May 17, 2003
34 Weeks

Have I mentioned yet how 'done' I am with being pregnant? I did? Many times? Yeah, ok, I'm bitching again. There comes a point, usually when vericose veins start popping out like cheap firecrackers at a trailerpark 4th of July, that presciption grade maternity hose don't help. I'm not kidding, your toes get shorter, I swear they do. Just to show God has a sense of humor, your shoes get tight in spite of your shrinking appendages and you wind up with stupid sock marks on your ankles.

When you do get to sit down, you never ever want to get up. Mostly this is because your balance is so messed up you're not sure you can get up. Scott used to make fun of me by going "BEEP BEEP BEEP" when I backed into a couch, but now I really wish I had one of those things. Because let me tell you folks, once the pregnant ass is on its way to couch docking there ain't nothing gonna stop it. Steal my seat at your peril!

I'm also in the process of working on one of the bits of furniture that will go into O's room. A rocking chair that my mom gave to me, that she used with my sister. Of course, Mom and I looked at this rocking chair and determined that it should be painted. In retrospect, this was one of those moments that screams, "it seemed like a good idea at the time."

No longer should it be some boring wood colored chair, you know, the kind that just sits there and is comfortable and doesn't require two weeks of detail painting. Nope, not good enough. It should be painted white and lilac, just like O's room. With cat feet painted all over the chair. Did I mention my mom cackled gleefully and then left for home right after this "suggestion?" What, please, exactly is it about becoming a grandparent that turns you into a devious, evil being? Scott says it's karma for all the times we as children try to flush sneakers down the toilet, but I'm not sure...

The other thing to finish up is to place saw tooth hangers on Olivia's letters for her wall. It's going to be cute. Scott already thinks a six dozen sugar-coated lavendar easter eggs detonated in there, but he ain't seen nothin' yet. OLIVIA spelled out in large white letters going across one wall.

We are still waiting for the final furniture. That is supposed to come the weekend after Memorial Day. If my mom suggests it needs to be painted I'm going to set her on fire. Oh, you just think I'm kidding.

Other than that, all there is to do is wait.

Scott did find it funny the other day that I was on my hands and knees, with the top of my head on the floor, ass in the air, typing on the computer. What can I say? It was the only comfortable position I could find at that moment. I'm just glad I can type upside down.

According to my pregnancy calender, a 'term' baby is considered 37 weeks. I am hoping this baby will be early. I was told that O is going to most likely be an average sized baby of 6-7 pounds.

One thing that I am happy about right now. No stretch marks. Anywhere! And if any of you say you don't notice the stretch marks until after they're born, I'm going to set you on fire.

Oh, you just think I'm kidding!

Posted by Ellen at May 17, 2003 08:14 PM

eMail this entry!

you don't notice the stretch marks till after they're born

Posted by: richie on May 17, 2003 09:25 PM

YOU have a cigarette lighter! You will be easy to set on fire!! ;)

Posted by: Ellen on May 18, 2003 08:41 AM

I went 36wks without a single stretch mark - I thought I had gotten away with it - I woke up one day with 3.5wks to go to find that I had a city road map, with bike paths and bus routes intricately detailed on my guts. To say I was devastated wouldn't quite do my reaction's hoping your blank slate stays!!

Posted by: sarah on May 18, 2003 08:49 AM

I got HUGE with my first baby (who was 13 days late), and I have the pictures to prove it. But I got no stretch marks. Well, okay, I got one teeny little mark, like a half an inch long, right next to my belly button. That was it. I got HUGE again with my second (who was only 8 days late), and that time I got, oh, maybe 6 little marks.

You know it's all about genetics and good skin and destiny and luck of the draw, not about which exotic unguents you apply, right? But it IS possible to have babies without stretch marks. Possible, but not extremely common.

Posted by: jennifer and the beans on May 18, 2003 10:32 AM

Stretch marks - UGH! Some stupid chick told me that I wouldn't see them 'till 36 when the baby drops - this sudden shift of weight on to your lower belly will cause the stretch marks (assuming the baby has been growing slowly enough up to this point for your skin to gently stretch and not give marks) as the skin isn't prepared - and BAM, week 36, someone drew a roadmap on my belly.....I could set HER on fire!

Posted by: Tina on May 19, 2003 10:56 AM

I got only one small stretch mark on the !inside of one thigh! Never could figure this one out. I attribute this to using lots of pure Vitamin E oil on my belly, boobs and thighs - per grandma's instructions. Only lasting troubles were: my boobs never did go back to preprego size, my rib cage is about 1/2" wider than before, and my feet are a half size larger! Go figure.

Ellen, further on the maternity/nursing bras: Try Title 9 Sports ( This is where I got the sports bras I used all through pregnancy and nursing. They were easy to use - just yank the cup down below the boob for nursing - and were plenty supportive without my feeling like I was wearing some kind of white elastic body armor. I'm going through their catalog right now, and these are the ones I especially recommend: All Day DOuble Dry; 24-7 All Day Everyday, Best of Both Worlds, Not a Bomber, Smoothsport, Answer to All Prayers, and Sportshape. They also don't have those huge mondo obscene four-hook fastenings and there is even a Double Dry that hooks in the front - this was my favorite, and I still use it!

Anyway, best of luck. I used to read the newspaper in the ass-in-the-air position, so you're not alone.

Best wishes-

Posted by: sofia on May 20, 2003 12:39 PM

Hooray!! another person that stuck their ass in the air! :)

Posted by: Ellen on May 20, 2003 07:11 PM
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