October 30, 2002
5 Weeks

I went to the doctor's office last week and found out that I am 5 weeks pregnant. "5 weeks???", I'm thinking. (so I look down at my piece of paper to see all the dates I have been keeping track of.. yes, I got obsessive). "Um..are you sure I'm 5 weeks?"

"Of course", the nurse says as she spins this little dial and tracks out the baby's due date. "You are due on June 27th". Me- "Um..ok". (How the hell they track the due date from the last date of your period is odd! They even turned down all the dates I wrote down that I KNOW I had sex on.) What does not come out right is that the due date is really the 35th week!?? Isn't pregnancy 40 weeks? Are they counting the 2 week left or right shift?? I don't know. It's all confusing.

"By the way, we need you to take all of your clothes off and put on this paper gown so the midwife can examine you". Great... Nice cold room, only covered in paper. I feel very vulnerable and stupid at the same time. Those gowns NEVER cover you all over. May I mention that it is a 2 piece gown? This silly makeshift top that MUST open in the front, and some dorky ass 2 foot piece of a paper blanket to cover your crotch.

So I meet a midwife who proceeds to tell me that I will meet a total of 7 different midwives and doctors at the practice. I get a midwife and doctor at the birth. Apparently the doctor just hangs out in the back unless something happens that they need to step in to help with. Me- "Um..ok". I've never done this before so I can't complain.

After having an internal exam AGAIN for the year, and basically felt up all over, I get to get dressed and go pee in a cup. First I'm peeing on sticks, and now in cups. YAY! Peeing in a cup is just as fun as peeing on a stick, just so you know. Especially if you want your hands to remain clean. And when they say they want a urine sample, they want a large amount. So you must make sure you are drinking water to the point you have to pee really bad by the time you get to the doctor's office. Peeing never felt so good after that one.

I was sent home with a slew of prenatal vitamins to try out and next visit I have to tell them what brand I want for a prescription. Choices, choices. Yeah, they have vitamins so you don't get hemmeriods (hemmeroids!!???) or constipation ( god knows we don't want that). Vitamins that I can't get the package open to them cause they are sealed too damn tight.

Then they tell me, I must have bloodwork done. Shit. I hate having blood done. ( I draw blood on cats all day, and I can't get mine done- YES, I am chicken shit when it comes to blood)

I get very nervous. Scott came with me for that at some outpatient lab. Of course I carried on, and got so nervous that all of my veins would disapear everytime I got even more upset. I will say this. The guy that drew my blood [Brian] was the nicest person. 22 years of phlembotomy experience. So no bruise for me.

So next visit Scott gets to come along. We get to hear the heartbeat and to finally make this all seem real. Maybe he won't be as freaked out then. *wink*

Posted by Ellen at October 30, 2002 03:32 PM

eMail this entry!

Per Babycenter.com "It's because you're not actually pregnant at 1 week. Pregnancy is counted from the first day of your last menstrual period and you're not likely to ovulate and conceive a child until about 2 weeks after that day. (In fact, you probably won't find out that you're pregnant until you're about 5 weeks along, when you've missed your next period.) So our calendar starts at "2 Weeks" because that's when conception starts. Before that day, there's nothing to say because you're not yet pregnant."
Hope this helps!

Posted by: Elizabeth on October 30, 2002 04:53 PM

Also from there :
"Is pregnancy really nine or ten months long?

Well, it depends on how you count it. These days, most practitioners determine your due date by counting 40 weeks from the first day of your last menstrual period. Keep in mind that you're not actually pregnant for the first two weeks because you haven't even ovulated yet, and you don't usually find out you're pregnant until you're about 5 weeks or so along. But this is how most people count it. And forty weeks adds up to about nine calendar months (30 or 31 days each) or ten lunar months (28 days each). In order to make it easy to count the months, a lot of guidebooks and web sites, including this one, will count the months of pregnancy as lunar months, so that every four weeks, you're another month along. Counting this way, you will be ten lunar months pregnant by the time 40 weeks is up. "

Posted by: Elizabeth on October 30, 2002 04:54 PM

Sooo very confusing!!

You make sure you kiss Buffy, Riley and Polly for me! =^^=

Posted by: Ellen on October 30, 2002 05:12 PM

It's really 10 months. It was a MAN who declared it 9mos because it sounds so much shorter than 10mos.....

Actually, the official NURSE (and doctor) stand is that full-term is anything from 38-42 weeks. 40 is just the average.

Posted by: Da Goddess on October 31, 2002 03:37 AM

Long, long ago when I was pregnant with "what's his name" you counted forward seven days from the first day of your last period and then back three months. I have a lot of experience with CCU/MICU problems and nursing, but "I don't birth no babies, Miss Scarlett!"

Posted by: Pat on October 31, 2002 08:46 AM


we had a midwife too.... we met & Erin got examined at one point or another by like 8 of them and two doctors too. The midwife handled almost all of the delivery (except for the epidural and one quick check by the doctor to make sure everything was going OK) It was a great experience for us...

one warning: get used to the lack of comfort.... vanity goes out the window.... you'll get poked, prodded, scanned & touched until after the baby is born. If my wife's wonderful attitude was any indication, it's all worth it when you hold that little wonder.

as far as the due date, they say it's all scientific & stuff, but I found that it's all guesswork & a lab coat.

I'll get the names of the books Erin devoured. She found them educating.... I'll e-mail you guys with some info that we found extremely helpful.

remember, too, that people just want to tell you how horrible their experience was.... you will eventually get sick of it... I recomend telling them politely, but firmly, NOT to tell you horror stories. Even though we had some complications, we had a wonderful birth experience.

I'm so excited for you guys!!!!

Posted by: Jim S on October 31, 2002 09:17 AM

OK Jim S during "your" birth experience just how often were you examined, how far apart did your labor pains get. LOL Sorry, I just can't get use to the term "we are pregnant"

Posted by: Pat on October 31, 2002 09:50 AM

Due Date Schmoo Date.

Take that date they gave you and have everything you think you will need for the baby ready about 6 weeks before that. The doctors tell you a due date, you tell everyone else. No one tells the baby. Those little buggers do exactly as they please. When they please. And it won't stop once they are born. Adults have calenders, clocks and schedules. Babies don't.

Don't worry too much about getting everything ready though. No matter how much advice you get, how many books you read, you will not be ready, and you will not have everything you need. No matter how prepared you think you are - you aren't even close.

The only stuff you really need at first are:
1. a car seat, so you can get the poop machine home. Which brings us to:
2. Diapers and wipes - obviously.
3. Your mother, mother-in-law or both around to click their tongues, roll their eyes and tell you "We didn't do it that way in my day."

Everything else you can get or make up as you go along.

Congrates, have fun, and try not to kill anyone during your third trimester.

By the way I'm a father of a 10 year old daughter - born breach 4 weeks early, and 5 year old boy/girl twins - born 6 weeks early. And husband to a dear woman who so far has resisted the urge to strangle me in my sleep......

Posted by: David on October 31, 2002 02:16 PM

thanks for all the info!! I will be writing up hopefully something weekly or monthly about the whole thing! :)

Keep the comments comming!

Posted by: Ellen on October 31, 2002 06:02 PM

As for the discrepancy between conception and sex, sperm can hang around for days or even weeks, just waiting for a nubile young egg to saunter on by.

Posted by: Byna on October 31, 2002 08:40 PM

Of course, as soon as I hit post, I thought of another interesting fact.

Just like in Real Life, boys get there first, but girls last longer. (at least, I think that is the way it goes). So the longer the time between sex and conception, the more likely you are to have a girl.

Posted by: Byna on October 31, 2002 08:42 PM

OK, here's my two cents.

A very low percentage of babies are actually born on their due date. The wives tale that most first babies are late, is fairly accurate; however, nothing certain.

The "you are never prepared" is true (at least with every Mother that I've talked to). Though it is possible to be ready. And taking it all one day at a time is certainly the best advice I've heard and I would give, if asked.
There was one point that I was so tired, that I swore that I would reconsider having another baby. I know several people with three or more and all have told me that after two it actually gets easier (that is if all don't come at the same time). It must be the little helper thing.

Back to the original point: dates are for goals. Doctors (and nurses) feel expectant mothers need them, but the babies don't really care. They come when they are ready.

Posted by: Cindy on October 31, 2002 11:41 PM

Hi Ellen,

My wife and I have been looking at this site when we have some time, and I have to tell you, this is HILARIOUS. My wife and I had a beautiful baby boy on Oct. 26/03 so you can imagine how we've been following along and completely relating to everything you've written. Anyway, I just had to tell you how much I enjoy you're writing. It's fantastic!

Posted by: Curtis on November 14, 2003 10:50 AM

Congrats on the new baby! Thanks for enjoying the site! It means a lot to us! :)

Posted by: Ellen on November 14, 2003 12:42 PM

hey my name is christina and i was on the internet and i came across this site and well im going to be taking a phlembotmoy class within the next few months, im in a healthcare essentials class which teaches the basic nursing assistant job, its a class i have to take before my phlembotomy class, well anyways were suppose to interview a phlembotomist, well i personally dont know one, but maybe you can have brian email me or something and have an interview through email or chat or something...if not then thats ok but it really doesnt hurt to ask you.. so yeah thanks...---christina

Posted by: Christina on April 14, 2004 12:15 AM
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