Conversations that only happen in my house:
Me, looking at Ellen's "Pioneer" magazine, with its very "Little-House-on-the-Prarie-ness" cover: "What am I supposed to be pioneering?"
Ellen: innocent blinking.
Me: "I DO NOT WANT TO PIONEER A LIZARD FARM, A SNAKE FARM, A CHICKEN FARM, A GOAT FARM, OR AN ALPACA FARM!!!"
From upstairs in the bathtub, faintly, Olivia: "What about a horse farm?"
Me: "I don't need your help!"