September 24, 2002
The Magic Of Cat

I'm sorry, but I have to make a full blown comment/story to Scott's whining about my cats. :) I'm sure I will get in trouble for it.

Scott says he will *simply not tolerate* a cat box next to his computer. Oh well, get over it. We have 900 sq. ft. right now and it's shrinking due to the packing of boxes. If you don't know by now, Scott always bitches about my cats. But it's OK to have computer guts all over the house. (that the cats will eventually vomit, shit or piss on it out of spite-my minions please me well)

The magic of being owned by a cat comes with the box, even if it's a colorful splash of stuff you don't want to hear or smell.

Cats vomit on the rug. Hey, it's a present for you. If not, another cat will come along and eat it for you or you will simply step in it and HAVE to clean it up right away.

I should also mention that when Ted nearly shot his skinny little ass out of the box with sharp stream of diarrhea, Scott was holding his nose and crying and carrying on like he usually does. *does the Scott stomp which consists of stamping a foot, and doing this body jerk* He then gets up and sprays air freshener at the box. Does he change it? NO. He calls me. "Ellen!!! Teddy did a stinky in the box!!!!!!"

So we are getting ready to move into a new house. My cats are very stressed out, which is perfectly understandable. Not to Scott. He thinks when they sit down to eat their dinner they should all tuck napkins in their fur and dantily wipe their lips with it when they are done. Cause cats are dainty and elegant. (ever see 5 cats nearly stampede a small human opening a can of cat food? It's like they have NEVER seen food EVER. A most frightening experience done 2x's per day.)

Not mine. They are rude, smelly at times and LOVE to vomit on que. If you have not figured out the Dragon Report, all of thier P.U.S.S. names all consist of their vomit noise. (Goblin being the most creative)

So he bitches about my cats. What happens when there is an actual other human in the house? Then what?

Now don't get me wrong, Scott likes my cats. They love him. He likes to piss Magrat off. She likes to smack him as he walks by. Goblin loves to sit on his shoulder, Coconut loves to sit on his chest (which he will COMPLAIN about, but he is the one who TAUGHT her that when she was a tiny kitten to calm her down. It's her safety zone) Ted just spreads love and a smelly box, while Ajax, is well, Ajax.

Oh yeah, did I mention that when the cats are bad, they are mine. But when we talk of the cats they are ours? Hmmm....

Now don't assume Scott is a jerk for being anti-cat. He is only like that when they shit, piss or vomit or step on stuff they aren't supposed to ..blah ..blah..blah.. the list is endless. But he loves my cats. I know he does. He has no choice, cause he lives with me. :)

Posted by Ellen at September 24, 2002 08:44 PM

eMail this entry!

E. This is really more information than I needed. What happened to Scott the Master Plumber you were talking about just minutes ago. LOL

Posted by: Pat on September 24, 2002 10:43 PM

Very funny and keen observation...

Posted by: Dave Worley on September 25, 2002 09:27 AM
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