Ok, we have a TiVo, a newborn, some wine, and let's just say we're not the most socially adjusted people in the world to begin with. All right, I'll admit it... [whisper]we watch "America's Funniest Home Videos"[/whisper]. Laugh our asses off at it too. I only realized that something was wrong when we had our best friends over and watched "AFV", and they just sorta looked at us like we were retards.

So anyway, there we were sitting watching our favorite mindless check-brain-at-door-and-watch-asses-get-busted show, when all of a sudden Ellen looks over and, swear to god, her eyes go "boiiiing!!!" No, really, they even made that noise, I swear.

Sitting not six inches from her right elbow (she was sitting on the floor holding the baby), and absolutely square in front of me on the couch, was the World's Largest Cat Vomit Snake. Looked like a pale yellow-green snake-shaped twinkie.

That's right. We were so totally, utterly fixated on our TV show, some cat (we're not sure which) sat in front of us, crossed their eyes, and played reverse-digestive bingo on our carpet, and neither of us even noticed. We literally have no idea which one did it.

Yeah, ok, no more Arbor Mist wine blenders for us tonight. Even Olivia looked at us with disapproval.

Oh shut up. Shut up. You know you've done stuff like this. Oh yes you have. Don't make me start talking about time you left your kid on the roof of your car...