No, really, when grackles attack:

Like a scene from the horror movie "The Birds," large black grackles are swooping down on downtown Houston and attacking people's heads, hair and backs.
...
"They were just going crazy," said constable Wilbert Jue, who works at the building. "They were attacking everybody that walked by."

I guess we'll have to take up a collection to get Lair a football helmet or something.