November 26, 2003
Help! Help! I'm Being Held Captive...

Those of you in foreign climes probably neither know nor care that tomorrow is Thanksgiving. And for that, you should be grateful! The rest of you probably already know what's going on. I lost the coin toss this year, so am being held by radicals from the GLF*, in-law branch, where you are treated to Wonderful Holiday Dinner Conversation (note: done in Brooklyn accent):

Grandpa: "Have some gravy, Scott."

Scott: "Nah, that's ok, I'm fine."

Grandpa: "What? What? You want some wine?"

Scott: "No, I don't need any gravy."

Grandpa: "What's wrong with the gravy?"

Ellen: "Pop-pop, he said he doesn't want the gravy."

Grandpa: "Everyone should have gravy!"

Dad: "What, who doesn't want gravy?"

Ellen: "Scott doesn't like gravy on his potatoes."

Grandpa: "Hmm? What? Who wants potatoes?"

Dad: "Nobody wants potatoes old man, would you listen for once!"

Ellen: "Leave pop-pop alone!"

Dad: "What? He can't hear a thing! He never wears his hearing aids!"

Ellen: "That's no reason to yell at him!"

Dad: "Of course it is! He can't hear!"

Grandpa: "An ear? You want some corn on the cob?"

Dad: "Goddamit pop, nobody wants corn!"

Grandpa: "Whaa... what are you talking about? Every time I turn around someone's yelling at me in this house! Hey, Scott, want some gravy?"

Scott: "Absolutely."

Next stop, grandma's house, where the rule is "leave the window open when you shower [in November, in 30F/-2C tempratures] so it doesn't mess up the wallpaper!"

Blogging will therefore probably be somewhat spotty until Coalition forces arrive.

Posted by scott at November 26, 2003 11:38 AM

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