Pamela Stonebrooke is reviewing a portrait of a former lover painted by a friend. But there's something not quite right about the nose.

"It should be more alligatorish," she says.

So begins the wacky, wonderful tale of Pamela Stonebrook, the Alien Lizard Jazz Goddess. While most people greet the thought of alien abduction with fear, Ms. Stonebrook greets it with open arms, and eventually open legs.

Sometimes these stories just sort of write themselves.