Conversations that only happen in my house:

Me, looking at Ellen's "Pioneer" magazine, with its very "Little-House-on-the-Prarie-ness" cover: "What am I supposed to be pioneering?"

Ellen: innocent blinking.

Me: "I DO NOT WANT TO PIONEER A LIZARD FARM, A SNAKE FARM, A CHICKEN FARM, A GOAT FARM, OR AN ALPACA FARM!!!"

From upstairs in the bathtub, faintly, Olivia: "What about a horse farm?"

Me: "I don't need your help!"

Ellen: "Micro horses Olivia, micro horses!!!"