May 25, 2002
Perspective of Porn

Ok, I will admit I shop for porn. Not on a regular basis, but when the mood strikes me that I need to spice things up I do. *I know my southern Mama is going "I don't want to hear that you shop for that stuff!!"* So far, I've picked out some impressive movies. *otherwise NOT junk!*

I do want to make one thing clear. I DONT like watching porn at other people's houses in groups! 1. thats just wrong. 2. you KNOW who you are when I mention this. 3. yes, I know Scott wishes we had a channel that he could watch it 24-7 unscrambled.

Today I went to the local porn shop(NO WAY!! NOT ME~!) with Scott to pick out a new DVD. * don't by videos people! DVD's cost the same amount!* Of couse, I am the only chick in the shop. Mind you this is a HUGE store. 2 stories of magaznies, videos stacked 2-3 deep and DVD's. Not to mention some scary ass toys and other oddities.

Once you walk in, everyone seems to look at you and go "oh shit, chick in the store." They think, 1. you are WeIrD!, 2. you are just plain curious, or 3. you are shopping with your boyfriend for a new toy or movie. Plus you have the balls to walk in the place.

I won't even mention the time some of us girls from work decided to go in to this store to get items for our men (movies) and we got so loud that we embarassed a few guys to leave the store. (Yes, my side-kick, Amber was there *aka-the lesbian girlfriend* -NOTE- she is not a lez, but people think we are when we hang out. It is a weird thhing we have not been able to put together)

When you pick out porn, there are several things to look for. 1. the people HAVE to be good looking! I'm sorry, but they DO! 2. Look for familiar names! Porn stars you are familiar with. 3. Look for titles made by Vivid or Private. You have a 80% chance of a decent movie!- not just the boinking aspect, but we chicks got to have a story if we have to sit and watch a movie. Even porn! One other tip: look for awards on the box! -Awards are good! That means its worth watching.

Stay away from funky stuff! You will get what you deserve if you pick out weird shit! The title will usually give it away people! Plus some pix on the front of the package will usually indicate what you are in store for. If you get ill at any point of looking at the box, put it back!

Other than that. One of my favorite things about a porn shop is the little black bag you get for your purchase. SHHHH....its a secret that people SAW you go into this shop and that you actually purchased somthing from it! Plus its a heavy duty bag! You can recycle it for cat litter in the future!

Posted by Ellen at May 25, 2002 04:13 PM

eMail this entry!

Thanks for the Porn tutorial. I am making a list of all the things I should remember next time I hit the video rental store. Of course I rent from a placed named "Family Videos". ROTFLMAOPIMP @ E. and Amber with their "black bags."

Posted by: Pat on May 25, 2002 05:39 PM
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