July 26, 2004
The Great Mouse Chronicles, part the third

Folks, here's the last (well, until another mouse makes it in the house) of the Mouse Chronicles. Note that it does feature Garrison, who is bio'd a bit further down this page.

Okay, here we are again. Amber and I’ve just returned from our normal weekend shopping trips. After everything is put away, I run off to visit the great white throne. All of a sudden, in mid, well, uhmmm, push, I hear a blood-curdling scream. Since I’m kind of stuck, I decide to wait and see if there’s another scream. I do keep hearing, “Let go. Let Go. LET IT GO!!!!!” Then another blood-curdling “SWEETIE PIE!” So, without any, uhmmm, clean-up time, I go running out to see what in the hell is going on (I’m figuring that one of the pets has ingested something poisonous and that without my running out there, they’re going to die. So, after running out I see Amber holding Garrison down – and the cell phone is lying next to them.

Apparently what has happened is that Amber calls Ellen. She then (as Amber can’t just talk on the phone – there must be talking and cleaning) goes into the pantry to grab the broom. Garrison then dove headfirst, much like an Olympic diver, into the pantry. She tries to grab him, but of course, it’s hard to grab 16 pounds of kitty on a mission, especially with just one hand. However, she does grab him. All Amber can see at this point is the mouse’s tail hanging out of Garrison’s mouth – and he’s got a death grip on the thing. She hangs up on Ellen and attempts to get the mouse out, and trying with all her strength to pry his jaws of death open, he relents and lets go. The mouse then makes a beeline to the refrigerator.

This is the point were I finally make my entrance, shorts around my knees (and it isn’t easy to move this way, mind you…). After a quick synopsis, I’m given permission to go and finish taking care of business.

I then return to the kitchen and we formulate a plan. I’ll pull out the fridge and keep the determined kitties out of the kitchen. Amber will jump behind the fridge and snag the mouse (at least I didn’t have a suitcase and suit-wearing mouse dream to deal with this time…). So, the plan is simple. Flawed, but simple.

I successfully get the fridge out and we find the mouse under there. After a few attempts, he comes sprinting out and runs along the floor of the kitchen next to the cabinets where I could snag him. So, I’m trying to get a towel on him when he, much to dismay of Isaac Newton and the laws of inertia, manages to flip around without loosing any momentum and sprint back at Amber, whose stuck kneeling in the hole the fridge sits in. From there, he proceeds to run under her legs. Amber is squealing like a 3rd grade girl with a frog in her pants while trying to snag the little guy. She keeps grabbing and he keeps getting away. Well, after about 10 seconds of this, the mouse gets the idea that a safe thing to do would be to run up Amber’s leg, then down the calf and hide in her flip-flop – while it’s still on her foot. The squealing has now reached epic proportions. There is a bit more squealing, squirming, and then Amber has him. Sort of. He then has the temerity to bite her (didn’t break the skin, no shots needed) which does get him about 3.5 seconds of additional freedom.

Finally, he’s snagged and successfully balled up in a paper towel and a kitchen towel. We take him out to the field, check him to make sure he wasn’t bitten half to death by Garrison, and then the required “ohmygodit’ssocuteihavetotouchit” comes out, the mouse is petted, touched, and otherwise frightened to death, and released. He hops through the grass and heads for the hills.

After later inspection, we find out that the little bastards have eaten a hole in the wall of the pantry and that’s how they’re getting in. Amber has great plans of me patching this with something that’ll prevent more intrusions. However, considering the pure amusement level that I’m getting, I suspect it’ll be awhile…

Posted by ron at July 26, 2004 06:08 AM

eMail this entry!

Great story. Maybe you should place little pick-axes in the hole before it gets patched up so you can hve more amusement in the future.

Posted by: Steve on July 28, 2004 09:33 AM
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