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Just who the hell do you think you are, anyway?
None of your damned business! :P
Ok, sorry about that. Howsabout you tell us a little about yourself?
That's better. Just because I hang my fanny out here everyday doesn't mean you can say nasty things. Well, you can, but do it in the comments area. It doesn't just have to be my mom commenting!
Anyway. 30-something married white male, one child (so far). Heh... I like that "so far" bit because it makes my mom think we're trying for another. Let me tell you, children are to grandparents what crack is to an addict. Except grandparents get to give their addiction to someone else when they get tired of it.
Ah. One of those people. So this is your attempt at humor, eh?
What, typing questions to myself and then answering them? That isn't humor, that's psychosis. Nothing to see here folks. Move along, move along...
For a blogger, your ability to string more than six words together into a sentence puts you several steps above the regular crowd. I take it you've got more than a sixth grade education?
What, the internal workings of the white single 30-something female doesn't interest you? What are you, some sort of sexist? Some of my readers are white 30-something single females you know, you trying to start something with my readership, bub?
Yeah right, all six of your readers. Answer the damned question.
I've got a bachelors degree in Anthropology. 1991, University of Arkansas.
*snicker*... *guffaw*... You mean you're from (chuckle) ARKANSAS?!?
Shaddup. It happens. You better watch it or I'll call the hogs on yo' ass.
Ok, we don't know what that is but we're pretty sure we don't want to know what that is. What the heck can you do with an anthropology degree anyway?
Ha! I bet you don't even know what anthropology is! Shows me what you know! There's lots of things you can do with an anthropology degree. Convenience store clerk, loading dock monkey, McDonalds employee-of-the-week, lots of things. You can also work at archeology labs, on digs, or at a university, but the pay isn't as good as the McDonalds gig.
You work at McDonalds?!?
Good god no! I just meant that McDonalds pays better. Sheesh... journalists these days...
So what do you do for a living?
I work for a national non-profit as their, for want of a better word, "computer guy". It's easier to say what I don't do, but in an office full of social work majors I: do help desk, write web-based applications, design graphics, build web sites, manage a 70 user ethernet LAN, configure workstations, manage a server farm with Linux, Windows NT & 2k, Novell 5.1, do firewa--
Ok ok ok, we get it. You do lots of computer stuff.
If you knew that already, why'd ya ask me for?
Because we-- nevermind. So where does an arts & crafts bachelor degree student get off being so authoritative on so much weird stuff?
Graduate. I'm an arts & crafts graduate thank you. Got my name engraved on a sidewalk and everything.
Books. You know, those funny square-shaped things that look like phone books but cost a lot more? I know it's been awhile, but I'm sure you remember them.
We know all about books, thank you. You're not the only one who can string words together you know.
Good! Glad to see I can piss someone off, even if it is myself. Anyway, I read books. Typically three or four a month, mostly nonfiction. If I get interested in something I try to learn everything I can about it. The best way to do that is with books. And I'm interested in everything, from astronomy to zoology, porn to politics, history to histology. You name it, I've probably got at least one book on it.
And it's surprising how handy my "arts and crafts" degree has turned out to be. Liberal arts colleges know you can't do a damned thing with their degrees, so they teach you how to think. I've found that knowing how to think is always the first step to gainful employment. I've also found it to be a very rare skill in modern America.
And if a TV commercial director can be taken seriously as a cook show host (and he's damned good at it too... watch his show), I can bloody well have an educated opinion on something and be taken seriously without a PhD.
So, *snicker*, being from Arkansas, we were wondering which *chuckle* trailer park you're living in right now? *guffaw*
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... PIIIIG... SOOEY!!!!!!!!
All right all right Jesus stop that! Howsabout telling us where you live?
What, so you can come and make more fun of my heritage? I'll have you know only one member of my family lives in a trailer, and that's not even in a trailer park! And that's another thing. Where do you get off te--
Goddammit, just tell us where you live right now!
Jeeze... touchy people. I'm currently located in Alexandria Virginia, USA. That's just across the river from Washington DC (and no, it's not Washington DC). Yes, I live "inside the beltway".
So what's the point of doing this weblog?
Well, I'm only half the equation. You'll have to ask my wife about the other half.
EEK! No! We've heard about her. We'll get someone with cute fuzzy kittens to talk to her.
Wise. Very wise. Anyway, I write partly for myself, and partly for the rest of the world. Sometimes I think of something I've never heard anyone else talk about before. I often find the rest of the media to have horrific historical perspective, and these are the people who have elected themselves to be our chroniclers. And sometimes I just think funny thoughts. Some of these essays have been banging around in my head for years, others I think up on the spot. I'm here to entertain, perhaps to enlighten, and to encourage debate on things I feel passionately about.
Not much debate going on right now.
True. But we're still just starting out. We need to increase our readership at least tenfold before we'll start getting any sort of comment traffic. But we're busting our buns to ensure we have the very best content around. I'm not as cool as Wil, but I haven't lost my funny (such as it is). I'm also emphatically not a single white 30-something female, which ensures you'll get something very different here than you would at most other blogs, certainly if you're visting us from Clix. I just have to hope that brains are more interesting than boobies. Jury's still out on that one.
You can help by commenting on a story, or e-mailing one to a friend, mentioning our site on yours, or just telling someone about us. We need traffic!
Ok, ok, it sucks as a FAQ. If you have questions you think aught to be answered, please let me know