July 30, 2003
Shit ALWAYS Happens To Me

People never cease to amaze me. There are people out there so nice you want to drown them in cat urine and there are people out there that are so miserable you want to be the one to end their existance just because they are annoying you.

I was out and about today walking with Olivia around the neighborhood putting up my 'Cat Sitting Available' signs on the common mail boxes when I thought it would be a nice treat to stop at the 7-11 for a slushie. The humidity was getting to the both of us and stepping in to some airconditioning for a few minutes would be nice. Plus I had my eye on the bench across the street in the shade to enjoy my slushie and to give Olivia a cold bottle I brought along.

Mistake. Something bad always happens to me.

I purchased my Tropical Sprite slushie and was on my way out the door when the guy behind me, skips to the front as I am opening the door. Ok, this dude is in a bad mood. Do I say anything? Nope. Should I have? Yup.

"Jesus Christ! You fucking women and these fucking strollers are always in the goddamn way!!" as he slams the door on my right hand with the slushie in it.

This is where it gets better. As this asshole skips out the door with his 3 cartons of Winston cigarettes, a hot dog and a Big Gulp, I'm staring at what used to be a 44oz slushie that has managed to explode in my hand, all over the front of the stroller and onto Olivia.

So now I have no slushie, a wet, sticky stroller and a baby covered in Sprite flavored slushie ice that is screaming her head off, and I have nearly a mile to walk home.

So much for a nice afternoon. Does anyone in the 7-11 help? Nope, they just stood and stared. I didn't even get offered paper towels to clean Olivia up with. I just tossed my cup outside in the trash next to the door and left what what left of my slushie on the floor and walked out.

Posted by Ellen at July 30, 2003 03:37 PM

eMail this entry!

When I come up in Oct. we will hunt him down and drown him in slushies or beat him over the head with his cigarette cartons. This action must not go unpunished.

Posted by: Pat on July 30, 2003 03:49 PM

What a jerk! He'll get what's coming to him, they always do. *poo*

Posted by: Moxie on July 30, 2003 08:28 PM

I'm just sitting here with my mouth hanging open...what the hell kind of jackass does that...and THEN the other wastes of skin just stand around revealing themselves as the idiots that they truly are?

Am I the only guy who holds doors open for women? I must be, because they always seem stunned when I do. I offered a girl my seat on the packed monorail during the Bite OF Seattle festival a couple weeks ago and she just glared at me like I was trying to get in her pants, the concept of a guy being a gentleman was totaly foriegn to her.

Chivalry isn't dead...but man, people are sure trying.

How did my attempt at expressing sympathy turn into a mini-rant?

Posted by: Mumblix Grumph on July 31, 2003 08:51 AM

What an idiot! I can't believe no one offered any help either! People are so rude.

Posted by: Dianne on July 31, 2003 10:11 AM

Unbelievable! Not only about the main jerk, but someone could have offered to help (in fact if I ran the store - you would have gotten help cleaning up and a new slushie).


Posted by: Bogie on July 31, 2003 11:09 AM

Man, what a jerk. I hope he gets his penis caught in his zipper.

Posted by: Greg on July 31, 2003 11:51 AM

I'm still getting harassed by a girl I held a door open for. Apparently I triggered some "post-traumatic stress disorder" thing by doing so, and now she's managed to convince all my former friends that I'm a nazi rapist.

Posted by: Tatterdemalian on July 31, 2003 04:53 PM

Greg--Maybe there's nothing to catch in his zipper (what a sexist thing for me to say--I'm shocked!) At any rate, such a Cretin must have something eating at him. It's hard to imagine anyone being that mean! Heart felt admiration for you, Ellen. You made it through it all and made it home.

Posted by: Cop Car on July 31, 2003 07:05 PM

Unbelievable. It only goes to show that the milk of human kindness is sometimes sour. I wouldn't worry too much about him though, with an attitude like that some of the nasty things already mentioned will probably happen to him. Besides, by letting him live you showed you were the adult of the two.

The store people have my sympathy though, it IS hard getting jobs for the handicapped.

Have a better walk next time.

Posted by: Wichi Dude on July 31, 2003 08:59 PM

I found him and he's dead. As for Yusef and Kareem Abu Punjabi, their flying carpets were impounded and they were deported to France.

Posted by: richie on August 1, 2003 06:15 AM

Oh E!
Good job Richie!
I think I would have tripped him then ran the stroller over his ass. O probably would have liked that too.
Don't worry about him though, if Richie hadn't gotten him, the cancer would have, or some other Mommy with bad post-partum depression (that plea would get her off too).
As for the store "Help", hope they never need any help from anyone at any time during their sorry excuses for life. They won't ever get it! May be they'll be fired today.

Posted by: Cindy on August 1, 2003 08:51 AM

Way to go Richie, you are my hero. If ever I should be in trouble you are the first one I will call, well the second one. Ellen and Cindy will be first on my list. lol

Posted by: Pat on August 1, 2003 10:47 AM
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