October 23, 2002
Reality Check

Ok, this story has just taken the cake for me. There are obviously far, far too many morons out there who are scared out of their wits about this thing. I live right next door and I AM NOT AFRAID OF THE SNIPER. I'm afraid of all the rest of you twits who are too busy looking and dancing around to actually drive straight down the goddamned road.

So, to show just how dumb you all are, some relevant statistics:

Unless otherwise noted all statistics taken from The National Vital Statistics Report, 1999-2000 from the Centers for Disease Control

Cause# of people killedAveraged over 12 months
Cancer (all types)553,09146,090

And as far as worrying about kids:

Cause# of children killedAveraged over 12 months

* The lightening statistic was pulled from this website, and the sniper statistics I got from today's Washington Post.

In other words, almost 11 times as many people are killed on our nation's roads EVERY GODDAMNED DAY, 365 DAYS A YEAR than have been killed by this psycho in two weeks.

And, unlike our friendly neighborhood psycho, THERE ARE LOTS OF THINGS YOU CAN DO TO KEEP FROM GETTING KILLED IN OR BY A CAR. Easy, simple things like fastening seat belts, not getting drunk, and just paying the f*ck attention to the world around you are all proven extremely effective at preventing you from being killed by something 11 times more likely to off you than some wacko with a gun.

So, if you actually live in this area and actually have done something different in your life or even thought about doing something different in your life to avoid the sniper, I want you to say this (with me, because I catch myself doing it too):

  • I'm a moron for being afraid of the sniper
  • I'm a moron for fearing for my kids because of the sniper
  • The people around me are morons for being afraid of the sniper
  • Two tons of steel hurtling down a highway at 70 miles per hour with a person combing their hair, drinking coffee, and talking on a cell phone at once as a pilot is far, far, far more dangerous to myself and my children than any single crank with a gun and a grudge.
  • Today I will be a more alert, but unfearing, driver and citizen not because of the sniper, but because being in that state of mind helps keep myself and my children out of real, ever-present dangers like drunks and morons and falling objects and other things which actually can do me and mine harm.

Say it again. Now.

Posted by scott at October 23, 2002 01:24 PM

eMail this entry!

I am absolutely stunned by your insensitivity!
Signed: A Moron

Posted by: Pat on October 23, 2002 11:19 AM

Gotta love the stats.

I blame the media, and I hope that the Sniper plugs a few of them as a community service before this is all said and done.

Posted by: Laurence Simon on October 23, 2002 11:36 AM

OOOO! Now there's a thought. Howsabout using them as human shields around the gas pumps? Guarantee they'll get the exclusive report that way!

Of course, that would mean they'd risk getting their hair mussed, and actually having to deal with... ugh... "common people" for more than five minutes at a time, so I expect our chances are quite low.

Posted by: scott on October 23, 2002 11:40 AM

My take:
catch the sniper/s, ripe off a finger and toe at a time about an hour or two apart from each other.
don't let him/them sleep through the 20-40 hours to digit torture
pull every single hair out of his/their body/ies, a few at a time so it hurts
then pour salt on the bleeding missing digit holes
and leave them tied spread eagle, naked to a board placed on the ground in the middle of a wooded area (where there are a lot of bugs and flesh eating animals)

Think I'm sick? I'm a mother and that/those lunatics have threatened my child with that note about children not being safe anywhere anytime.

Car accidents and just plain accidents happen everyday, yes. But that's just it, they are accidents. This/These psycho/s are doing it on purpose and think they'll get money (PULEEEZE!).

Just wait until your child arrives Scott, you will be diligent everyday, non-stop, forever. As parents we protect and defend and love our children; this/these sniper/s is/are a reality for this timeperiod. I'm not in that area but I'm worried about people there.
You are only a moron if you are not diligent or aren't aware of your surroundings.

Posted by: Cindy on October 24, 2002 12:00 AM

You tell him Cindy. Girl, if there is ever the need I want you on my side. LOL You hang on so tight to that baby of ours that he yells. See you Monday. Very creative with the torture. WooWoo!

Posted by: Pat on October 24, 2002 03:51 AM
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