Me: "Hey, Ellen... read down to the second paragraph, and stop."

Ellen does her best impression of Harpo Marx, and casts about for her horn.

Me: "Did you know... did you know... that college freshmen sometimes treat college as a place to experiment with casual sex?"

Ellen: wide eyed nods

Me: "AND... did you know, did you know, that the girls feel guilty, and the guys just try for more?"

Ellen: **Gigantic look of horror!!**

Me: "ANDDDDD DID YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY THIS HAS EVER HAPPENED?!?!?"

Ellen: *honks horn and throws a pie at a fat lady in a sequined gown*

Remember, folks, these are the same people who are telling you the tea party movement is full of dangerous racists.