October 15, 2004
Welcome to Moonbat Theaters. In Case of Sudden Intrusion of Truth, Please Use Marked Exits

I'm sure many of the most extreme members of the gallery (no, not you, the other guy) will nod their heads completely off at this slick five minute video.

Ok, this one twanged a nerve. I'll preface this by saying I'm damned grateful to the sane Britons and Poles and all the rest who see the real enemy and are hurting and dying beside us to crush it. This is not directed at you. It's directed at the freak sitting next to you.

I'm sick of this crap. Ok, let's take the gloves off for a second, shall we? The world ain't our fault, and I'm getting damned tired of everyone trying to imply it is, or that we should do something about it (but only when the rest of the world thinks we should.) You see, for the past sixty years we've just been the freaking janitors of the world, cleaning up the mess that Europe made.

We didn't get to this position by cheating, lying, stealing or killing. Europeans (including the British) did that some two hundred years ago, carving up the entire world as quickly as their sharp little knives could hack pieces off. Oh, and in case you hadn't noticed, my country happened to be one of those pieces too, and a really old one at that. We just happened to be lucky and mean enough to chop your greedy fingers off when they squeezed too hard.

The rest of the world wasn't so lucky. Beijing, Delhi, Saigon, Tehran, Istanbul, all and more became part of your not-very "Great Game." Remember that one? Oh, I'm sorry, that's right. We're not allowed to talk about what your grandparents and great grandparents did to the world, are we? We're not allowed to talk about opium dens in China and mass graves in Algeria, concentration camps in South Africa and tiny bullet-riddled bodies in Amristar. No, we can't talk about those things now, can we? Ancient history. Nothing to see here, move along.

And when it all got too boring and too complicated you went and did it to yourselves. Twenty thousand dead in a day at the Somme. Eight million dead overall. Twenty one million wounded. And you know what? We really didn't think it was any of our goddamned business. We let you keep killing each other, and making your colonial "subjects" kill each other for you, until some of your agents started talking our neighbors into messing with us, and your navies started to sink our ships.

So when our manpower and our guns and our tanks and our goddamned money won your stupid little war for you, we sent our president over there with a decent plan to make sure it all never happened again, and what did we get for our troubles? You just went back and started the mess all over again, expanding the empires that had gotten you into that meat grinder in the first place, humiliating the people that nearly took over your corner of the world, and treating everyone except the Bolsheviks as beneath your contempt.

So round it all came again, the sequel, only louder and longer this time. Fifty million people had to die, and again it took our people and our stuff and our cash to make sure you weren't all speaking German or Russian and wondering where the hell all the Jews had got to. Even then, we were prepared to let you all have at it for as long as you wanted, and were it not for some idiotic Japanese and a lunatic German you can be damned sure we would have.

Almost every single big conflict we've gotten ourselves into since then did not have ol' Uncle Sam at its start. No sir, it's Captain Euro all the way, hiding at the base hoping nobody sees him picking his nose.

What's that? Don't believe me? I'm a victim of neo-cons too? Well then, let's examine...

  • Iraq: a duet of Ottoman provinces thrown together by Britain in the hope it would make it easier to ride a train from Suez to Delhi.
  • Vietnam: Oh good lord, where to begin. Possibly the last time a European managed to talk an American into doing them a favor.
  • Israel: What happens when idealistic British Liberal leaders decide to facilitate a little bit of escatology while their anti-semitic underlings grumble and grouse? I don't know either, but after promising the same chunk of real estate to two different sets of people, Britain and France ensured we'd all find out.
  • Saudi Arabia: Understand a people so you can understand a conflict? You gotta be kidding me. These were Arabs, they weren't really human. And there was a war on! Just pay both sides until a winner floats to the top.
  • Iran: Hello? We're trying to build a railroad to India, remember? Can't do that without passing through Persia. And those cheeky bastards were actually making treaties with the Bolsheviks! Find a strong man and give him whatever he wants, include the title "Shah."

Are we perfect? Oh hell no, we stink at this. Most of our attempts at fixing it have just made it worse. But that was because, again, we were busy making sure you Europeans didn't start going at each other with nukes. Building up a nation in some godforsaken corner or another of the world is kinda hard when you're trying to make sure nobody blows the whole damned thing up.

Even then, even then, we were willing to just let it all sort itself out

God damn you all. When dipshits do things like this I just want to spit on you all and lobby my president to pull every single soldier out of your stupid little bloodthirsty countries as soon as possible, pausing only to sow salt into the earth as we leave.

Because what you all seem to have forgotten is:

Q: What's the difference between a European buried in Normandy and an American buried there?
A: The European was dying for his country.

And now you're going to accuse us of fascism? Listen up sparky, we're not the ones who invented the goddamned thing. We are the only country in the world left who knows how to defeat it.

I'm sick of you all. I'm sick of trying to make you like us. I'm sick of feeling guilty because you don't. There's not a man or woman in France who cares if the rest of the world hates them or not. The British just expect it. The Germans and Japanese at least have a reason for it. Fuck you. You want a piece of us? Come and get it. Like my mom always said, life isn't fair. Life isn't nice. The world is a nasty, ugly place, filled with people who'll think nothing of shoving you and your baby into a pit, laughing because the little flopping, bleeding rag doll still clutched to your chest is still holding the only toy they'll ever know.

We're trying to stop all of this. While you and your compadres are sipping tea and cooking up clever ways of accusing us of genocide, we're the ones trying to stop it from happening. We're the ones dying to stop it from happening.You think we're too powerful? You think we're trying to dominate the world? Stop us. Stand in our way while we bleed our last into the dust of countries that were stillborn or crippled because of your grandfathers.

But until then, please, for your sake, just sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.

Posted by scott at October 15, 2004 09:05 PM

eMail this entry!

Thank you....from an old Navy vet.

Posted by: John Cross on October 18, 2004 06:20 PM

Wow. Absolutely amazing and I wish I had written it. Nicely done.

Posted by: JimK on October 18, 2004 09:42 PM


Posted by: John on October 19, 2004 01:24 AM
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