December 02, 2002
10 Weeks

Yeah I know, I'm late with my weekly post. BUT, I have a good excuse. I was in NY with family and my sister is a hound with her computer and would not let me on it for more than a few minutes at a time.

So I am at 10 weeks now. It was also the second dr's visit this past Wednesday. It was supposed to be an exciting exam too. We were supposed to hear our jelly belly's heart beat, and actually realize something is there and I was not pretending it all along. Scott would finally understand it was not one big conspiracy to get another cat.

So there we are, sitting in the waiting room. I get called in by one of the nurses there. They are too damn cool. I like them much more than the dr's. "Ok, on the scale you go", she says. *Shit* This is were I must disassemble myself. Off with the jacket and extra sweaters, and of course the 10 pound purse. "Doing good! Only a 2 pound gain. You are right on track." I look at the scale, ok, 126 pounds, not bad. I can do this. Apparently I have to manage to ONLY gain 25-30 pounds tops- I am told I am much too small to gain anymore.

Scott and I are sitting in the room where he looks around, totally bewildered to FINALLY get to see the inside of a woman's exam room. "There are boobies on the wall!," he exclaims.

"Well yeah, it's an ob/gyn office you asshat."

He then looks at me and says with this nervous tone "What the hell is a dilation chart? Is that how big your crotch will get!?!". I look at the wall. Holy shit The first one starts out a little smaller than a wine cork, but the last one looks like a frikken dinner plate! EeP!

Then the dr walks in. One of 7 I will be meeting for an exam. I decide right there I don't like her. She has a limp handshake and obviously does not want to be at work that day. "Ok, lay down". Poke, poke, probe. "Ok, you can get up, you're done."

"Um, the midwife told me that today I would get to hear the baby's heartbeat" I say.

" Yeah, well you are only 9 weeks, and you are barely showing at all." (is it my fucking fault I am a small human that can still wear a size 6 pair of jeans? is it my fault that before I got pregnant I had a goddamn six pack of abs? NO)

"Can you try anyway? We were looking forward to this."

"Ok, fine, but I'm not saying that it will be there."

So she whips out the SAME Doppler I use on the cats at work to get blood pressures on them and tells me to yank my pants down to my pubic bone. (Thank god I waxed that week!) She then slathers on the jelly and proceeds to 'look' for this heartbeat. I hear mine, no problem. Then she finds it.

Both Scott and I look at it like some queer science experiment and all we can say is, well, "cool".

It was only after we were done, while we were walking in the parking lot, Scott got himself a revelation.

"This is the place where you get your 'exams', isn't it?"

"Well, not this exact one, but yes, a place like this."

"So that was, like, a gynecologists examination room", I could sense a certain amount of awe creeping into his voice.

"Duh. Of course it is. What do you think the GYN is for dumbass?"

There was a long, very thoughtful pause.

"Well," he said, sounding a little disappointed, "don't you guys have some sort of secret handshake or something?"

Ha! Secret handshake. Ha!

As if I was ever gonna tell him...

Posted by Ellen at December 02, 2002 07:46 PM

eMail this entry!

Maybe you won't see this doctor again. I am glad you are taking the time to write these experiences down. This will be a very nice thing to give to the Jelly Belly someday.

Posted by: Pat on December 2, 2002 08:50 PM

You mean you didn't tear up at the heartbeat?!?
I guess some people are more excited than others in the beginning (whom shall remain nameless).

Posted by: Cindy on December 2, 2002 11:41 PM

yeah asshat. im gonna use that one

Posted by: richie on December 3, 2002 04:27 PM
Post a comment

Email Address:



Remember info?