Olivia: Daddy! Turn it down!!!

Me, cranking the volume down: "What?"

Olivia, in her underwear on the steps: "I need tip money."

"What?"

"I need tip money for my wallet."

Ok, I don't get it either. I think it was her seeing Ellen furiously calculating the tip at our last dinner out.

Me: "Nobody gives you tips. You have to earn them."

"Please???" *blink blink blink*

Me: "Nope, not gonna work. I'll tell you what. You go upstairs right now and clean your room, and I'll give you two bucks."

"TODAY?!? Today's Monday!" (chores day is Sunday, which due to circumstances got skipped)

"Yup. That's the rules. You want tips, you have to earn them."

And then my bluff got called. Olivia: *blink blink* "Okay!!!"

And then she thundered up the stairs. I thought that was that, then I realized I could hear a lot of work going on up there. Thing is, I wasn't sure I had any cash on me. Like a famous gambler once said, betting $25,000 on a deal is fine when it's the house's money. Pressure is betting $100 on a deal with your friends when you only have $50 in your pocket.

Fortunately I scrounged $2, and sure enough, she earned her tip.