So it seems the actual next-gen home theater will be equipped with a whopping 24 separate speakers. Just what I need, another 19 cables snaking around my living room. So you heard Ellen's "yeah, no" from all the way out there, eh?
In Soviet Russia, tank sale finds you!. I swear, Mr. Customs Official, it just followed me home! Can I keep it? Please?!?
Needless to say, the homebound bovines cause "total chaos," upending furniture, scattering belongings, and generally making a mess of things.
It's not every day that you get guest like these.
Fun thing is, we've been to Murfreesburo digging for diamonds! The little water park at the diamond mine was fun too!
Spider Crawl...not on my floor.
In my house you can get exercise by jumping over the sudden cat vomit pile.
The last time we had to worry about something something like this, the "in" phone was a cordless standard. Ajax became so adept at "answering" our phone we had to put a special message explaining why we suddenly weren't answering it. Nowadays ours are too fat, old, and lazy to be much of a threat to electronics. The bird, on the other hand...
NASA's mission to Pluto just passed the half-way point on its journey to the ACTUAL PLANET, DANG YOU. I was taught 9 planets, s'my story, sticking to it. Olivia won't quite be a teenager when it arrives.
Ok, I'm calling sexism here, cos if guys were to sparkly-fy their junk and then post pictures of it on the intarwebs, the jokes would be endless. As if guys need another reason to scratch down there.
How it acts when it's started and it's below freeing outside, and then how it acts when it's started after everything's warmed up.
I actually know what causes it, and it's much better now than it was when we got the car. Turns out the stock voltage regulator (a small chip) inside the display you're looking at has poor performance when it gets below about 50F, which causes it to fritz in the way you see here. I soldered in a vastly improved regulator, but used instructions from a guy in California. The chip he spec'd works great right down to 32F, but not below, hence it'll still misbehave on really cold mornings.
It's just the display acting up, and so the car runs fine. Italian electronics at their finest!
Scientists are continuing their quest for dark matter by seeing if any can be found here on Earth. Seems they've spent a lot of money and not found much with what they bought. Then again, in science a negative result can be as informative as a positive.
Now wait a darned second, I thought Colorado Springs was a bastion of limousine liberals? A case of me getting my cities messed up, or yet another example of progressives making sure the little people are not led astray? Meh, probably the former, but it'd be funnier if it was the latter.
And now, the largest lightsaber battle ever filmed. In Bristol. No, not the planet, the town. I'm not even sure there is a planet Bristol. Oh, God, now I'm doing it too...
Cheap plastic storage from Wal Mart, FTW!!!
It's the small victories I'm cherishing right now. Like replacing the window regulator. The Milano of course refused to start after I was done, then when I fixed that, the passenger-front turn signal refused to work. Which is to say, business as usual. I'm constantly reminded of a quote from Jeremy Clarkson: "This is the thing you have to remember: Alfa built a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly."
One of the unexpected perqs of my previous job was the deliriously loopy phone messages I would sometimes find in my voice mail. Sometimes they were scary, sometimes they were incoherent, usually they were harmless but entertaining. The effort put into them was occasionally impressive, as was the time when every single person in the organization got the exact same 3 minute message, a message obviously NOT written down but memorized exactly, five times in a row. We later figured he started at about 8 pm and finished up some time after 3 am the next morning.
At any rate, I got one that was so loopy and yet so characteristic I captured it. You can listen to the redacted version here. Apologies for all the ads, if there's a better host let me know. Enjoy the quirkiness of what wobbling off one's meds actually sounds like.
No matter how many times you see these, they will always make you laugh.
After many years of enjoying Om, my leopard spotted tortoise, we have finally found out that Om is a SHE.
Much to Olivia's tantrums... I'm still not renaming Om to "Chrissy."
An incredibly well-preserved temple complex built a full seven thousand years before the pyramids is causing historians and archeologists to reconsider basically all the assumptions surrounding the rise of civilization. The best part is the site has been known for quite some time, but nobody had the guts to take it on, until very recently.
Remember, folks, if you want to get bizzay, do it on level ground. You'd think a 67 year-old woman would know better. You'd be wrong.
Scientists have now conclusively proven there are hundreds of cold-specialized species living at both poles of the planet. Sounds pretty "durp durp durp," you say? Well, the trick is they're identical but separated by several thousand miles of much warmer ocean. There are a few theories which attempt to explain how that can happen, but none seem to have made it much past the testing stage. Just when you think the planet couldn't get any weirder...
Mike J. gets a no-prize who's only goal is the western shore for bringing us an innovative, and pricey, cardboard scratch post for cats. Our cats being who they are, I think they'd end up playing with the box and ignoring the boat.
Remember all that buzz about innovative fuel cells and other types of energy production that would one day free us from "the grid"? It seems the first for-real product is here. It's very nice to see an actual, working example of one of these futurist's dreams. You want to know what The Next Big Thing that will drive US wealth, prosperity, and growth looks like? You just saw it. Stick that in your, "ZOMG!!1!! THE CHINESE ARE TAKING OVER!!!" pipe and smoke it.
Now, personally I'd include a few articles about cars, but otherwise these examples of how men would write women's magazines is bang-on. You know, as it were...
Brent B. gets a very instructive no-prize for showing us what a simple Google search can reveal. Which Ron never even thought of. @Ron: Son, I am disappoint.
What do you get when you combine 2250 tongue depressors with a whole lot of time and determination? Something like this. I'd never heard of stick bombs either. Sounds like a potential father-daughter project to me!
I've always thought Olberman was a complete douchebag. I've just never seen it highlighted in quite so effective a way.
Ever wonder what would happen to a laptop if you submerged it in liquid nitrogen? Wonder no more. Two observations: a jerk-off who does something unexpected is still a jerk-off, and does that guy look like Egon or what?
'“We had a lot of luck with the weather,” said André Gierke from the radio station 89.0 RTL. “A proper winter for naked sledging.”' Pictures are NSFW, but I bet you probably figured that part out on your own.
Scientists have found evidence that hominids may have been making sea crossings much earlier than previously thought. The Australian aborigine crossing has perplexed scientists for as long as people have known it happened 60,000 years ago. Having hard evidence for another crossing twice as old will just confuse things further. Ain't science grand?
Nothing like an ordinary bit of meteorology mixing with an extraordinary bit of technology to start the day. Bonus: even though it's a "duh" sort of thing, I still thought it remarkable how different the trajectory of this rocket is than that of the shuttle. Yeah, they're going different places, but still...
Sorry the vid is grainy! It has grease on it. *Scott*
I defy you to frown through each and every one of these videos. That sound you hear? Ellen's and Amber's heads exploding in cat cuteness. Several times.
Me? Pretty little puke machines, far as I'm concerned. My story, sticking to it...
Folks, it just don't get no better than this: the Python is a 500 meter tube of explosives tethered to a rocket on one end, and an armored truck on the other. I keep thinking, but I just can't figure a down-side to this one. Well, except for all the moanin' and complainin' of the condo comittee. I mean, really, just because it tears the street apart and shatters everyone's windows...
Not content with massive subsidies, Japanese rice farmers are now turning their fields into forced-perspective art. Leave it to the Japanese to take something annoyingly stupid and rush it right out the end, so it comes back around to being cool.
Remember when mom said to never put anything in your ear smaller than your elbow? That's because she didn't think she needed to tell you not to put flaming crap there too.
Because we all know Ellen's much smarter than that.
Google has been approved as a wholesale energy buyer by the feds. The stated reason, to purchase power for its datacenters directly from suppliers, seems valid enough. I'd like to think they'll be smart enough not to let their executive branch run amok, as Enron did. I also like to think progressives will wise up some day. I guess I really am an incurable optimist at heart.
If it gets rid of an untreatable parasite that manifests itself as a three-foot long worm that burrows around in my body, I'm all for it! I definitely recall being grossed out by this concept back when I was in... junior high, I think. I just don't remember it being called a "Guinea worm." Yet another reason to stay the hell away from the desert!
Leave it to the Onion to just, out of nowhere, completely skewer "the NASA way." Oh don't worry, it's not mean. But it is appropriate. NASA-friend Kevin, you have been warned.
No, really, when pelicans attack! In this case, a weatherman who screams like a girl. Buck up, man, it's just a goofy bird!
Nothing like a collection of 50 of the weirdest looking critters yet found to start your day. Most I'd heard of, a few I hadn't. I've seen video of giant isopods... those things are f-d up for sure!
Cats and squirrels, sleeping together!!! Anyone who knows kittens can tell they are emphatically not cuddling. Judging by the expression "kitteh" is wearing, a face nom is imminent.
For peace of mind (and back, and legs, and arms), think about carrying Rest Easy, an organic spray said to repel or even kill bedbugs. You spray a defensive perimeter around your bed (you're advised against spraying it directly on the sheets) and presumably heed the age-old advice, "Don't let the bedbugs bite."
His story: The man is Thomas Beatie, who grew up in Hawaii as Tracy, becoming a model and a finalist in this contest. Beatie began dressing and living as a man when he entered his 20s. Eventually he underwent this type of surgery but elected to retain his female reproductive organs.
Keeping your V-Jay= woman.
Look, I don't care what you do, who you are etc.. just don't expect the main stream media to understand you and accept you. You have female reproductive organs and you chose to use them. That alone makes you a woman, not 100% male. You may feel you are 100% male on the inside, but you got lady parts.
Looks like even Italians have a limit to their sense of humor. Ours are too fat, old, and lazy to have any kind of flavor. Well, assuming half-puked cat food isn't a flavor, I mean.
Up next: CSEG Barbie! Olivia took one look and started threatening to kick my butt if I didn't get her one. My wife's child, let me show you her...
What happens when you let a bunch of foodies do a blind taste test to compare Wal Mart produce to that of a more prominent "organic" grocery chain? The results surprised them likely as much as they'll surprise you. We finally got a modern Super Center installed near us, and it's definitely a lot nicer than the ones I remember in Arkansas. It's even more welcome to hear they've figured out how to make "buy local, buy sustainable" actually profitable. Will it stop the far-left end of the peanut gallery from twirling in their towers every time they see a yellow smiley? Doubtful. "If both are against you, bang on the table," that sort of thing.
The newest tests paint a picture of a pharaoh whose immune system was likely weakened by congenital diseases. His death came from complications from the broken leg — along with a new discovery: severe malaria.
Bring on Zahi Hawass!
Just ahead of the Geneva auto show, images of Bertone's Alfa Romeo Pandion concept have been leaked to the press. There's a reason people hire Italians to design their cars. Building them, not so much, but in for a penny, in for a Lira, that's what we think around here. It certainly doesn't look like anything else out there. I actually think I like it.
Mark gets a no-prize that'll be vigilant until someone steps on it for bringing us this look at where the future of UAVs may be headed. The article is very long on "look what'll happen if it all works like it's supposed to", and very short on, you know, an actual vehicle. Still, I remember this sort of thing being discussed in AvWeek back in the late 90s, so it does seem progress is being made.
Who says the best forms of engineering are found in nature? I can honestly say I've never personally seen an example of a "hexacopter". It would seem to me scaling the idea up would lead to serious complications in the gearbox and drive train.
Leave it to a chick to come to the startling realization that dating women is not particularly easy. The comments about relationships and "patience" are so on-target it's scary.
To this day I haven't found one of those Hitler parodies unfunny. This one is no exception. This marks the second time this re-worded rant matched exactly what I picture going on in the head of one of the people sitting in the extreme left of the peanut gallery.
A New Zealand scientist is attempting to raise sea squids in captivity, starting with eggs. The ultimate goal is to raise giant squid, although the formidable challenges of the project make it seem such a goal will not be realized soon.
Scientists are testing a radical re-animation strategy by draining all the blood out of dogs, replacing it with a super-cold saline solution, and then putting the real blood back after a few hours. I get why they're doing it, but I'm not going to volunteer for their first round of human trials, that's for sure.
That Alfa return? For, you know, some time this century? Yeah, nevermind. I dunno. Conventional wisdom says Fiat's ego is too big to cut the marque loose, that they'd rather see it shuttered a-la Pontiac. If delaying a US return is what it takes for survival, I'm all for it. They'll make it back, when they're ready.
Or they won't be around at all.
I've long maintained that neither side of the peanut gallery has a corner on the wacko market. Now I have proof. Passionate conviction does not an intelligent constituent make.
Scientists have recently unlocked the genome of a Greenlander who died 4,000 years ago, and they determined he was probably some sort of native American. You know, Inuit-like. Ya don't say.
Actually, it's more complex than that, since apparently he wasn't related to any of the Inuit we know. I think it's more interesting they're able to afford to sequence such old DNA on an archeological grant. Now that price floor has been broken, all kinds of cool things should start coming to light.
Hey, if you can't post a huge website dedicated to a tired, old inside joke about British cars, what's the point of having it? Italian wiring has a good reputation for reliability, as long as you realize the wiring diagram is more of a suggestion than an actual, you know, tool. They make this stuff for computer circuits too, but in smaller, more expensive containers.
Virginia has joined a growing list of states outlawing involuntary chip implants. Go for the weird story, stay to watch the reporter trying to reconcile the deeply conflicted "privacy, for teh win!!!" and "ZOMG!1!! FUNDIES!!!!" storylines.
And now, a crab that measures 10 feet across. And it's not done growing yet. Predictably, this big-strange-ugly is considered a delicacy in Japan.
Looks like this week's Android update has now become "some time soon". Ah well, soon is better than never, I suppose.
Owners of Series 2 (or earlier) Tivos may want to hold off upgrading until after March. Then again, like Apple, Tivo is not shy about charging a premium to pay off its R&D, so the new ones probably will come dear. Of course, that probably means price-cuts on the ones current today.
I just hope the driver managed to live through it.
Think of it as an update to the piña colada song, only with a more realistic ending. I don't have to worry about something like that, because a baseball bat cocking backward behind my head doesn't make a noise.
New from the Nanny State: Police to pose as burglars, break into houses, wake up residents and scold them for a lack of security. I think they'll also end up finding out which residents own cricket bats, machetes, and various illegal firearms. The hard way.
Hey, if you can't paint your airplanes any damned way you please, what's the point of owning an airline? The bonus is, this likely wasn't all that expensive to implement. Probably uses the same tech that's used on Ellen's cruiser.
Mark Ron gets a no-prize that'll keep him warm at night for bringing us yet another quirky Japanese interpretation of a mundane bit of camping gear. Honestly, I got nothing for this one.
NASA's VISTA infra-red probe has revealed previously unseen detail in the heart of the Orion nebula. Very cool article, but a big raspberry to the editors for providing no obvious (to me at any rate) way to actually see the photos in questions.
Mobile middleware developer Dalvik has announced a new virtual machine for Android which claims higher performance and longer battery life. As an all-Android-phone household, we're for it!
And in my day, we had a turbo button on the outside of the case, and you had to push it. And we were lucky!
Looks like 6-8" out there this morning, with it still coming down enthusiastically. Neighbors have already cleared side-paths to hook to the main one we've kept clear so we could get to our car. It's starting to feel just a little bit like Little House on the Prairie out there.
After some sixty years of service, the US government is officially shutting LORAN down. Short for Long Range Navigation System, the ground-based facilities which transmit the high-power signals were largely shut down yesterday, with the remainder expected to be shuttered some time this summer. An example of bureaucratic inertia, or a valuable backup to the now ubiquitous GPS? The article doesn't seem to support either view.
This is why Pittsburgh can't have nice things. Like the first comment says, if these were Saints fans, they would've been wearing more beads. And, like, fewer coats and touks.
It seems DARPA is testing the feasibility waters for an unmanned sea drone. The idea seems to be to make the robot do all the hard, dangerous work of tracking and harassing aggressor subs, leaving the rest of the Navy to do whatever the heck they'll have left. Fling airplanes at the water, that sort of thing.
Rand Simberg has this well-reasoned rebuttal of astronaut Tom Jone's criticism of the new direction the Obama administration is taking with NASA. I thought the most telling part of the Augustine commission's report was this: As Jeff Greason of the Augustine Panel said (and co-panelist Sally Ride agreed), if Santa Claus were to deliver the system to them fully developed, they'd have to cancel it because they didn't have the money to operate it.
And yes, much as it amazes even me, it would appear I agree with a policy decision the Obama administration has made.
Oh stop it. Acting like you're having a heart attack is so Sanford and Son.
Google has admitted it's working on technology that could provide spoken-word translation in a phone some time in "the next few years". Which could, of course, mean next year, the year after, or fifteen years from now. Still, since both our phones are droid-based, one would suppose we'd be ideally positioned to take advantage of whatever actually materializes.
Hagan said a man asked him to step out of the way of his view of belly dancers on stage and then taunted him with offensive language.
She must have been really good.
Scientists have discovered the mechanism which allows daughter cells to be created without any age-related damage from the parent cell. Turns out "conveyor belt" proteins once thought to act as a one-way method of getting items from the parent to the daughters is actually a two-way connection which allows those daughter cells to "back flush" damaged proteins into the parent.
Cameraman takes a spill on the ice from our recent storm.
Note how the reporter keeps going. *snicker*
"I don't need to keep up with where all these nuts and bolts go," I said to myself as I undid the frozen window regulator on the Milano. "I'll have the replacement sent second-day, it'll be here on the 28th. Plenty of time, and by then the roads will be clear of the last of the salt. Two days, tops"
.. WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM NOON TUESDAY TO 7 PM EST WEDNESDAY... A WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM NOON TUESDAY TO 7 PM EST WEDNESDAY. * PRECIPITATION TYPE... SNOW. * ACCUMULATIONS... 10 TO 20 INCHES. * TIMING... MID-AFTERNOON TUESDAY THROUGH WEDNESDAY.
Not only did he put the testicle from a castrated dog in his mouth but he also put a medical tube up his nose and showed a nurse a photo of his erect penis on his mobile phone. The 37-year-old, from Brighton, east Sussex, was charged with two offences by the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons while working at St Runwald’s Surgery in Colchester, Essex, between April 2008 and September 2009.
Congrats to the Saints. I've been rooting for you bastiches for 20 years. Hooray for you!!!
I don't have Kit Cat Clock!
One is purchased every 3 minutes! WOW!
Scientists in Belgium have developed a technique which allows them to communicate with otherwise vegetative patients. Anything that allows people to communicate is fine by me!
This is what happens when Scott realizes that DROIDS are full of WIN! Video camera in pocket!
I'm sure there's something funnier than a southerner confronted with a snowstorm. I just can't think of it right now.
But wait, there's
All this over ~ 24" of snow, i.e. what someone in New York or Ohio would look forward to because it meant they'd get to use the snowblower. Again. I'm sure they're all planning on using up those six loaves of bread, four gallons of milk, two dozen eggs, and six pounds of cheese between now and, you know, Sunday.
By using a lot of computers and Hubble telescope images, a scientist has constructed the most detailed map of Pluto made to-date. Turns out it sorta resembles a pizza. It even has orange blotches!
Mark and Ron share a no-prize that's willing to sacrifice for the right thing for bringing us this viral bit of advertising. It's a little long for a Super Bowl ad, but I wouldn't be surprised to see a 30-second version this weekend.
Wine cellar*: Replenished.
Beer garden: ... rmmm... watered?
We got no reason to go out for the next three days. Bring it on.
* It's where we put the casks. No, not boxes. Casks. Says so on the bo... on the cask.
Today's "climate change will kill us all" debacle is brought to you by (closes eyes and throws dart)... the loss of all topsoil in Britain before the year 2070!!! ZOMG!!1q!! OH NOES!!! QUICK! SOMEONE GET THEM SOME FUNDING!!!
I remember hearing about this particular imminent apocalypse back in the 70s, when the watermelon agenda mostly revolved around fertilizers growing enough food to feed too many kulaks. It didn't happen then. It's not going to happen now.
Hey, trust me, it's an emergency of epic proportions around here too: woman arrested for dialing 9-1-1 repeatedly after losing her cellphone. Eerily Ellen-like denouement: it was found in her jacket while police were searching her. If my wife looked at me like she looked at her phone...
And now, a gallery of photos of manta rays. Gigantic airplane-like fish that are too big to care if the naked ape blowing the bubbles is dangerous or not. Not sure why, but I just think that's about as nifty as it gets.
Actual convo, two years ago:
Ellen: "Let's get a Milano."
Scott: "We can't drive it in the snow."
Ellen: "Bah. It only snows once or twice a year around here."
. THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN STERLING VIRGINIA HAS ISSUED A WINTER STORM WATCH... WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM FRIDAY MORNING THROUGH SATURDAY EVENING. * PRECIPITATION TYPE... SNOW. * ACCUMULATIONS... THIS STORM IS LIKELY TO PRODUCE 12 OR MORE INCHES OF SNOW IN THE WATCH AREA....
Looks like the "death cat's" streak is up to 50 and counting. I could see ours doing something like this. If, you know, they saw a chance to puke on you while they were at it.
And in the, "oh-no-they-di'-uhn!!!" file, we have hajji stuffing women's boobs with explosives. This one is so sensationalist it just screams, "slow news day." Then again, the story claims they've already caught looneys with their butts full of Semtex, so wtf knows?
Only the World's Best Leopard Spot can miss his mouth!
Scientists have unearthed another T. Rex ancestor in the American southwest. This one seems to be a real transition species between the smaller, earlier varieties with "shallower" snouts, and the later giant-eaters we're all familiar with. Oh, and as a dad who's daughter regularly picks paleontology books out for bedtime stories, I can only say, Bistahieversor sealeyi?!? Guys, it's easy to write those names, but have you ever actually tried to read them out loud? More than once?
Amidst the gloom of yet another big program cancel at NASA, there definitely seems to be more than a little bit of silver lining. This all sounds like stuff people outside the agency have been urging NASA to try for years, if not decades. Seems to me that, at least since the 1970s, NASA's most successful programs have been ones in which they do research nobody else thinks will go anywhere, or that'll be put in the public domain once the project's done. This seems to re-focus the manned space flight segment in that very direction.
It seems spray-on liquid glass will be the next big thing. Anything that makes hospitals safer for patients is fine by me.
Everyone's favorite artist/recluse Bill Watterson has granted his first interview in probably twenty years. A strange guy with a great sense of humor, seems like.
Mike J. gets a discreetly covered no-prize for bringing us the latest in cat box accessories. If I thought it would improve the chances of one of our bunch to actually use the box, I'd buy three.
And now, a girl with no vagina who got pregnant anyway due to getting stabbed in a knife fight. No, really!
Leave it to one of my new TV heroes, Captain Slow of Top Gear, to propose an alternate explanation for global warming. Per standard English practice, he points out the problem without actually suggesting a solution, but at least this time I don't have to worry about a bunch of academics covering up a computer model that only makes sense to them. I'll leave the UN boys for that.
Mark gets a no-prize that'll slot right into place for bringing us this fine demonstration of parking control. The spider almost certainly would fit. Thing is, the Milano just might too. They're both just about that narrow.
Climategate appears to be the gift that keeps on giving. It seems they've forgotten one of the keys to winning the game is to stop coughing up the ball. More's the pity.