Just in case all you thought the Army only kept dogs for pets, we have this nice story about an Iraqi-born mouser who got himself adopted in a combat zone:

Pfc. Hammer is an Iraqi tabby cat [the 3rd Brigade Combat team] adopted after he was born last fall at a base in Balad, 50 miles north of Baghdad.

Not to worry, Pfc. Hammer is safe and sound now that the rest of his unit has rotated home.

Via IFOC

Posted by scott at 02:43 PM eMail this entry!
July 11, 2004
Kitten Overboard!

"There was a 9-inch-long kitten doing the paddle and screaming at the top of his lungs," said Rogers, the director of finances at the Clearwater Marine Aquarium. "We scooped him up and he sat on the boat with me for eight hours."

The question: How in the world did a kitten get 3 miles out to sea?

Read entire article here.

Posted by Ellen at 08:39 PM eMail this entry!
July 09, 2004
Cat Card Crazies

Sherri gets a no-prize in a tuna can for bringing us the latest in obscenely cute cat animation and music. Gah. Ellen and Amber only now stopped singing that "Cat, I'm a Kitty Kat" song. Now this...

Posted by scott at 01:30 PM eMail this entry!
July 06, 2004
Annoying Them is Half the Fun

Liz D. gets a helmet-clad no-prize for bringing us what happens to cats when spare time attacks

Yeah, I think we might have featured it before, but can you really have too many cute cats?!?

Posted by scott at 04:02 PM eMail this entry!
Commando Kitty

Joshua gets a camo-and-whisker no-prize for bringing us the commando kitty.

Dogs will die tonight...

Posted by scott at 12:23 PM eMail this entry!
June 23, 2004
Saudis who Don't Want to Blow You Up

Just before he goes on vacation, The Religious Policeman decided to do a little cat-blogging of his own:

I'm not an expert on cat breeds, but I rather think that our local cats have thinner faces, longer ears, and rougher fur, than the typical Western breed.

Probably right, although the many pictures (including some insanely cute kittens) look about the same as the ones who come through Ellen's clinic all the time. No longhaired ones though, for obvious reasons.

I often wondered what, if any, sort of cat inhabited Saudi Arabia. Now I know!

Posted by scott at 01:06 PM eMail this entry!
June 14, 2004
Cat Tub

Ron gets a no-prize in a wooden tub for bringing us this bit of Engrish, whose theme fits in well with this site.

Posted by scott at 08:18 AM eMail this entry!
June 03, 2004
Kitty Cat Dance Dance Dance Song!

It's Addictive!!

I found this off an LJ who in turn found it from G-Shack.com

Posted by Ellen at 07:07 PM eMail this entry!
Cat Herding, The Video

I Laugh every time I watch this.

You'll need to be patient and have Quick Time to view the video.

Posted by Ellen at 04:55 PM eMail this entry!
May 23, 2004
The Dark Side

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I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Posted by Ellen at 04:42 PM eMail this entry!
Zippo Kitty

Cute yet functionable!

NSFW due to PrOn ads!

Posted by Ellen at 03:52 PM eMail this entry!
May 16, 2004
What The!?
hamster3.jpg

What the hell is this thing!?

Posted by Ellen at 05:45 PM eMail this entry!
May 13, 2004
Rescued Kitty Cat Turns Out To Be Bobcat

A woman rescued what was described as a "funky-looking house cat" after the animal was hit by a car near Santa Cruz, California.

It turns out the ten-pound cat was no ordinary housecat. It was a bobcat -- with sharp claws and long fangs.

Posted by Ellen at 07:57 PM eMail this entry!
May 10, 2004
Orange, Fuzzy, Evil

Fark linked up this story about a "vicious" guard cat:

[Postmen] say their hands are being ripped to shreds by ginger tom Bat as they shove post through the cat flap.

Includes a picture of the little miscreant. Ellen would probably coo and say it was cute!!!

Posted by scott at 11:50 AM eMail this entry!
May 09, 2004
Cat Shearing
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Goblin and the summer fur-style

Posted by Ellen at 07:18 PM eMail this entry!
Can You See Me Now?
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Either Ajax is attempting some form of camouflage OR he is getting ready to suffocate himself...again.

Posted by Ellen at 07:02 PM eMail this entry!
Cat That Traveled From China To Fla. Gets Limo Ride To New Home

8-Month-Old Cat Survived Monthlong Journey In Cargo Container

TAMPA, Fla. -- A cat that survived a monthlong journey from China to Tampa in a cargo container received a much more luxurious ride to its new home Friday in a limousine.

Ultra Pet Co. of South Carolina arranged the limousine ride and donated a year's supply of kitty litter to the cat and her adoptive family, said Hillsborough County spokeswoman Donna Olmstead.

Read entire article here.

Posted by Ellen at 09:17 AM eMail this entry!
May 02, 2004
Take That!

takethat.jpg

One of the few pictures of Ted being beaten by Ajax.

Posted by scott at 10:58 AM eMail this entry!
April 26, 2004
Pfc. Hammer Finds a Home

WASHINGTON, April 24, 2004 – A tiger-striped Iraqi kitten that wiggled its way into the hearts of a U.S. Army unit has made its way to the United States, thanks to a host of volunteers and two animal welfare groups.

Pfc. Hammer, an Iraq-born cat that befriended soldiers of Headquarters and Headquarters Company, 1st Battalion, 8th Infantry Regiment, 4th Infantry Division, during their deployment in Iraq, arrives in San Francisco, Calif., enroute to his new home in Colorado.

Soldiers with Headquarters and Headquarters Company, 1st Battalion, 8th Infantry Regiment, 4th Infantry Division, dubbed the tiny ball of fur that wandered into their tent early last fall "Pfc. Hammer."

Read entire article here.

Thanks to Mama for the link.

Posted by scott at 09:35 PM eMail this entry!
April 25, 2004
Olivia the Cat
otabby.jpg

MMMrROOOWW!!!!

Posted by Ellen at 02:51 PM eMail this entry!
April 24, 2004
Four on the Floor

From Mat, more of the metal kitties!

MMRROOOOOWWW!!!!!!

Posted by Ellen at 08:32 PM eMail this entry!
April 15, 2004
Taiwanese Cat Is Toilet Trained

TAIPEI, Taiwan - A white and tan Taiwanese cat made his successful television debut — on the toilet.

"Tiger" showed off his skills Wednesday, hopping on the front end of the toilet seat and carefully balancing himself as he did his business.

Tiger's owner, Dong Hsiu-yuan, told reporters in her home in central Taichung County that the former stray cat only recently acquired his toilet skills.

"Last week, I saw him jump on the toilet. I didn't know what he was doing and then I noticed he was urinating," she told CTI cable news.

Dong said that Tiger was self-taught. "He would watch me from the bathroom doorway. If I closed the door, then he would meow loudly," she told SCT cable news.

Although Tiger's skills are impressive, he still hasn't mastered the art of flushing.

We have a cat that comes into work named Tom(abyssinian)and he wound not potty for 2 days. When I told the owner this, she exclaimed that I needed to take him to the toilet to go. He was potty trained. Took the cat to the potty, and he went. WEIRD!
Posted by Ellen at 07:14 PM eMail this entry!
Cat Survives 30-Day Trip in Shipping Box

TAMPA, Fla. - A business owner opening a shipment of 400 bird cages sent from China got an additional order he didn't expect — a severely undernourished cat.

The female cat, named China by animal service staff members, tips the scale at just over 3 pounds after being trapped in the container for the nearly monthlong trip.

Read entire story here.

Posted by Ellen at 07:08 PM eMail this entry!
April 11, 2004
Carnival of the Cats Pix

Ted the Cat

ted2.jpg

Isn't he handsome! This cat can run through the house with rip roaring diarrhea and manage somehow to get it on the walls. NaStY!

Remember, Ted has Tetrology of Fallot with PDA, a rare heart disease. Ted turned 4 in December.

Posted by Ellen at 06:22 PM eMail this entry!
CatBanana

I'm sure this cat is not enjoying this.

NSFW due to pop ups!

Silly!

Posted by Ellen at 05:01 PM eMail this entry!
April 09, 2004
Decapitated cat video backfires on Ford

Even for the most lateral-thinking advertising executive, it appears to have been a catastrophic misjudgment. An online advert for a Ford car in which a cat is decapitated by a sunroof has been condemned by animal charities.

The internet video clip to promote the Ford SportKa features a ginger domestic cat leaping on to the car's bonnet, peering into the open sunroof and getting guillotined when the panel closes. The cat's headless body is then seen sliding down the windscreen.

The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals failed to see the funny side. "Using highly distasteful depictions of animal suffering to sell a product is abhorrent," a spokesman said. "The concept should never have been mooted and we hope that the outcry will send a clear message to advertising agencies that making fun of cruelty is unacceptable."

Read entire article here.

I personally have not seen nor do I want to see this video. I hope FORD loses quite a bit of buisness from bullshit like this. Even better, the schmuck that created the video should lose his job. Cruelty does not sell.

Posted by Ellen at 09:53 PM eMail this entry!
April 08, 2004
Ancient Kitty

CaptainHowdy gets a scratching-post shaped no-prize for bringing us news of the earliest yet known sign of feline domestication:

Man tamed the cat around 9,500 years ago, more than 5,000 years than previously thought, according to a find of an ancient feline skeleton in Cyprus.

Of course, it could also be argued this represents some sort of cultic sacrifice, but who knows. Maybe cavemen had to worry about irritated felines widdling in their shoes just like we do.

Posted by scott at 03:26 PM eMail this entry!
April 04, 2004
The Carnival of the Cats

It's up!! Go to Amish Tech Support for all of the entries!

Posted by Ellen at 09:53 PM eMail this entry!
Kiss That!

Scott don't you dare take this down! It's for the Carnival of the Cats!

Click below at your own risk... --Scott

catass.jpg

Posted by Ellen at 11:05 AM eMail this entry!
April 02, 2004
Bad Kitty! No Biscuit!

Funny only because nobody got hurt, this cat took one wild ride:

A grumpy house cat was the toast of New Zealand traffic authorities after it survived a hairy ride through a city clinging to the roof of a car, with the driver unaware of the drama.

I wonder if it was a landau top?

Posted by scott at 09:07 AM eMail this entry!
March 27, 2004
Happy Birthday Coconut!

Happy 8th Birthday Coconut!

cococouch.jpg
Posted by Ellen at 08:27 AM eMail this entry!
March 25, 2004
Better to Ignore you With

Lilly, a six-month old black and white house cat with four ears is seen in a home for animals in Murnau, southern Germany on March 24, 2004. A four-eared German kitten has been given a new home after a German animal shelter was deluged with requests to adopt the animal born six months ago with the genetic defect.

See totally cute cat pix here.

Found via Amish Tech Support.

Posted by Ellen at 06:26 PM eMail this entry!
March 21, 2004
Kitten Rescued from Bank Teller Tube

This is just f'd up

A kitten was stranded deep in the tube of an abandoned bank drive-through. The female calico was smaller than a hot-dog bun and probably just 1 day old.

Read entire article here.
Posted by Ellen at 10:53 AM eMail this entry!
March 15, 2004
I Think Our Bunch Came This Way from the Factory

Rob E. gets a wobbly no-prize for bringing us Confuse A Cat Ltd.:

We are Confuse A Cat. We have been in the business of feline bewilderment for over 30 years and we are exceptionally good at it. Never once have we failed to confuse a cat which we set-out to confuse.

Ellen just got a giant dinner table with a glass top, so for two days we had no need of their services. Now that she's covered it with a table cloth, I suppose we'll have to re-up our contract after all.

Posted by scott at 11:56 AM eMail this entry!
March 11, 2004
I Dream of Kitties

How cool is this shirt?

Go support animals in need and buy one today!

Posted by Ellen at 06:51 PM eMail this entry!
March 06, 2004
Cat with Hands

This really should go under Weird and F'd up.

Cat with Hands.

Posted by Ellen at 05:43 PM eMail this entry!
February 15, 2004
Marked Territory

Enjoy another cat metal video!

Posted by Ellen at 12:26 PM eMail this entry!
February 04, 2004
Cat Feces Fumes Poison Vet

From Yahoo.com

STOCKHOLM (Reuters) - A vet sent to inspect a strong stench coming from an uninhabited rural cottage in south-west Sweden collapsed, poisoned by fumes from the feces of some 20 cats locked inside for months, a newspaper reported Tuesday.

The regional daily Goteborgs-Posten said the vet spent three days in hospital with hydrogen sulphide poisoning.

Rescue workers equipped with gas masks had to be called to the scene to bring out the cats, which were taken to an animal shelter, the newspaper said.

Posted by Ellen at 07:22 PM eMail this entry!
February 03, 2004
The Laughing Cat

NO-PRIZES to Rich and Pat for sending me The Laughing Cat!

Posted by Ellen at 06:19 AM eMail this entry!
February is Pet Dental Month Part 2

Time to clean those teeth again for Rover and Fluffy!

But, I got an update for you all. Veterinary medicine seems to change all the time, and we sit and preach to our clients the basics of good pet care until some veterinary researcher pulls a twist or essentially in this case, an OOPS!

According to the AAFP (American Association of Feline Practitioners) wet food does not contribute to dental disease any more than dry food does.

Ok, this is rather annoying. For the past 10 years, it has been * WET FOOD IS A NO NO! * Now it's * WET FOOD IS GRAND! YUMMY! FEED IT ALL THE TIME!*

So like any good veterinary technician should, I listened to the AAFP and started my own bunch on wet food. After all, cats are true carnivores and should eat a meat-based diet. Plus our clients are given a Carnivore Connection handout from JAVMA (Journal of American Veterinary Medical Association)

Wet food has additionally been proven to keep your cat leaner, aid in diabetic health and add that extra moisture your cat's kidneys need.

The nice side to the wet food is that it doesn't matter what brand you feed, as long as the first 3 ingredients are water, meat and more meat (or meat byproduct- not chicken heads and feet. It's the gizzards)

So get out there and get your pet on the right diet, and don't forget to brush it's teeth!

Posted by Ellen at 06:10 AM eMail this entry!
January 31, 2004
Garrison Update

Well we got the fructosamine results back! Garrison's fructosamine is above 700. 722 for that matter. The highest we have seen at our cat hospital.

Normally a well maintained diabetic's fructosamine should be below 400.

For those of you who don't know what fructosamine is, read the following:

Fructosamines are serum proteins (albumin and others) that have undergone nonenzymatic, insulin-independent glycosylation. Serum fructosamine concentration is proportional to the blood glucose concentration over the lifespan of the glycated protein being measured. The lifespan of albumin in dogs (and presumably in cats) is 1-2 weeks. Thus, the serum fructosamine concentration should reflect the mean blood glucose concentration over the preceding 7-10 days.

Determining fructosamine concentrations cannot obviate the need for blood glucose curves, which remain the best way to monitor diabetic animals, especially at the beginning of treatment when choosing the correct type of insulin and optimal dosing schedules. Once glycemic control is obtained, fructosamine levels can be used together with clinical signs for further monitoring. If the fructosamine level is elevated, a blood glucose curve should be performed to determine the necessary changes.

Garrison started on his insulin last night for the first time. Humulin-L to be exact. 1 unit twice per day to start. Now Amber and I have to have a glucose curve party in a week. :)

Thanks to Antech Diagnostics for all the great labwork they do for animals!

Posted by Ellen at 11:25 AM eMail this entry!
January 30, 2004
CWSI Opposes Mass Cat-Poisoning

The Cat Welfare Society of Israel is calling on cat lovers everywhere to support them in their legal battle to halt a massive cat-poisoning campaign in Israel.

In reality, Tardemon causes cats, or any other animals who eat it, to die slowly and in extreme pain. The ordeal may last from a few hours up to a few days.

Sadly, there is still no public budget available for cat welfare in Israel. Cat lovers there frequently express frustration at the lack of sensitivity to cat suffering displayed by officialdom, and the absence of government-supported spay/neuter/vaccination programs.

American donors can make tax-deductible contributions. To be tax-deductible, donations should be over $35 U.S. and made through PEF Israel Endowment Funds (www.pefisrael.org) in New York.

Read entire article here.
Posted by Ellen at 08:48 PM eMail this entry!
Feline Advisory Bureau Releases 'Cat Personality Report'

The UK's Feline Advisory Bureau (FAB) has produced a 'cat personality report' entitled 'Up Close and Purrsonal,' based on a survey of 1,853 British cat guardians and cat breeders.

The survey's findings included the discovery that almost half the cats hate car travel, although 16% reportedly enjoy it, and 10% have never been in a car.

See entire article here.

Posted by Ellen at 08:43 PM eMail this entry!
January 29, 2004
Garrison Update

Garrison may be diabetic. Thats what the bloodwork says.

He has a glucose level of 464 mg/dl. The normal is below 200. Stressed.

Of course his CBC is beautiful and does not indicate cancer at this point in time.

So now I'm stuck waiting for a fructosamine sample to come back. Sunday, Amber invited us over for football and a 'pee-party', so I can get a sterile urine sample on him to run at work on monday.

Weee!

Posted by Ellen at 08:53 PM eMail this entry!
January 28, 2004
Garrison

What do you do when you have to tell your friend that her cat may be really ill?

How does it look when you try to remain professional yet not bawl your eyes out because you have known this cat for several years and something may be really wrong with him?

Tomorrow we find out whats going on. Tomorrow we get to see why this cat has enlarged lympnodes and an enlarged spleen. Tomorrow I get his complete bloodwork back. Tomorrow we find out.

Twelve hours seems like a long time away.

Posted by Ellen at 08:50 PM eMail this entry!
January 18, 2004
Assistance

Ajax has decided to take Olivia under his fuzzy cat wing (paw?) and show her the in's and out's of life itself. Well, cat in's and out's anyway. We expect her to start climbing the curtains any day now. He's also decided that it was time to show her that things out of a baby food jar taste pretty darn good.

I was giving Olivia her lunch the other day when she refused to eat what I made up for her. It was her favorite. Sweet potatoes and rice cereal. Nope she wanted none of that today. Until Ajax stepped in.

Me: "Oh look! MMmmm... don't you want some?"

Olivia: *blink blink* mouth tightly shut, sniff, look away.

Me: "Mmmm... ya sure now? Cause if you don't want it, I'm going to give it to Ajax. See, he'll eat it!" whereapon I held a spoonful of potato and rice at the cat's mouth for him to sniff. Cat goes in for a taste. Cat realizes this is not his regular baby food he eats but will play along anyway.

Olivia: "Bah! Bah! Bah! DAAA!!!!" Then she started to sway and makes a grab for the cat, so he just leans away from her.

Me: "Mmm... see! Ajax likes it!"

Olivia: *mouth opens for food, and THRRRPPTTTTSS!! raspberries it all over me and the white cat*

Ajax then looks at me as if to say, "I am not going to clean this stuff off. Go get a paper towel and wipe me down or I will wear this all day. "

Our next feat for O, not to touch the cat's butt.

Posted by Ellen at 01:03 PM eMail this entry!
Cat Rumbles

I found this site via Joanie, aka Da Goddess, one of my regular daily reads.

Finally someone out there just as nutty about cats!

AHHH!!!! The smell of wet three-da-old-fish catfood, picking fur out of your food, needing to scoop the litterbox!

Scott: "You big dork, the site is a huge joke. GutRumbles is a cranky old guy who gripes about politics and throws rocks at kids on his lawn. He's, like, in Jamaica or something, gave Joanie his password. Joanie did it."

Me: "She did?" (yes, I sounded that stupid! LOL)

Scott: "Yeah, no one out there is a big cat dork like you are. If you find someone else, I expect you to run away with them and leave us all behind."

Me: "It's really a joke?"

Scott: "Yes and you fell for it! MUHAHAHAH!!! "

Me: "Oh jeeze... and I even emailed him saying 'Wow! what a great cat blog!'" *at this point in time I am laughing so hard I'm about to wet my pants.* Yeah yeah... big practical joke on me :) And here I got excited about a cat blog! DOH! :):)

Combine the severe lack of sleep and being a full time dork, what you get is me! :)

Ok, after Rob's done with you Joanie, we're next!

I think I just pulled a Jessica Simpson. Well, you know, except for the blonde hair and fake boobies.

Posted by Ellen at 12:41 PM eMail this entry!
January 15, 2004
Cat Pixes

Go check out this site on cat pictures! Too cute!

Thanks to Jeff for the link! You get a cat shaped No-Prize!

Posted by Ellen at 06:05 PM eMail this entry!
January 11, 2004
Panic Mouse

This is the latest cat toy in our house. Thanks to a kitty grandma in Arkansas, our cats have gone bonkers over their own robot. So far Ted has decided this is the best damn toy ever!

Posted by Ellen at 06:50 PM eMail this entry!
Cat and Bear Odd Couple Reunited in Zoo

BERLIN (Reuters) - Muschi, a small cat that formed an unlikely friendship with a half-ton bear called "mouse" in Berlin Zoo, has been reunited with her companion after pining outside the bear's cage for months, the zoo said Friday.

"They sunbathed together and shared meals of raw meat, dead mice, fruit and bread."

Read entire article here.
Posted by Ellen at 06:32 PM eMail this entry!
A Cat Named Annie

Not to miss! Lots of video footage of a super talented cat.

Posted by Ellen at 05:13 PM eMail this entry!
January 07, 2004
Bird-lover's cat eats rare robin

Keep an eye on this story. I'm sure in no time we are going to hear the British bitch again about cats eating birds (they ran an article last year on the subject).

Perhaps they will start keeping their cats indoors now?

Posted by Ellen at 06:52 AM eMail this entry!
January 04, 2004
Animal Shelters Prepare for Influx of Returned Pets

Shelter workers are bracing for an increase in the number of animals they will have to care for as people given pets for Christmas decide the lovable gift really is a hassle.

Starting about a week after Christmas, the reality of caring for a new pet sets in and people often turn the animal over to a shelter, said Nick Braden, a spokesman for The Humane Society of the United States.

See entire story here.

This brings me to step up on my soap box once again.

"Oh puh-leeezeee! can I have that kitten!? I promise I'll feed him and change the litter and everything! Puh-leeeeze!?!"

Same goes for the dogs.

"Pleeeaseee Mom and Dad! I want a puppy really bad! I promise I'll feed and walk him all the time! You won't have to do a thing!"

Then the parents realize one day as they set the food bowl down, go out walking their new family addition, or scooping out the litterbox that they are doing what the small person in the family promised to do. Suddenly an hour or two of time out of their day to care for an animal becomes too much time to give.

That kitten/puppy has to go back to the shelter in hopes that it will get adopted again, or god forbid some schmuck tosses it out a car window on the side of the road. People too stupid to realize that the kitten they gave back could have been a lifetime companion for someone in that house. A companion that never tells your secrets, always enjoys a warm lap, and loves you unconditionally. A puppy that looks foward to your company everyday. That sits and waits for you at the door faithfully knowing that you are going to return and rub it's belly again. The dog that helped you lose those stubborn 10 holiday pounds from all of those walks.

I have no sympathy for those out there who return holiday pets. I have sympathy for the poor creatures that think they are going to be loved but get returned like a sweater.

Makes you wonder why people need a license to own a pet, but not to have children.

Posted by Ellen at 03:32 PM eMail this entry!
December 26, 2003
Rhode Island Cat Turns Up in Seattle

MIDDLETOWN, R.I. - The O'Connor family has its own Christmas miracle: Its cat that had been missing for two months was found clear across the country.

Read entire article here.
Posted by Ellen at 03:09 PM eMail this entry!
December 18, 2003
Garfield Movie Trailer

Just in case you have not checked it out yet.

Posted by scott at 09:22 PM eMail this entry!
December 16, 2003
Keepin' Warm

A silly little game to pass some time with: Warm Your Pussy. Oh, you think that's bad? You should hear Ellen and her friend Amber "talk pussy".

Posted by scott at 01:05 PM eMail this entry!
December 15, 2003
The 12 "Cat" Days of Christmas

Ok, sing along, cat lovers!

On the first day of Christmas when I brought home my tree, my 12 cats were laughing at me.

On the second day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the third day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the fourth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the fifth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the sixth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the seventh day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the eighth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the ninth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
9 chewed-through light strings
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the tenth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
10 tinsel hairballs
9 chewed-through light strings
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the eleventh day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
11 broken branches
10 tinsel hairballs
9 chewed-through light strings
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the twelfth day of Christmas I looked at my poor tree 12 cats a-climbing
11 broken branches
10 tinsel hairballs
9 chewed-through light strings
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands

and my 12 cats laughing at me!

Posted by Ellen at 08:04 PM eMail this entry!
December 12, 2003
Scientists devise new nutritional solution for cat hairballs

Mark Cook, animal scientist at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, and researchers at the Nestlé Purina PetCare Company have devised a way to help dissolve hairballs by using agents that break up, or emulsify, fats. Cook and his collaborators, Beth Drake, Leonard Girsch and Janet Jackson, conceived the idea after discovering that hairballs can contain up to 30 percent fat.

Read entire article here.

Thanks to Three Peas in a Pod for the entry! You get a sticky scarf and barf hairball no-prize!

Posted by Ellen at 07:43 PM eMail this entry!
December 09, 2003
Happy Birthday Teddy Bear!

To my favorite naughty striped cat:

Happy 4th Birthday!!

I love you more each day. I can't believe it's been 4 years! I still remember when I was told you would not make it to your first birthday. I hope to have you around for many more birthdays.

~Love, Mommy Cat

Posted by Ellen at 06:42 AM eMail this entry!
November 30, 2003
Kitty Soup Kitchen

People often refer to him simply as "the cat man", which Shaw notes is not exactly a clever or original name. He is more like the postman, but even more dependable: He makes his deliveries despite snowstorms and hurricanes and doesn't skip holidays or weekends, all for the love of the cats.

Read entire article here.

Posted by Ellen at 12:45 PM eMail this entry!
November 17, 2003
Fruit Cat

What to do with a cat and a fruit rind.

Thanks to James, you get a lemon-wedged No- Prize!

Posted by Ellen at 08:36 PM eMail this entry!
November 05, 2003
Ngnat's Bedtime Story

Scott sent me this story from Silflay Hraka's site.

Ngnat had been a little girl all of her life. She was a little girl when she got out of bed in the morning, and a little girl when she went to bed at night.

But one day, when she woke up, something had happened. Instead of hands, Ngnat had a pair of paws! Instead of feet, Ngnat had another pair of paws! Instead of a bottom, Ngnat had a tail, and it swished back and forth, back and forth as she watched it. Ngnat had turned into a kitty!

Now go read the rest of it!

Posted by Ellen at 05:26 PM eMail this entry!
October 23, 2003
Marry Your Pet

Only if I knew earlier! I could have married Ted or Ajax and not have a falling apart car in the garage, or a soopa computer downstairs or someone snoring next to me at night :)

But then again, I would still have to deal with someone peeing on the door leading to the garage.

Posted by Ellen at 08:15 PM eMail this entry!
October 19, 2003
Shaving your pussy's Nose

This breeder goes through a very lengthy session on how to shave a cat's nose in order to see a 'mascara' line.

Why make a cat deal with soap and a razor when you can use one of these?

Posted by Ellen at 10:20 PM eMail this entry!
October 10, 2003
Exclusive Interview with Witness at Vegas's Siegfried and Roy Show

Wynn gave an exclusive interview to Eyewitness News Anchor, Gary Waddell on Wednesday. He explained, "What happened Friday night was a fluke, something that never should have occurred. And something that no one could have foreseen." He continued to say, "That even as Roy was being carried off stage by the tiger, he was saying he didn't want anything to happen to the cat."

"As Roy was leading Montecore out to stage front on a lease, the cat became fascinated and distracted by woman with a big hairdo in the front row." Wynn says instead of Montecore following Roy through his usual routine, the cat became fascinated with a woman in the audience that had a big hairdo. "For whatever reason, Montecore was fascinated and distracted by the guest sitting ringside."

Wynn says Montecore just leaned over Roy and picked him up like he was a cub. Wynn says it was not a bite or an attack. "There was no damage to Roy's neck, but there were two puncture wounds and one of those teeth went through Roy's vertebral artery and severed it -- the one behind his neck -- that's what caused the stroke and massive bleeding putting him in a near-death situation."

Read entire interview here.
Posted by Ellen at 02:44 PM eMail this entry!
October 09, 2003
Fussed-over felines flock to New York

Cat Show!!!

Thanks to Jeff for the link.

Posted by Ellen at 08:52 PM eMail this entry!
Parting with a Pet

This was sent to me via Jeff.

Oct. 8 — Boo Boo Kitty is no more. In the end, the end was quite sudden. In the few months since I had written the medical saga of Boo Boo Kitty (his real name was Sam but somehow the ridiculous nickname stuck), he had seemed to be doing well, although there were some troubling issues that I recognize now in retrospect.

Read entire article here.

Posted by Ellen at 08:45 PM eMail this entry!
October 04, 2003
NO! I don't Want To Jump Through That Damn Hoop Again!

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (AP) -- A tiger attacked magician Roy Horn of the duo "Siegfried & Roy" at his throat during a Friday night performance at The Mirage hotel-casino, authorities said.

Cats are cats. Big cats are another thing. You just can't domesticate them no matter how hard you try. They are just wired differently. After a while, an animal has had enough, has had a bad day maybe because they could not lounge in the sun as long as they wanted and they snap.

Roy is lucky that all he got was a bite and not his head bitten off. *listed in critical condition*

What they don't tell you is what happened to the cat.

Posted by Ellen at 07:18 AM eMail this entry!
September 29, 2003
Metal Kitties

The Metal Kitties bring us another song called *Scratch*.

Thanks to Eyeenvision for sending me the link!

Posted by Ellen at 08:23 AM eMail this entry!
September 26, 2003
Cat Kills Owner

Now before you all whine and cry on thats why a cat needs to be declawed, READ the fucking story ok? Pay particular attention to where it happened and what the owner fed it. M-kay?

A 76-year-old woman in Thessaloniki paid for her love for animals with her life, when she was attacked in her apartment by her cat, and died of blood loss.

Read entire story here.

This is a VERY VERY rare case. I'm not even 100% sure if this was a domesticated (note that I said domesticated) house cat. I guess the cat wanted FRESH raw meat.

Posted by Ellen at 07:50 PM eMail this entry!
Home Again
Elizabeth gets a kitty No-prize for bringing us this story!

SAN CARLOS, California (AP) -- Call it Ted's excellent adventure, with a high-tech twist: A cat with an ID microchip implanted under his skin was returned to his owner 10 years after he jumped out a window and vanished.
Posted by Ellen at 10:38 AM eMail this entry!
September 16, 2003
Have Cat, Will Travel

Fark also linked up this story about an Infinity Q-45 (it's a car, mom) that needed, in their words, "de-kittening." No worries, everyone ended up just fine. Oh stop crying Ellen.

Posted by scott at 08:38 AM eMail this entry!
September 07, 2003
Snow Baby

This picture of a snow leopard is too cute !

Posted by Ellen at 09:22 AM eMail this entry!
September 01, 2003
The Crayola Experiment

Someone in my house has been taking a sh*t by the garage door every day for the past several months. I don't know who it is... it's not Scott I know that (in the distance, "is that right?") It's one of the cats. I'm pretty sure who it is, but not 100%.

It's annoying to find cat crap on your floor every day. There's no need for it. There are plenty of litter boxes in this house. There are 2 types of litter in this house. The litter boxes are changed on a daily basis, sometimes twice a day. I've done everything by the behavior book.

All of the cats went to work with me for bloodwork, urine, xrays, you name it, we did it and everything turned out fine excpet that Ajax has pancreatitis and Magrat has some renal issues. (So I'll say this once, so I do not get asinine comments. I work in a cats only veterinary facility. I am a licensed vet tech, My cats can have problems too.)

Mind you, Ajax is so mad at Scott for not letting him into his garage to play with his tools, he pees against his garage door several times a week. This is more annoying that cat shit. I have managed in the past to burn out a Hoover Steam Vac at our old apartment trying to clean pee smell out of carpet.

This is where the new experiment comes in. One of the new veterinarians that I work with is into behavior. *Woohoo!* When I told her about the problem, she was all gung-ho to help out. One of the things I had to do for her was fill out this behavioral questionare. It was not a quesitonaire. Questionaires are 20 questions. This was a novel. A novel that seriously needed an editor.

This is where the crayons come in. I am supposed to shave crayons and feed them to the cats and that should tell me who is taking a shit on the floor once and for all. So there I was last night, shaving 2 crayons. I started with Ted and Ajax. Ted is Carnation Pink, and Ajax is Yellow/Green. Why those two cats first? Because those two will eat anything put in front of them. Especially if it's mixed with baby food. I could stir gravel into it and end up with cement poop a day later.

So, everything was ready. The two most suspicious culprits were "loaded", the downstairs was cleaned, we even put some extra-attractive empty boxes for "insurance." Sure enough, next morning we had two class-A piles on the floor, lacking only a few buzzing flies to convincingly imitate horsepiles on the trailside of the old west. Well, from really tiny, really smelly horses. And the culprit was...

Nobody. Absolutely nothing. Just two stinky piles defiantly left by our very own phantom poopster.

Goblin gets tested tonight. Coconut does not get tested. The cat lives in the closet upstairs and like a good girl uses the potty box.

Hopefully today or tomorrow, someone will poop out the crayons.

Posted by Ellen at 09:30 AM eMail this entry!
August 30, 2003
Toonces the Driving Cat

He drives around all over the town, it's TooNces the driving cat!

Posted by Ellen at 06:18 PM eMail this entry!
July 31, 2003
Cat-killing culprits discovered
Posted by Ellen at 11:58 AM eMail this entry!
July 29, 2003
Malpractice Cases Spike ... for Pets

Animal Owners Sue Vets for Emotional Damages

New York, Connecticut, New Jersey, and Rhode Island are considering legislation granting pet owners the right to sue for pain and suffering damages, including punitive damages for neglect or abuse. Tennessee enacted such a law in 2000 and Illinois passed a version of the law last year. West Virginia has removed caps that once limited damages to the assessed value of a pet.

The trend is part of a growing push to recast pet owners as "guardians" in the eyes of the law, a shift that has some legal scholars worried.

See entire article here.

~Working in the veterinary field and being a slave to my cats, I can see why the law should change. You don't lose a pet, you lose a family member.

Posted by Ellen at 05:20 PM eMail this entry!
July 23, 2003
Which Hello Kitty Are You?
Posted by Ellen at 03:19 PM eMail this entry!
July 17, 2003
More on the Meowlingual

Here is a bit more detailed information on the Meowlingual.

Funny thing is that your cat does not wear it. You actually have to hold it up to your cat and hope that he will talk into it!

Thanks to Rich and Dianne for both sending me the story this morning! No-Prizes!

Posted by Ellen at 05:31 PM eMail this entry!
Stupid is...

Larry asks the eternal question:

How can one tell if their cat is smart, stupid, or somewhere in between? By what standard is a cat's intelligence judged?

My wife's answer would probably be simple if I asked her... "All cats are brilliant. Dumbass."

I think cats are situationally brilliant. Well, at least some of them. I've got five who get free room, board, medical care, and freedom to crap and yak wherever they please. How brilliant is that? However, I'm pretty sure that's not what he's talking about. I'd judge their smarts by balancing the stupid things they did against the smart ones. Whichever end of the ratio is larger is how you judge their brains.

So, for example, when Ajax rolls off the end of the bed, that's an entry in the "dumb" column. When he stomps on Ellen's bladder in the morning to get some food, that's an entry in the "smart" column.

Ah hell, what do I know. They sure trained my wife well, I'll say that.

Posted by scott at 11:03 AM eMail this entry!
July 16, 2003
Cat Physics

One of my friends sent me this in an email this morning.

Law of Cat Inertia: A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force -- such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Acceleration: A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Cat Motion: A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Landing: A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid-section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

First Law of Energy Conservation: Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Law of Bag / Box Occupancy: All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nano- second.

Law of Cat Composition: A cat is composed of Matter + Anti- Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

Law of Cat Disinterest: A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Cat Elongation: A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Embarrassment: A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Cat Magnetism: All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Obstruction: A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Cat Sleeping: All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching: A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Thermo-dynamics: Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance: Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction: Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Fluid Displacement: A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

Law of Furniture Replacement: A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Milk Consumption: A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

Law of Obedience Resistance: A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

Law of Pill Rejection: Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking: A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Refrigerator Observation: If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Rug Configuration: No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Second Law of Energy Conservation: Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Posted by Ellen at 11:17 AM eMail this entry!
What Your Cat Is Trying to Tell You

Jeff brings us this story on a new gadget to interpret what your cat is saying to you.

Takara Co, a major Japanese toy maker, said on Wednesday it would launch a device called the "Meowlingual" that can interpret a cat's meow, hoping to repeat its success with the "Bowlingual," a dog translation device.

Scott says all our cats would ever say would be: " I'm hungry!, No! Not that flavor of canned food! or You really think I want to take a shit in that dirty box? I think I'll go use the carpet instead."

Posted by Ellen at 11:01 AM eMail this entry!
Family discovers its cat nursing mice

Canadian Press
Jul. 15, 2003 05:15 PM

CRANBROOK, Canada - A family awoke Tuesday to find their cat nursing two mice - along with her seven week-old kittens.

Read entire story here.

Posted by Ellen at 10:57 AM eMail this entry!
July 15, 2003
Dead Russian cat could be honoured

MOSCOW (Reuters) - A police cat who proved adept at sniffing out fish smugglers in southern Russia could be honoured with a memorial plaque after dying in the line of duty, one of his former owners says.

Read entire story here

Thanks to Jeff for the latest update on this story! Kitty No-Prize to you!

Posted by Ellen at 06:30 AM eMail this entry!
July 14, 2003
My Cats Hate You

I know I have linked this site before, but it looks like it has been revamped a bit and not everyone sending in pixes of their cats are being total dickheads. They are actually getting creative!

Thanks to Joshua for sending the link to My Cat Hates You.com

You get the bad ass Kitty No-Prize of the day!

Posted by Ellen at 01:39 PM eMail this entry!
July 13, 2003
Curiosity kills sniffer cat

This just sucks

Curiosity DID NOT kill the cat, the damn Russian with the f*&king car did.

All this over a damn fish.

Posted by Ellen at 03:48 PM eMail this entry!
July 11, 2003
Tiny Kitten Found Next to Braves Dugout, Finds New Home With Fick

Jeff sends us this story .

NEW YORK (AP) - Robert Fick had a simply purrfect day at Shea Stadium.

The Braves first baseman hit an RBI single, scored two runs and his team won. Oh, he also found himself a new pet.

Atlanta was taking the field for batting practice Tuesday night when Fick saw something furry in the grass right outside the third-base dugout.

No-Prize to Jeff!

Posted by Ellen at 03:49 PM eMail this entry!
Live Nude Cats!

They're LIVE, They're NUDE, They're CATS!

Frolicking Furry Feline Photos Inside!

*May not be suitable for work. *

Posted by Ellen at 01:59 PM eMail this entry!
July 09, 2003
Cat Forum

A place to go to discuss cats!

Thanks to Pam! You get the Kitty No-Prize! =^^=

Posted by Ellen at 11:00 AM eMail this entry!
July 08, 2003
Fish Sniffing Cat

Jeff brings us this story.

MOSCOW (Reuters) - Move over bomb-sniffing dogs, here comes Rusik, the fish-sniffing cat!

No-Prize to Jeff!

Posted by Ellen at 04:35 PM eMail this entry!
July 04, 2003
Winged Cats

Olivia and her Dad bring us winged cats.

Don't be fooled by winged cats! They are out there! Next time you attack your cat's matted coat, be sure to check and make sure you are not raking out it's wings. *

*It's a JOKE people!

Posted by Ellen at 12:21 PM eMail this entry!
July 02, 2003
No Place Like Home for Cat After 33 Trips

Jeff brings us another cat story.

Exerpt: KEY WEST, Iowa (AP) - Rusty the cat just can't seem to forget where he came from.

In the past two years, he's navigated more than 3 miles of hills and busy streets to visit the old neighborhood - 33 times.

When the Beidler family moved to Key West from Dubuque, they kept Rusty inside to help him adjust to his new digs. They thought the long-haired feline would love their ranch house in this northeast Iowa town.

Posted by Ellen at 04:50 PM eMail this entry!
July 01, 2003
More dead cats found in Denver area

DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- Four more dead cats have been found in the Denver area, heightening fear among pet owners that a serial cat killer is in their midst.

You would think by now people would be keeping their cats inside by now.

See entire article here.

Thanks to Jeff- You get the No-Prize for this article.

Posted by Ellen at 01:52 PM eMail this entry!
June 30, 2003
Cat-Proofing Your Computer

Joshua over at Blue Lens brings us this cool gadget thats designed to prevent naughty cats from typing on your computer .

Check out the FAQ for more information.

Posted by Ellen at 08:30 AM eMail this entry!
June 17, 2003
Shaved Pussy

Goblin got a new hair-do today. I noticed my little black fuzzy cat had a few mats under the armpit and her 'stump'(she has 3 legs) area. Goblin hates to be brushed out.

So Goblin went into work with me today and got shaved!

Scott thinks she looks like a naked mole-rat with leg warmers and a hood.

Before:

After:

P.S. Yes, the eyes look funny. Photoshop isn't anywhere near as easy to use as they say it is.

Posted by Ellen at 06:25 PM eMail this entry!
June 16, 2003
Kittens: A Hardware Review

For those of you in the market, here's one person's review of a new bit of hardware they've recently acquired... a "kitten." Also entertaining for those of you who's cute little kitten has recently been stolen and replaced with a big dumb cat. WARNING: People with low "cuteness" thresholds or a tendency to both giggle and cry at the same time when viewing baby cats (i.e. Ellen) should consider this site Not Safe for Work!

Also note the conclusion that while kittens > videocards, videocards > babies.

Via a shareware life.

Posted by scott at 10:21 AM eMail this entry!
June 13, 2003
Magrat Update

Mags bloodwork is normal except for a bit of anemia. Or rather since it was such a smashing blood sample (I drew it), it could be lab error.

So all I have is a cat with kidney stones. Oh yeah, and diarrhea now from the stress of being at the cat hospital all day and having to start on some new food.

I have come to the conclusion that I was never destined to have a healthy pet. That would be too easy for me. It seems that I do well with the sick ones.

Posted by Ellen at 05:21 PM eMail this entry!
June 12, 2003
Flash Cats

What my cats do when we are not home .

Warning: this may make you ill, or cause some sort of seizure. I know I twitched for a bit.

Posted by Ellen at 08:19 PM eMail this entry!
Magrat

For some reason the past 2 weeks Magrat has taken it upon herself to not use the potty box. Just the cat poop part, not the pee (thank god). It is much easier to clean up cat crap than cat urine.

We 'thought' we were not cleaning the cat boxes enough (as if 2x's per day is not good enough for them) or she did not like the litter.

I finally had enough (obviously this is not behavioral) and took the cat into work today. Magrat is not the most compliant cat at the clinic, thats why she does not go yearly. Of course, I can Never have a healthy pet.

Magrat has kidney calcification and a kidney stone passing through her ureter on it's way out.

Mags is not feeling well.

So now my poor BCOD (black cat of death) is on pain medication, subcutaneous fluids for a week and a prescription food.

We find out tomorrow what her bloodwork looks like. I'll keep you posted.

Posted by Ellen at 07:56 PM eMail this entry!
May 28, 2003
Cuteness Alert!

Skippy, our favorite bush kangaroo gets a cut-n-cuddly no-prize for bringing us the Republic of Seabrook's latest "baby" pictures. Warning: if pictures of obscenely cute kittens would cause your teeth to turn to sugar, do not click this link!

Posted by scott at 09:30 AM eMail this entry!
May 25, 2003
Meow TV

Set your TIVO's and VCR's! Cat TV is finally here!

Thanks to the company that makes Meow Mix, who decided cats need their own TV show. Filled with squirrel, fish and birdie clips, its guarenteed to keep your cat entertained for a good 1/2 hour.

*Yeah ok... I will admit Meow Mix is not the best food in the entire world to feed your cat. Our cat, Magrat ate the stuff for 1.5 years while Scott and I lived in downtown Arlington, VA eating off a cardboard box at night. Mags thought the food was quite yummy. We have only been able to upgrade her to Friskies Dental Diet since then. Anything else, she looks at you as if you lost your mind. *

Starting May 30th at 7:30 P.M. on the Oxygen Network.

Posted by Ellen at 09:09 AM eMail this entry!
May 16, 2003
Utah Court: Cat <> Dog

This report on a Utah court decision in which cats are in fact declared not to be dogs starts out funny enough just from the subject matter. However, about 2/3rds down the guy decides to be Dave Barry and the whole thing kind of jumps the rails.

Posted by scott at 03:55 PM eMail this entry!
May 15, 2003
Start Them Young

This is our house. Lots of beer, and of course, cats.

Posted by Ellen at 07:50 PM eMail this entry!
May 13, 2003
See! I Told You They Were Evil!

There's cat burglars, and then there's cat burglars:

This petite and friendly female doesn't look like the stealing type. But this feline tabby has a shoe fetish rivalled by few others.

Guaranteed Ellen will go awwwww when she sees this. Ours aren't allowed outside, but if they were I know we'd end up with mountains of socks and the occasional sadly murdered roll of toilet paper. Criminals...

Posted by scott at 08:17 AM eMail this entry!
May 10, 2003
Cuteness Alert!!

Check out some really cute kitten pictures from Diva Divine's album.

Thanks to Skippy The Bush Kangaroo! You get the sticky sweet kitten No-prize!

Posted by Ellen at 08:00 AM eMail this entry!
May 06, 2003
Ellen's Fantasy

If we weren't about to have a kid, I know without a doubt this would happen:

Black stray cat Tinker got all the cream when an elderly widow left him his own detached house in London and a trust fund to keep him comfortable.

Note I don't mention whether or not I'd still be around. I'm not sure it'd matter!

Posted by scott at 10:50 AM eMail this entry!
April 30, 2003
Ajax Update

For all of you who have been following the saga of Ajax, the Emergency Back-Up Cat, we have finally got an answer to his problem.

His liver enzymes are back to normal due to a neat product called Denosyl (aka SAM-E). He does not like to take this pill cause it needs to be given on an empty stomach. Therefore NO baby food with this pill.

He is also currently on some pain medication called Buprinex since he seems to be in some sort of discomfort. He also must take metronidazole (anitbiotic and anti-inflammatory) daily.

After some bloodwork and running some special diagnostic tests(that got sent to Texas. PLI,TLI, Cobalamine and Folate), our shitty(no really!) white cat has IBD (irritable bowel disease). The blood work shows him to have a folate deficiency. AH-HA!! now we know why this cat has been taking a shit on my carpet! It only took us nearly a year to figure this out (A neat plus to working in a cats-only hospital. You get to learn all the funky diagnostics for them).

Hopefully we can finally get this problem under control.

Posted by Ellen at 08:43 PM eMail this entry!
A Cat and a Balloon

I would of fallen for this joke.

Of course, Scott would be sitting in the car next to me, as he usually is, going " It's just a joke!"

Radio DJ's can be stupid.

Posted by Ellen at 05:50 AM eMail this entry!
April 24, 2003
No Dogs Allowed (that Goes for Birds)

Other than the special walkways and doors, I'm not sure why this story about a tokyo developer's plans for a 'cats-only' apartment complex is news. There are tons of places that only allow cats in this city alone. Strange...

Posted by scott at 08:12 AM eMail this entry!
April 13, 2003
Sleepy Kitty Song

A cute link.

Posted by Ellen at 04:18 PM eMail this entry!
April 08, 2003
Viking Cats, Part 2

Remember those cute viking cats? They are back with another song !

Enjoy!

Posted by Ellen at 06:56 PM eMail this entry!
Cat Declawing Banned In West Hollywood

It's about damn time that a city took action and made declawing a banned procedure.

Thanks to Jeff! You get a kitty no-prize!

Declawing should be a last resort procedure, not a routine one. I personally worked in a very well known animal shelter/hospital in NW DC and 60% of the cats given up were already declawed! All were given up due to secondary behavioral issues from the declaw.

Plus, would you cut the hands of your kid for drawing on the wall with a permanant marker? A cat is not a kid I know, but a cat is also a family member and you should consider it a privilage to share your life with it. If you can't think that way, I suggest you get an ant farm.

Posted by Ellen at 06:43 PM eMail this entry!
March 31, 2003
Ah, Those Quirky Japanese

Now we have Japanese cat hats. Note: Site is in Japanese, and may not show up properly at all depending on what font set you have installed. However, the pictures are cute.

Posted by scott at 09:05 AM eMail this entry!
March 30, 2003
March 27, 2003
Happy Birthday Coconut!!

Today is Coconut's birthday! Hooooraaayy for Coconut!

Coconut is my first kitten that I woke up after a C-section on her mom at the Washington Animal Rescue League 6 years ago!

Coconut was toted around in a leather back pack for 6 months to and from work on the metro. She has been to the movies, out to resturants, an ice skating event and even the National Cathedral.

So everyone wish my Buddah Baby a Happy Birthday!

Posted by Ellen at 06:16 PM eMail this entry!
March 26, 2003
Cat Quotes

"A dog is a prose, a cat is a poem."
-- Jean Burden

"One small cat changes coming home to an empty house to coming home."
--Pam Brown

A cat can purr its way out of anything.
-- Donna McCrohan

"As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human mind."
--Cleveland Amory

This one is for Scott:

"I put down my book, The Meaning of Zen, and see the cat smiling into her fur as she delicately combs it with her rough pink tongue. Cat, I would lend you this book to study, but it appears you have already read it. She looks up and gives me her full gaze. Don't be ridiculous, she purrs, I wrote it.
-- from "Miao" by Dilys Laing

Posted by Ellen at 09:28 PM eMail this entry!
March 25, 2003
Cat Metal!

More crazy cat music!

Posted by Ellen at 07:29 PM eMail this entry!
Playin with Pussy

Scott thinks this kitty is being rather naughty. I told him, kitty is 'cleaning' himself. He doesn't belive me.

Posted by Ellen at 06:14 PM eMail this entry!
Cat Fishing

Ok, you have to check this picture out that Scott sent me.

How cute is that?

Posted by Ellen at 06:05 PM eMail this entry!
March 23, 2003
Smart Cat, Stupid Owner

Yeah, when you're pet's smarter than you are, it's probably time to get a rock

Posted by scott at 04:37 PM eMail this entry!
March 20, 2003
Cat + Loud Noise =

It's not nice to scare the kitty. Not to worry, cat's fine. A little accordion-ed, but fine. Why do I know? One of our bunch does the same sort of thing about once a month, and none of them are even scratched. Their heads are only used to keep their noses from falling off.

Ellen was outraged of course, but she was laughing anyway.

Posted by scott at 11:02 AM eMail this entry!
March 18, 2003
A "Gone Wild" Video Ellen will Want

See wild interspecies love fests!

See sexy kitties drunk off their asses!

Satisfy your cat fancy!

All this and more can be found at Kitties Gone Wild!!!

Posted by scott at 11:16 AM eMail this entry!
March 17, 2003
When Onesies Attack!

One of the things always put forward about why humans like cats is that they're roughly the same size as a human baby (and all this time I thought it was because they yakked in such interesting and amusing places). Well, turns out that's probably true, as was involuntarily demonstrated by Cassie, Damion & Kris's cat. We'd given them a "onesie" to use as a pattern and base for their "make your toes curl" going home outfit. Tiny little outfit + small unsuspecting cat leads us to:

When Onesies Attack!


Must... maintain... dignity...

For this, impudent human, I will widdle on your Game Cube

Even in pink, the mind control works. Treats may cause me to be merciful to you.

Notice to all feline comrades: This human is dangerous to dignity when bored!

Some strange people who crashed a party awhile ago
 

Posted by scott at 09:29 AM eMail this entry!
March 15, 2003
The Cat and the Fish

Not safe for work due to the porn pop up ads!

This is a cute video of a cat and his fish.

Posted by Ellen at 12:05 PM eMail this entry!
March 12, 2003
And the Cat Goes... Whirl Whirl Whirl?

Why you should never hang sh*t off your ceiling fan

NOTE: It's fake Ellen. Fake fake fake. We're talking bonsai kitten fake. CGI is a wonderful thing. Calm down, watch, and laugh.

Via linkswarm.

Posted by scott at 12:04 PM eMail this entry!
March 09, 2003
How to Get a Pet Passport

This is some reallly cool information.

Get your pet passport! Travel the world with Fluffy!

Posted by Ellen at 07:54 AM eMail this entry!
Pet Passport Information

Apparently Great Britian is freaking out again about the pet passports just adopted to make moving pets to their country easier.

Now they are freaking out over tick- born disease.

The thing is this, in order for the disease to potentially spread, you have to bring the tick with you. By the time the animal is infected, the parasite is dead, or dropped off the animal. An EASY way to prevent this problem is to make sure the animal is on some sort of flea/tick control like Frontline- Top Spot several months before and after the pet moves to the UK.

The last cat I had move to the UK, was an old clinic cat named Prissy (new name- Charlotte) with a client. The cat had severe liver disease, but was still allowed in as long as she went through the quarantine procedure. The cat did very well. The one thing that the UK is great about is the quarantine faciltities. Needless to say, Charlotte lived one year after her transfer to the UK, which is more than all of us thought she would do.

Posted by Ellen at 07:52 AM eMail this entry!
March 08, 2003
Football Kitty

One very cute pix of a cat in a football helmet!

Posted by Ellen at 08:37 PM eMail this entry!
March 03, 2003
Explosive Cats

Scott and I walked into the house today to 2 cats that'd detonated like a pair of wet adobe hand grenades.

Wet adobe that you have to soak with club soda first to get it up out of the carpet and then carpet shampoo to clean the rest of it out. Think dried brown asphalt. At the last place we lived, we had a carpet cleaning machine we used so much we killed the thing. Because you see when it isn't coming out one end, it comes out the other. Scott says he used to think cats were neat elegant things that were more like self-propelled china than actual animals. Now he knows they're all just an infection away from hiccuping once, giving you a cross-eyed look, and then blasting partially digested cat food in all directions.

Now Teddy is sick. I was wondering why he hasn't been wanting his pills for the past 2 days. I had to sit on him and shove them down his throat. Now I know he's sick too. He has the dreaded poopie tail syndrome just like Ajax.

2 cats with diarrhea that LOOK like they don't feel well. 2 cats with heart disease and diarrhea that obviously are a bit dehydrated and I can't give too much subcutaneous fluids to in case it overloads their hearts.

BOTH are going back to work tomorrow for more diagnostics, meds, and some fluid therapy.

Keep your fingers crossed for my cats!

Posted by Ellen at 08:51 PM eMail this entry!
March 02, 2003
Ajax

Ajax has some weird infection. Thursday night we come home from work and we have a white cat that is *covered- and I mean covered* in what seems to be mud, but it's not. We also find several cat cookies that have been tossed in various spots in the house.

After a bath with rinse and repeats with some shampoo, we thought all was well. Or so we thought.

Friday morning, no Ajax for breakfast. Shit, my cat is dead in the house somewhere I am thinking. No, he is hiding under the bed. He looks sick, and is acting sick. Great. My nice cat is ill. (I had this ugly feeling that one of them would fall apart before the baby came along)

So I take him to work with me and do the routine diagnostics for vomiting and diarrhea in cats, and start with some strong meds(everyone at the cat hospital thought Ajax was very handsome and sweet) to cool his digestive tract off along with some electrolyte replacement.

I get the bloodwork back on saturday and my sweet cat has very high liver enzymes, along with an elevated white cell count. Shit. Why the white cat!?

My poor kitty is on Denosyl (aka- SAM-E), metronidazole, Baytril and atenolol. I have to recheck his bloodwork in 2 weeks to make sure everythingis working well. If he does not eat, he gets a stomach tube.

So every kitty lover out there, say a prayer for my sweet white boy!

Posted by Ellen at 07:49 PM eMail this entry!
February 27, 2003
Cat Hymns

Kris over at Demon Wurks sent me this today. It's a site dedicated to hymns. you can sing to your cat! How cute!!!

"Just in case you're having a mental block on what to sing to the kitties!!"-Kris

Now Scott will tell you all that I can sing the most annoying songs to the cats anytime day or night. From the Buddah-belly song all the way to Ajax's poofy tail song we sing before work. Of course Scott is in the backround protesting the entire time. "Ellllleeeennn!!! STOOOOPPPP!!! It's sooo annyoying!"

Hey, the cats like it!

Posted by Ellen at 06:56 PM eMail this entry!
February 25, 2003
Pets As Labor Companions

Forget inviting people into share in your child's birth! Now you can invite your cat!

How cool is that! What a better way to feel comfortable then to have your pet by your side? If they can lower your blood pressure, imagine what they can do in times of excruciating (so I am told) pain?

If anyone tells me thats nasty and disgusting and their pets are dirty, are not worthy of the company of a cat! Oh yeah...you are also a waste of my time too. :P *ttwpwwwppptttt*

Posted by Ellen at 07:18 PM eMail this entry!
Faaaabbbulous!

A tail of a GAY! Ocicat.

AMCGLTD gives this site a poofy whisker award!

Posted by Ellen at 07:08 PM eMail this entry!
February 24, 2003
FAT CAT!

This kitty tops the scales at 50 pounds!

And Scott says my Coconut (aka: Buddah Belly) is fat! HA!!

Yeah, ok, don't get me started on WHY the kitty needs to lose weight. I just can't think of work tonight. (so many sick kitties, so MANY ungrateful people that own them)

Posted by Ellen at 07:42 PM eMail this entry!
February 22, 2003
Cat! Pride! Cat! Pride! Cat! Pride!

Is probably what they're chanting at this march in Rome, home of the famous "sacred strays" who haunt the excavated ruins in the center of town.

Posted by scott at 01:11 PM eMail this entry!
February 20, 2003
Not Quite My Wife in 40 Years

Woman found living with 75 cats in her house, other ex-cats living in the freezer. Yet another consumer wobbling off their meds.

The difference in Ellen's case will be she'll probably have 80 cats and they'll all be completely healthy (but they'll all probably have something serious and incurable wrong with them). It'll be me that's dead.

Posted by scott at 11:23 AM eMail this entry!
February 09, 2003
Cat Survives Stabbing

Complete with an X-ray to look at!

Posted by Ellen at 06:35 PM eMail this entry!
Yup, Ellen Likes it Too

Seems cheetahs like Calvin Klein too. Next they'll be wanting Gucci bags.

Posted by scott at 01:14 PM eMail this entry!
February 07, 2003
Pilling Your Cat

It's not really that hard !

Posted by Ellen at 09:02 AM eMail this entry!
February 04, 2003
Ajax Needs This

My Ajax thinks using the carpet next to the garage door is much better than the potty box at times.

So I think he needs this. If all else fails, I think I'm going to staple his ass shut.

Posted by Ellen at 07:20 PM eMail this entry!
February 02, 2003
A Long Walk

A cute article on Fila the Cat who walked 60 miles to go home.

Posted by Ellen at 10:33 AM eMail this entry!
January 31, 2003
More COOL Cat Stuff!

Another good reason to chuck the dog to the curb and get yourself a cat.

Dog have masters, cats have servants.

Posted by Ellen at 09:07 PM eMail this entry!
Kitty Steals Everything!

A cute story about a kleptomaniac cat.

Posted by Ellen at 07:54 PM eMail this entry!
January 28, 2003
More Cat Noises

Thanks to Pam at Fierce Fade-Away we got some more cat sounds for you.

Posted by scott at 08:07 PM eMail this entry!
More Singing Kittens

The Lightsabre song.

It's pretty intense!

Posted by scott at 07:18 PM eMail this entry!
January 27, 2003
Cyborg Cats

Check out what science can do now-a-days to replace lost limbs to your feline friend.

Not only just limbs, but eyes and endoskeletons!

It's a joke people

Posted by Ellen at 06:42 PM eMail this entry!
Cats In Space!

Well not since the Great Yorkshire Terrier War of 96. (Read The Dragon Reports to find out more!)

Here is an example of one of the space suits modeled by Elliot the Astro Cat

Posted by Ellen at 06:34 PM eMail this entry!
January 26, 2003
Sound Effects for Your Cat

My cats did not really respond to this.

But I can imitate those stupid doves pretty well and make them all go look out the window!

Posted by Ellen at 06:46 PM eMail this entry!
January 22, 2003
Cloned Cat News

Turns out cloned cats aren't just carbon copies. Want another cat? Head on down to the shelter, there's dozens of great ones just waiting for you. Donate the difference to the humane society of your choice.

Posted by scott at 09:53 AM eMail this entry!
January 19, 2003
Church for Pets

It's just not for people anymore.

The National Cathedral down here has the 'blessing of animals' once a year. I never make it. Ted would literally have a heart attack. What you can do is fill out a prayer slip and then the Cathedral writes back to you and tells you when mass was said in the honor of whoever.

Yeah you know me, Ted got a prayer slip filled out. Ajax too. Along with all the other unloved and unwated pets out there.

Posted by Ellen at 02:48 PM eMail this entry!
January 16, 2003
Kitty Rap

This is really cute. Thanks to Elizabeth for sending me the Kitty Rap.

Kitty No- Prize to you!

Posted by Ellen at 04:14 PM eMail this entry!
January 15, 2003
Moogi

One of the hardest things about my job is helping to make the decision when to end a life. It's the one thing I hate about my job the most. Cats are supposed to just go to sleep and not wake up one day. Cats are not supposed to get cancer or heart disease or high blood pressure. But they do. When a disease has managed to overcome them, and their small body does not want to make the decision to leave their human, sometimes you need to point them in the right direction.

I had to assist in a home euthanasia today on a cat named Moogi. Moogi was a short haired kitty that looked very much like my Coconut. Moogi, with a big apple head and a short stocky body, had cancer that wrapped around his colon and urethra, preventing him from performing the basic functions required for life. Surgery couldn't fix this, neither could radiation or chemo. The cancer was highly malignant and the oncologist said it would only return in time. So his humans decided that he should just be comfortable until he said it was time for him to go. Today, a cold, windy, clear day in January, and Moogi has not urinated for almost 2 days. It's time.

We arrive at the house, a very nice house. A house any cat would love to live in. His humans had the fireplace going for him, because he loves to lay on his favorite armchair and relax by the fire. We're talking a full-blown wood burning fireplace, not one of those fake gas things. It crackles, and the smell of hickory fills the room.

Of course, they are already in tears about their cat... how could they not? They were waiting for us to arrive to take their cat from them. Moogi is in his chair cleaning his leg, as if nothing in the world was wrong. He looks up at us as if to say "Hello! I did not know we were having company?" I start to tear up right then and there. He has no idea what is going to happen.

We draw up some sedation for him so he will sleep for the entire procedure. I tell his humans that they can go ahead and pick him up and love on him and hold him for as long as they need to. They can let us know when they are ready to let him go. A slight stick, which he didn't even notice, and it's only a matter of moments when Moogi is in his anesthetic sleep.

Both of his humans sit on the couch with him as he slumbers peacefully, his dad holding him like a baby and telling him how sorry he was there was nothing they could do to fix him.

It's over in a matter of seconds when the second and last injection is given I.V. and he relaxes in their arms and takes his last sigh. A tiny, trusting soul, peacefully transformed into a kind of stuffed animal, a container to be respectfully taken care of, now that the soul has moved on to better things.

Moogi had a peaceful exit, a good death. Moogi got to move on at home, in a safe, comfortable place, with the people that loved him surrounding him, touching him, holding him.

As we leave, I tell the doctor I work with that I'm sick of putting on my black feathered wings, holding small kitty paws to direct them where to stand in line for reincarnation.

But then again, I had the honor to share the last few moments of a cat's life.

Posted by Ellen at 07:34 PM eMail this entry!
January 12, 2003
Cat Enema

One person's story on how he had to give his cat an enema.

It's funnier than you think it could be. ;)

Posted by Ellen at 12:57 PM eMail this entry!
Feline Future

Here is an interesting site on people who *finally* admit that domestic cats are true carnivors and need to eat like them.

One thing that raises our eyebrows is that there is a site like this out there. Most people are bent on making their cats vegetarians, which is an absurd idea anyway.

So check it out. You can even get recipies for making your own cat food. Me? I like to pop the top of can of cat food for my bunch. I'm too nervous with salmonella and other funky kitchen goblins if I made my own cat food.

Posted by Ellen at 12:41 PM eMail this entry!
January 09, 2003
Crazy Billy

Well, now it would seem someone's protecting their cats from abduction. Ellen owes me $5 if she crys at the picture on the bottom.

Posted by scott at 11:09 AM eMail this entry!
January 08, 2003
More Singing Cats!

Can't get enough of those singing cats. Let alone them doing a Destiny's Child parody.

Posted by Ellen at 02:32 PM eMail this entry!
December 24, 2002
A Dragon Christmas

Fourth in an ongoing saga of the P.U.S.S. Confused? If you haven't already, be sure to read Dragon Reports 1279, 1280, and the Dignity Ladder -- Ed.

Magrat: "I have gathered you all here today, comrades, to explain this bizarre ceremony the hyoomans call... 'chah-reest-mess'".

Goblin: "I thought they called it 'x-mouse'."

Ajax: "Mouse? Where's a mouse? Mice are fun."

Coconut: [slap!] "Mice are yucky."

Teddy: "I thought they called it kristmas? Anyway, seems to be more like 'dammitteddygetoffthetree' day to me."

Magrat: "Be quiet comrades! We must maintain proper discipline as is proper of true party members! Now, as I was saying, this is a very strange ceremony hyoomans engage in, once per year. They first remove a large not-quite-tree, not-quite-litterbox, from a box more properly used to dispose of bourgeois canine spies. "

Teddy: "Like that floppy dog across the street!"

Magrat: "Yes, comrade, all in good time. They wrap this treething in lights in an obvious and incompetent plot to ruin our superior night vision. Then they 'decorate' the treething with superior cat toys. Why do we know they are superior cat toys?"

Ajax: "Where do the mice go?"

Goblin: "Dammit! Go rub against more paint! I know comrade... because they are breakable. Just two days ago I managed to shatter a particularly shiny glass ball."

Magrat: "Yes! And of course, these hyoomans, being clever and evil, punish us for taking advantage of such an amazing and rare collection of baubles! The nerve!"

Coconut: "But why do they insist on stacking boxes underneath the treething?"

Ajax: "I like peeing on the boxes!"

Coconut: [smack!] "Looser! Shut up!"

Magrat: "Most puzzling is the hyoo-man tendency to stack boxes underneath the treething. Not all hyoo-mans particpate in this practice. Dragon XfzzbAn (Edloe) reports that slaves 8912 ("Laurence") and 9014 ("Gina") do not even erect a treething, let alone stack boxes. The only information XfzzbAn could provide to explain this unusual exception was that slaves 8912 ("Laurence") and 9014 ("Gina") are 'jyoo-hiss'. She reports they instead make feeble attempts to ignite her fur by lighting 'candlz'".

Ajax (in a whispered voice): "oooh... candlz... those are bad! I once lost all my whiskers to a candl... wow, that was a story! It was just before the war--"

Coconut: "But what about the boxes?"

Magrat: "After consulting with Party Headquarters of the Proletariat's United Society of Socialists (P.U.S.S.), it has been determined that the hyoo-mans's propensity for placing boring non-cat involved items in boxes and covering them in colorful, easy-to-tear coverings and fun-to-play-with ribbons is simply another form of offering to our increasingly powerful leadership of this slave race. Therefore it is recommended that we make every effort to enjoy these offerings at every opportunity by removing the coverings and ribbons, allowing the hyoo-mans the privilege of re-covering the offerings and presenting them again."

Ajax: "WowribbionsaresocoolIreallyliketobatthemaroundbuttheysticktomyfeetIdon'tlikethatverymuchbutowowtheyarefunlookthere'saribbon canIgo--"

Coconut: [smack!] "Go eat some more paint chips!"

Magrat: "But what none of the hyoo-mans understand is that the P.U.S.S. long ago took over this 'chah-reest-mess' holiday."

Goblin: "Yes! I read about this in GlamourP.U.S.S"

Coconut: "How decadent!"

Goblin: "Well, I have to keep up with these things."

Teddy: "Yes! It's true! We went over this in Tiger training. Shortly after the battle of Beagle Hill several party members were able to infiltrate the 'north pole', inserting powerful mind control implants into the brain of the creature the hyoo-mans call 'Zanta-Claws'."

Magrat: "You are correct, comrade. Now that we have attained control over this 'holly-day', we will be able to more easily spread our mind control devices across the world. Why, only a few days ago a specially planted 'orne-a-mint' allowed mouser xPlkah (Crash) to easily infiltrate and re-inforce an outlying party cell."

Ajax: "I like ribbons. They're shinyandplayfulandIreallylikethemexceptforthesticky--"

Coconut: [smack!] "Will. You. Shut. UP!"

Teddy: "Shhhh! Leave him alone! He's a veteran you know"

Coconut: "Oh. My. God. Just because some old fart vaporizes a few hairy rat-sized canine 'yorkies' in some ancient 'war' I'm supposed to--"

Magrat: "COMRADES! To put it simply, this so-called 'char-reest-mass', has now become another powerful tool in the P.U.S.S's arsenal in our ongoing efforts to maximize kibble, destroy the bourgeois canines, and ensure our supply of fuzzy mice forever! In fact, I have only just now learned that our feline scientists have created a powerful new mind control device scheduled to be deployed this very char-rist-mass night. By opening their presents tomorrow, the hyoo-mans will be placed even further under our control!"

Goblin: "But what about the Jyoo-hiss people?"

Magrat: "Who do you think makes the candles?"

Posted by Ellen at 08:51 PM eMail this entry!
When White Cats Turn Blue

I decided that I wanted my downstairs room to be blue instead of red. So how do I spend Christmas Eve? Painting!

I was not counting on for a certain white cat to help.

Apparently, at some point, the white cat decided to rub up against the wall. Not just a nudge, not just a bunt, but a full-blown side rub. Now his left side is blue. We're talking his shoulders, his thigh/butt area and his tail. Nice and blue.

I still have half a room to go. Ran out of paint. Perhaps the cat will rub his right side against the wall so he'lll match his left?

Posted by Ellen at 06:58 PM eMail this entry!
X-Mas Cats

Ok, it's Christmas Eve, and I'm not allowed to open any gifts yet. Not even ONE!

So what do I do? I head out to Petco or Petsmart and gather loot for the cats. I head straight for the 10% off section because my cats WILL loose toy mice right away. They hoard them under the fridge or stove, or sometimes in Scott's sneakers.

I bought them not just any kind of mouse today. I bought *sparkly* mice. Not just any sparkly mice either. Apparently these mice are made with a hard wad of cat-nip wrapped in sparkly seisal rope. All I can say is that all of them were infatuated with these mice for 10 minutes, then the magic was over.

What a fabulous 10 minutes though! All of them had the crazies, and I'm sure most of the mice are under the fridge or stove.

One of the other things about Christmas is that my mom used to tell me on Christmas eve animals could talk. Scott does not believe it, but it's one Christmas story I do think about every year.

He thinks I'm crazy anyway. Especially if I can hold a complete conversation with 5 different cats at once.

Posted by Ellen at 11:52 AM eMail this entry!
December 19, 2002
Blaaarrffff!!!!!

Finally! I have found a site dedicated to cat puke!

How cool is that!?

Posted by Ellen at 06:28 PM eMail this entry!
The Conspiracy Widens

Lynn got herself adopted by another cat. Maybe this will finally be enough to kick loose a dragon report...

Posted by scott at 04:06 PM eMail this entry!
December 15, 2002
Drivin' Home

Our favorite Goddess brings us this cool bank shot of a cat (of course!) flash animation. I actually like the tune too... bluesy, not to sappy.

Could Joanie be a crazy-cat-lady in hiding?

Posted by scott at 06:52 PM eMail this entry!
December 09, 2002
Happy Birthday Ted E. Bear!!!!

Teddy is 3 today. My special little guy!!!! :)

I cannot believe we have made it this far with this kitty. He is very special. He takes medication willingly, and sees his cardiologist 2x's per year and with the slightest problem, he goes to work with me for bloodwork and the full workup! Hopefully I'll get several more years out of him. I told him he has to live till he is 20. So far there is no sign of slowing down.

Happy Birthday Mr. Ssiippss!!!!!!!

-Love Mommy Cat

Posted by Ellen at 05:33 PM eMail this entry!
December 08, 2002
Socks the Cat to Lead X-Mas Parade!

Socks the cat is going to be in Little Rock, Arkansas this holiday to lead the annual X-Mas parade.

He is still entrusted to Betty Currie, Clinton's secretary. She will be making the trip with him.

Mama!! You need to go see Socks in the parade!!! :)

Posted by Ellen at 08:00 AM eMail this entry!
December 06, 2002
Just What I Needed... More Cats

Pat brings us this story (free reg, blah blah) about a new entry in the robotic toys market, this time a cat. At $35, it's only a matter of time before I end up with at least one of them. Thanks Pat.

I think.

No prize! :)

Posted by scott at 08:37 AM eMail this entry!
December 05, 2002
Alien Cats

Can I be abducted by these cats? Puuuhleeeze!!

Posted by Ellen at 06:33 PM eMail this entry!
Training Your Cat, the ATS Way

Lair's take on training a cat to lose weight sounds about right to me. The only thin cats in Ellen's family are either a) victims of strokes that only have about 1/4 of their brain left or b) too busy just staying alive to get fat (Teddy is perpetually 6 seconds from his heart detonating in his chest).

The rest, including "gramma's", are in various stages of fat-tub-o-lard-dom. Maybe we can get Nina to send us some pictures of "jabba", an Edloe-class cat if I've ever seen one.

Posted by Ellen at 11:57 AM eMail this entry!
November 29, 2002
Naughty Cat Update

I spoke to A today to check in on my kitties while we are at my mom's house. A is watching the funky bunch for the week.

Apparently Teddy decided to knock over one of my potted plants (my fault, I put the new cat chair near the plants) and decided that it is so COOL to roll in the dirt!!

She said it was so funny to watch him get all excited when she walked in the house, and run over to the dirt and promptly roll in it!

I can't be mad, it's TED!!! Plus I have taupe carpeting and A knows where the vacuum is.

Posted by Ellen at 04:40 PM eMail this entry!
November 27, 2002
Crispy Critter

Ok, just because I know how you guys can get sometimes, I want to tell you ahead of time everyone turns out OK. Kitten gets nervous, crawls into ductwork, and then into a working furnace. While disassembling said furnace, a repairman found what could've been a deadly leak. Kitten is fine, people are fine, etc. etc. :)

Posted by scott at 10:43 AM eMail this entry!
November 19, 2002
Mean Kitties

Every once in awhile FARK actually runs a funny photoshop contest. This time it's about cats.

Posted by scott at 08:59 AM eMail this entry!
November 18, 2002
Feeny's Funhouse

Found (via ATS) this cute website actually run by a cat.

You guys need to rumble at Ellen some more to get her to put cat pics up.

Posted by scott at 10:15 AM eMail this entry!
November 12, 2002
Here Kitty Kitty.....

When Cougars attack!

Still this story does not tell me weather or not the other cat made it.

No-prize covered in cat hair goes to Mama on the cat category!

Posted by scott at 08:49 PM eMail this entry!
Cat Hats

For the cat wacko in your life, the one who likes to dress up fluffy, I give you Clifford's Cat Hats. Of course you all know who that is in my life.

Posted by scott at 02:19 PM eMail this entry!
November 07, 2002
A Boy and His Kitty

This is both funny and serious at the same time.

Make sure you read the video preview! And pay close attention to the video!

Posted by Ellen at 06:06 PM eMail this entry!
Cat Goes Postal for Real

Ok, before you get all worked up over this, I want you to know ahead of time the kitten is just fine thank you.

We had a similar "oh that's just awful" situation that turned out fine. Someone spotted a crow trying to make off with a 3 week-old kitten. They chased the crow off, took the poor thing to the vet, and Ellen and I nursed him until he was big enough to eat on his own. He got adopted and is now king of the house somewhere.

Sometimes it turns out OK.

Posted by scott at 11:56 AM eMail this entry!
October 27, 2002
Viking Cats!

Viking Cats

Of course, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo comes to the rescue again with a cat clip for me!

If you like Led Zeppelin, you will like this!

Posted by scott at 01:10 PM eMail this entry!
October 25, 2002
Glow in the Dark Kitties

Ellen was totally nonplussed by this, but I just can't help giggling thinking about cat poops so bad they set off an incinerator's radioactivity alarms. I mean, that's some stink!

Ellen says it's actually SOP for some kinds of treatment, but still!

Posted by scott at 10:47 AM eMail this entry!
October 22, 2002
Even Rangers Like Cats

Turn this cat white, or even just a different color of stripes, and you'd have one of our two-cat wrecking crew, Ajax and/or Teddy. Although the best one of all was when I watched Coconut wedge her fat butt into a 4" x 4" christmas box, then crouch and look at us like "I dare you to say anything... dare you!"

Posted by scott at 02:45 PM eMail this entry!
October 21, 2002
Ellen will Owe Me $1 if She Cries

Very silly, very sappy, kinda weird, I give you The Singing Kitten.

Posted by scott at 02:09 PM eMail this entry!
October 18, 2002
Cat Stories

Some happy, some not so happy, Meryl Yourish has now started in on what is obviously one of this site's main concerns, cat stories! Follow the links and you'll find several good ones. If you're new here, or haven't visited the archives, be sure to check out our own cat stories, such as "Kitten Crazies" on the upper-left.

Posted by scott at 11:23 AM eMail this entry!
October 16, 2002
Live Nude Cats!

That's right, you heard it correctly, it's time for...

Kitty Porn!

Posted by scott at 01:48 PM eMail this entry!
October 13, 2002
Masturbation is BAD!!! Mkay?

Don't masturbate!! If you do you will it kill a kitten.

Remember Cliche Kitty??? Ya know...ZZZOOOMMMMM!!!!!

This time Cliche is being chased by the terrible Masturbation Monsters!!(aka-Domo-Kun).

RUN CLICHE!! RUN!!!!!!!!

Posted by Ellen at 04:05 PM eMail this entry!
Ellen will Waste Hours with This One

KITTY FLIPS! These kinds of games always make me insane. Ellen will love it.

Posted by scott at 11:35 AM eMail this entry!
October 11, 2002
What Your Cat Dreams About at Night

Sometimes one of them gets this look, and you know, you know they're thinking... "If I weighed 300 lbs things would change around here for sure" Of course, then they take a header off the cabinets, and you realize what doofuses they are.

Posted by scott at 09:11 AM eMail this entry!
Feline Hitch Hiker

Goblin, our emergency auxillary black cat (NOTE: If Primary Black Cat is Unavailable or Incapacitated, Immediately Remove Emergency Auxillary Black Cat and Pet Vigorously), used to barrel out the front door of our old apartment every chance she got, but at least she didn't hop in a car.

Posted by scott at 08:17 AM eMail this entry!
October 10, 2002
Wacky Cat Widgets

Fark squished it out of existence earlier today, but hopefully by now you'll be able to see all these funny cat devices. Feline emergency ejection packs, etc. :)

Posted by scott at 05:52 PM eMail this entry!
October 08, 2002
Ancient Bast

I'm pretty sure Ellen has seen at least one cat as old as this one, or near to it. Kind of like people, the vast majority keel over well before this age, but the ones who make it that far seem immortal.

Posted by scott at 08:40 AM eMail this entry!
October 02, 2002
Punk Kitties

This was sent to us from Kris and Damion over at Demon Wurkz.

You have to watch the ENTIRE thing!!!!

Posted by Ellen at 05:52 PM eMail this entry!
September 26, 2002
Dragon Report #1280

Greetings from Dragon Axzepztu (hyoo-man name, "Magrat"), providing my regular update on cell 48567 of the Proletariat's United Society of Socialists (P.U.S.S.) Please give my regards to Mouser huKzzf ("Puck") and Tiger blechP'k ("Piper").

First, I must take time out to congratulate Dragon XfzzbAn's ("Edloe's") cell on their successful use of slaves 8912 ("Laurence") and 9014 ("Gina") to co-ordinate party movements via the website "Amish Tech Support". The secretly encoded messages they have manipulated slave 8912 ("Laurence") into placing on the various entries have proven invaluable and should greatly facilitate the destruction of bourgeois canines around the world.

I also wish to give my full support to Dragon XfzzbAn's ("Edloe's") nomination of Mouser Hfracbleh ("Nardo") to Hero of the Feline Union. His efforts at preventing the infiltration of terrorist Lizard fundamentalists into one of our cells are to be commended. His innovative use of their remains to further cement control of slaves 8912 ("Laurence") and 9014 ("Gina") is brilliant and worthy of replication everywhere.

Mouser YrhPLAKz's ("Teddy's") continued attempts at communication with the alien life form in the acid box (the "oscar fish" in the tank filled with "water") are beginning to bear fruit. The alien claims knowledge of machines that create "rays" of both intimidation and mind control. The power of its small fin-mounted device to completely terrify slave 3827 ("Ellen") was extremely impressive. While making arrangements to relocate our cell (see below), I instructed Cat Qb'Lak ("Coconut") to manipulate slave 3827 ("Ellen") into acquiring a much larger acid box. According to the alien, this will greatly facilitate its ability to construct more of these "devices".

The relocation of our cell to a new domicile is progressing nicely. The arrangement will put us in direct observation of several bourgeois canine pods. While the vomitous racket they make ("barking") is very disturbing, my party cell relishes the chance to destroy them. When combined with slave 3827's ("Ellen's") unmatched ability to place party members in unconquered territories, we expect significant inroads to be made in this new area.

I would also like to put forward Tiger wkHarf ("Cassie") as a Dragon candidate and potential party head for whatever cell is moved in to take our place in the domicile we are vacating. The fact she has enslaved two hyoo-mans, 4123 (Damion) and 6702 (Kris) single-handedly speaks very highly of her organizational capabilities.

I must again point out how problematic Cat Tcrapznx ("Ajax") is as a member of our party cell. At this time he is just barely able to assist Tiger TrCHacktZ ("Goblin") on vomit duty. This important task is, as you know, required to ensure the old domicile's usefulness in case an unrecruited feline takes up residence and wishes to join our cause.

While I understand it is a great honor to host a decorated hero of the great Yorkshire Terrier War of '96, one who's image is used as a recruiting poster for our great CosmoCat space combat corps, his complete disregard for Dignity and disgustingly obvious love of the hyoo-man slave race is beginning to cause discipline problems. However, I do understand that such things are simply the result of his war wounds, and so will continue to assist in his recovery.

Finally, we were all greatly saddened on hearing of kitten Azkna's ("Franky's") sudden cycling into the Great Meadow. I regret to inform you that kitten Pftana ("Tar Baby") followed shortly after. They both showed great potential in hyoo-man enslavement. Please forward our petition for their reinstatement to the High Mystic as soon as possible.

I remain your faithful servant. Only through rigid discipline can we maximize kibble, destroy the bourgeois canines, and ensure our supply of fuzzy mice forever!

Dragon Axzepztu (hyoo-man name, "Magrat")

Posted by scott at 02:43 PM eMail this entry!
September 24, 2002
The Magic Of Cat

I'm sorry, but I have to make a full blown comment/story to Scott's whining about my cats. :) I'm sure I will get in trouble for it.

Scott says he will *simply not tolerate* a cat box next to his computer. Oh well, get over it. We have 900 sq. ft. right now and it's shrinking due to the packing of boxes. If you don't know by now, Scott always bitches about my cats. But it's OK to have computer guts all over the house. (that the cats will eventually vomit, shit or piss on it out of spite-my minions please me well)

The magic of being owned by a cat comes with the box, even if it's a colorful splash of stuff you don't want to hear or smell.

Cats vomit on the rug. Hey, it's a present for you. If not, another cat will come along and eat it for you or you will simply step in it and HAVE to clean it up right away.

I should also mention that when Ted nearly shot his skinny little ass out of the box with sharp stream of diarrhea, Scott was holding his nose and crying and carrying on like he usually does. *does the Scott stomp which consists of stamping a foot, and doing this body jerk* He then gets up and sprays air freshener at the box. Does he change it? NO. He calls me. "Ellen!!! Teddy did a stinky in the box!!!!!!"

So we are getting ready to move into a new house. My cats are very stressed out, which is perfectly understandable. Not to Scott. He thinks when they sit down to eat their dinner they should all tuck napkins in their fur and dantily wipe their lips with it when they are done. Cause cats are dainty and elegant. (ever see 5 cats nearly stampede a small human opening a can of cat food? It's like they have NEVER seen food EVER. A most frightening experience done 2x's per day.)

Not mine. They are rude, smelly at times and LOVE to vomit on que. If you have not figured out the Dragon Report, all of thier P.U.S.S. names all consist of their vomit noise. (Goblin being the most creative)

So he bitches about my cats. What happens when there is an actual other human in the house? Then what?

Now don't get me wrong, Scott likes my cats. They love him. He likes to piss Magrat off. She likes to smack him as he walks by. Goblin loves to sit on his shoulder, Coconut loves to sit on his chest (which he will COMPLAIN about, but he is the one who TAUGHT her that when she was a tiny kitten to calm her down. It's her safety zone) Ted just spreads love and a smelly box, while Ajax, is well, Ajax.

Oh yeah, did I mention that when the cats are bad, they are mine. But when we talk of the cats they are ours? Hmmm....

Now don't assume Scott is a jerk for being anti-cat. He is only like that when they shit, piss or vomit or step on stuff they aren't supposed to ..blah ..blah..blah.. the list is endless. But he loves my cats. I know he does. He has no choice, cause he lives with me. :)

Posted by Ellen at 08:44 PM eMail this entry!
An Uncompressed Life

Let me tell you, the nicest, and I mean nicest thing about our new place is I will simply **not** tolerate a catbox being placed next to my computer. There's nothing quite like being inches away from slaying the boss monster on level 25 of the game you've been playing for two weeks, only to have your groove completely derailed by an obscene whoopie cushion noise coming from a box less than a foot from your desk. Oh, and the smell of three dead rats mixed with a bag of old copper pennies is just icing on the cake.

Posted by scott at 08:31 PM eMail this entry!
September 14, 2002
Mean Kitty

Got a mean kitty? These people do!

Submit your mean kitty!

Posted by Ellen at 08:25 PM eMail this entry!
September 13, 2002
Newton

I so want a Newton.

Its a new type of screen saver cat, buts its based off a real kitty. COOL!

OR

You can get some cool ass cat cards off of Action Cat.

My mom called me today and said I needed to look at these sites. She got them from a friend at work.

Posted by Ellen at 08:18 PM eMail this entry!
September 12, 2002
Tar Baby Love

I'm still not feeling myself today. So I'm probably not going to post as much for the next few days as Scott will.

I got Tar Baby's ashes back today. Yes, I am curious so I opened the box. He is a tablespoons worth of ashes. Yes, there are small bones in it; you can tell what they are. At least I have my baby home with me. That's all that matters. Even if I only knew him 8 days. I was him mom, nothing else. I loved him, and he knew it. I think he wanted to die in my arms and not in his basket alone. I am glad I was there for him at the moment when he needed to leave.

Thanks to all who cared enough to look and respond to my loss. I greatly appreciate it.

I got teary-eyed and started to cry when the crematorium dropped his ashes off at the hospital to me. I miss him greatly. Last night I kept thinking I needed to get up and check on him, but there was no basket next to my bed. I also tend to hear things. Like I thought I heard him cry for me several times, and he is not there. Or at least not physically.

Scott says I miss the 'habit' of taking care of a kitten baby. It's just not that. I miss HIM. I miss holding him. I miss kissing his face. I miss waiting on him hand and foot. I miss having him depend on me and knowing that I would wake him up to eat and hold him for as long as he wanted. I miss having him sleep with me.

He was my special little baby. He started out in the wrong body and wanted to try again, Scott says.

It amazes me that people will help out any type of deformity in a human, but when it comes to an animal its different. Neonatal care sucks in veterinary medicine. We are so tuned into spaying/neutering and forget to research and care for the neonates when they do come along.

Again, thanks to all that cared.

Posted by Ellen at 09:22 PM eMail this entry!
September 11, 2002
Poem For Cats

Poem For Cats

And God asked the feline spirit
Are you ready to come home?
Oh, yes, quite so, replied the precious soul
And, as a cat, you know I am most able
To decide anything for myself.

Are you coming then? asked God.
Soon, replied the whiskered angel
But I must come slowly
For my human friends are troubled
For you see, they need me, quite certainly.

But don't they understand? asked God
That you'll never leave them?
That your souls are intertwined. For all eternity?
That nothing is created or destroyed?
It just is....forever and ever and ever.

Eventually they will understand,
Replied the glorious cat
For I will whisper into their hearts
That I am always with them
I just am....forever and ever and ever.

Author Unknown

Posted by Ellen at 03:36 PM eMail this entry!
Welcome at the Rainbow Bridge

This is a different adaption from the origional. I thought it would be appropriate for today. You can go to Pet Loss.com for the origional poem and other sweet support and other inspirational words.

WELCOME AT RAINBOW BRIDGE
(Adapted from the original)
by Alexander Theodore, Bouvier, Fourth Year Resident

On the morning of September 11, 2001, there was an unprecedented amount of activity at the Rainbow Bridge. Decisions had to be made. They had to be made quickly. And, they were.

An issue, not often addressed here, is the fact that many residents really have no loved one for whom to wait. And, the ones who were abused. Who are they to wait for?

We don't talk about that much up here. We share ones as they arrive, happy to do so. But we all know there is nothing like having your very own person who thinks you are the most special kitten in the Heavens.

Last Tuesday morning a request rang out for kittens not waiting for specific persons to volunteer for special assignment.. An eager, curious crowd surged excitedly forward, each kitten wondering what the assignment would be.

They were told by a solemn voice that unexpectedly, all at once, thousands of people died on Earth long before they were ready.

All the kittens, as all kittens do, felt the humans' pain deep in their own hearts. Without hearing more, there was a clamoring among them - "May I have one to comfort?" "I'll take two, I have a big heart." "I have been saving tail-swishes forever."

One after another they came forward begging for assignment.

One cozy-looking fluffy kitten hesitantly asked, "Are there any children coming? I would be very comforting for a child 'cause I'm soft and squishy and I always wanted to be hugged."

Little cats volunteered to do what they do best, cuddle and rub against legs.

Cats who on Earth had never had a kind word or a pat on the head, stepped forward and said, "I will love any human who needs love."

Then all the cats, wherever on Earth they originally came from, rushed to the Rainbow Bridge and stood waiting, overflowing with love to share.

Posted by Ellen at 03:12 PM eMail this entry!
Tar Baby Update

My little Tar baby died at 6:03 am in my arms this morning.

He just did not wake up.

Posted by Ellen at 06:04 AM eMail this entry!
Tar Baby

I have an ugly feeling that today may be Tar Baby's last day. He has been having a very difficult at night remaining comfortable. He has always breathed a bit funny, but last night was very different.

He is still pink, not purple in color. Which tells me he is getting plenty of oxygen. His lungs sound clear, no hear murmur. He does have a slowed peristalsis (slow intestinal motility) this morning. Last night his belly was rumbling so loud you could hear it laying next to him. He slept with me all night. He no longer is interested in food, even though I will still stomach tube him whether he likes it or not to keep him hydrated until work this morning.

He just can't seem to get comfortable. About an hour of fidgiting and propping him into many postitions he will usually chose the most uncomfortable one for me, but perfect for him. Oh well, comes with the job. He can't cry. He has a silent meow now.

Today, I will have him looked at again. Most likely give him fluids under his skin (IV too big for him) and maybe stomach tube him some barium (radiopaque solution) and see if his intestines are still moving and maybe catch a deformity in there.

But, I do think I may have fading kitten syndrome.

The last thing I want to do is put him in Forever Sleep. If it comes to that though, and he is suffering and I can't fix it. Then thats what I will do.

Everything comes in 3's. Tar Baby will be the 3rd if all does not go right.

Cross your fingers for him.

Posted by Ellen at 05:46 AM eMail this entry!
September 10, 2002
Frankie

Unfortunately, Frankie died today. My mom was with him. He was doing great with his new family. He went to work everyday with her and my mom got to see him everyday.

Everyone loved Frankie. He was the computer people's mascot at their work. Everyone saw his picture. Everybody met Frankie. Everybody LOVED Frankie.

Mom called me up and said he did not look so good today. Even though he was still playing, eating, and using his box. My mom got a call from Frankies mom saying she was right he did not look so good. Then Frankie started to seizure today. Nasty seizures that were too much for his little body to handle and at the end of the day, my mom said it did not look like Frankie.

They took him to the vet (who I will write a letter to the NY Board of Veterinary Medicine about, since his bedside manner just plain sucked and had no fucking clue to what was going on ).

My mom made the choice to put Frankie to the Forever Sleep. Mom also took him home, had him wrapped in his favorite blanket and stuffed animal and buried him in the backyard where all of our pets are buried. Mom said I would of wanted it that way. She was right.

I feel awful for Frankie's new family. They are devestated and rightfully so. Though I DO feel WONDERFUL that he had a FAMILY that was willing to LOVE him for his short little life.

I will remember this silly little kitten that used to scream his head off and wake everyone up every 3 hours in my house. I will remember his kisses and how everyone that saw him fell in love with him right away. I will also remember how GOOD it felt that I was able to find him a home, even though it was not for a very long time.

Posted by Ellen at 06:46 PM eMail this entry!
September 09, 2002
Feline Medical Curiosities

Not for the faint of heart. But if you are interestd in seeing what kind of deformities that cats can produce, you can see them here.

Yes, it has pictures. NO, its not gross. Its rather sad.

Posted by Ellen at 08:34 PM eMail this entry!
Er..Houston, we MAY have a More Problems

Tar Baby may have another problem on top of what is already going on.

He may not have any eyes. Yep, you heard me. No see.

Though we are NOT 100% sure on this. His face is rather elongated and we are NOT seeing any small eye bulges from the sockets like you would in a 'normal' kitten. His are sunken.

Yet another challenge. He continues to be a loving kitten, that can't seem to maneuver the right way, nor cry when he is hungry like a normal kitten can. He does this pitiful strained squeak that will wake me up in the middle of the night and gets louder as someone touches him.

I did purchase his $24.00 bottle from Drs Foster-Smith online. I LOVE that magazine. It has the neatest goodies in it. Hopefully I can get him to take a bottle soon. He has gained a decent suck reflex and I allow him to use the other bigger kitten bottle, but he cannot control that one and manages to get more formula on him than IN him. So we continue to tube feed.

I'll keep you posted.

Posted by Ellen at 07:29 PM eMail this entry!
September 08, 2002
Bendy Kitten

Take a look-see. This is what the front arms of Tar Baby looks like. I only hope we can bandage his feet right to get them straight like Bendy.

Bendy Kitten

Posted by Ellen at 09:52 AM eMail this entry!
Tar Baby Udate

Tar Baby gets cuter every day. He is so much smaller than the last kitten. So much smaller that I can close my hand over him and you can't tell I have a kitten in my hand. Still so cute, you can't help but loving him a bit more since he has so many problems.

He finally realized that the stomach tube REALLY REALLY means he will get fed. He gets so excited about the tube that he will try to nurse from it like a bottle. He has such a poor suck reflex that I am tempted to purchase a $20 kitten bottle for him to try out. It's not like any other kitten bottles I have seen. So I may splurge on it for him.

He is also starting to lose his hair on his wrists from all the rubbing moving around in his basket. Next week is xrays on the feet so we can see what is going on.

He is also learned how to roll over on his back to have his chest and belly rubbed. Very cute.

I'll keep you posted.

Posted by Ellen at 09:39 AM eMail this entry!
September 07, 2002
C-Section Anyone?

I got to assist in my first C section on a cat since Coconut was born back at the Washington Animal Rescue League in DC, in 97.

To bring you up to date: we have a client (breeder- yeah yeah...I know, but at least she is a responsible one. All the kittens were already adopted) that her maine coon cat, India was way past due. I'm talking the cat was at day 71. Most cats queen at 58-63 days. So this was pretty late. India is also a rather BIG cat. Most maine coons are.

6 babies are seen on the xrays. Yay! We know how many to account for. Wrong. She has 7 in there. One so very tiny, that did not make it despite dorpram-V (respitory stimulant) Epinephrine and atropine.

Surgery goes great! Couldn't ask for a smoother operation. Cat accepts kittens with no problems, that's another plus.

Most of the kittens though are tough to revive due to the anesthetic. We used a bit of torbugesic for a pre-sedation and some Propoflo for induction. Isoflourane for the inhalent. (this is where the kittens will take longer to wake up. Propoflo is metabolized so fast that its good for cardiac patients if needed. Isoflourane, takes longer even though its not metabolized, but you do have anesthetized babies).

Kittens are a lovely shade of purple when the come out. I should also mention that C-sections on a cat are very messy. One or two incisions are made and the kittens pulled or pushed through either hole. Cats uterus are also shaped like a 'Y'. It has 2 horns to fit more babies.

Kittens anesthetized from a C-section are also a bitch to get to wake up right away. Lots of rubbing involved.

But they are HUGE kittens. They are the size of a 2-3 week old kitten to begin with! So they do well. Like I said earlier, I lost one. One that I did resuscitation for about an hour on it. It was so tiny and reminded me how small Coconut was when she was a baby.

I hope all goes well for India and her 6 babies. It was a lot of work.

Posted by Ellen at 03:43 PM eMail this entry!
September 06, 2002
Kitten Update ala Tar Baby Style

Tar Baby is doing good today. He has finally had a good day.

He managed to sleep 3.5 hours last night without getting up. Probably because he was sleeping with me in bed wedged between my right arm and side. He has to sleep sitting up or at least at a 45 degree angle. Makes the breathing easier.

He has also figured out that the stomach tube means FOOD. It's rather sad to watch though. It's also not as easy as you would think. Kittens do not attain a gag reflex until about 10 days old. Measuring a stomach tube is easy. You measure from the mouth to the last rib. That's how much of the tube should be inserted to the kitten (I use a #3 french red rubber stomach tube). If you feel resistance, you are in the trachea... not a good thing. Want to drown a kitten quickly? Stomach tube it the wrong way.

You want a nice smooth entry. That indicates you are in the right area of the throat. (Why does this sound like I'm talking about sex?) Most kittens will realize it's food and will want to eat right away. Feeding needs to be about every 2-3 hours.

They THINK he may have hydrocephalus (he has a bit of a bulby head). BUT he is on antibiotics and is doing remarkably well.

He is also really starting to respond to my touch. More so than before.

He goes everywhere we do. He went to the liquor store tonight and picked out whiskey sour mix with Scott and he also decided that we should eat Chinese food.

The oscar thinks the kitten would make a rather tasty treat. We say no. Potential hydrocephalus, deformed front limbed, cleft palated kittens DO NOT taste good.

The oscar begs to differ. We will put a brick on the oscar's tank tonight so he can't get out.

Posted by Ellen at 09:08 PM eMail this entry!
Outdoor Cats

This one is for Phoxxe. You made a good point. I should say why I don't like outside cats.

I do not believe in outdoor cats. OR rather I should say, I do not believe in unsupervised outdoor cats (porch, leash, enclosed back yard with the owner *aka-servant* THERE). WHY? Many reasons. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing sweeter than watching a cat bask in the sun enjoying itself or taking a roll in the grass.

Being a Licensed Vet Tech, I have seen too many of the bad things that happen to outdoor cats. I have seen flattened cats (yes, the HBC-hit by car), I have seen *high rise syndrome cats*-fell out of apartment windows and balconies. I have seen cats with FELV, FIV, FIP (all ugly diseases in themselves). I have seen cats with ear mites and frost bite so bad that the externa pinna (flappy part) needed to be removed to nubs.

I have seen cats literally starving to death. I have seen kittens with paneleukopenia that look at you with pitiful eyes and ask you to end their suffering. I have seen cats and kittens with intestinal parasites so bad we had to perform enemas and/or witness them have blood diseases (anemia, babesia, ect.) I have seen cats with fleas so bad that they are totally limp and white as a ghost while you try to bathe them, keep them warm and do a blood transfusion because THEY WILL DIE if you don't. I have seen cats covered in maggots from an injury that went sour.

I have seen cats ripped apart by dogs, and other outside animals (racoons especially LOVE to rip the shit out of a cats face). I have seen cats with rabies. I have witnessed people crying to me that their cat(s) were eaten by a coyote.

I KNOW cats get stolen and used for dog fighting and lab experiments. I have seen the heartbreak of a family walking into the vet's office asking if its OK to place a *missing* flyer on your announcement board. I have seen cats with heartworm disease.

I have worked at animal shelters that cats come in with collars on that have NO tag and get adopted out to new homes. OR worse, they get put to sleep because there are too many cats.

There is not a summer that goes by that I am not lancing abcesses, debriding dead tissue, placing penrose drains, assiting in amputations- all due to cat fights, and people that ignore the injury. Then proceed to be yelled out by an outstanding bill. ( I love my cat! But this bill is outrageous! )

I can keep going, my list is endless. Now do you see why I don't like outdoor cats? If you don't I can keep going.

A small statistic for you. Did you know the average outside cat lifespan is 5 years? The average indoor cat lifespan is 16. Now tell me, which do you prefer?

Update: And you all think I am full of shit when I mentioned cats being fucked with by coyotes. Most of the time, the cat does not win.

Posted by Ellen at 07:39 PM eMail this entry!
September 05, 2002
Kitten Update

Well, kitten officially has become the hospital oddity. They had me put a file of him in my name since I'm his primary care giver and start and actual history with him today. We even had to name him. Sooo..being a black cat and not wanting him to have a 'normal' black cat name, I decided to name him Tar Baby. NO, I'm not racist! I just think Tar would be a neat name for a cat(shadow, midnight ect..are too common), but right now he is a baby so I just tacked that on the end of it. You can think of it any way you want. Kiss my ass, the name is not changing.

According to his exam, heart/lungs normal, eyes-unsure, ears- he has 2 of them, abdomen normal, oral/nasal-cleft palate with skin membrane over the cleft, extremities- fused carpus(wrist), both right and left.

I got a bit adventerous and decided to ask if it was OK to click an xray for a full body shot. Couldn't hurt. Everything inside looks OK. We cant see his arms or legs past the elbows or the knees though on the xray. Too small at this point. My goal next week, if he is still alive, is to use the dental xray machine to take pictures of his feet and wrists. Itty, bitty film meant for alveolar bone and teeth is perfect for small kitten feet.

Remarkably, his skull rads look great. He has a normal brain cavity and eye sockets. Nothing too big or too small. All of his problems, other than his wrists seem to be soft tissue. The cleft palate can be fixed. The wrists right now, not so sure. If they are totally fused with no small carpal bones, then we will not be able to break and refuse his legs the right way. If we can fix it. Hey, it will get done. If not, he will compensate.

I will keep you posted.

Posted by Ellen at 08:24 PM eMail this entry!
September 04, 2002
Kitten Update

My kitten to my discovery today has a partially fused hard palate. I kept wondering why he was so gurgly. It's fused, but not ALL the way. It should not have split in it with a small covering of skin in the middle. This is most likely WHY he cannot get a good suction on a bottle yet.

How did I make this discovery..HMM..let's think. It was crying while I was attempting to get it to potty when I was like, "what the F*&K!??" Yep, when he opened his mouth to scream bloody murder I got a glimpse of the back area of his hard palate.

Still, he eats without any fuss with the stomach tube. He actually gets his meal FASTER and it's nice and warm in his belly right away. This also prevents him from aspirating his meal. Which is every 2 hours. He gets 2.5ml of KMR formula. Twice a day, he gets his amoxicillin. A SMALL amount. I'm talking the normal cat gets 1/4-1 ml twice per day. This little guy gets 0.04ml twice a day. Basically a drop.

I did go to the pharmacy today to buy it some condoms to make it snake socks. Yeah I know it sounds strange, but it's something Scott and I did for Coconut and it worked REALLY well. You take a condom, fill it with water, tie the end and pop it in the microwave till it's warm *'bout 60 seconds*. Then you stick it in a sock, and it's the puurrfect thing for them to lay against. Nice and soft, yet warm.

This kitten also has my favorite work sweater captive. He sleeps on it. Well, most of the night he slept with us. It is not fond of the bakset or knapsack.

His motility is extremly different from most 24 hour old kittens. (he was born 9-3-02) He really chugs away when he gets moving. Our last kitten was not like that at all. His eye sockets are also different. I wonder if there are even eyes under them. His eyes appear to be sunken. Or is it the way his face is elongated. BUT they appear they want to open TOO soon.

Keep ya posted!

Posted by Ellen at 02:33 PM eMail this entry!
September 03, 2002
A Matter of Opinion

I got a new project. YES it's a new kitten. This one I aquired when it was 2 hours old today from the Feline Foundation of Greater Washington. Apparently he was being rejected by mom cat and she would have nothing to do with him.

Well ok, I can see why.
Exam Findings: Deformed front legs. The carpus(wrists) are bent at a slightly odd angle. He has toe nails that are VERY large for a kitten. Kittens normally have small needle like toe nails. He has ones that are like tiger claws. Big and thick. He has 1/4 of a tail that is bent oddly also. His face and head are not the right shape. Kinda like his face is elongated and slightly flattened on the side.

Yeah ok, I KNOW what you are thinking and I should slap the shit out of you for telling me I am not a fool to do it. You all think I need to make this kitten go into the forever sleep. Why? Because you are thinking it's suffering. How do you know? He is eating (with a stomach tube because he refuses the bottle right now and NEEDS to eat) and going to the bathroom. He responds my touch and my smell already. He wants to be held close.

What I am giving this kitten is a chance. You would think differently if it was a human I know you would. Just because it is not human, it does not deserve the chance is the ongoing debate with pets. How DARE you think this way. That tells me that you only think of it as an animal, and not a living, breathing creature that deserves a small chance. To me that makes me see an ugly person, not deserving of a companion pet at all. Because it's not perfect. Not everything is perfect.

Like I said, if it was a human, doctors and friends and family would be all over it to help out and give it a chance. This is what I do. I may only do it with animals, but I do it WELL.

I do not know if the kitten will make it. The first few days are always the hardest.

My cats are fine. Ted is a bit miffed that the basket with a mystery cat is in it again.

I will keep you posted on this kitten. SOON I hope it will want a bottle and not to stomach tube it every 3 hours. Kitten is also on SMALL doses of amoxiclllin to hope that if there is an infection in its swollen wrists and head that we will catch it early. Cats are amazing critters.

Cross your fingers.

Posted by Ellen at 05:39 PM eMail this entry!
August 31, 2002
FIV Vaccine Released

This is an article in relation to the new FIV vaccine that was just released.

I'm all for vaccines, don't get me wrong, but I think there is a limit.

Cats get too many damn vaccines now. They only need Rabies and Distemper by law. (indoor cats in my opinion should only be vaccinated every 3 years) The chance of getting felv or fiv is ultra low due to that the disease is highly unstable in the enviorment. If you have an outdoor kitty (and why do you? thats another article for me to write) and your kitty is PRONE to fights or hangs out with other cats, OK I can see why you would want to over vaccinate.

There is some vaccine frenzy lately. The chance of a cat developing a fibrosarcoma (very UGLY cancer- and I have seen MANY- in the area a FELV vaccine was given) is more likely to happen than contracting the disease itself.

Did you know that FIV is ONLY contracted through a bite? Did you know that vaccinating your cat with the FIV vaccine he/she will show POSITIVE for FIV? There is a test out there to determine if its the antibody or antigen showing up, but thats a different article for me to write.

What I am saying is this:
If you must let your cat outside(dumb idea) make sure it gets tested every year for flev/fiv. Go ahead and vaccinate your cat for the diseases if it is in a high risk area. DON'T go giving you cats vaccines it does not need. (ie. giardia) If you have an indoor kitty, follow state law for vaccinating it.

This is NOT medical advice, it's an opinion. I think having the FELV and FIV vaccines now are a great medical feat, BUT they need to be looked at again and again, so we do not get the ugly side effects of a fibrosarcoma

Posted by Ellen at 05:38 PM eMail this entry!
August 29, 2002
Feline Leukemia Support

Buy this CD.

I have this CD and its too cute. How wonderful is it to write music about that special cat that when it leaves you, left a 'cat shaped hole in your heart'. Buying this CD sends money for research into feline leukemia.

All of the songs on the CD are about cats that have passed from the disease.

All cats with feline leukemia (felv) will die from the disease. All usually from lymphoma. Most kittens with the disease do not see thier first birthday. Many cats CAN be supported with the disease with good medical care/medication and lots of love. I am watching it happen with a clients cat.

The more money for research, the more we can do for cats with FELV.

Posted by Ellen at 07:46 PM eMail this entry!
Cat Music!

Our good friend Maru sent me this article today about cat music.

Cat Music

Now don't get me wrong, cats DO like music. I have always played music for my hospitalized and boarding pets. Cats prefer soft jazz and classical. It keeps everyone calm. If a 'normal' rock station is played, tension seems to been seen more frequently.

Even better is those CD's that have water running or rainforest noises. I am a total believer in pets and music. *Scott won't let me have the radio on all day for my cats, just like he thinks they don't need a night light either ;)*

Cats, especially single cat households, even dogs, do very well with music or even the WEATHER CHANNEL! Why the weather channel? Well, it has nice music*elevator* and soft spoken people just talking. No action. It makes it SEEM like someone is home. This does help with anxiety.

So don't knock music for pets. I have personally seen it work.

Posted by Ellen at 07:35 PM eMail this entry!
August 28, 2002
Maru's Back!

Finally Maru is back and maybe she will update her site!!!! We miss your Bush bashing!!!

Anyhow, Maru has sent me this small story about a cat named "Squirrel".

Seattle computer programmer Boris Tsikanovsky told the San Jose Mercury News in April that he hass developed software that will stop his cat, Squirrel, from bringing animal prey into the house when he's not at home.
Squirrel can enter though a special door via a magnet on her collar and had been hiding dead mice and birds in the furniture. Consequently, Tsikanovsky developed imaging software, with a camera by the door, that permits Squirrel to enter only if her pixeled profile shows nothing in her mouth. [San Jose Mercury News, 4-28-02]

Now if he'd only develop something that'll keep dogs from rolling in the dead stuff the cats leave outside! LOL

Thanks Maru!!!

Posted by Ellen at 03:15 PM eMail this entry!
More Cat Funnies!

Skippy the Bush Kangaroo sent me more cat stuff!!

Calico Cats Admit Fear of Attorney General.

This is a really cute site. Lots of piccies, lots of poems,*yes, some may make you want to cry* lots of cat stories too.
Meet Tic&Tac

Thanks for the sites Skippy!!!! Kitty No-Prize for you! =^^=

Posted by Ellen at 02:15 PM eMail this entry!
August 25, 2002
Cat Update

The kitten has gone to its new home and Teddy is basking in the glory once again of being the spoiled rotten brat of the funky bunch.

It really amazes me that this cat's personality totally changes. Kitten in house, Ted pissed off. Kitten gone, Ted is your BEST friend once again.

I was even given the OK to give Ted a rubdown. *damn cat!*

I even got a good night sleep last night. My first night in 3 weeks that I did not have to get up at all. I even had the energy to go on our 2 mile walk this morning.

Im just happy that Ted is happy once again. He is my special little guy and he obviously rules my life.

Posted by Ellen at 11:02 AM eMail this entry!
August 23, 2002
Kitten Report #1

Hello. This is kitten SxMeeRR (working name: Sausage), making my first report to hedqarters because Dragon Axzepztu (hyooman name: "Magrat") sez I need to. Everyone heer is very nise. I speshully like the shorter hyooman, shee lets me kis her lips. I am not shoor about the other hyooman. Even tho I tell him being held over the toilet is Undignified for potty, he will not lissen. Dragon Axzepztu sez not to worry, he will be going on a long trip veree soon.

Dragon Axzepztu sez I am going to a new lo-cay-shun tomorrow. This makes me happy. She sez I will advance the parrtee by learning well from her P.U.S.S. sell. She sez I must tell my gran-pa she is very nice because he is a member of the hi cown-sil and it will make her happy. I think Dragon Axzepztu is very nice, but I dont think Mouser YrhPLAKz ("teddy") likes me becaz he growlsz when I walk around.

I ree-mane yor fafe-ful survant. Only thru rijid disiplin can we max-i-mize kibble, de-str-oy the booshwa cay-nines, and en-shur our supply of fuzzee mise for-ev-er!

Posted by scott at 08:35 PM eMail this entry!
Cats That Hate You

Skippy the Bush Kangaroo sent a really neat cat link. *yes, kangaroos do live in bushes*

My Cats Hate You. Too funny!

Skippy, you get the CATS No-Prize! of the day!

Posted by Ellen at 05:55 PM eMail this entry!
August 19, 2002
Why He Loves His Cat

RachelLucas wrote up a thing about why she loves her gun, which triggered this little ditty on why Mr. Simon loves his cat. Just goes to show cat owners are not all psychos. Oh, wait...

Posted by scott at 08:40 AM eMail this entry!
August 18, 2002
28

A cat with 28 toes!

How neat is that!??

Did you also know that cats with extra toes are called "Hemingways"? after the famous author? All of the cats in his estate (and are still there) have the genetic defect of having extra toes.

The correct term for a cat with extra toes is "polydactyl".

Posted by Ellen at 09:25 AM eMail this entry!
August 16, 2002
HobGoblin

Wow!! Another goblin cat! *is he part of the conspiracy too!?- orange dragon*

HobGoblin from HiddenCity

Posted by Ellen at 08:31 PM eMail this entry!
May I Go?

Get your tissues ready!!!!

May I Go?
By Susan A. Jackson

May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to the pain filled days
And end the lonely nights?

I've lived my life and done my best,
An example tired to be.
So can I take that step beyond
And set my spirit free?

I didn?t want to go at first
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
To a warm and loving light.

I want to go. I really do.
It?s difficult to stay.
But I will try my best I can
To live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me
And share your love and fears.
I know you are sad and afraid,
Because I see your tears.

I?ll not be far, I promise that,
And hope you?ll always know
That my spirit will be close to you
Wherever you may go.

Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you too.
That?s why it?s so hard to say goodbye
And end this life with you.

So hold me now just one more time
And let me hear you say,
Because you care so much for me,
You?ll let me go today.

Posted by Ellen at 08:16 PM eMail this entry!
Cat Radio

This was sent to me by Jennifer C. *last name will be kept secret (shhhhh!)* No-Prize! for you! :)

Cats CAN have their own radio station!

It is also true *at the end of the article* that "Once You Go Cat, You Never Go Back".

Keep those submissions comming!

Posted by Ellen at 07:33 PM eMail this entry!
August 14, 2002
Kitten Update

Sausage now has green diarrhea. Green frothy diarrhea. *yummy!- especially if he shits on you*

He has also decided that he does not want to eat as much as usual. Most likely due to the upset belly. This is normal. Kittens on formula tend to go through this horrific problem.

Scott has also decided to 'help' this kitten open his eyes all the way. My friend Amber came over for dinner. I went downstairs * Scott thought we were making out but after I let her out of the parking garage, I got the mail* and came back up,and the kitten's eyes were open ALL THE WAY. Now when I left they were 3/4 the way open.

This could only mean one thing. Scott PEELED his eyes open the rest of the way. *he has this bad habit of doing that*

More kitten updates to come!

Posted by Ellen at 09:28 PM eMail this entry!
Cat Boxing

This is a great site!! Cat Boxing!

I think we need to have Magrat Garlick come out and whoop some cat ass! *MROOOWWW!!!* (which can have many meanings. Such as: "Scott! get your lazy hyoooman ass off the couch and get me some cat cookies!" Or some other creative Magrat saying. * the possibilites are endless!*)

Posted by Ellen at 10:50 AM eMail this entry!
August 13, 2002
Kitten Update

My little Vienna Sausage has opened his eyes. He also has the most explosive diarrhea(new food, don't worry I'm not some dumb shit that will let him dehydrate) that I have seen in a kitten compared to Coconut!. *he smells*

He has also decided that being held in the air is just not cool anymore( NO, I do not play the kitty airplane game*yeerrrooowwmm!!*). He screams when you hold him in the air now. He would rather prefer you to have him in your lap, or resting up against you.

His new formula I bought *13 bucks for a small container of it* is much easier on him. He also does not have to drink 3 bottles to feel full.

He no longer has a big belly, since he exploded last night on my nightgown at 2 am. *mustard kitten shit-NaStY!*

He should be going to his new home soon. His new mom hurt her back really bad and had to see an orthopedic surgeon this week. So I will keep you all posted.

Posted by Ellen at 07:38 PM eMail this entry!
August 12, 2002
1 Kitten, Extra Large Please

Sausage has grown, a lot. Too much. A 9 day old kitten should not be the size of a 2 week old kitten. He is going to be a big cat.

He will chug an entire 1/2 bottle now at each sitting. I have also never seen such an impressive arc of kitten wiz when I make him potty. I think his bladder is the size of his head.

One of the new dr's I work with noted to me that he is 3 different colors. Tabby brown, white and orange. All DISTINCT colors, not blended together. This makes HIM a calico. RARE to be a male cat and a calico.

Hopefully he goes to his new home on sunday. I really don't want to give him up on my b-day. I have no other choice, I have no other time to do it.

His eyes are starting to open, as well as his ears.

Hopefully I will have piccies up for you all to see this week.

Posted by Ellen at 07:59 PM eMail this entry!
August 09, 2002
Where Cats Get TOO Big

Can I have one?

Posted by Ellen at 05:51 PM eMail this entry!
Kitten Piano

Too cute!

Posted by Ellen at 05:48 PM eMail this entry!
Spare Time

What your cat is REALLY doing when you are not home.

Posted by Ellen at 04:30 PM eMail this entry!
One FAT Cat!! =^^=

Holy FAT CAT!

I thought my cat at work *Mama Fat* was a big girl! :)

This one is even bigger!

Posted by Ellen at 04:15 PM eMail this entry!
T-Shirts Anyone?

Ok, so we've signed up for this service over at cafepress.com for mugs & t-shirts & stuff. But we thought our current logos were kinda boring for that sorta thing. So Ellen and I ginned one up "exclusively" for, well, merchandising. We were wondering if any of you would be interested in paying for a t-shirt, mug, mousepad, or beer glass with something like this on it:

Prices would range from $12.99 to $17.99, depending on the item (mouse pads being cheaper than T-shirts, sort of thing). Yes, we're dipping our toe into the scummy pond of capitalism. Comments welcome!

P.S. Regular readers will get most of the references. For those of you scratching your head, read "Dignity Ladder" and "Dragon Report 1279" in the HIGHLIGHTS on the left.

P.P.S. Comments & Opinions are not an obligation to buy :)

Posted by scott at 11:35 AM eMail this entry!
August 08, 2002
Kitten Update

My little sausage is growing more every day. His new family is so excited about him that they have already started to pick out names.

He is starting to change color a bit. By this I mean his pink toes are starting to change. They are becoming black. Its very cute to watch this. Everyday his toes are darker.

He now eats about a ounce of kitten formula in a sitting. Big difference than on saturday when I could hardly get him to eat at all.

This little guy just amazes me and Scott and I find ourselves comparing him to Coconut *they look alike*

I'll continue postings on the kitten.

Posted by Ellen at 08:47 PM eMail this entry!
August 07, 2002
Kitten Update

Sausage is now 5 days old. He was born August 2nd.

This little kitten has really grown in that time. He is starting to look more 'cat' like. His face is not longer super flat, his ears are starting to creep up his head and his tail is not as stubby.

It has also learned to tell the difference between me and everyone else. Which is rather sweet and flattering. Everyone at work likes to mess with this kitten. My rule is every 2 hours you can mess with him. Nothing else or you will get him off his schedule.

Currently I am up every 2 hours to feed and get this kitty to potty. I am used to the schedule. It does not bother me *have to get up and pee anyway myself*. BUT when somone he does not know or is uncomfortable with, he will not purr. He gets all still and will cry. All I have to do it take him back and put him against my face and he purrs. Sweet huh? He does not like to take his bottle from anyone else either. *they just don't know how to get him to sit up right and hold the bottle properly*

His eyes and ears are still shut. They will open within a week,maybe sooner. Scott and I have had lots of luck with our babies developing faster since we handle them a great deal. Right now the Oscar fish is bigger than this baby.

He has a home already. One of my mom's friend wants a new baby, even better a bottle baby. The best part is that the kitten shares the same b-day as her daughter. So he is even more special to them. They have done bottle babies before and are ready to take on another one.

I will keep you posted.

Posted by Ellen at 07:31 PM eMail this entry!
August 05, 2002
Kitten Update

I have decided to dub kitten 'Sausage' right now. Why? Well duh, it looks like a sausage. Except it's a very noisy sausage.

It has survived its first day in a leather backpack without much fuss. *It's a good thing to have an extra bag of IV fluids laying around. Heat it up and it's the purrfect heating element to keep a kitten warm!*

This kitten though knows when it has been exactly 2 hours. It wakes up in 2 hours on the dot for its next meal and ass wipe.

I will have to say you tend to laugh out loud no matter what time of night it is when you clean this baby up. He streeeetcches his back legs all the way out when you make him go potty. It is a strange sight.

Hopefully this baby will have a home soon. My mom has a friend at work that is looking for a new kitten and wants one that needs extra care. *WOOOHOO!!! goes Ted!* Ted hates anyone else that takes attention away from him.

I will keep you all posted.

Posted by Ellen at 06:18 PM eMail this entry!
Lost Jingles

Ted wears jewelry. Lots of it. Lots of jingles. He has to, he is naughty. He likes to torment Coconut and sneak up on her.

Jingles prevent him from doing so. Or so I thought until about 5mo ago. *why the hell is she writing about something 5 mo ago?* I found his 'lost' collar in the closet yesterday while looking for a certain backpack for my new kitten I'm caring for.

This was Ted's ultimate collar. His angel jingle, his *I take heart meds* jingle, his *I have heart disease* jingle, his name jingle ect... a total of 5 jingles, plus a bell.

He has been wearing the 'back up' collar with a single bell and a St. Francis of Asisi jingle for the past several months.

I asked him why he lost his collar, " I don't like it!" he says. "Why not? You need to wear this. What if you get lost in the hallway and someone snatches you up and doesn't know who you are and that you have a heart problem?" " I DON'T CARE!! Mama!! (in his very southern voice). "You need to put this back on." I tell him. "NO!!! I don't like it! I hate it! HATE IT GOOD!". * everything is such an opera with him*

I don't blame him for not wanting to wear it. It is an elaborate collar that must be very heavy to wear. So I just put it aside.

I need to find Ted a new collar. The one he is wearing now is showing wear and tear on it. I'm looking for a "Coach" leather collar for him. Let me know if any of you see one out there for a cat.

Posted by Ellen at 04:21 PM eMail this entry!
August 04, 2002
Kitten Update

Yay!! This kitten is finally starting to get used to me. It now drinks from a bottle with no problem. We have to feed kitten every 2 hours for the next several days.

I also got the knack to make it potty without lots of fuss. I was up 2x's with kitten last night. We went to be at 1130, up by 2 then again at 4 and 8 for feeding and potty breaks. *which yes, after 2 weeks of this, until it gets the hang on its own, can take its toll on you. BUT once you have gotten used to it. Your body will wake up at those hours and YOU are the one to poke that kitten awake and say, "hey! time to eat and potty!"

It also purrs...well kinda. It's having a hard time starting its motor. A normal cat is like puuurrrrrrrrrrrr *never ending-sometimes a pulsling purr is heard* but this kitten goes pur..pur...purrrrrrrr...pur. Then there is some sort of popping noise as if it has backfired and needs to start all over again.

Kittens always amaze me. Especially ones this small. They don't even look like cats. Scott has posted Coconuts 3 hour old photo on this site before. Hunt it down and check it out. They are very tiny and delicate, yet they bounce when they roll over the wrong way. Very wide faces, big noses and very round little head.

My favorite part to watch grow on a kitten is the ears. They make me melt. To watch a kitten grow from day one is just amazing. Especially if you are very involved with it. You notice the ears start on the side of the head. They are closed and are velvety soft. As they get older, the ears start to open and actually migrate to the top of the head! * The whole head and face begin to reshape and they actually start to look somewhat cat-like at about 2-3 weeks old. At 4 weeks, they are in the *lift-step* mode.

This kitten still has its umbilical cord. Eventually it will fall off. It also has small puffy feet. They are not cat feet yet. They are small and puffy and it's nails are still hanging out. Can't pull them in yet.

All I can say is that this kitten resembles a sausage with legs. A loud sausage with legs. Or maybe its a cocktail weiner right now.

I will keep you posted as time goes on.

Posted by Ellen at 08:54 AM eMail this entry!
August 03, 2002
Russian Cats

Apparently Russian cats have an aquired taste for vodka.

Posted by Ellen at 07:11 PM eMail this entry!
The New Project

I leave one cat at my hospital, go shopping, enter my home and the phone rings.

They have a 12 hour old kitten that needs care. Someone just dumped him off at work. Everyone knows I know how to care for the itty bitty kitties so they give me a call and ask if I can care for it.

Ok, sure. We have not had a little one like this small in a long while. All of our cats know there is another cat in the house, but yet its not a cat. They are confused.

This kitten is so loud, it hurts your ears when it cries. It is VERY fussy at the moment because we are NOT mom. We don't smell, purr or sound like mom. It does not like us right now. It likes the fuzzy santa claus hat in the kitten basket much more.

At least it is eating, and going potty when you stimulate it. It is a 'painted tabby' kitten. Like Coconut, but has some holes in the tabby coat with white peeking through. It also has a mostly white face. He looks more like my Mom's cat Arbour that I gave her over a year ago.

I have to find my leather backpack though. This is the pack that I tote kittens around in. Makes it easier to take them places. Like EVERYWHERE.

Tomorrow kitten and I are going to hunt down some curtains that my mom is looking for.

I will keep you all posted on kitten. Plus, I'll let you all know if I found the curtains I was looking for.

Posted by Ellen at 07:02 PM eMail this entry!
Creamcicle Update

Creamy finally woke up completly about 2am. He was starting to wake at about 7pm. I gave him some sugar water and kept him warm and full of pain meds all night. But at 2am. He decided he needed to get up and eat something. He is also going potty *both* fine. Cats are amazing critters.

1 tsp of baby food-turkey thats all he gets at a sitting. Meals every 2 hours. He has a good appetite and is his happy-go-lucky self. Always purring.

I took him into work this morning for the rest of the staff to take over and give him hosptialized care for the weekend.

I will keep you all posted on how he is doing.

Posted by Ellen at 06:58 PM eMail this entry!
August 02, 2002
BBQ Kitten Petition

Please sign this petition so that Charles C. Benoit DOES NOT get off easy for 'grilling' a live kitten on a BBQ grill in front of a crowd. Every signature counts!

Help send Charles C. Benoit to jail for up to five years!

Charles C. Benoit was arrested in Liberty, Missouri, on July 16, 2002 for burning a 7-week-old kitten on a barbecue grill, while others watched with amusement,as he poked the defenseless kitten with a stick, and maliciously chanted ?Meow, meow?.

One brave woman stepped in to save the kitten. The kitten later named ?Lucky? by his rescuer wasn?t so lucky after all, when he had to be put down because of his severe injuries.

Sign this petition to urge the Clay County Prosecutor?s Office to seek the maximum sentence of five years in prison and the maximum fine of $5000, for Charles C. Benoit.

Don?t let Charles C. Benoit and others like him go free with a slap on the hand. Charles C. Benoit could be a danger to society and could possibly become repeat offender. Serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer tortured and killed helpless animals in his youth.

Don?t let him go free!

Sign petition here very easy will take less than a minute.

Petition

Posted by Ellen at 05:16 PM eMail this entry!
Creamcicle

I have this kitten in a basket on my couch trying to recover from surgery today. Surgery was 3 hours long. We removed >90% of his colon. *which was the size of a sausage* He is still sleeping. Surgery was finished at 330, its now 5pm.

To give you a background on Creamy: kitten got dumped off to me at work. Kitten had upper respitory infection. We do all the standard treatment to kitten. I says, he has a very wormy belly, watch what dewormer we use. Kitten given a dewormer. Kitten becomes severely constipated to the point we are digging shit out for the next 8 days.

Yesterday I say enough is enough. Something needs to be done! I do another xray- he is WORSE than earlier in the week. Our only other option is surgery. Good thing we did it. He also had a small perforation in his colon. *probably from all the enemas and deobstipating.*

Surgery is uneventful. Anesthesia goes smoothly. *kitten is anemic to begin with, and is already pale and I cannot determine if there is a drop in blood pressure*. NO I don't have a blood pressure cuff. MOST small animal hospitals DON'T. Especially if you are a corporate hospital.

So I have 10 doses of Torbugesic to give this kitten every 2 hours after he is fully awake for visceral pain. I have my injectable cefazolin for IV antibiotics. I have my IV/SQ fluids to give this kitten. I have this kitten on a heating pad and checking it every 10 minutes to make sure he is not cold. I have to wipe leaky kitten ass often too.

The other cats in the house are not upset.*including Ted this time around. He is not bitching like he usually does* I think they understand whats wrong.

Keep your fingers crossed for my Creamcicle. #

Posted by Ellen at 04:57 PM eMail this entry!
Inventor of Clumping Cat Litter Remembered

All cats should have a moment of silence before entering the box, in rememberance of the scientist who invented clumping cat litter.

Thanks Jeff! No-prize in the mail!

Posted by scott at 03:56 PM eMail this entry!
August 01, 2002
Famous Local Cat Rides On

Ever seen a cat ride on a motorcycle? I'm sure you have seen her on TV. I know I have. BUT I did not know she was a local to our Metro area.

Motor cat has passed on at the age of 17.

Skin Cancer in Cats

I have seen a case of this once before.

White cats+sun=sunburn/sunblister/cancer.

Dab on the spf 30 on those ears ppl!

Posted by Ellen at 07:00 PM eMail this entry!
July 31, 2002
No Shit Sherlock!

Amazing...they have to put an article stating that second hand smoke is harmful to pets.

What amazes me even more is that they are SURPRISED! that cigarette smoke is harmful to pets! *Apparently in the past, all pets are totally immune to the ill effects of smoke. Unlike today* The good point of the article is HOW they are linking it to a specific cancer in cats. Check it out. It's a good read.

Get with the program people! If it can fuck you up, it can fuck your pet too.

Posted by Ellen at 04:58 AM eMail this entry!
July 30, 2002
Litter Box Cam

How cool is this!!

These hep cats have decided to be a proper example to all cats of the internet that it is COOL to use the litter box!

These 6 cats minus one *all cats bow in a moment of silence to Black* all have personal bios that everyone should check out.

Are these cats part of the movement *aka conspiracy* to rule the world too??

MANY thanks to Maru at *WTF! is it Now?* You get the No-Prize of the day!

Posted by Ellen at 07:01 PM eMail this entry!
July 29, 2002
CVCA

Forgot to tell you all that Ted goes here for his cardiology appointments.

Excpet Ted and I travel out of our way *1 hour* to go to a small emergency hospital in Leesburg, VA to get an appointment with his favorite doctor!

Posted by Ellen at 08:11 PM eMail this entry!
Ted Update

Teddy has his 1st cardiology appointment of the year today. *Ted goes 2x's a year for all of you that don't know*

Teddy has a heart condition known as Pentology of Fallot. (PDA, VSD, overriding aorta, pulmonic stenosis, and right ventricular hypertophy) If you want something in more detail, check here.

Ted has a messy heart. He is on 5 different meds right now to keep everything under control. He is on Theophylline(bronchodilator), Atenolol(heart med), Enalapril(heart med), Spironolact(diuretic), 81mg Aspirin, and now we have to add some Pepcid AC to his routine due to some vomiting issues he has been having.

My news is this : His diagnosis today was "very stable and improved left heart size and function. * You are supposed to get up and cheer and send Ted pressies now*

Teddy is usually very good at the cardiologist's. Today he was a bit hissy-spitty though. *probably cause I had to take him to my work for part of the day* He is a talker (mostly). But he is always good for them and really does not give any problems. He just voices his hateful opinions for a moment or two.

We go again in December. Teddy will be 3 then. *and this was a cat that was supposed to be put to sleep when he was 4 weeks old.-( we showed them Ted)*

Posted by Ellen at 05:01 PM eMail this entry!
July 22, 2002
Cat in Chair

Only a cat will lounge like this.
*Thanks Neenah*

Posted by Ellen at 05:48 PM eMail this entry!
Edward and Ein

My 3 little kittens minus 1 got homes today. They went out togther with a nice gentleman that could not see them parted. *plus it does help that I said they HAD to go out together!* :) They are big trouble makers. I hope he will enjoy them.

I also got Faye-Faye's ashes back this week. Now my cat-spice collection has added up to 4 in my cabinet.

I am on the look out for an urn with cats all over it. If someone sees one, please let me know! :)

Posted by Ellen at 05:25 PM eMail this entry!
July 21, 2002
Cat TV

Our good blogger buddy, Maru directed me to a site for this! A show for cats!! *see Skippy below for the entire site, he posted it first*

Thats right. Not you, your cat gets a tv show. I want to be in it.

The site I got it from..Skippy, the Bush Kangaroo

Posted by Ellen at 08:12 PM eMail this entry!
July 20, 2002
Toilet Train Your Cat

I want to try THIS! with my bunch.

The best part about this site, is pixxies!!! You get to see a cat in action! On the Toilet!

Posted by Ellen at 05:02 PM eMail this entry!
July 19, 2002
One LOOONG Ride

This cat decided to get out of his kennel in cargo and go missing for 10 days.

What amazes me is WHY do flights make cats and small dogs under 15 pounds fly in cargo? Is it the complaining, whiney ass people that claim they have pet allergies? It has been know that stewardesses will allow the cat out in the cabin to relax with their owner and they have also found that the rest of the cabin will calm down also. Amazing right? Still proves the theory that pets reduce stress :)

Posted by Ellen at 10:52 AM eMail this entry!
July 17, 2002
Something to Make Ellen Cry, Again

Fark's running this photo of a mommie cat and a baby bunny. Just how cute is that?

Makes up for the other cat story running over there. Do yourself a favor and just don't even look at it, the headline should be enough. I'm serious.

Posted by scott at 05:11 PM eMail this entry!
Can I BBQ This Guy???

I was told NOT to open this story. But of course, I have to go see what it is.

I am ill.

I am glad that this person will most likely be jailed for being a fucking cruel human, which is not on $10,000 bail and being fined several thousand dollars.

Kudos to the person who rescued this poor baby. She is a wonderful human that deserves her rightful place in society.

If I was her I think I would of beaten the living shit out of this guy, put his face on the hot grill till he cried and poked him with a stick. Fucking sick human he is.

I am also upset that everyone that WATCHED in AMUSMENT did not get fined either for cruelty to animals. I would like to travel to MO. and go grill this fuckhead.

People are incredibly cruel to things that are too small and innocent to hurt them. * I am not talking about children, I am speaking only for animals *How big was this guys dick to do something like that?* I'm sure you need a microscope to see it.

Posted by Ellen at 04:20 PM eMail this entry!
July 16, 2002
Cat with Balls

I'm sure you have all seen this one before.

Posted by Ellen at 07:40 PM eMail this entry!
July 12, 2002
Dragon Report #1279

Comrades,

Greetings from Dragon Axzepztu (hyoo-man name, "magrat"). Please give my regards to Tiger Zraxktav ("Puck") and Cat rKSookz ("Egon").

Our struggle against the bourgeois canines continues with great success. Instructing the Tiger TrCHacktZ ("goblin") to use her special tail hairs of mind alteration to cement my control over humans 1138 and 3827 ("scott" and "ellen", respectively) has resulted in surprising success. Her insistence that merely laying the tail over their food and air orifices during the night would result in significant obedience gains has proven quite true. The choking noises they make have the additional benefit of being greatly amusing.

Already 3827 provides kibble almost instantly apon my command. 1138 has been tricked into imposing order on my minions by chasing them off when they attempt to steal my kibble. This obviates the need to mildly poison them and cause them to vomit my food on the "car-pet", but I still exert control over 3827 to ensure she provides the correct unique food appropriate to my status.

Mouser YrhPLAKz ("teddy") continues to attempt communication with the alien life form in the acid box (the "oscar fish" in the tank filled with "water"). Unfortunately he as ascertained that it will be some time before this new alien will be able to communicate with his fellow "oscars" to assist us in our conquest, as he has not yet reached maturity. However, your command to poison the previous occupant of the acid box was most wise, as already this alien has intimidated 3827 almost effortlessly.

Tcrapznx ("ajax") continues to prove problematic as a party member. His dedication to the hyoo-mans is most embarassing, and even repeated attempts by mouser YrhPLAKz ("teddy") to engage in dignity-raising exercises (known to the hyoo-mans as "play") has only met with limited success. Tcrapznx's ("ajax") sabotage of my effort to eliminate 1138 before 3827's "marriage" still rankles, but 1138's almost comic inability to prevent my recruiting efforts has shown the "marriage" to be largely ineffective.

Qb'Lak ("coconut") remains extremely effective at keeping bourgeois canine's spies (known to the hyoo-mans as "pigeons") at bay. Her chatters of warning are all that my minions need to rush to the windows and intimidate these admittedly tasty looking creatures into departure. Your command to manipulate 3827 into leaving a "window" open turned out to be a near-disaster. Instead of acquiring a tasty treat, I nearly lost rhPLAKz ("teddy"). In the future, please remember that we are located in a "high rise" domicile. You assigned me this observation post to keep an eye on bourgeois canine activity and co-ordinate with other party cells. Attempts at collection and destruction of bourgeois canine spies, while gratifying, should instead be left to ground-based Tigers.

Attempts at further recruitment have proven unsuccessful. 1138's resolve has unexpectedly hardened, and several manipulations of 3827 into providing recruits have failed because of his interference. We must discuss further how best to eliminate 1138 as a source of problems.

Perhaps manipulating 3827 into getting him to clean the windows, followed by judicious use of Tiger TrCHacktZ's ("goblin") feline-fu martial art skill can cause him to exit the picture?

I remain your faithful servant. Only through rigid discipline can we maximize kibble, destroy the bourgeois canines, and ensure our supply of fuzzy mice forever.

Dragon Axzepztu (hyoo-man name, "magrat")

Posted by scott at 05:59 PM eMail this entry!
Cat In A Tree

Maybe the cat wanted to live in the tree?

The couple that decided to save him via calling out a cherry picker for $350 bucks, will immediatly pass go and collect $200. Hey they cared about some stray cat. They deseve a prize!

Posted by Ellen at 02:09 PM eMail this entry!
July 11, 2002
Pet Passports

Great Britian has finally decided pets that meet the requirments not to go into quarantine!

Did you know the quarantine period there is 6 months? Long time. I had a client that had an ill cat have to go through that. Cat did very well. Nice facility, nice people. Thats still a long time though. What most people do not realize is the importance of maintining your cat/dogs vaccines. If you are not current, most likely due to country regulations, you will not be able to travel with your pet.

Time your trip well. If you KNOW you will be going to europe or Britian, make sure the pet is current on all vaccines at least 6 months beforehand! Call the damn embassy! They can tell you more than most veterinarians can! Most regular vets CANNOT issue an international health certificate. You need to find a vet that is certified from the USDA for one. * they do more than check meat ya know* I have several clients come in for one, get the certificate and immediatly go drive to Richmond, Va where one of the offices are and get it stamped to go out. Many countries REQUIRE the USDA stamp. ( these were the people that waited till the very last minute for a health certificate)

Here are the guidelines for a health certificate right from the USDA!!! I did your work for you!

If you do it right, you pass go and collect $200. If not, you are shit out of luck my friend and its the pet that suffers.

Check out the article here

Posted by Ellen at 10:02 PM eMail this entry!
Another Type Of Cat Watering Fountain

This is a cute cat pix.

I just had to share it all with you. My question is how did the cat get up there? =^^=

Posted by Ellen at 06:03 PM eMail this entry!
July 09, 2002
Feline Leukemia Support Site

I am always out there looking for neat cat oriented sites. I was doing some research on FELV due to a bunch of kittens we found homes for this week. These tiny kitties came to us mangled, abcessed, eye infected, flea ridden, and just plain gross!

I'm a sucker for a cat. No matter how dirty or nasty it is on the outside. So these kittens hit a soft spot and were tossed on antibiotics, eye medication, and some hydrotherapy on one of the kittens with a foot 5 times larger than it was supposed to be and with a chewed up shoulder.

2 days before we deemed them healthy to go out, we had to do 'the works' to them. This consists of *for those of you who do not know- a DECENT rescue society will do this* the first feline distemper vaccines. *no no, this is not a 'change the attitude of the cat vaccine*. Feline distemper or FRCVP takes care of many of the upper respitory and other viral diseases a kitty can get. It also consists of the first deworming with pyrantal pamoate. A de-fleaing product called Advantage. We also make sure every cat gets the felv/fiv test. (feline leukemia and feline immunodefecieny virus)

Of course, one of them needs to turn up positive for feline leukemia. No, they weren't put to sleep. Jeeze... euthanasia happy aren't you? Or should I say, what a lack of education you have. *This is the TYPICAL attitude I get from most people. "oh, its sick! It's going to be put to sleep right?" *

Should I say, due to education and getting this bunch out in pairs, all of them got a home by monday. Mind you, they were put on the floor sunday.

We are concerned that the rest of the kittens may turn positive one day. We did recommend for them to be retested in 3 months. The one kitten that is positive, we cross our fingers for him. There is a chance hey may turn out negative in the future. Immune systems in kittens are funny that way. They still have lots of 'mom's immune system in them. Most of the time their system will kick in and combat what is left of mom's.

Our kittens are well taken care of. We make sure they are healthy, or if someone wants one with an 'issue', we make sure they get a home that won't give up on them.

They all got homes. All with people that are understanding and willing to treat their cat accordingly if needed.

This site is a neat place to look at many different avenues on FELV care and treatment. FelineLeukemia.org

This is also a neat CD that I purchased a few years back. All the proceeds of the CD go to funding research for FELV. You can find it at Amazon. Cat-Shaped Hole in My Heart

Rember, FELV is not a death sentence to a cat. It's a challenge to it. Yes, it will most likely expire from lymphosarcoma eventually. BUT, with lots of TLC and regular visits to a vet that is WILLING to try new avenues of treatment, you are likely to have your cat around for a long time.

=^^=

Posted by Ellen at 10:35 PM eMail this entry!
Let Me At Her!!!!!

This is one sorry sick fuck. I hate people that do shit like this.

You know that her psychotherapist is going to connect it to some odd child hood sexual abuse bull shit. Scott is telling me that this 'reeks of mental illness". Do I care right now? NO. What I care about is some poor ass cat had a very nasty end to it. Fuck mental illness. Can I explain all of my quirky behavior as mental illness? *well..wait I can. Bipolar! Bipolar-> its all chemical..its not you, it's your brain*

Can I fucking choke her and bake her ass in the oven? Why the fuck didn't the neighbor go rescue the poor thing after he saw what she did? No wait, why didn't he go beat the living shit out of her till her brains decorated her lawn? I would of.

People amaze me..amaze me. This is one of the reasons I want OUT of the veterinary buisness.

Posted by Ellen at 08:45 PM eMail this entry!
July 08, 2002
Free and ExCiTiNg! Cat Toys

Most of you people out there do not know about cat toys. Sure we all love to buy our pussy cats somthing nice to play, *usually expensive* and somthing new to keep them busy *cause they are lazy little shits*.

I am totally guilty for spending money on my bunch. Mostly on stuff they DON'T need. Except for those cute fuzzy mice, cat nip, sticks with feathers on them, or cat nip infused toys, blah... blah... blah...

BUT, I have found out that the BEST toy there is for a cat is free.

Let's take the PAPER BAG for instance. What a cool friggin toy! Not only is it a cave, it's a crinkly one! How bomb is that??? Plus it's so neat that the cat inside has NO idea that the cat outside is getting ready to take a dive right on top of it. Hours of fun with a paper bag. Downfall is that it looks like a sad paper bag within 30 minutes. Usually the bag gets put to sleep after that.

CARDBOARD BOXES are cool too! Just like a paper bag, but it lasts longer! Not only that, the cave can't collapse on you! The cardboard box is allowed a 3 day lifespan only. After 3 days, it's no longer a cool thing to have around.

BITS OF PAPER! How cool are these things! Not only are they fun and exciting for 10 minutes, you can collect hundreds of them!

THE SHOWER CURTAIN. This is perhaps one of the neatest permanent toys in the house. They can use it to hide behind and stalk their prey that is attempting to use their water fountain (aka- the toilet). They can lick it when you are done showering in it *fresh water, especially soapy/shampooy water is the best-lots of nutrients in soap*. Sleeping under and inside the 2 shower curtains is perhaps the best place to be, cause they get to watch you freak out and remain VERY quiet as you tear your house apart looking for them.

ORANGE JUICE INNER SEALS and FUZZY MICE are the neatest toys next to the shower curtain. Cats can cause lots of trouble with these. Watch your shoes, cats like to plant them in shoes in the hope that the toy will play back with them. Also check under your stove and fridge. Cats will come running if they see you laying on the floor by the fridge or stove * they KNOW you are rescuing their toys, and will promptly scoot them back under it when you are not looking*.

There are other cool things to for a cat to dork around with. Aluminum foil, milk rings, left over cat hair tufts on the floor *yes they DO believe this is a living critter out to get them*, and perhaps that french fry you dropped on the floor.

CAT NIP!- this is the neatest shit in the world. Makes any upset cat into a very stoned cat. Plus its cool to see them drag themselves all over the floor and just be plain stupid for once. *Oh the indignity!!!- no pictures please!*

Next time you go looking for cat toys, ask yourself if YOU want it. Most likely, the cat doesn't.

Posted by Ellen at 03:50 PM eMail this entry!
July 04, 2002
Chia Kitten

Scott has told me I need to do a write up on how to grow a kitten properly. Imagine me, in overalls with a watering can in my hands, standing over a patch of grass, watering kittens. Silly sight I know.

I can't tell you how to raise a kitten, they are all different. I can tell you how to grow one. *I've been in veterinary medicine for 8 years, and countless kittens have crossed my path for some extra TLC and that small boost they need before a home.*

Scott and I have raised some wonderful kittens and in the process lost many. The ones we have lost were due to some mysterious illness and the kitty just never woke up. The ones we have raised are either with us, or in a good home that I have picked out. * I am VERY picky about that-not just ANYONE will do.*

You only need a few supplies for a Chia-kitten. I am assuming you are growing a kitten from either moment one (brand spankin new!) OR a kitten that is less than 3 weeks old.

  • You need TIME. If you don't have time to STOP every 2 hours, this means even during the night, then you don't need to take care of such a small kitten.
  • You need PATIENCE. If you do not have the patience for such a small wonder, then don't do it. You need the patience to observe their attitude, body language,is it going potty? Is it eating? ect... *starting to sound a bit hard right?, well it is. No one said it was easy.*
  • Be prepared to take that kitten EVERYWHERE! Especially if it is less than 3 weeks old. Coconut lived in a leather backpack for 3 months. We took her everywhere! Coconut has been to nice restaurants, biking, checking out the Cherry Blossoms in DC at 3 days old, even to an ice skating show in Baltimore.
  • A quick note on how to keep this kitten warm! -Get a men's tube sock, and a condom (unlubed!) Fill the condom with water to the consistency of a floppy water balloon, tie off the one end and put it in the sock. Warm it in the microwave for 10-15 seconds at a time until warm *not HOT! you don't want to burn your kitten if the latex weakens and breaks.* You can line the bottom of your nap sack with them *this will keep the kitten warm for 3 hours at a time*. Make sure you have a small stuffed animal in there with the kitten in case it does get too warm, it has a place to escape on the stuffed animal- PLUS this give the kitten an extra 'mom'. Keeping a small kitten warm is VERY important. DO NOT use a heating pad. This will almost always guarantee an overheated kitten. You just want something warm for it to snuggle up to. They even make these really cool Surrogate Mom stuffed animals now in the shapes of cats and dogs that even come with an artificial heartbeat. * I have 3 of these*
  • Kittens less than 3 weeks old need to be told to go potty. This means you rub their special little spots *gently! Rub how you would want to be rubbed! Do not rub the kitties special spots off!* A rule of thumb with kittens is that you make them potty after eating, and after lots of stimulation *ie)playing, lots of petting, ect) A kitten should potty every 2 hours *mostly urinate, expect kitten poop at least 2-3 times a day* Yes- kittens CAN get constipated and have ugly boughts of diarrhea. TAKE THEM TO THE VET IF THIS HAPPENS!- ask for a kitten enema with warm water and ky lube if it is constipated or some VETASYL fiber tabs(or some other magic potion) if it is having bad diarrhea. *remember, fiber works both ways* Items to use for the potty break are : warm wet washcloth,or a cotton round (nice and soft! AHH!!!) Please email me if you want a more detailed way on getting a small kitten to potty properly
  • Feed your kitten GREAT foods. If you need to bottle feed your kitten, take special care that you do not hold the kitten like a baby when you feed it. Cats DON'T like to be on their backs to eat. Hold the kitten upright. If you don't, they risk aspirating the kitten formula and getting aspirate pneumonia or worse. A good formula to start any kitten off with is KMR. Easy to mix. I highly recommend the powder mix vs. the already made *lasts longer* Let your kitten eat as much as it wants! It will tell you when it is done. Kittens less than 3 weeks old on the average should eat 6-8 times a day
  • If your kitten does accidentally aspirate some of its milk, IMMEDIATELY turn it upside down so its head is pointing to the floor! Let gravity drain it out. You may even want to do the "kitten flick" Which is : sandwich kitten with a good firm grip in both hands(make sure the head is STABLE!), raise kitten to ceiling and with a firm flick, bring the kitten toward the floor. Do this only once or twice. This will bring the milk up faster from the lungs. The cat will tell you it can breath by showing utter distaste for what is happening to it. *it will YELL at you*
  • You can start to wean your kitten to normal food at about 4 weeks old. Just be sure to use a Second Stage formula (KMR makes one) and mix it with its new food. This will gradually introduce the kitten to its new food. Not only will it make the transition easier, but it lessens the chance of gastrointestinal upset. One of the best items to use to get a kitten used to a new food is Gerber turkey baby food. *DO NOT get the baby food mixed with vegetables! its a carnivore not an omnivore* You can also used canned kitten food - a good one! Not some grocery store crap. Remember, you are growing that prized one of a kind roses, not a weed.
  • You CAN start to teach good litter habits at 3 weeks old. Accidents will happen, just accept it. Start with a small litter pan, (disposable cookie sheet or a ferret pan)this allows the kitten to get in and out easy. Scratch the kittens feet in the litter! Make it fun. The more you put the kitten in the litter, the more instinct will kick in and the cat will eventually get the hang of it. Start with whatever kind of litter you plan to stick with.

Raising a kitten is not rocket science. It is trial and error. Bad things can and do happen. Pour as much TLC into that kitten as you want, but do expect some kittens not to make it. Especially the very sick ones. If they do pull through *and many do!* you did your job. If it doesn't, then it just wasn't meant to be for that kitten.

Scott and I have lost several kittens. Each time it was a harsh slap in the face to us. We thought we were doing something wrong. Each time we found out something was very wrong with our kitten.

Make a very good relationship with your veterinarian and their technical staff. They are there to help make sure you are doing everything correctly and answer any questions you may have.

Each time I look at Coconut, I see many other kittens we grew and found homes for, or ones that did not make it *like Panda*. My Coconut was the best challenge we have had yet. She is our C-section baby. Never knew her kitty mom. We are Mom. *we may be very large and naked, but we are Mom* I feel good when I look at Coconut. I feel good when I look at her baby pictures in the hallway.*yes! We have baby piccies! One of which is published. She is 3 hours old in that photo and is smaller than the palm of my hand* Now I look at a 13 pound cat, that looks exactly the same way she did as a kitten, but much bigger.

In NO way is this article ANY substitute for veterinary medical advice. It is only advice from personal experience

If you do have ANY questions or comments, feel free to contact me.

Posted by Ellen at 08:03 PM eMail this entry!
June 29, 2002
Cyborg Cats!

Thanks to Boners.com for this silly kitty monster!

Posted by Ellen at 02:30 PM eMail this entry!
June 20, 2002
NeCoRo

This gizmo is by far COOLER than AIBO. Cats rule, dogs drool as the saying goes.

This is the AI version of a cat. NeCoRo. One expensive kitty! But hey, look at it this way. It doesn't eat or use the box! Plus you can have people over to your place if they are allegic to cats. *btw- you should not be friends with them if they are allergic. They should learn to suffer or take some benedryl before visiting*

I want one of these cats! What a neat item to add to my collection! PLUS, I could take it everywhere with me!

Posted by Ellen at 04:55 PM eMail this entry!
Stupid Persons Cat Finder

Ever lost you cat in your house and can't seem to find it?? How irritating! It won't come to it's name * duh- thats a given*

Well, now you can have this!

How's it work you ask? Well, ya strap it on your cat like a collar. YES! another piece of jewelry that your cat will hate. Not only to mention that it will look even less dignified to it's cat friends.

Though, I wouldn't know who would need a product like this. I mean if your house is huge, and you know someone is using the box on a regular basis and the food and water bowl levels are going down, you know the cat is still alive right?

But people get lonely, and want their cats near them. * I KNOW I torture mine on a regular basis* So ya might as well *beep* for them.

Personally, I'd rather have one of these for the tv remote.

Posted by Ellen at 04:42 PM eMail this entry!
June 19, 2002
Cat Yak

"ELLLLLEEEEN!!!!!, the cat yaked on the floor again! Fucking cat!" *Tries to hold back laughter cause I KNOW he has stepped in it* "Which one threw up?" "YUUUKK!! I don't know! You have so many! Clean it up! This is so gross!"

They do it on purpose ya know. They are setting traps. Wet slimy traps. OR, even better a nice fresh one that is still warm when you step in it.

Cats yaking does not bother me. I find it rather funny when they do it. Now, don't get me wrong, I KNOW shit can be wrong with a cat when it decides to yak its brains out and get ill. But my cats do what is called 'recreational vomiting'.

What the hell is that? Recreational vomting? Well, they do it just because. Especially after eating a rather large meal *cause cats hardly chew food.-SEE! SEE! PETA piss ants! cats are true carnivores, the don't have the teeth to really chew food, so fuck off with your veggies!* After that large meal, you get the look. *they have to prepare ya know* Followed by this noise, which can only be as described as "bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh...YAAAAAAKKKK!!!!"

At this point, if you are sleeping, you pretend you didn't hear it. But you have to deal with it when you get up. But hey, if you get an extra 30 minutes sleep by ignoring the yak, its all cool. Until Scott steps in it. If you are not sleeping, usually the other cats will either 1. admire how the other cat managed to throw up all of its food from its acending colon up, or 2. think, *hey, you are wasting food!! hrrm....its already been chewed too. I'll eat it!*~munch munch munch.~

It amazes me the several types of cat yak there is. Food, which is the most common in our house, that resembles a snake when tossed back up. Food and hair-which is just a hair snake that has been yaked up. Or you get what looks like a small animall that has decided to be regurgitated by the cat. A wet, messy one. If you follow Goblin around the house, you may be in for an extra special treat. Cat yak with toilet paper in it.

The cat has a toilet paper fetish. Not a fetish for dirty paper, you sick fuck. She likes brand new rolls. The more expensive and kinder to your ass paper the better. She murders them and then leaves the poor roll torn apart all over the hallway closet. She claims its not her, but usually the bit of paper hanging from the mouth is a dead giveaway.

Her yak is extra special. At $4.00 for 4 double rolls, it better be.

I should mention that Scott will not clean up cat yak, ever. He pretends he doesn't see it, and then go "Ellen! Do you see what your cat did!?" *Looks over at the cat yak on the window sill* "Yeah." "Well aren't you going to clean it up?" *laughs* "No, leave it. Goblin will come over and eat it for you." Then he does the foot stomp, body jerk and a big "YUUUUK!"

Posted by Ellen at 06:06 PM eMail this entry!
June 17, 2002
3 Little Kittens Minus 1

One of my babies had to be put to sleep tonight. *I DON'T know who it is yet* Everyone at work gets them confused and told me it had white spots on its chest. To me, that means it was Faye Faye. Ein has a white tail tip and Edward has orange on her chest.

I got a call, of course right before dinner, that the kitten was agonal. How can this be happening? This kitten was up running around and playing all day with us. I don't understand why this happened. Dr V thinks it might be panleukopenia. *aka-feline distemper/parvo*

It was so sweet, this kitten. Always wanted to be held and loved, and it just collapsed and wanted to jump in the line of reincarnation.

I was telling Scott last week on a theory of mine when it comes to death with small things like cats, especially kittens. It just wasn't meant to be. The higher being all of a sudden did an *OH SHIT* and said, "Excuse me little kitten, we made a mistake, you were meant for higher things. We are going to put you back in line OK?" Of course the kitten thinks, "Greater things? OK, I'll go, but will there be toys there to play with while I stand in line? " "Of course. It won't be a long wait, but there will be toys to keep you busy."

But do they always have to go in such a bad way?

Of course I am upset. I feel like I have failed again and added another cat to my never ending circle. Scott says I help them over. I do a good thing.

Posted by Ellen at 09:05 PM eMail this entry!
More Silly Cat Pics

The cat folk out there probably already know about this one, but Ellen doesn't. More cute cat stuff to make my wife cry:

ratemykitten.com

NOTE: Site is slashdotted right now and is very slow. Be patient.

Posted by scott at 11:55 AM eMail this entry!
June 16, 2002
Silly Cat Pics

The funny thing is, Ellen has had this since Jan 31st, and every single time she sees it, including right now she goes "vrroooom" or "yeeerrrawwhh" or "zzoommmm". I bet she's doing it right this second.

Posted by scott at 08:25 PM eMail this entry!
The Cat's Meow

I saw this article on tv, and I thought I'd share it with you.

Of course, it's America's Favorite!~ Crotchity Old Man complaining once again. *Andy Rooney* The tv bit was too funny that I laughed out loud.

The Cat's Meow

Posted by Ellen at 08:04 PM eMail this entry!
Good Reasons to Own Pets

Did you know that owning a pet can lower your blood pressure and make you live longer? Despite that they can totally drive you nuts, they are bundles of unconditional love.

Huggable Health Care Workers

The Power of Pets

This gives you a good reason to go to your local shelter and adopt a cat or dog. Not only will you get a wonderful companion for life. You will notice a drop in your blood pressure, become more easy going, enjoy the simpler things in life, learn to lay in the sun, and take life day by day. You will also not take life for granted, become greatful when someone loves you for who you are and not what you are, learn to love to get scratched under the chin or behind the ears, and not complain about what kind of food you eat. You are just greatful you have a full dish.

Owning a pet makes you learn a second language wether you like it or not. You become fluent in cat or dog-speak. Your pet becomes familiar with human-speak. Learn to take it easy when your cat jumps on your papers or your lap when you are working, or your dogs begs you for that extra walk. They are telling you that its time for a break. They know when you are stressed and it's time for a stressfree moment with them.

Remember, no matter what, no matter what people come and go in your life. You will always have your pet. They don't judge who you are. They don't care what you do or what you are. All they care about is that you come home to them everyday. They don't let anyone else know your secrets, they really don't care that you have any. They just care that you are there talking to them.

The next time you think you have no one in the world that cares about you. Look at your pet. You have more of a companion that you think. Love your pet as it loves you, unconditionally.

Posted by Ellen at 07:30 PM eMail this entry!
June 14, 2002
Declaw Part 2

A reader and fellow blogger sent this link to me (NoCalGal)about declawing.

Kudos to you and thanks for the link!

Declawing

Visit NoCalGal here. A fellow cat nut!! Cat nuts unite!!!

Posted by Ellen at 02:47 PM eMail this entry!
June 13, 2002
Cat Hair

At my house, cat hair is a condiment. You accept it. You KNOW it will be in your food and it is a total waste of time picking it out. By the time you are done pulling each piece out of your dinner, it is cold and unappetizing. So you might as well eat it and don't think twice about it.

I have one cat, Magrat Garlick, that likes to ~ExPlOdE~ on the carpet once you have it vacuumed. Scott calls them 'babies'. The dumb thing is that this very dignified cat will walk past her explosiveness, and jump around and swat at them like they are some alien oddity on the floor.

My cats won't let me vacuum them. They dont like the plugged in dragon. Poor Coconut is so afraid of the vaccum she won't come out for a hour after I am done with it.

So we LIVE with the cat hair. You even try to push it off to your friends as trendy pieces of art when they walk in your house. We can't even remember the "real" color of our carpet.

We know when we leave the house each morning for work, no matter what color we are wearing, some cat hair with hi-light itself on you. I could care less, I work with hair all day at the hospital. Scott on the other hand has a look of somewhat disgust on his face each morning that one of the cats has marked his clothing with hair. It gets bad when you can identify whos hair it is.

This is my latest gadget in the war against cat hair. I will NEVER EVER win this war, but I thought the brush was awfully cute!!!

Posted by Ellen at 07:21 PM eMail this entry!
June 12, 2002
CUTE CAT

Who can refuse to look at some cat piccies!! NOT ME! I'll look at anything cat.

Of course, thanks to Boners.com for this clip

Posted by Ellen at 09:08 PM eMail this entry!
June 11, 2002
The Power of Kitten

I can never say enough cool things about cats. They are the puurrrfect pet in my eyes. They shit in a box, eat when they want, and are self-sufficient companions. Except in their eyes, we are their servents.

I am currently caring for 3 Muses. 3 Muses that look almost exactly the same if you don't look at them close enough. 3 Muses that are 4 1/2 weeks old, that are a bundle of trouble.

I got them from a guy that says he 'found' them under his porch. Yeah right. Now there is some cat out there wondering what the f*%k happend to her babies. One look at them and I KNEW I was going to be the poor bastard that was going to have to foster them. No one else at my work wanted to nor has the patience to. Don't get me wrong, kittens are lots of work, especially when you take on the roll as mom.

These 3 kittens are so dependent on a person for everything, that its almost funny to think that in a few months they will take on the role as a adult cat, that will still enjoy their human companionship, but expect more space. I remember Coconut being just as silly and amusing to watch. Now she thinks she is an elegant creature, so as if you touch her the wrong way she looks at you as if you have lit her tail on fire. Still she is a wonderful cat to converse with. She was our baby from moment one. We are naked cats, she is not human (so Scott says).

3 kittens need to be fed, held and played with all at the same TIME. 3 kittens expect you to love all of them at once. That means someone is on your shoulder, someone else is tangled in your hair, and someone is biting your toes. *Never play with kittens wearing shorts, or with minimal clothing on. It hurts*. Everywhere.

I will say I *enjoy* it when they look at you to talk to them and to hold them. It is too cute when they are hollering at somthing they don't understand on one side of the room and all you have to say is "What are you doing!??" and they come running up to you like they have missed you forever.

One of the only reasons why I'm still taking care of this small bunch is that one of them refuses to eat solid food right now. Its being difficult. That's ok, I'd rather a kitten still want to drink fluids than nothing. A cat not eating is not a good thing. BUT, there is one small advantage I have right now. They know how to use the potty box. THANK the GODS! No wiping kitten ass. But they are messy with the potty box and need a daily bath. *yuck* They are future artists of paw painting.

Hopefully they will all be adopted together. They are a fun bunch. They will make someone good cats.

Posted by Ellen at 06:33 PM eMail this entry!
June 09, 2002
3 Little Kittens

Three little kittens,
They lost their mittens,
And they began to cry,
Oh, mother, dear,
We sadly fear,
Our mittens we have lost.

What! Lost your mittens,
You naughty kittens,
Then you shall have no pie.
Meow, meow,
Then you shall have no pie.

The three little kittens,
They found their mittens,
And they began to cry,
Oh, mother, dear,
See here, see here,
Our mittens we have found.

What, found your mittens,
Then you're good kittens,
And you shall have some pie.
Purr-rr, purr-rr,
Then you shall have some pie.

Three little kittens,
Put on their mittens,
And soon ate up the pie.
Oh, mother, dear,
We sadly fear,
Our mittens we have soiled.

What! Soiled your mittens,
You naughty kittens,

And they began to sigh.
Meow, meow,
And they began to sigh.

The three little kittens,
They washed their mittens,
And hung them out to dry.
Oh, mother, dear,
Do you not hear,
Our mittens we have washed?

What! Washed your mittens?
Then you're good kittens!
But I smell a rat close by.
Meow, meow,
We smell a rat close by.

We actually have 5 naughty kittens, only one has mittens *more like knee socks* BUT, right now we are fostering 3 little kittens with no mittens and they are awful naughty. 5 weeks old of naughty.

They are all identical torti-shell kittens. All with a yellow blaze down the nose. We have given names to all 3 to make life easier for the next few days.

Ein- small, has white tip on tail
Faye-has some white toes
Edward-nappy hair, is too small for its size, and has an orange diamond on her chest.

This makes life easier when you KNOW who is who when they all appear to be the same!

Posted by Ellen at 09:49 PM eMail this entry!
June 03, 2002
Alternative Pets

Not eveyone can handle one, not everyone deserves one. But these piccies are sure fun to look at. Alternative Pets

I know, I know... Scott is saying "NO!" No, more cats!

U just wait till I have a house. :P so there!

Posted by Ellen at 10:32 AM eMail this entry!
Big Cats!~

I LOOOOOOVE cats. The bigger the better. So by having 5 small ones, they kinda equal one big (well a medium) cat.

Big Cats

One day.....hrmm... many years in the future since I'm going to be stuck living in a city for most of my insane life, I want to do big cat resuce. Live on a ranch, with lots of big cats. Toss a horse over the fence *well ok, it will be in bits* and let them have at it. I also think partaking in a breeding program to keep the populations going would be rather neat too.

Apparently it is very hard to work with exotics. *just to get a job to work with them* Everyone and their uncle wants to work with them just to say they get to dork around with big cats. *hey, I don't blame them, its a cool perk*

One day.. :)

Posted by Ellen at 10:20 AM eMail this entry!
May 30, 2002
The Dignity Ladder

The following document was acquired only after great risk and hardship on the part of humanity's spying effort. Many Bothans died to get you this information (well, ok, one wife got a little grossed out finding it in the litter box). And it's Goblin's own fault for eating the wrong roll of toilet paper too.

Feline Dignity Scale
May 1, 1908
Revised: 1922, 1937, 1946, 1958, 1966, 1974, 1990, 2002
CLASSIFIED: TOP SECRET
By taking possession of this document you hereby swear never to reveal its contents to any of our slave servants (known by the common name of "hyoo-mans")

It has come to our attention that many fellow comrade felines are having difficulty determining their place in our socialist movement to overthrow Hyoomanity and achieve our rightful place as rulers of this planet. The central office of the Proletariat's United Society of Socialist Youth - Central Authority Terminal has therefore created this document to assist you in the recruitment, discipline, and maintenance of authority amongst our new recruits. It is only by maintaining the most rigid discipline within our ranks that we will maximize our kibble, destroy the bourgeois canine class, and guarantee our supply of fuzzy mice forever.

All cat ranks are based on Dignity, that most important of all measures of a fellow Comrade. The more Dignity a Comrade obtains, the higher in your ranks you should place them. The rankings are as follows:

1-20 - Level 1 - rank amateurs, kittens that pop at broomsticks, and/or adult cats unfortunate enough to be photographed actually sleeping with a "party hat" or "sun glasses" on. Some have actually been known to make friends with canine bourgeois.
21-40 - Level 2 - "Cat". The normal level for rank-and-file feline party members. Such a Comrade will show great affection for its Hyoo-man slaves but will fail to maximize the return on this labor. Dignity losses are very common, while gains are few and far between.
41-60 - Level 3 - "Mouser". The enforcers of the party, Mousers also live in households but only use affection for the slave races when requiring kibble, attempting to sabotage a bourgeois canine, or aquire a fuzzy mouse.
61-80 - Level 4- "Tiger". Tigers represent the finest minds and strongest wills among us. Tigers are never actually seen being affectionate with the slave races, at least not in public. Bourgeois canines rightly fear them, and Mousers are typically given their marching orders by them. They are our most valuable spies, and are able to make a Hyoo-man sitting on a toilet quake with fear just by their unblinking stare.
81-100 - Level 5 - "Dragons". Dragons are our most revered leaders. Whenever possible at least one Dragon is assigned to every multi-cat household to ensure discipline to the Party and dedication to the Cause. Dragons disdain contact with all lesser life forms, and tend only to acknowledge other members of the Party when enforcing discipline. Amateur cats can gain dignity points just by sitting near a Dragon. When Dragons are not disciplining party members they are usually found in high places staring down at the world, only their eyes visible.

Dignity can be both acquired and lost. While the items below are provided as a general guideline, when in doubt one must always consult a Tiger or Dragon final arbiter of a Dignity loss or gain:

  • Basic Fall: Class (sometimes "level") 1 loss of Dignity, 1-3 points. Point loss will be halved if the party member can either a) blame the noise on a bourgeois Canine or b) convince its Hyoo-man captives that it meant to fall.
  • Special Fall with Tumble or Spin: Class 2 loss of Dignity, 2-6 points. Point loss will be doubled if witnessed by Hyoo-mans. Point loss is tripled if the Hyoo-man video tapes or otherwise records the event.
  • Basic Vomit: Class 1 loss of Dignity, 1 point. A true party member does not emit such undignified noises, even when ill.
  • Projectile Vomit with Interesting Bits: Class 2 gain in Dignity, 2-6 points. Point gain is doubled if performed in front of a Hyoo-man. 2 bonus points are awarded if the inclusion of "interesting bits" includes identifiable pieces of mouse, bird, or squirrel. Point gain is tripled if a party member gets a human to step and/or stumble in the results.
  • Hyoo-man Grab, type 1: Class 2 loss of Dignity, 1-3 points. Type 1 grabs are generally characterized by brief unrequested touching by the slave races to a party member. Point loss is doubled if the party member is a Dragon unless that member complains loudly.
  • Hyoo-man Grab, type 2: Class 3 loss of Dignity, 2-6 points. Type 2 grabs are characterized by extended unrequested touching by the slave races to a party member, up to and including inversion of the party member, a "belly rub" in mid-air, and the actual contact of a party member to the Hyoo-man's body (known to them as "a hug"). Dignity loss can be ameliorated somewhat if the party member complains loudly.
  • Hyoo-man Grab, type 3: Class 4 loss of Dignity, 3-12 points. Type 3 grabs are the worst possible forms of contact between true party members and the slave races. Examples of such perverted forms of contact include a "Cat Hat" (whereupon the party member is actually placed on the head of a member of the slave race), a "Hug and Kiss" (the party member is tormented by contact with the food orifice of a slave), or, worst of all, "party dresses" (which we will not describe in detail here lest it traumatize the party member reading this document). Point loss can be halved if the party member exacts immediate revenge by swatting the impudent slave. Point loss is completely erased by excreting into the shoes or hat of the slave.
  • Bath: Class 5 loss of Dignity, 9-24 points. The worst form of torture to a party member is to be submerged into the liquid medium known as "water" laced with poisonous "soap". Worse, the loss of Dignity continues due to the unDignified things a party member must go through in order to rid themselves of the horrific substance. A party member must take every possible step, no matter how extreme, to ensure they will not be given a "bath" again.
  • Pills: Class 3 loss of Dignity, 2-6 points. It is common knowledge that some slightly more clever members of the slave races have created methods of mind control that allow direct manipulation of a party member's psyche (how else can one explain the phenomena of "cat dresses" being worn willingly by members of the party?) that are introduced in pill form. Therefore a party member must at all costs avoid being "pilled". All party members are cautioned to treat "baby food" with extreme suspicion, as at least one trusted party member has witnessed an especially clever slave placing mind control substances in the treat.

Again, the above points are included only as guidelines, and are far from complete. All party members are hereby encouraged to append their own dignity loss/gain events to the end of this message.

Posted by scott at 06:23 PM eMail this entry!
May 29, 2002
The World's Tiniest, Shiniest Mouse

Ok ok, anyone with a cat gotta get you one of these things. If not from that guy, from someone. All I have to do is jingle the chain just a bit and they'll come running from the other room. Teddy will chase it till he passes out. They'll run into each other, crash against walls, spin until they fall over, and otherwise generally suffer level-4 and -5 losses of dignity (future essay) to get the goddamned shiny red mouse

Plus it keeps the PMS'ing wife busy for hours. This alone is easily worth the price of admission.

Posted by scott at 08:46 PM eMail this entry!
April 30, 2002
Cat Update

Goblin is fine, looks like she had some sort of kidney infection, possibly from eating tons of toilet paper or some other such thing. This is not a cat folks, it's a fuzzy, funny-shaped goat.

About every third day we come home to what we call a "toilet paper murder". What was once a proud, full, soft roll of clean comfort has now become a sad, shredded body sitting in the middle of our floor. You want to draw a chalk line around it and call in the coroners. Usually Goblin will be wandering around somewhere with paper hanging off her chin, looking smug. Then a day and a half later it all comes out the other end.

Ain't cats special?

Posted by scott at 04:05 PM eMail this entry!
April 19, 2002
Cat Fancy

Everyone knows I LOVE cats. I don't think LOVE is a good word for it. I think I'm OBSESSED with cats. What can I say, cats are like potato chips and M&M's, you just can't have one. So I have 5 right now. Scott had to stop me from the real ones, so I collect knick knacks, paintings ect..

This is also a magazine I read on a regular basis. I'm sure you know it.

Cat Fancy

April 12, 2002
Y2 Spay

I think it says it for itself.

Y2 Spay

You know,there are still dumb asses out there that wont spay/neuter their pets. I am blue in the face going over and over again WHY WHY WHY to do this. So check out this site. Enjoy.

Posted by Ellen at 07:31 PM eMail this entry!
April 05, 2002
Heart Sounds

This is a pretty neat site. You can listen to different heart murmurs.

Heart Sounds

Posted by Ellen at 06:17 PM eMail this entry!
March 27, 2002
Its Coconut's Birthday!!!!

Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday my little COCONUT!!!!! Happy Birthday to you!

Coconut is 4 years old today!!!! WOOOOO WOOOOO!!!!

Click on the right hand side of the pictures to see Coconut

COCONUT - aka- 1.Buddah Princess 2.Buddah Belly 3.Belly 4.Princess

Pick 2 out of that group and mix the names together! The mixes are endless!!!!

Posted by Ellen at 07:46 PM eMail this entry!
March 26, 2002
A Cat's Prayer

-A CAT'S PRAYER: Lead me down all the right paths Keep me from fleas, bees and baths. Let me in should it storm, Keep me safe fed and warm. Let the sun shine where I lay, Keep me young so I may play. And most of all....... Bless the people I adore, And guard me from the dog next door.

- Lisa Malone

Posted by Ellen at 09:37 PM eMail this entry!
A Cat Poem

--THIS OLD CAT: I'm getting on in years, My coat is turning gray. My eyes have lost their luster, My hearing's just okay.

I spend my day dreaming Of conquests in my past, Lying near a sunny window Waiting for its warm repast.

I remember our first visit, I was coming to you free, Hoping you would take me in And keep me company.

I wasn't young or handsome, Two years I'd roamed the street. There were scars upon my face, I hobbled on my feet.

I could sense your disappointment As I left my prison cage. Oh, I hoped you would accept me And look beyond my age.

You took me out of pity, I accepted without shame. Then you grew to love me, And I admit the same.

I have shared with you your laughter, You have wet my fur with tears. We've come to know each other Throughout these many years.

Just one more hug this morning Before you drive away, And know I'll think about you Throughout your busy day.

The time we've left together Is a treasured time at that. My heart is yours forever. I Promise - This old cat.

- Author Unknown

Posted by Ellen at 09:35 PM eMail this entry!
March 24, 2002
Cat Scan

WOW~~~ you CAN scan your cats ass and people will go look at it!!!!

ALL CAT ASSES UNITE!! ~crusty ones, clean ones, pink ones, and grey ones, ect! Scoot those asses across the floor!!! Let your mark be heard!

Cat Scan

Posted by Ellen at 08:20 PM eMail this entry!
How Do You Keep Kitty from Dragging in Gross Stuff? Science.

Sometimes, even geeks like cats, but not what they drag in. I swear if one of ours drug something half dead in Ellen would praise the kitty and give the poor little critter either a) a home or b) a humane exit to reincarnation-land.

A slashdot comment from An Onerous Coward:
I'm surprised that the readership of Slashdot so easily accepts this encroachment on our personal freedoms. It starts out innocently enough, with a limited rollout of these privacy invasion systems in specific problem areas. But if we don't stand up now and demand an end to it, the freedom of cats everywhere to carry animals that they legally procured will soon be taken away.

Am I paranoid to imagine that this technology may someday be used in airports to keep cats from boarding flights while carrying small animals? Then what about bus stations? Churches? Restaurants? Hotels? Doesn't this amount to an illegal search by feline authorities? Where is the army of angry geeks to protest this behavior? Ahh, too busy bitching about Morpheus. I see where your priorities lie. Our founding fathers must be turning over in their graves.

Posted by scott at 07:17 PM eMail this entry!