I need to go bleach my eyes.
In a way, I'm surprised it's taken this long for someone to re-engineer the Real Doll. This time with "anime goodness," although I must say I don't really see a strong resemblance. I do still get the same heebie-jeebies looking at one. Yours, for only $7500! Whatta bargain!
Smoke em' if you got em'?
That's right, PRICASSO not PICASSO.
Look Ron! Start a new hobby!
NSFW. Funny though! Watch it at home!
Just like American Idol only,l XXX!
...taken way too far.
That's right peeps! XXX! That means NSFW!!!
Those of you wondering what the recently opened adult theme park in the UK might look like need wonder no more. Pictures of an "adult" theme park. Filed under "naughty bits." On a Sunday. Can you say "NSFW?" Thought you could...
Guess the real or the 'designer' vagina!
In no way shape or form is this work safe! What did I say kiddies? NWS!!!!!!!
...but I was wrong.
Finally the pixes all the men out there were looking for! Brittany's snatch!
NSFW of course.
The beauty of a long vacation weekend is I get to look for things like this. If they brought it to the US, I think the results would be the same.
I was about to say, "except for my case, because I'd be dead." However nowadays Ellen would probably be the one holding the sign. And flipping people off. Gotta have standards, ya know.
Filed under "naughty" because of boobies, but the clip is otherwise simply hilarious.
A few people get together to critique sex dolls.
Oh yeah, these are the inflatable ones. Not the scary Love Dolls that look like corpses.
Usta always wonnah wha' i' was 'bout Ali G. Now no' oly do ah tahp a bahd Jamaica accent, rhespec, ah link hup dah vidyoh.
The wonders of having a day off...
Why someone would make a website dedicated to this is beyond me.
This is just wrong!
And I though Scott's bike shorts were too tight.
Make your own popcorn well, you know...
I did not know they could come this big.
I don't think I would want to use this.
The Vagina Lady. No really! She is out there!
Fun site, you must see the pictures!
Funny as hell for all Star Wars fans! Labled under XXX due to ads.
For you fans of the Naked News! Now you can check out the bloopers!
Richie gets a very pornish No-prize with the latest video game for adults only!
Thing is, she's actually slightly more animated than most porn chicks. Which is why, I suppose, I'm not all that "in" to most porn.
Woot! Scott got a naughty bit! Scott got a naughty bit!
More of those strange penis stretching exercises! Now on video!
Scott: "Now thats what I call choking the chicken."
Do you think your sister would get pissed off if I brought this to your bridal luncheon?
As much as I like watermelon, I will not be doing anything like this .
Why waste a perfectly good watermelon!
I found this tidbit this morning.
Why someone needs to dedicate an entire FAQ to Strap-On's is beyond me.
This is more of a weird and F'up page, BUT due to the nature of the material and being NSFW I put it under XXX.
Someone please tell me this is not true!
For you prudes out there...there are NO naughty pixes. It's an Amazon link.
Learn how to spank people with a brush! Then upgrade to spatulas, ping-pong paddles, belts, and other various household items!
No No... This is not a personal review. Sue Jo from Talk Sex recommends the book!
They are at it again!
Note the sleek ergonomic arm rests and faux leather seats...
Visions of Eden?
At least they could have painted her butt crack!
Fetish gym equipment.
The entire site is weird!
Yes, they even make Transformers have sex. What else will the nerds think of!?!
Convince a woman to have anal sex.
FYI... this won't work, OK guys.
Funny, yet not work safe!
It's now official: you really can buy absolutely anything on Amazon.com. Being on vacation means not having to say you're sorry for goofy naughty links!
I bet you have never seen gingerbread men do this stuff!
I will never look at puppets the same way again!
Look it's live anime!
For adults only.
How to make your own pumpkin dildo.
Can you say "Trick or Treat!"
Toys for him.
NSFW, NSFH, MAY POTENTIALLY BURN YOUR EYES, MAY INDUCE VOMITING...
NSFW! This can also be classified as Weird and F'd up.
Learn the "art" (according to the site it's an art- I would classify it as extreme body modification) of labial stretching.
Found especially for Ron.
Double your pleasure, double your fun.
NSFW!!!!!!!! Severely F'd Up!
My eyes!!! My eyes!!!
I'm actually watching NOVA right now. Trying to be intellectual and stuff and surf the net at the same time when I came across this.
Not good. Not good.
What would you do if your kid came out of your bedroom thinking this was a magic wand?
What do you say? "No, no sweetie! We don't play Harry Potter with THAT wand!"
MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!!
Ok, this is not right.
The Original Venus was designed to hide the male genitalia while providing an ultra realistic outer appearance. The Original Venus allows for body cavity penetration.
NSFW!!!!!! If you do watch this at work, wear a HEADSET!
Joshua found her for you at some intergalactic space station.
Baking for the unusual person in your life.
XXX due to content, not naughty pixes. I would say NSFW.
What the hell is this?
IF lightning flies out of my butt, sex would not be the first thing on my mind.
When vampires(ones that don't have buck teeth) and computer geeks have too much time to play with photoshop. This is a good laugh.
For you men out there that like to smell used panties.
Now you can buy them online!
Or you can just go to Japan and buy them from a vending machine.
Not your typical personal training session.
It's a funny cartoon. NSFW
Well, its' not really XXX, but you will have to see it for yourself.
Oh yeah, don't forget to get tested for syphilis.
Complete with a mini movie!
A while back Shockwave asked South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker to make two short animated flash films for them. Although the creators had warned Shockwave that they would deliver a cartoon with no holds barred, Shockwave insisted on having them make it. So, they did! And "Princess" was the result. See why Shockwave never aired them . . .
Warning. Extremely offensive content.
See the first episode here.
Check out the second episode here.
NSFW due to PrOn Ads
Just about every guy has thought about becoming a Porn Star at one time or another… and the majority of girls have, too. For some it’s a fleeting thought, for others it’s a fantasy, and some just wonder if they’d be good enough. And then there are those who really want to get into Porn, but they don’t have a clue about how to get into “Porn City”.
Find out how!
Remember Bill the singing wall bass? Now you can get a singing dong.
Fun for the entire family of 18 and over!
Learn via DVD how to pole dance.
This is for my brother, Rich.
Read at your own risk. NSFW!!
NSFW due to contents.
Get back at that person you hate in your life.
In case you can keep your grip.
Learn how to do some S&M rope tying.
I wonder if you get rope burn from it, and how do you explain that the next day at work?
ALL of the sex positions you will ever need!
Filed under XXX due to boobies!
Tired of wearing bras? Can't stand the underwire biting into your skin? Sick of throwing the twins over your shoulders?
Fear not! AMCGLTD. brings you this!
Start defying gravity today!
Get fitted for a custom fit condom!
Don't want condoms? How about some dirty dice ?
Check out the site! Sue Johanson recommened it! (Talk Sex and The Sunday Night Sex Show)
For all of you out there who did not get to see Janet Jackson's boob.
Scott and I were at Amber's for the pee party* on the cats and watching the Super Bowl. Everything was going great, both men drank themselves silly, until Scott jumps up and points at the T.V.
Scott: " BOOBIES!!!!!!"
Ron: "Boobies?" WHERE!?
Scott: "Yes!! Her boob fell out of her top! It flopped out!"
Needless to say, it was a funny moment. All Amber and I did was roll our eyes and hunt down the next cat for pee.
All at the touch of your finger! The vibe requires no batteries, as it runs off the user's computer. A USB cable to connect the vibe to your computer is included, no software is needed for the device to run.
Wait!! Don't forget to read the consumer reviews!
I was so surprised when we plugged it into my laptop. It’s great! The different vibration settings mean I can change the buzz it gives my button in a flash.Get your BlissBox today!
I came and came and came.
If the US would show condom ads like this, I think there'd be a definite drop in teen pregnancy rates
Note: Very unsafe for work, for a variety of reasons.
From Carrie, who gets a vintage No-Prize, brings us Retro Raunch. Your one stop for classy vintage pixes.
From the makers of Clone Your BoneTM, now you can Match Your Snatch.
The Match Your Snatch™ kit comes complete with:
* specially designed casting cup,
* special fast-casting mix,
* a rainbow of color chips,
* a magnet,
* and easy, fun instructions.
Sex positions for use in your car!
Ring yourself and put your phone in your hand to test the strength of your phone's vibrations. VibraSMS are shaped to conduct the vibrations from your phone as strongly as possible. Remember that the area VibraSMS is designed for is more sensitive than other bodyparts!
See girls using them! (adults only!)
Get yer phone cover here
I'd bet you'd think next time you ask to borrow a friends phone that set on vibrate.
A doll only my brother could love.
Well, actually the site shows you how to make your own dildo .
Be Creative! Make a cast of your wink for posterity!
This is just not right.
Either this chick needs some Nair or a lawn mower. Hirsuitism at the most extreme. Imagine what the shower drain looks like.
" Rubber Duckie, you're the one, You make bathtime lots of fun, Rubber Duckie, I'm awfully fond of you; (woh woh, bee doh!) Rubber Duckie, joy of joys, When I squeeze you, you make noise! Rubber Duckie, you're my very best friend, it's true! (doo doo doo doooo, doo doo) CHORUS: Every day when I Make my way to the tubby I find a little fella who's Cute and yellow and chubby (rub-a-dub-a-dubby!) R ubber Duckie, you're so fine And I'm lucky that you're mine Rubber duckie, I'm awfully fond of you. (repeat chorus) Rubber Duckie, you're so fine And I'm lucky that you're mine Rubber duckie, I'm awfully fond of - Rubber duckie, I'd like a whole pond of - Rubber duckie I'm awfully fond of you! (doo doo, be doo.) "
And you thought rubber duckies were just a kid's toy.
All I have to say is OUCH!!!!!
Men are extra stoopid!
Remember when I told you all about these ?
Remember when I told you to go a put your name in on the site to win a free pair of nipple jewelry? OK, well today in my mail box was a tiny box. And inside that tiny box was my very own pair of Nipple Huggers!
Not only that, I am on their website as the weekly winner. Pretty neat huh?
What are you waiting for!? Go to that site! Enter the contest! You may just win your own pair.
Bikers. Chicks. Magazines. 80s style. Advertisements.
Did anyone ever actually buy any of that stuff?
This is from my brother, Richie.
July 17, 2003 -- GET ready to see even more of porn queen Jenna Jameson. The world's biggest "adult actress" will be the subject of an E! "True Hollywood Story," and Times music writer Neil Strauss is ghosting her autobiography. Jameson, who lives with boyfriend Justin Sterling in Scottsdale, Ariz., dishes to Paper magazine about former flings Tommy Lee ("too affectionate for me") and Marilyn Manson ("so smart and interesting") - and says she currently has the hots for Justin Timberlake and Matthew McConaughey, the latter of whom "probably thinks I'm a stalker."
Though I will be honest, I do own porn with Jenna in them. (OMG! yes! I own XXX movies- how else can one pop in a DVD for their husband, look at your watch an say "ok, be back in 10 minutes for ya, just got to clean the kitchen a bit!")
As for my brother, he says this. "Give me a no prize for this. I've met Jenna, she's a sweetheart, give her some more exposure."
Ok, a XXX No-Prize to Rich!
A brunette ALL computer geeks out there would love to get a bit virtual with.
*Under XXX due to the dental floss bikini*
Scott and I are currently playing Outlaw Golf and Outlaw Volleyball. One of the things that we have noticed is that one of our favorite characters, Summer, who is a stripper gets raunchier with each game.
My brother, Richie led us to this site. Apparently Summer is taken off of a real person.
Not only that, the site has recipies, a "Dear Summer" section, movies, and of course, music.
A string bikini No-Prize to Rich!
Here is the latest toy tested out by Sue Johansens crew on Oxygen's Talk Sex.
This vibrator will really bug you! The Clitterbug is extremely powerful, and you can apply the "head" or "feet" to any sensitive areas on your body (or your lover's). This toy is 7" long, and features multi-speed vibration.
~ This toy is TRASH according to Sue. Don't get it. Though the thing reminds me of that game that you have to build the bugs out of plastic bits.
Under XXX due to the porn pop-ups
This was too funny to pass up.
Pictures not good enough for you in that enourmous "coffee table" book (who the hell leaves that book out on the coffee table)?
Now you can take a look at the animated version of the Kama Sutra. Complete with detailed instructions!
This is linked under XXX due to the extreme sexual content. So I say this once, NSFW!!! (not safe for work)- at all!
Thanks to DocBlogulus, you get the XXX f'd up no-prize of the day.
A nice long list of what men should and should not do whilst having sex with the significant other.
Only reason this is under XXX is due to all those naughty pop up ads!
*if you know your cat stuff, you should get the 'barb' joke*
Ever since I saw House of 1000 Corpses by Rob Zombie, I have hated clowns more than ever (fried chicken is even crossed off my list).
This is a bit more disturbing.
No naughty pixes here! But it's about a porn star that my brother met! (Scott get the picture up already!!)
Exerpt: "Porn star Ron Jeremy got caught with his pants down and arrested after a 20-year-old woman claimed he assaulted her in a Michigan striptease club. ... Jeremy was arrested at his hotel and spent Friday night in jail. He was released the following morning at a bond hearing."
No XXX here, but it has something to do with boobies!
Of course, I cannot afford a house keeper, but I'm sure Scott would find the way to get the money to get one of these girls to clean the house.
Hey, as long as the house got cleaned.
Well, ok, it's not naughty. But it has to do with sex , so I had to catagorize it under naughty.
This is for my good friend Damion who sent this to me a week ago. Apparently the site was down last week and I was unable to link it up a that time.
Not for eyes that are easily offended ok?
The site speaks for itself! Go check it out. Lots of useful information and of course, t-shirts, pictures ect...
Considering some new kind of jewelry for those extra large piercing holes created for corks and other large impliments? Why not try this out for size.
There are no words for this .
Everyone thank Scott for the link!
No, this is not about Spring, Summer, Winter, Fall, it's about SEX!
Computertized sex! On condoms! That look like SIMS!
20 positions in all to click and and ogle at!
It's not XXX, BUT it has boobies on it!! So all men should rush to this site and LOOK!
This has been an old joke between me and Mellie for a long time.
I remember seeing this 'toy' on a Real Sex episode on HBO.
How cute is this ?
Though, I don't know if I could use this as a vibrator or a cat toy?
Thanks to Damion for the great title!
This is for the nurses that have requested more naughty stuff from AMCGLTD.
Sue Johanson and her crew tried out this product on sunday.
Accordoing to the site, "great sex is all about angles".
One problem with this kind of toy. Since they look like furniture, I don't think you will be able to hide them under the bed.
One BIG shift stick
Both Scott and I took about 3 minutes before we came to our conclusion.
Ever want a spiced up gummy snack ?
Now you get can gummy dongs, gummy cock rings, and gummy vibrators.
All I can say is "sticky".
~make sure you watch the animated movies!
Not quite naughty, not quite nice, these "optical illusion" paintings only look like porn from a distance. Up close they're just weird splotches (no, not those kind of splotches). Another variation of the "magazine covers turning into pictures" kind of thing I guess.
I will never look at Spiderman the same way again.
According to this company, they can make spooge delicious! *vomit*
An exerpt from their ad:
"Mmmm!" she said, her eyes widening in surprise as she swallowed. "You're... delicious!" She swallowed again, deeply. With a little laugh, she shook her head in disbelief. "It's actually almost sweet! I could really get used to this." A wicked smile crept across her face. "More?" she purred.
Suurree....*gag* I don't think so. Only starting at $24.95
Still, you got to check out the site. They even go into detail on the history of cum guzzling! A history lesson NOT taught in school! (well not in class anyway.)
* OK..I KNOW we are going to get a huge traffic spike because I used the word 'cum guzzling'. - Men are PIGS!
Very well-endowed weenie babies.
XXX No-Prize to Maru!
Now mind you, it's SHITTY beer. But Scott wanted me to post this up for all pigs out there to ogle over.
Yep, time for all you ladies out there to keep track of the household tissues and towels in the house.
To you men out there, enjoy, and don't go killing kittens*.
* Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten. --FARK (this is why I don't believe in god)
Little. Yellow. Absorbant.
Ok, it's obviously a XXX night!
Still, this picture makes you look twice!
All Scott could say is "Yeah! OK!
Ok, its NOT that naughty people!
But it sure is a priceless moment!
Scott sent me this. NO! It does not mean he wants me to buy one! He just wanted you perves to get a XXX fix!
Though, this tells me this is NOT the kind of jewelry to get your girl/guy for the holiday.
The Japanese can think of the weirdest stuff. Only mildly raunchy, no nudity, but it's noisy and we haven't had a naughty bit in awhile (ELLEN).
For all the men out there, I'm sure you have been wondering what Jessica looked like sans the sparkly dress!
Scott and his buddies at college in Arkansas actually DID this one winter.
It took me a visit to Arkansas in the winter to realize they actually get snow!
But, when I look at this picture, I can't see Scott doing something like it.
Have your cake and eat it too!!!
This guy does have a big dick.
Don't pay to look at it. You get an eyeful just with the window piccies.
Ok, ok, enough with the updating! Still, I just couldn't let this one go by. What happens when you combine booze, dumbass freshmen, and a bic lighter?
It'll take a little while to download for those of you with dial-up connections, but trust me, well worth it, well worth it.
Update: If it doesn't work, visit Weirdlinks.com to see the original. Scroll down a bit, you'll find it.
I will never ever look at eggs the same way again.
Especially the brown eggs.
I KNOW my ladies at the Arkansas VA will enjoy this!
I have been neglecting you all. The house has obviously taken up so much of my time that I have not been able to put up a XXX quickie in a while (heh, get it? quickie?) Nevermind.
I have decided to give you all a BUNCH of them this time around. ENJOY!
Of course they are from my most favorite sick ass site. :)
Found this on the CLIX thing. Its a Sex Blog.
Got a question about sex? Ask the sex advice expert- NINA!
Yeah ok, it's an 'adult themed' site, run by a character by the name "Neo".
No, I looked over it, it's just not porn. There is more to it. Hey! You can learn modeling tips! Music to screw by, ect..
Check it out.
Make sure you CHECK the package before you buy it.
You find something like this. Japanese artist. Why am I not surprised?
Found via the Reverse Cowgirl's Blog, a blog "wherein a writer attempts to justify the enormity of her porn collection". Definitely an unusual lady. :)
Nothing like a nice potassium filled bannana to start your day.
~/Do your nuts hang low, do they wobble to and fro. Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you hang a large beer keg off of them?/~
What do you see?
This one is definitely not safe for work (especially if you don't have headphones), but I defy you not to laugh out loud at it. Extremely funny.
Ok, I remember an old folk *medieval*about WHY men did not like the idea of fooling around with a woman's "chachi". This must of been the reason.
See! I can find naughty bits too! Very funny, very weird. Somebody has too much time on their hands.
No piccies here, but what an interesting thing to do with your privates. !!!!
Apparently there is a puppet show that 2 men put on with thier do-dads.
Thanks to Lynn Unleashed!! You get the XXX No- Prize!
Ok, this is more funny than naughty. BUT, it has pictures of 'parts' and god forbid if I don't inform you all :)
Ever see the pic of the so called "green man" etched on the side of the mountain?
They have decided that he needs to wear one of these.
Ok...now this is a bit much, don't ya think???
Well, maybe every man wishes a woman would do this to him.
Real or not?
No, there isn't a pix*but there is a d/l for a video!*, but its STILL naughty! Fr-ooze Pop
Oh yeah! A VERY suggestive lollipop, that is phallic in shape. Get this, when you squeeze the end of it, you get this ooze that *drips* from the top. Yeah, when I saw the video I thought it looked all to familiar. * I did not say that* Just think of the potential 'money shot' this candy can do! Plus it tastes better. *shit..I'm just digging a hole for myself*
Thanks to Maru, YOU get the ultimate No-Prize of the day! :)
I scored a 100% on this test. Scott a measly 70%. HAHA!! I can spot silicon from a mile away! :)
ps. You guys will like to just look at boobies.
We all KNOW that proper southern ladies send stuff to you like this. Thats SOME shoe!!! I think I have a pair that looks quite similar. I won't ever look at them the same way again. And NO Scott says he WON'T try them on!
My southern Mama also recommends this air conditioning service. Guaranteed to make you have....well, look at the link.
I will NEVER look at a golf ball the same way again.
Come to think of it. I may never look at a whank the same again. *shudder*
Everybody join in!
I love suncatchers. Especially if they have cats on them.
I was dorking on Ebay this morning and came across this.
Odd right?? Question is, would you put it on a window?????
Of course its the weekend, and I have a special set of groupies that LOOOVE to look at XXX on the weekend. :)
How bout a bike like this ladies!???
You get the 'no prize' of the day!!!
Apparently, if you look at the pix close enough (don't worry, it wont poke your eye out) the guy is weighing it. Rather scary.....
NO! I have not, nor do intend to try this move out!
Just when you thought scuba diving was only to check out fish and stuff.
You can actually put your diving license to good use!
Check out sunken ships! Discover exotic fish and coral! Have SEX when done looking!
Check both of them out. They are rather funny. SmackTalk is not a graphic site whatsoever...kind of a personal soap box. Improvisation is not naughty either..but since it talks about porn, I have to rate it in the XXX spot.
Courtesy of Mellie. Mellie, your no-prize will be waiting for you when you get home. :)
Maru is our very first AMCGLTD.COM no-prize winner with this submission:
The National Organization of Genitalia Confrontation held their annual nude olympics in Minnesota on Monday. The oddest, and most painful looking, event was the tug of war competition.
Definitely one the nurses will want to look at. Thanks maru! :)
Scott would probably want one of these for his beer.
Real or fake???
This is not a funny pix. Though Scott has peed on Goblin's head many times during the night when she stuck her head in the toilet while he was using it.
What gets me, not only is he peeing on a cat..but in a tub?? Ok, we know this guy pisses in the shower now. PLUS he has got a super small wank!!!!!!
As a request for more naughty bits!
For those of you that are too drunk and need directions.
This is priceless. You KNOW what it is, you KNOW whats it's for, so why try to hide what it REALLY is.
Don't just look at it , READ the caption for the gizmo. It's priceless.
This is NOT totally naked! It's only topless. Though I DO recommend that if you are a rather well endowed girl, do not try it unless you plan to knock your self in the head with your boobs. Being found naked on a sticky mat with a head injury is not a good way to be found by friends or family. I don't think this will make the 'class' rage.
I will say that I found it on the online verision of the SUN, a tabloid. BUT there are several topless and or naked yoga vidoes you can purchase. They take those yoga sessions just as seriously as the professional wearing clothes. Like I said, I don't think it will make the class rage. Most people would want a seat in the back just to watch everyone else. :)
Remember the Fukuoku 9000 commercial? A personal pleasure device for your aching neck and shoulders? *yeah right*
Now they have the Fukuoku Glove. Apparently this one does more than your aching neck and shoulders.
And don't forget about the Fukuoku 3-Pack
Ok, this is for the person that wants to display a vibrator as a work of art.
Did I mention that it is 'functional' art?
That person has a ODD fetish. Remind me never to use clothes pins again for hanging laundry outside on a line.
Ok, this is mostly for you men out there. Yeah YOU pig! *don't worry, you won't see boobies or other fun stuff like that- that would be too easy* But its a nice teaser.
For you women out there, you are probably thinking like me. "But can she dance in it?
Most of us belly dancing chicks out there are probably like, hrmm...nice, but I would NOT use that as a costume. Well, maybe in the house, but not for a performance..yeah..thats it....
This is a sport that is just wrong in my eyes. Men, large men, very large men in diapers bumping and grinding into eachother till one gets knocked out of the ring.
When one falls, they fall very hard. Kinda like dinosaurs, the big ones. If they fell, you know a bone would break. Could this be the same for these guys???
What the hell do they eat to get that big??? A small herd of cattle?
Ever wonder what they do with extra time? Apparently they stick together.
Americans love hamburgers.
It's one of the most eaten, american past time picnic favorites. You can get them at fast food joints ect.. Its a versatile meal.
Check out the site for one AMAZING recipe!~ Yoikes!
There are other uses to car oil than just putting it in a car.
Just think! The uses are now endless!
This either happening in Denmark or these 2 are just voyeurs.
Click here to see a new version of the Vermont State Quarter
NO, its not what you think... click and see :)
Just when I thought humanity didn't get any wierder, sicker, or more twisted, I stumble across stuff like this (note: not safe for work). I've actually seen these things in Springer highlight reels... it looks for all the world like an extremely pretty corpse. It is that realistic.
Most of the time I think religious wackos are pointing their fingers in the wrong direction when they talk about "moral decline" and "sexual depravity". But, as they say, even a broken clock will tell the right time twice a day.