November 14, 2002
8 Weeks

As of midnight tonight, the small bundle of cells that have put me on the wagon and made me crave onion rings and raw cranberrys, finally becomes a fetus. *POOF!* Just like that. It magically turns at its 8th week. (Magic?, I thought this was science)

According to the book I am reading it's about 8mm long, or 3/4 of an inch. It has body parts, a beating heart and it's starting to grow some eyelids (sounds like a chia-pet crossed with a tadpole). It has also begun to move. Won't feel that till the 4th month, and I may be lucky NOT to confuse it with other bodily functions when they really start.

Morning sickness, yep it's happening, and it's no longer just feeling queasy. I have to fight and yell at the cats to get their head out of the toilet so I won't puke on them. "Dammit!! Goblin! I need the toilet! Mommy needs to yak her shoes!" Cat looks up at me like "WHAT!? I was taking a drink, get out of the damned way!"

Scott still does not get that I am not sleeping simply because I am tired, but because my body is shutting down to grow that chia-baby as efficiently as it can. So usually by 8:30 I am in bed, while he is downstairs going " I'm lonely!! Come watch TV!" "NO! You come up here! I'm laying down dammit!" ZZZZZzzzzz....

This is when Scott discovers that he can watch all of his tivo-ed shows that I hate, while I'm watching the Discovery Channel and other odd shows the fifteen freaking seconds it takes before I start to sleep after I turn on the tv. You have to remember what a complete nerd I am about this stuff. I want to know the sexual habits of the spider crab! And yet the jelly bean prevents this, and so many other things.

For instance, I have learned the joys... oh, the joys... of non-alcoholic beer. All the bitterness, none of the buzz. All those guys who say they're drinking beer because of the taste? They're full of shit. Beer without alcohol tastes like skunk. I know there's some chemical scientist out there who spent his whole career figuring out some gabillion dollar technique to make non-alcoholic beer palatable, but as far as this yankee is concerned, if it doesn't buzz it's just not worth it.

But I do get donuts. [Homer voice] Ooohh... Dooonuts.... *drool* [/homer voice]. We're talking chocolate covered Entenmann's donuts baby! A full box of dark chocolate, deep-fat fried goodness. I am pregnant woman, hear me snack! Plus, I get to take as many breaks as I like. Client being a pain in the ass? "OH!" I say in a very dramatic fashion, "I'm feeling" (you gotta see me get all Scarlett, mama would be so proud) "fah-haint..." and damned if three of them don't take that client off my hands.

8 weeks in, 32 to go. Scott keeps saying "where's the goddamned boobie fairy?!? We Want Boobies... We Want Boobies..."


Posted by Ellen at November 14, 2002 07:21 PM

eMail this entry!

You are such a BAD Yankee girl, but I love you dearly. I am sorry you are having such a "sh*tty time right now but it will pass even if Scott is being a jerk. I would pay good money to see your "Scarlett" routine. LOL BTW tell Scott to grow his own boobies, go to bed and get some rest, just don't fall down the stairs please.

Posted by: Pat on November 14, 2002 08:30 PM

You know that these are good for starting a scrapbook for the baby, it's making me wish that I had done it for JT. I have a few journal entries, and some pictures, but no "embaress them later" stories. Guess I'll start some.
I'm with Pat. Kick Scott in the teeth (while he's laying down), wait until he really realizes that he'll probably get a lot LESS attention once the baby arrives. Ask J, that's part of his problem, though he won't admit it.
I just keep telling myself that I can't do EVERYTHING. If you asked me, that's what I would give you for advise (though I'm sure you already get a lot of unsolicitated advise now).
Hang in there. Love, C.

Posted by: Cindy on November 14, 2002 11:48 PM

don't worry about Scotty, dear. He'll come around.

I remember Erin when she was at this stage with Abby..... she could literally sleep standing up... I've never seen something so amazing. I didn't truly understand until I started reading some of the books she was collecting.... amazing stuff. So basic, yet so facinating.

Sorry about the morning sickness, dearie, but it should pass. All the hardship and toughness of the pregnancy will be a very dim & distant memory the second you hold that bundle of joy for the first time.

I didn't believe that until Erin told me it's true.....

I'm so happy for you guys!

Posted by: Jim S on November 15, 2002 08:55 AM

How exciting!! At least you're not craving anything disgusting, like insects.

Though nonalcoholic beer....!

Posted by: maru on November 15, 2002 09:10 AM

Onion Rings and Raw Cranberrys! Yummy!!!!

My wife wanted, check that, demanded Mangos. In the middle of winter. Right!!!! When I could get them, the were very expensive and not very good. But that didn't stop her.

I remember the night I was in the Vons at 2:30 AM buying a bag of mangos. Clerk thought I was nuts.

Fortunately she discovered that Snapple Mango Madness was a suitable replacement.

My cousin used to make butter and pickle relish sandwiches on white bread. Shortly after her baby was born she stopped by my grandmothers. Grandma made her her usual sandwich to which Kathy looked and her and asked "What in the world would make you think I'd ever eat anything like that".

Not only did she not crave them anymore, she didn't even remember ever eating them in the past. Several months later she admitted that she did remember making them, but not eating them.

Take it easy, get your rest now while you can, in 32 weeks you get to start a whole new study in sleep deprivation.

Posted by: David on November 18, 2002 02:29 PM
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