Fifty-second sign of the apocalypse: facial hair transplants. Meh. It's elective surgery, so (one presumes) they're paying for it out-of-pocket. Probably with their parents' money, but still. Their face, their money, who cares?

Science correspondent Miles O' Brien lost weight the wrong way. Who designs bodies like these?

Using new dating techniques, scientists have confirmed the oldest rocks yet found on Earth are in Australia. What's more, they're quite a bit older than previously thought, just 100 million years before the planet got rebooted when the Moon was formed. It indicates the planet was forming a crust much earlier than current theories predicted, and that water was present even then.

The next step on Alfa's interminable road back to the United States seems to have finally be reached. Of course, saying "there will be Alfa dealers in the US" isn't much better than saying "we will return to the US someday." But, to paraphrase a recent Top Gear episode, believing in Alfa's return is the triumph of hope over reality.

All I can say is, we definitely buck the Virginia trend here in casa Johnson. This "tween mortification moment" brought to you by the happy parents council.

An ancient manuscript which has resisted all attempts at decryption may finally be on the verge of giving up its secrets. At least it seems that it's not a hoax, so they've got that going for them.

DNA testing is underway in an attempt to find the remains of the model for Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa. Yes, a bit creepy, but also a fascinating opportunity to get a look at how 16th century nobility lived, and died. Physical anthropology is an often under-appreciated window into how our ancestors lived. Hopefully this will throw some much needed light onto the field.

Possibly the most awesome boots on the planet!

No, I personally do not own a pair of these bad boys yet, there are too many colors to choose from!

A new geological deposit that rivals the famous Burgess Shale has been found in Canada. In fact, it seems to be an extension of the Burgess formation, only it has more and better preserved fossils. Early history of life, FTW!

Scientists seem to have developed an effective antidote to one of the world's deadliest mushrooms. I cut out the middle-man and simply don't eat the things, but it's nice to know if something went extremely wrong and I ended up eating one anyway, I wouldn't be doomed.

Using new techniques, scientists have determined the Permian mass-extinction even happened 10x faster than previously thought. They've also go a more precise date as to when it happened, and some of the data is allowing them to make a more definitive tie-in to the Siberian Traps volcanic event. That's always been the #1 suspect, but the dates have never quite squared up yet. I think it's only a matter of time, though, before it all lines up.

Of all the people to get mixed up about, I can't think of a worse choice. I mean, the man is famous for holding big guns and shouting at people. Live TV win!

Coming (apparently) in October 2015: the US credit card industry will move us all to two-factor identification. We're one of, if not the, last major market to rely on swipe-and-sign systems, which--according to the article--is why credit card fraud has become such a big damned deal around here lately. I primarily use a debit card, so the only problem I see is remembering yet another g-d PIN.

The oldest footprints found outside of Africa have turned up in a muddy estuary in the UK.

I think we should start marking generations not by any fixed window of time, but by the number of times we have to explain, slowly and patiently, that socialism in general and communism in particular simply doesn't work. I'd like to think it's only the young and naive who have to be told about this, but of course that's not the case. Someone is teaching them this stuff, after all.

The more widely and earnestly socialist principals are applied, the greater the disaster.

North Korea's home-grown PC OS has transformed from a Windows clone to an OS X clone. If that doesn't blatantly confirm Windows 8 is a completely flop, I'm not sure what will.

The field of prosthetic limbs seems to be progressing nicely. Right now the prototypes remind me of something a Terminator would use. Here's to hoping for long success and better miniaturization!

Icelanders have managed to drill all the way through the Earth's crust, creating the first magma-powered geothermal energy source. I guess there are a couple of advantages to being sited on a really huge hotspot after all.