May 12, 2009
Speaking of Ruining Someone's Day...
Posted by scott at May 12, 2009 02:15 PM
While sinking a zodiac-like inflatable boat at 100 yards via remote control sounds pretty nifty, it's when they start talking about mixing pepper spray into the stream that it suddenly turns into a lot of fun. Well, if you're not a pirate, at any rate.
If the ship already has high pressure water available, I can literally see no down side to this, other than perhaps expense. Now that insurance rates for shipping through pirate-infested waters is presumably on the rise, I'm not sure that impediment will hold out for long.
No, it's not quite as satisfying as picking them off with a Barrett .50, but it has the advantage of shutting up all the bleeding hearts in Berkeley and Brussels. Anything that puts a cork in those particular bungholes is all right by me.
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Maybe the fact that the pirates have sympathizers working in the governments of most major cities (London at least, almost certainly other first- and second-world nations as well), and channeling them information on the course, layout, and anti-pirate defenses of every ship that registers a course through the area.
There's no defense that can't be evaded by simply slipping inside or around its firing arc, or by infiltrating a sympathizer onto the ship to shut it down.
Tat - arguably that's correct for fixed defenses. That's why small arms are so damned useful as is early detection.
Sympathizers? They're much harder get around. Of course, leaving them with the stranded pirates might be a good solution...
But, look on the upside. The surge in pirates is leading to global cooling. AlGore will soon be out of a job.
Hmm... I could have sworn I started that post with "Maybe, except for the fact..." I double checked the Preview too. Weird.
Anyhow, as the innumerable progressive articles opposing the use of rubber bullets, stun batons, and tasers show, even if non-lethal methods are used, the hostile vibes and negative karma from even a marshmallow launcher would make the bleeding hearts in Berkeley and Brussels spaz out. After all, some of the pirates might be allergic to marshmallows, and might have a life-threatening reaction. You have to guarantee that nobody will ever ever EVER be harmed, seriously, never, as a consequence of any self-defense actions you take, if you want to please them.
Which is how I've learned to assume their shrill whining is a sign that we're doing something right, and any joyful noises from them is a sign we're doing something very wrong indeed.
Don't worry about the preview - it's better than my normal start a sentence one way then change it halfway through so none of the subjects nor verbs agree, words get duped, etc.
As for the moonbats, I'd say that unless we're "attacking" them with food (organic, of course) and medicine (free, of course), then we're doing it wrong. It's our fault they need to be pirates anyway, no?